It's crazy how much it takes to create the motivation to "wake up".

This is a continuation of my original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4em3w7/pregnancy_and_miscarriage_how_to_be_supportive_in/

I looked in the mirror today to realize I wouldn't fuck me. I need to fucking change that.

I have known about TRP for the last 2ish years or so, but I didn't really internalize much. I didn't really "get it". It's easy to intellectualize some of the concepts, but it's not the same as feeling it to the core of your being.

Today was my awakening. I hit my rock bottom as a beta/blue piller in the above post/situation. I have made some awful decisions in my life when it's come to my priorities, health, and my relationships.

I have spent so much time and energy worrying about my relationship, that I let myself go. I didn't have my own goals. I didn't really care about myself. I thought I was a kind/good person that wanted the best life for myself and my partner.

Being the nice guy is a lie I told myself to make me feel better.

At the end of the day, I was nice, kind, and caring for my partner because I wanted sex.

I was not doing it because I wanted to or for any other reason, but I somehow managed to convince myself I was a nice guy. The nice guy pill was sooo far down there that it took a miscarriage/rock bottom in my current relationship for me to spit it out.

I finally realized it. I'm a lazy fat fuck. I eat too much. I don't exercise. Being a good provider due to a good career is not all that it takes to have a good relationship, and any relationship issues I have now are just a symptom of me being lazy.

I wonder if there is a way to internalize TRP without going through a rock bottom. I know that's what it took for me.

These are my current priorities:

  • Myself. I need to work on myself and my own goals.
  • Lift. I need this to make me healthy in both mind and body.
  • Food. I need a healthy relationship with food and to eat healthy.

From there, I can continue reading and learning TRP stuff, but I think I need to start with the above.

Thank you to this community for helping me realize this. You are extremely supportive and say how-it-is even if it sounds assholish. I really needed that. I need to take this realization and put it into action starting now.