The FR Dont be unattractive and the discussion of frame in the comments made me want to post my interaction tonight, and recieve feedback.

I get back from out of town (see yesterdays post ) and I'm working on assembling a playset for my kids. My wife is in a miserable mood. She's yelling at the kids, and blames me for going into one of thier rooms and waking them from nap, which I didnt do. I just calmly go outside and work on playset. She comes outside yelling about something else and I tell her to stop. My sons karate belt graduation was coming up later in the night, and the whole family was planning to attend. I tell her if she keeps acting like this, shes not coming to the graduation. She responds that she can do whatever she wants. I say "you're right, I cant stop you. But I can tell you noone wants you there when you act like this"

Shortly after, whole family is together and I tell me son "you know what son, its your graduation why dont you say who you want to come". "I only want daddy to go." I just walk off. My wife starts telling my son how she wants to go, etc. And he finally says OK mama you and sissy can come.

As the time approaches to leave my wife will not tell my son or I where his karate uniform is, causing us to be late. She's not ready yet either. We found where she put it and we get him dressed and I just take off with my son and daughter so we're not late.

When we get home she's crying and tells our son shes sorry she didnt come because daddy said she couldn't come. I say "thats not true, it was son's decision". He says "thats right mom, and I said you could come". She says again that daddy wouldnt let her come.

After they are in bed I tell her "don't manipulate our children. Take responsibility for your actions and your not being there"

She goes off on a tirade and tells me I'm a lowlife, and I still haven't apologized for calling her a bitch a few days ago, and that Insaid she couldnt go. She says she is not going to talk to me until I apologize for all of this, and that I'm not worth talking to. I say "you know what, your rright, I shouldnt have called you that name. But, I am not taking responsibility for your actions." I have been extremely calm, and just walked away. She said "I'm done". I calmly looked up and said "what do you mean by 'I'm done'?" "I'm done. ". I calmly say, "are we separating?" She says "I'm done talking to you". I calmly walk away.

Did I hold frame in this? She's not going to talk to me for a week at least, I've been down this road before. Usually I end up apologizing for something to break the ice, but that seems like the old spineless beta me. Do I just move on with my life unaffected by this chaos from her, and act like it never happened? I.e exchange pleasantries with her tomorrow, etc?