Been mostly BP for 15 years with wife. Have a 9 month old and she wants one more. I don't want to reward bad bad behavior. Can this still work after 15 years?

Sepean · 2017-03-09T08:38:53+00:00

My job is solid

Irrelevant. It's a beta quality.

my body is solid (have always lifted hard, squat/dead/bench are strong, 6 pack, etc.

Good.

You're completely missing the most central traits that make you attractive: frame and game. Read the sidebar.

Last time, I told her I wouldn't get her pregnant until she worked on her attitude toward sex.

You can't negotiate desire. Read the sidebar, you'd know.

Can this still work after 15 years

Yes. It worked after 11 years for me. I went from worse than you (mostly getting rejected when initiating and my wife did the "disgusted starfish" when we rarely did have sex) to emailing her an instructional porn video to show her how I want her to spit and moan during BJs.

screechhater · 2017-03-09T06:41:50+00:00

Two in diapers will be a mother fucker and you are right to stand your ground, however >>>> side bar- reading.

If you got a problem with starfish now, you are gonna have to fix you. Then it will be fixed

May I suggest - this for your reading/implementing pleasure ?

And, this

And then this

drty_pr · 2017-03-09T13:57:33+00:00

Bro, I normally check a person post history to see if they have previously posted, so I can get more of a background to understand the situation better. You only have 2 posts (I'm far from judging you by the way). You need to realize where you are though man.

You don't come to MRP and expect specific advice from people, if you don't better lay out the context of your relationship. My guess is you're not too understanding of the principles of this sub. The advice you'll get with the limited info you provided is sidebar and don't have the kid. If all you wanted was dudes to tell you not to knock her up, then job well done.

Do you want to have a better relationship? Do you like your wife? What sort of problems around the household have caused you to be where you are? Are you guys affectionate even though the pussy is lacking? How was the sex before the kids?

People can't gauge your scenario without knowing your shit. You can't become a better man without admitting you're shit. Sex will be the side effect no longer being shit.

Side note: I'm 100% for adultery. Provided it's done from a position of power and ownership. I'm guessing this isn't the case though is it...

Griever114 · 2017-03-09T13:24:30+00:00

First answer me this:

Do you want another kid? It sure as hell doesnt sound like you wanted your first one.

Sex life being fixed should be NON-NEGOTIABLE. In fact, i would say more kids is off the fucking table. In this case, you need to work on the sidebar (MMSLP, etc) if she is not responding to this, then she is only after your paycheck (snagged a provider, nothing more). From there you need to decide if she is adding value to you (especially with no sex).

pantsuitdespiser · 2017-03-09T17:22:30+00:00

you don't want one? Then no

Regardless, that isn't your problem anyways, it's you holding onto the singular power-card in your arsenal, hoping you can leverage it into some kind of victory...

Sounds like you need more cards

2ndal · 2017-03-09T13:48:49+00:00

Last time, I told her I wouldn't get her pregnant until she worked on her attitude toward sex.

Nice little sex and affection contract you had with her. Notice how that worked out for you.

I don't want to reward bad behavior

Operating in her frame. Do you want another kid? Sounds like no. Don't make it about her. Make it about you.

pantsuitdespiser · 2017-03-09T15:31:29+00:00

If you want another kid for your own reasons go ahead and do it.

My wife is a total cunt but my kids have brought me amazing value and joy

InvincibleKraken · 2017-03-10T00:49:18+00:00

Get lost.

"I won't get you pregnant until you work on your attitude toward sex."

You don't have a clue. No idea why you posted. Read the sidebar.

[deleted] · 2017-03-10T15:05:20+00:00

Do you want another kid?

I was telling someone else the other day: Whenever you have one spouse who wants a kid and the other does not, it's always resolved in favor of "no kid". You do NOT bring a child into a marriage where one spouse doesn't want that child. Then the disappointed spouse who wants a kid must then decide whether to stay or go.

JDRoedell · 2017-03-10T21:06:38+00:00

I got the big V about a year ago. We have two kids. It's enough for me. Wife originally freaked out once when she thought she was pregnant with the third. Kept saying, "you need to get the surgery." I waited about a year to make sure I was good with only two kids. Then, when I did set the appointment she was all, "well, I could probably have one more but you don't want to." Not really confrontational but it was classic female blame/responsibility shifting. If you don't want more, don't have more. Tell her and get snipped

BluepillProfessor · 2017-03-11T16:52:56+00:00

I don't care if you are Arnold Schwarznegger. What have you done since unplugging? Nothing else matters. You are measured by improvement, not by how you were when it was a dead bedroom.

You are an absolute fool if you put another baby in the belly of this sex denying woman.

However, a couple thoughts. First, "If I don't initiate, there won't be any sex" is NOT a problem. AWALT. Men have the burden of initiation. Second, "rips my clothes off to fuck" when she wants a baby in her belly. Again, AWALT so....TELLING her to "work on her attitude about sex" is useless. You must SHOW her. Instigate, Isolate, Escalate. Learn seduction. Use Dread Game.

I would not fuck her rawdog for AT LEAST two years of enthusiastic, responsive sex. She will do one of two things. She will cheat and cuckold you by telling you about how the condom broke. Or, she will "change her attitude about sex." Either way, it is something you must FORCE her to do, not something you can NEGOTIATE.

InChargeMan · 2017-03-10T03:20:49+00:00

You could work really hard to turn things around, which may or may not work. The lack of sex can't be blamed on pregnancy, since you commented that it was bad for years beforehand. Usually guys come in where it used to be good. If it was bad before you even had kids...

If you would like to become a legend do the following: 1. Secretly get a vasectomy. Tell her you got hit in the nuts playing company softball to explain your discomfort. 2. Once you are sure you are shooting blanks agree to trying for another. 3. Enjoy the crazy sex. Seriously, you haven't seen a woman's top gear until she is thinking about getting pregnant. 4. Eventually she will get frustrated and things will go back to normal (shitty). That's when you spring the divorce plans (which you have diligently been preparing for during #3). 5. Find an upgraded model to spend your time with.