In my beta days I was the guy who would come home with roses and a card where I'd written an elaborate sonnet, then take her out to a chick flick and take a walk under the stars and all that ... secretly hoping that she'd have to have sex with me. Then she wouldn't.

Last year I decided to cast her interests aside and I brought her to the casino for a nice meal and some gambling. That was pretty fun. We didn't have sex, but I got to do what I wanted to do.

Now that our dead bedroom is more under control, sex is kind of the norm whenever I initiate, so it's a bit hard to go into valentines day without "expecting" sex when I expect it when I want it pretty much every other day anyway.

My plan? I don't know. Do I reward her for how good she's been? Do I ignore the day altogether? Do I screw her brains out first and then say, "Now that that's out of the way, let's go do something"?

Meh, I'll probably just do like I did last year - treat myself to some fun and bring her along for the ride.

Seriously, though: how many of you guys feel some internal compulsion like you have to do something for her on Valentines day? I know she'll probably get me a card and a candy bar. That's what she does every year, while expecting a majorly planned date night from me to her. I don't feel that compulsion anymore. I'm okay with eating her candy bar and letting that be that ... and I dread the thought of reinforcing her sense of entitlement that I better do something because "it's Valentines Day". But again ... there is something to be said for rewarding good behavior and wanting to express appropriate affection for someone who's being good to me.

Thoughts?