Wife wants divorce

2ndal · 2018-10-12T18:39:03+00:00

Sounds like she's pulling out the big guns to draw you into submission. You sorta called her on her bluff but then okay'd to sit down and work out details. I can almost guarantee this will not be a conversation to "work out details of custody" but instead to draw you into her frame and submit to some conditional, unfavorable (to you) situation to keep the marriage intact. It's up to you whether you want to stay in the marriage or not. If you do want to stay, I recommend telling her you have no intention of getting divorced and deflecting all conversations about custody/assets and continue to tell her to serve you papers. Keep the divorce ball in her court, and don't let her manipulate you into anything with threats. In the mean time, visit your own lawyer to be prepared if she actually goes through with it.

Taipanshimshon · 2018-10-12T22:58:03+00:00

Why the fuck do you want to be married to someone who doesn’t actively want to be married to you?

Self respect dude.

jakethesnake5000 · 2018-10-12T18:39:41+00:00

The shit test was her using your computer and looking up divorce lawyers. You shouldn’t have said anything to her about it. She was testing you there and you fell for her trap. Now you are in a real nuclear comfort test. Your next move is important and I don’t have the knowledge to help you. Others in mrp would be better suited to help you from here.

Basically, this is a perfect example of “killing the puppy”, where the wife pushes the man to kill the marriage. It happened to me and eventually I got to the point where I said enough is enough and filed the papers.

Most important thing to do now is to stay calm, stoic, and be an oak. Cut the bullshit with the “let’s get the divorce” if you don’t want it and she is talking custody of your children. Idgaf is not the right strategy going forward

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2018-10-12T19:15:23+00:00

Call that lawyer and let her go man. This isn't all bad, your about to be single again. Let her find another simp for her happiness script.

You don't negotiate with terrorists!

Let the lawyer do that.

Focus on being an example for thoes 3 kids. Their life is about to be shaken up a bit and they will need to lean on you.

Fritz_Frauenraub · 2018-10-12T18:53:08+00:00

Oh, the microdosing beer guy. I remember you. I was hoping you'd become a regular here as a break from the usual STEM jockeys.

Sounds like you handled it perfectly. Hold frame, prepare for the worst, and remember that, as a pillbrother, you only do relationships on your terms. "better to die on your feet (get divorce raped) than live on your knees "(supplicating beta existence).

simbarlion · 2018-10-12T19:33:05+00:00

Almost like she wanted me to find out rather than serve me.

Translation:

Something something kill puppy.

Lion-Slicer · 2018-10-12T19:55:29+00:00

Just called lawyer. $200 per hour. Consultation not free

Brickles09 · 2018-10-12T20:49:53+00:00

When women get very surprised with our nonchalant reaction to their divorce threats, it’s because they see us as the ultimate betas. You’ve discovered TRP too late. Sorry, man. Stay play = go plan is the only possible advice.

DavidCBlack · 2018-10-12T18:39:44+00:00

Gone Rambo?

Lion-Slicer · 2018-10-13T02:08:17+00:00

IRON RULE:

If a woman ever desires a divorce, give it to her ASAP.

jakethesnake5000 · 2018-10-14T01:08:12+00:00

I recently learned this week after serving her papers that she had a lawyer on retainer. Basically she was sticking around trying to get me to fuck up so she would have ammo to divorce rape me. I didn’t fall for it and got out before anything happened. Read my post where she tried to stab me. She wanted me to hit her bro and the training HERE at mrp made me look at her with amused mastery instead of going Rambo. This place may have saved my life, literally.

Go talk to a lawyer.

[deleted] · 2018-10-12T19:02:43+00:00

As others have said, lawyer up. You should have done this yesterday. Next, pretend as if everything is fine. Escalate when she cries or gets emotional. Tears make for great lube. Finally, get back on the mats. Join a jiu jitsu gym and choke some dudes.

wkndatbernardus · 2018-10-12T21:34:07+00:00

Be careful what you say around her from this point on. STFU is always a good strategy. Certainly no raised voice, threats, etc. If she wants to move forward with the divorce, so be it. Be prepared by working out your strategy with a lawyer and then wait and see. You can't force her to be married to you so, why try? My money is on her not having the sack to file since this is all a giant shit test to reclaim hand in the relationship.

red-sfpplus · 2018-10-12T19:16:48+00:00

Give her what she wants.

HornsOfApathy · 2018-10-12T18:40:02+00:00

Sounds to me like you already failed her shit test, but were on the right track.

You confront. You say, "Ok let's do this". She goes into panic hamster mode, sending pics and crying. It could have been a comfort test. I wouldn't have said a damn word after the "ok let's do this".... then watch her actions. STFU. Give her that large deep masculine hug and move on quickly.

That would have stopped all this shitstorm you've caused now. You literally stopped her in her tracks, but fucked up talking more.

Advice? STFU. You're just being a dick at this point, which is what she's said about you. You're being an Alpha turd. Still smells like shit, might be the greatest shit ever, but it sure tastes like shit. No one likes to eat shit.

have been holding frame pretty good except a few slip ups where I said you should think about the kids and she is being selfish.

Pussy.

What is the move here? I don’t want a divorce and am scared to get divorce raped.

Pussy.

You're not holding frame dude. If you were you wouldn't be having these thoughts at all. You would have just said "OK" and went OYS.

You're destroying this, not her.

EDIT: of course she wanted you to find that she was looking at them. It was a shit test which you could have confronted or not - it doesn't matter because you did - and now you've blown it up exactly the way she wanted. You're living in her frame.

Lion-Slicer · 2018-10-12T19:27:45+00:00

LOL! She is trying to get concessions to see if it's worthwhile for her to pursue divorce even further. Does she have a branch-swing to go to?

creating_my_life · 2018-10-12T20:46:29+00:00

What makes you fun to be married to? You have to answer this question either for this relationship or the next.

BobbyPeru · 2018-10-12T21:08:55+00:00

except a few slip ups where I said you should think about the kids and she is being selfish.

This negates all of your frame holding

She’s sending very mixed messages. But the fact that she got an attorney and spoke with your financial person says this could be real. If she wants it, chances are she already has a branch ready. Know the divorce laws an precedents in your state. For example, in many states, assets are split 50/50 almost without exception.

You only swallowed the pill a few months ago, so I would lay back and let her show her hand. She will show her true intent in this meeting you have if you let her talk enough. However, the thing you need to be careful of is her acting like she wants to stay together in order to get what she wants in the divorce.

Redpillbrigade17 · 2018-10-13T10:51:06+00:00

If she wanted divorce she would have filed in court and you would have been served papers.

screechhater · 2018-10-12T21:33:55+00:00

Shit test.

Fag fails.

Just give her everything and go live in a fucking cave

itiswr1tten · 2018-10-12T18:41:58+00:00

Couple of things:

What state? Fault or no fault and community property rules are really important

Who has the assets, and who makes the income?

Anything besides the house that is a significant asset?

johneyapocalypse · 2018-10-13T00:11:04+00:00

Your wife wants a divorce. Que ceracera.

Lots of dudes here pointing out how you can posture like a champ.

Having been through a divorce already, I can tell you that your wife seems to be exhibiting the signs of a woman who wants a divorce, not the signs of a woman who wants to pretend she wants a divorce.

Get your gear in order, divorce is coming your way whether you want it or not.

470_2_700_nm · 2018-10-13T13:46:01+00:00

What is this another “what about the children”?

You kids will be better off in a split home with a dad they respect.

Divorce is tough. What do you want? If you want to stay with her go ahead. Treat this as emotional and irrational. Ignore, deflect diffuse.

Then in parallel get sharp man. Lawyer. Don’t skimp. Read sidebar on diverse. Be ready to be thrown to the wolves, and prepare to come out alpha and on top. Don’t be soft on this front mother fucker.

IndependentKirk · 2018-10-15T23:57:11+00:00

Fuck that man, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone that pulls that kind of crap. I've divorced once before and since I was a beta pussy I left with not a single scrap of self-respect. Don't let it happen to you. Leave on your terms.

juliusstreicher · 2018-10-18T09:00:56+00:00

When she says "I dont want a divorce", yet still wants to negotiate settlements, it means she's trying to get you to let your guard down, and give her more money than you would in a court settlement. Once you agree, the courts will say "theyre happy, the court is happy."

Dont work out terms with her, without your lawyer's advice. Do what your lawyer tells you.

Bedtimeshine · 2018-10-13T17:48:03+00:00

Serve her. Take control

Title	Wife wants divorce
Author	Lion-Slicer
Upvotes	31
Comments	65
Date	October 12, 2018 6:29 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9nmsl1/wife_wants_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife-wants-divorce.203901 https://theredarchive.com/post/203901