I'm 41, married with four kids. Wife and I both work full time careers. I'm 6'1", 225 lbs. Bench 335, squat 425, and run a 5k in under half hour.

We all have slipped up from time to time in our marriages and executed DLV's. After all, we are red pill men, but we are human. I'm interested in hearing about different DHVs and DLVs that you guys do / have done and what has worked for you / worked against you, and how you made corrections and grew past the DLVs you were making.

Here are a few of mine...

Some of my personal DHVs

  1. I promote and lead my family with healthy eating habits and exercise. I do all the cooking, but share in meal planning with my wife. I make the choices, but allow and welcome her input. Our whole family is active. We hike, run, kids play sports, and enjoy the outdoors. My wife loves that I lead in this way.

  2. I control our finances 100%. I have owned my own business for 20 years and make a good living. My wife has a great government job and provides our health insurance and she has a great retirement pension. I pay all the bills, manage the money, and save for our family. We don't and have not lived paycheck to paycheck in many years.

  3. I ALWAYS decide where to eat when we dine out. However, on those 10% of occasions my wife asks to go somewhere else or has a request, I am happy to do so.

  4. I call my wife out on bullshit whenever I see fit, even if it pisses her off. I don't care, her moods are like the weather, if it's raining today, it will be sunny another day. Hell, sometimes I think she's sexy when she's mad... besides make up sex is always fun. Women are like giant children. See them as such and you're 80% of the way there.

  5. We have a full time nanny / housekeeper. When we hired her a few years back, I made the decision to hire help, I ran the ad and I did the preliminary interviewing and screening. When I chose my top three candidates, I set up a round of second interviews and invited my wife to meet each candidate and sit in on the second interviews. When I made my final choice (with her input of course), we ended up hiring a great woman that has become a part of our family.

  6. I take care of the house maintenance. I do most of the work myself, but hire out what I can't do. I don't rely on my wife to take care of any of that.

  7. I do all the vacation planning and booking. Of course, I get her input and we talk, but I buy the plane tickets, reserve hotels, etc.

  8. I enjoy my male friends and my hobbies when I want to. I want my sons to have that same value, so sometimes I bring them if it's appropriate (i.e. baseball games, fishing trips, etc)

Here are some of my past mistakes and DLVs

  1. I desire and have a need for physical affection. Sex of course, but also just touching and holding hands with my wife. I have become grumpy and pissy at past times if she hasn't reciprocated affection or wanted to be left alone for some reason or another at selected times. I did observe that this type of behavior pushed her away and disgusted her. As I've gotten older and became more and more redpill, I've realized this and mitigated this behavior out of my life.

  2. I am forgetful and careless about certain things frequently in my life. For instance, I have lost several pair of expensive sunglasses and chosen to keep replacing them, forgotten my credit card in restaurants (this happens 3 or 4 times a year on average), lost my drivers license once and had to have it replaced, forgotten or missed doctors appointments. Most of my shit is together, but I drop the ball on selected things like the above examples. I've made several corrections to curb this behavior, but it's a part of my personality that I struggle to shake.

  3. When my wife and I have gone out, sometimes I've gotten drunk and said dumb shit. This doesn't happen often, but as I've gotten older, this has gotten way better.

  4. I used to DEER (and sometimes still do), BUT I've become more aware and am able to catch myself and STFU when needed.

  5. Sometimes I sleep in on Sundays. I like to be the first one up, but sometimes I get tired and lazy on Sunday mornings and sleep until 9 am (I usually get up before 7 am).

  6. Sometimes I'm disrespectful, rude, and mean to my wife when I am angry with her. It's very infrequent, but sometimes I act like a child in this sense. This has become less frequent and less intense over the years.

  7. My office at work tends to get paperwork clutter at times, especially on my desk.

  8. My car is usually clean, but sometimes it gets let go for a short period of time and is messy.

So, I've aired some of my strengths and weaknesses.... what about you guys? Let's learn from each other.

Let the comments and ball busting begin!