I'm only with you because I have no choice.

Ivabighairy1 · 2019-02-04T05:59:07+00:00

Don't buy a house. It will be hers in a year when the divorce is final and you will be paying the mortgage.

creating_my_life · 2019-02-04T04:50:08+00:00

Am I getting used here or what?

Yes, absolutely.

I still got us a house and supposed to close in two weeks.

Call your real estate agent and say, "get me out of the deal". Hopefully your agent will find a loophole and get you your deposit back. If she can't, DO NOT CLOSE ON THE HOUSE. Burn it all fucking down.

Have a tiny little shred of respect for yourself.

SeamusAwl · 2019-02-04T04:46:57+00:00

All the while, were buying a fucking house.

Shut it down. Better to lose the down payment then to have to pay half the mortgage in a house you cannot live in.

She said she has to "live with me because she has no money and has to take care of the kids but that doesn't mean were together". "I'm only with you because I have no choice."

Thank her for taking care of your kids while you get some tinderella to brighten up your evenings.

It's constant bickering, I know it's my fault, drunk captain, no real goals, always trying to make ends meet, make it through the month financially and mentally.

Really it is just that you have zero foundation for your frame, so it easily gets swept away. You have been at this for 8 months and are all over the place. You have short circuited her mentally and emotionally. You are supposed to be the mighty oak or the rock that provides safe harbor during her storms. You are neither. You have applied about as much real effort to fixing yourself as you do to your gym. How the fuck are you only benching 100 lbs 8 months in? You should be benching 135 lbs or greater by now.

Middle_Aged_Child · 2019-02-04T13:04:50+00:00

He’s gonna buy the house.

man_in_the_world · 2019-02-04T04:55:08+00:00

So you've been at this 8 months, but you've only read two books, your lifting weights are less than my petite daughter's, you clearly haven't even begun to STFU or to handle shit tests ... you are the new champion of MRP fuckarounditis.

Eight months and not even at Dread Level 1 ... WTF are you LARPing at here, OP, other than a fake alpha dominant assholery that's unsupported by any value or frame?

Get serious and follow the damn program, or GTFO.

UEMcGill · 2019-02-04T15:37:02+00:00

ILYBINILWY. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. This is the speech you got from her. She told you, "I'm only with you because I have no choice.", aka, ILYBINILWY.

What would you say if I told you that you could save the marriage by giving her divorce papers? Would you believe me? You have to be willing to let it all go to save it. Are you capable of doing that?

First Step, put the house on hold. If you can fuck up your financing somehow that will let you out of the purchase usually without penalty.

Second, sit her down and get all beta-blue-pilly on her. Tell her that "this is a serious situation and you want to rebuild the marriage."

Third, tell her "We need to save more money to improve financial stability and therefore the stability of the relationship before we buy a house.

Fourth, get into marriage counseling. No one really gives a fuck about this, it's all for show. Just do it to keep the facade going.

Fith, get her into a job! This is important for the next steps.

Sixth, hit the gym. You're weak as shit. You're wife is not hot. She's 37 with 3 kids. Those dudes were thirsty.

Finally, go see a divorce lawyer. Get a divorce agreement drawn up.

When the time comes, you'll have more money saved up. You should have your finances on point. And your wife should be working some mediocre job. Of course, you'll be fit.

Then server her the papers. She'll quickly see how hard life will be without you as a single mom. Then you can decide, is she worth keeping or can someone younger, and better make you happy?

The choice is yours. Someone will be happy to say, "I love you". It's up to you who that is.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-02-04T12:15:37+00:00

Here is your solution you poor bastard

Lose the oneitis

Read the rational male. Good god, right fucking now.

red-sfpplus · 2019-02-04T12:44:49+00:00

Unbelievable that a 40 year old man with a 16 year old kid writes like this and allows this shit to happen to him.

There are so many deal breakers in your post.

But whatever man. I do not have a care in the world about your sad state of affairs.

Sepean · 2019-02-04T07:18:56+00:00

Things touted here as gospel, I'm doing it wrong. Going to the gym has turned into her saying I'm all about myself and it takes time from work. Being more dominant in bed has turned into her saying I fuck her like a whore, to rough, not loving. The night job has added dread. [...] The dread has been good, but, backfired?

This is exactly how it goes. Nobody said she'd submit from day one, did anyone tell you this would be smooth sailing? No, what we said was that she'd fight you every inch of the way, call you a selfish asshole, blah blah. Her response to you showing increased frame and alpha is not to just take it at face value, it's to shit test you harder to see if you're the real deal or just faking it.

One day you'll hit a main event where the shit testing hits nuclear level for days - hold frame through that and things will get a lot better.

FereallyRed · 2019-02-04T07:59:56+00:00

Faggot.

Only got 1/4 way through that before you proved you LIVE in hr frame.

WTF are you doing?

Get to work.

ON YOURSELF.

Bushpilot817 · 2019-02-04T05:24:53+00:00

You have zero fucking frame.

You clearly don’t STFU either, as you’re DEERing all over the place.

Your lifts suck too.

Look man, you’ve got to be your own mental point of origin. Stop doing things for everyone else and work on improving yourself. Read the sidebar, hit the gym, eat right and track your macros.

Choose to improve yourself in some way every damn day.

As for your wife, quit worrying about her. I’ve seen it here 1000 times- the stay plan is the same as the go plan.

SorcererKing · 2019-02-04T14:30:26+00:00

I was going to break this down, but there's too much. I'll cut to the end:

Am I getting used here or what?

You're failing shit tests left, right, and center. You're not owning your shit, you're not interesting and you're not creating an interesting life. Your wife is BEGGING for you to find your balls and be decisive. What is your mission in life? What are you working towards? Right now it sounds like her happiness is your goal. If that's true, you're fucked. You'll can't make anyone else happy by trying to do so; you do your shit and she comes along or not.

Back to the basic texts with you: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP.

Westernhagen · 2019-02-04T15:50:27+00:00

Even if the marriage was awesome, the idea of buying a house when your income is so low you need a second job delivering pizza is seriously problematic. Pull the plug on that. The other thing you need to walk back is "moving to some crappy area and taking a crappy job so you can be near her family." Terrible move! You should have told her, "NO, we're not doing that." Start looking for better paying jobs, and if you have to move away from her family, so be it. (This is another reason not to buy a house in Nowheresville now.)

Wife caught me looking at her few times,

This is not dread btw. Dread is when the girl hits on you right in front of your wife.

This super tall young dude, well call him Chad, talked to her and basicly asked her out while we were there,

See? That's dread.

suprathepeg · 2019-02-04T05:06:50+00:00

Buying a house for a family that’s all but in flames is fucking dumb.

Your bouncing all over the map, which means no foundation and no frame.

My advice is decide now if you want you wife. If you do then start getting serious about dread game and dealing with shit tests. When she’s earned a house then you can buy her one. If you don’t want this woman the cut bait.

ManguZa · 2019-02-04T09:30:48+00:00

You're not there yet. The change take time and your wife need to be sure that you have really and totally changed. That mean more than one year of perfect frame.

"I'm only with you because i have no choice". You can't accept this. She must want to deserve you, not considering you like a no choice. Don't give anything to her if she don't deserve it and work on yourself agin and again and non stop.
No house, no dread, no attention to her... work, work out, read, daily frame with people, your child, etc.

friendandadvisor · 2019-02-04T13:08:21+00:00

i told her you don't have to do this, and that I love her.

"Reading TRP" doesn't mean 'read it and still act like a fucking faggot'. Each whiny "...BUT, I LOVE you!" only makes her despise you more. Your love does not move her. Women do NOT respond to love from men, they respond to how men can benefit them.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-02-04T15:49:44+00:00

So you're buying a house and delivering pizza as a job? Maybe you need to figure your job out first.

RedPillCoach · 2019-02-04T16:28:49+00:00

She's fucking at least one of the guys who's texting her. You can probably find her on a few dating apps if you looked. How do you think she's finding all these guys while she sits at home with 3 kids and no money?

Going to the gym has turned into her saying I'm all about myself and it takes time from work.

Because she doesn't want her plowhorse to start getting attractive to other women, so she's telling you to know your place and get your ass back to work. She knows that you aren't attractive at the moment, which is why she can say things like this without repercussion:

She said she has to "live with me because she has no money and has to take care of the kids but that doesn't mean were together".

"I'm only with you because I have no choice."

Do not buy this woman a house. Get serious about lifting, unfuck yourself, and use the fact that you "aren't together" with your wife to game as many women as possible.

SuperCrazy07 · 2019-02-04T19:16:30+00:00

I know this isn’t the personal finance subreddit, but WTF are you doing buying a house when you have to deliver pizzas to make ends meet? This is a disaster in the making even if things with wifey were good.

And, I’m sorry, but you need to get a divorce. Your wife didn’t just smile at Chad...she’s been giving her number out to other men. Then she told you she’s living with you but not with you in a marriage.

My wife’s friend told her husband the same thing and fucked 9 guys in three months, came home to his bed, and told him about it. And this chick is 45 yo and 300 lbs of ugly. Desperate dudes hit anything.

That’s your future until you get kicked out of the house you’re working two jobs to pay for.

RedPillCoach · 2019-02-04T21:24:44+00:00

Going to the gym has turned into her saying I'm all about myself and it takes time from work.

Get back to work for that woman you narcissist, toxic, masculine man.

more dominant in bed has turned into her saying I fuck her like a whore

Basic Fitness Test. Yes darling, you are my little whore.

to rough, not loving.

Mix it up. If she needs more affection give it. Rough sex shouldn't interfere with cuddling and loving in the least.

However, none of these are your problem. The issue is that your wife is not happppppy. It doesn't matter what you do, she is not going to be happy. She is probably not capable of actually being happy. You could give her a 400' yacht and she would complain that it makes her seasick.

When are you going to absorb the most basic MRP doctrine? Stop giving her the power to affect your mood. She is going to be unhappy no matter what you do. The best she can hope for is to be with a man who brings her up and satisfies her sometimes. Happiness is not going to happen with this one and the sooner you stop worrying about her happiness, the sooner you can provide what it is that she actually needs from you. Only then will you be able to assess whether it is worth your effort to provide it.

BobbyPeru · 2019-02-04T04:45:16+00:00

lift three days, light weights still, squat 135, press 100, not maxes just my rep weights. Crunches, pushups, planks, dumbell stuff.

You don’t lift

The rest of your post was a bunch of noise in your head. STFU, sidebar, and lift heavy. Become the best man you can be. It takes a lot longer than 8 months, so settle the fuck down.

Many states have a lot of real estate loop holes. Check into that, and GTFO of that deal.

Randy_Marsh2024 · 2019-02-04T13:49:32+00:00

I don’t use machines. For shoulder problems the first alternate for bench should be dumbbells.

Reject444 · 2019-02-04T14:04:06+00:00

Dude, you talk about “the Dread” being “good” about this girl at work while demonstrating that you really don’t know what Dread is or how to use it, and that you’re not at a point where Dread even means anything yet. You’re failing (and showing ignorance of) the most basic MRP fundamentals. Like, she tells you after rough fucking that she feels like a whore? That’s a comfort test. She’s telling you you’re a loser who’s not doing enough in your life? Either she’s right or it’s a basic shit test. You’re not even at Dread Level 1 so I don’t see how you can say that Dread is working for you. Your wife seems to highly disrespect you. I suggest you take stock of yourself and really examine whether, right now, you are a man truly deserving of her (and, even more importantly, your own) respect. Fix the things you need to fix FOR YOURSELF, not for her. If she’s openly telling you she’s going to start banging other dudes then this marriage might be too far gone to save, but regardless you need to make yourself better to have any shot of saving this relationship or any future ones.

[deleted] · 2019-02-04T16:12:35+00:00

You're skinny fat with those numbers.

So everyone here has told you all that you need to know and already but just to reiterate:

You will be the biggest fucking moron on the planet if you go through with purchasing the house while your marriage and life are at this point. And most conceivable points for a long time if 8 months wasn't enough for you to really change.

You give too many fucks about too many stupid things to be 40 and are still playing the same stupid shit games 20 year olds do in your industry...and by that I mean night delivery person industry. Hell, if you're worried that loser number 2 Chad will get in her pants try to set it up and get that proof. Will get you out of alimony in most states and with 3 child support payments...that'd be great. And fuck off with all of this "work girlfriend" high school shit. The only important factor would be if the girls were checking you and out and flirting with you...all of this YOU checking them out means jack shit other than she gets to shit test you with it. Girls only care about other girls if they genuinely see interest in you not the other way around.

Not to shit on your job, but does she have a degree or potential to work? Because with a shit job, 3 kids etc. I am curious what she could take without you being able to improve your career and then make more money that will be after she has the LESS locked up. I'm no lawyer, but it may be worth 100-200 to consult and find out. And if she has potential to work (degree as high (or not) as yours) I mean, if I'm not mistaken , she could deliver pizza's as well which puts you on even footing.

I mean, do you have a chance to significantly improve your work situation later? If you're the only one working what say does she have where you move to for work? She going to dig her heels in and live out of a car or stay with relatives to stay in her hometown? That wouldn't look good to a judge I'd wager.

All of this will be 1000000% more difficult with a house to sell you just took out a mortgage on.

Stop listening to her words. STFU more, give a lot less shits. Get a fucking game plan and MAP for your life to either improve your own working situation or at least move into management or buy your own pizza joint one day.

Trick here is at 40 you are still able to really dial shit in and improve and be a commodity.

She's 37 , with 3 kids and no career or seeming aspirations other than to graduate to single mom cougar? Oh yeah, that's a bright future for her indeed. I don't care if she's a 10, with those stats at her age it's all downhill from there for SMV while you could stop fucking around and really improve yours.

WHERE AND HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE? Monk mode and let the marriage go on autopilot while you really come up with a plan to at improve your life and the kids. She could get onboard only after a complete turnaround.

You seem to be waffling in many directions at once. Pick one. And for fuck sake stop throwing more money and time after bad. I hope you control the limited finances and that she has limited access. If not, there's your new step 1. Start actively policing what is for the kids and managing it. The kids need clothes, YOU buy them. You need groceries, YOU buy them. It's a lot of fucking extra work. But dial that shit in for them and your bank. If you need to delegate, hand her cash in an envelope for a specific task. With her attitude and demeanor how has she earned anything from you?

Who has time or desire to bankroll a disrespectful , nagging, unloving "marriage partner"?

Why the fuck do you seem more worried, concerned and whinging rather than ANGRY AND MOTIVATED? Get out of her frame.

BusterVadge · 2019-02-04T16:59:57+00:00

WTF is wrong with you man? You should have a lot more progress in the 8 months you've been at it.

Read more books. Don't waste time with planks and crunches in the gym. Get on Stronglifts 5x5 and keep going at it until you can't make anymore progress.

Going to the gym has turned into her saying I'm all about myself and it takes time from work.

Missed opportunity to say "Yeah, it is, I'm not working out so that gina down the street can lose 2 inches from her big fat waist". (never tell your own wife she's fat).

Being more dominant in bed has turned into her saying I fuck her like a whore, to rough, not loving.

Slap her ass right then and tell her you love her.

I read up to this point:

I'm only with you because I have no choice.

Nuclear option my man... Go fuck other women. She has no choice but to be with you and you may as well enjoy other women aside from this bitter hag.

rustynails40 · 2019-02-04T23:13:31+00:00

Your problem isn’t her, it’s you. You are your own problem — you don’t value yourself. She is a reflection of you and as a result your mirror (her) is telling you what you need to believe about yourself...that you suck. Change yourself and she will change, your MAP needs to be your own but I agree with most of these guys: don’t buy a house, use the down payment to go to school, get a better job and improve your life, lift heavy weights and STFU.

mabden · 2019-02-05T15:16:06+00:00

>"I'm only with you because I have no choice."

Then give her one, serve her divorce papers.

mrp_awakening · 2019-02-04T13:27:12+00:00

This was worth a good laugh. Thanks for brightening up my morning.

Dude, you're supposedly read up but have basically proven to us that you just don't get it. You're clearly a beta masquerading as an alpha but dont even know how or which alpha traits to show. For example, dread isn't about checking out your hot coworker in front of her wife... it's about getting to the point where the coworker checks you out in front of the wife. It's about chatting up random women... not because you're trying to make her jealous. But because you're a social person and you're gonna interact with lots of random people.

Lift heavy weights. You're being a pussy, and if you're a pussy in the weight room you're clearly gonna be a pussy everywhere else in your life. Find a real job. You're in a city... there should be better jobs around than delivery driver. Go to school if you have to. Figure your fucking life out before it's too late and you're old and your life is over.

Plrdr21 · 2019-02-04T17:28:44+00:00

You're working 2 jobs, and she's not working. That's fucked. Quit delivering pizza, if she wants the things that income brings in then let her deliver pizza to buy them. You're nothing but a paycheck to her. And what do you get in return for your investment?

[deleted] · 2019-02-04T21:22:30+00:00

I ain't had sex with Katie.

LYSOL had sex with Katie, I just filmed it!

HERE2SHILL · 2019-02-05T06:58:03+00:00

Because tons of the advice here is bad. Especially the super red-pilly stuff.

screechhater · 2019-02-05T11:43:38+00:00

“You threw me around like a whore- “ you didn’t complain while you were cumming

“You can’t support your own family “ Get a fucking job and stick to a budget

“I’m gonna start going out with theses guys-“ Have fun.

“I’m stuck here. “ There’s the door

No you don’t have to get angry, but you do have to exemplify abundance.

Stop living in her frame

Get to the gym, get your form right and fucking push like fucking crazy.

Get her out more, getvs werkend without the kids and let her get done fucking sleep

Stop acting like a victim in all this. Ya, two jobs, so fucking what.

Title	I'm only with you because I have no choice.
Author	firstlight777
Upvotes	20
Comments	68
Date	February 4, 2019 4:28 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/amy05p/im_only_with_you_because_i_have_no_choice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/im-only-with-you-because-i-have-no-choice.217880 https://theredarchive.com/post/217880