Advice on creating a submissive wife in the bedroom

mrbadassmotherfucker · 2019-11-17T17:19:08+00:00

Sounds like she's up for it. Just keep it up and show how much you enjoy it. I know others here might mention that you shouldn't give a shit if she's enjoying it or not, but I get it. Seeing her enjoy it gives you more pleasure too... Which is the whole point. Don't do anything just for her sake... Do it for you.

Anyway... You build up her trust by her not being dead at the end of the session, right?

FereallyRed · 2019-11-17T22:27:59+00:00

Look up the concept of "subspace". That's where girls go when they get their senses overwhelmed to the point where pain becomes pleasure, they are pliant and totally in your control.

To get there, though, you need to be a competent Dom. She had to trust you're not going to hurt her, you're going to take care of all her needs, you're responsible for her safety, the scene, the progression, the maintenance of her subspace trip, the psychological and physical dominance, the come down, and the aftercare.

It's a huge responsibility to Dom someone.

This tells me that she doesn't think you're there yet.

Put in the work. Set up the scene. Play the character without breaking. Provide the experience. Watch her reactions to calibrate.

Most of all, it's NOT ABOUT YOU in the beginning stages. Don't try fuck her unless violating her is in the fantasy. Don't mindlessly face fuck her with the intention of coming in her throat.

The experience is the destination, not your orgasm. It's work.

Finally, a stoplight system that lets a girl call "yellow" or "mercy" provides a blow off valve without shutting the entire boiler down.

SBIII · 2019-11-17T20:13:12+00:00

You're not pushing her hard enough or far enough. If she gets excited at being tied up and blindfolded, then loses interest and wants to be untied, then there's not enough excitement after she's tied up.

Be more dominant. Push yourself and her further.

HornsOfApathy · 2019-11-17T18:10:37+00:00

she loses interest and wants untied or gets scared that I will do something to her she won’t like.

From what I read here, you're just not providing her a safe place. She doesn't feel safe with you, and likely judged. Also performance anxiety if I had to bet. Right now it sounds like she's performing sex acts and you haven't yet entered into the mental aspect of this.

She will only submit to a man worth submitting to that she feels safe and taken fully care of with.

I had to build that safe place long before we ever got into our D/s relationship. Now it's currents run throughout our relationship 24/7. My wife never safewords because I am her safe place. She has safeworded only once, but I expected it and pushed her to.

RedPillGlasses · 2019-11-18T04:53:28+00:00

You’re over thinking this way too much. She’s orgasming for a way she hasn’t in 15 fucking years.

You’re riding the good sex train, just enjoy it and stop going Rambo

EasyDaysHardNights · 2019-11-17T17:46:31+00:00

loses interest and wants to be untied or gets scared

What are you doing to create trust? Have you established safe words? Do you untie her right away if she signals for that? Have you talked through scenarios ahead of time to ensure you are both crystal clear on boundaries?

Edit: spelling autocorrect

ibelieveican1982 · 2019-11-17T17:43:19+00:00

You left out some important details. Post stats, lifting nos, BF%. Are you a man worth submitting to?

Hugenstein41 · 2019-11-17T20:22:38+00:00

Don't abuse her trust. Build it up.

Also she might be into it more or less from time to time. She might not want the whole tied up thing every time.

2019-11-18T00:26:08+00:00

Are you dominant in your interactions with her outside the bedroom? From how you describe your wife’s actions, it seems like you’re not. For her to be submissive in bed you need to be dominant outside of the bedroom also. Work on your frame and dominance. This will help create the trust she needs to submit. She’s bored in bed because she needs more dominance from you. She’s not going to submit if you’re being a pansy.

whammyfeet · 2019-11-18T18:51:51+00:00

The best way to create a submissive wife is to ask yourself why a woman would want to submit to you. Then do something about it.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2019-11-19T04:48:28+00:00

She’s a reflection of you. Barely interested in bondage. Gets bored after being tied up for awhile. That just means you skipped progression and haven’t read her body signals. She’s just not into it in the way that you are into it.

Want to have a wife that is into whatever you like? Get better in bed s be a Man if Value.

Title	Advice on creating a submissive wife in the bedroom
Author	buckeyeboy1977
Upvotes	21
Comments	33
Date	November 17, 2019 4:53 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/dxoyue/advice_on_creating_a_submissive_wife_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/advice-on-creating-a-submissive-wife-in-the.295588 https://theredarchive.com/post/295588