MRP: why did u get married and what are your biggest lessons?

UEMcGill · 2020-06-19T12:52:33+00:00

Are you concerned of infidelity?

Why would I be? This is the kind of question that comes from a lack of abundance. If she wants to be unfaithful, that's on her. She will be easily replaced.

InChargeMan · 2020-06-19T14:56:24+00:00

Marriage is for raising kids, I wanted kids.

tightsleeves · 2020-06-19T13:08:40+00:00

It is safe to say that the majority, if not all, of the men on this subreddit did not know 'red pill' before they got married. They may have acted it in certain ways but did not understand all the components and what they meant.

Most of us 'went with the flow' or are coerced into decisions. Go to school, find a job, find a girl, get married, have kids... how many? as many as you CAN! - Its all bullshit and unfortunately you dont stop to think about it until its too late... but maybe its maturity that lets you figure it out

I have a good wife... but if there was a time machine I would hop right in. Marriage is good if you want a family with children. Otherwise its not worth it. And even the idea of children is not sold as reality... its hard and time consuming at levels you cannot comprehend

PreEntertain · 2020-06-19T18:06:02+00:00

I didn't realize I was redpill when it all when down. I was a bit of a natural after some bad shit happened in my life. Physical abuse from my LTR. Kicked her to the curb after a few years and decided to focus on myself. Started spinning a plate or three. Most of them ended in sorrow for her, and good spankbank memories for me.

Then one was just too fuckin' good. She did everything I liked. Her independence was astronomical. She'd sneak to the til and pay for meals when we'd be out. opened up to her a bit about my dream and that bitch not only loved it, but she made it come true. It was easy to ditch the plates, and easy to partner up with her.

I didnt want a fucking wedding, but she planned the whole thing and laid it out for me and told me that she didnt like weddings either, so we kinda re-defined a wedding as you know it. The only time I had to compromise was the church service, which she did for her family. But after all those times I face fucked her and forced my dick and balls into her mouth without her complaining I thought what the heck. I should throw that bitch a bone. Wedding ended up being way too much fun. No pre-nup.

I was so worried things would dry up between us. Thought she would stop being my bitch. Thought she we would lose everything I loved about her, but instead she kept getting better and kept making me better

We achieved our collective dream, and we've been soaking it up in a sort of cruise control mode for a few years now. I relaxed on the constant efforts to better myself, but I still do little things, and she stilll encourages me. And I encourage her. She's a career woman and she has made equal to or more than me annually.

Another worry I've had has been cheating. I've remained excruciatingly loyal despite some very fucking good offers. I've never thought for a second that she has cheated, but that alone is enough to make me worry, because AWALT.

I've been enjoying TRP for two years now and I love how the mentality lines up with everything I've been doing.

I know what I have is a fucking rarity, but I still wish it upon all men.

johnmic07 · 2020-06-19T15:54:28+00:00

31 years old, married 3 years, 1 kid, wife is 30. I got married before red pill. Blue pill marriage was terrible and I would have preferred being single. Red pill marriage is great and I enjoy it much more than being single.

Obviously I wish I would have discovered red pill much sooner. If I had before getting married, I would still have married my wife. I was pretty selective with who I got into a relationship with before getting married which served me well. If a girl was slightly older than me or had any sort of red flag I would drop her immediately. I think a lot of guys get tripped up when they get so horny that they're willing to commit to dating a relatively attractive woman with major red flags and then end up marrying them. A lot of the time, if a woman is super quick to put out and you aren't a 10/10, she's using her body to get something from you, or she has some major mental issues. I think that's one blind spot in the red pill dating strategy as far as trying to find someone to marry vs finding a plate.

Benefits of marriage: kids, 2 incomes, wife does most chores, as much sex as I want, I don't need to waste my free time chasing women, people automatically assume I'm responsible, taxes are lower, my wife is really great 90% of the time. I have no concerns about infidelity.

Drawbacks: risk of divorce, once in a while my wife is difficult, in-laws, less free time than single, less flexibility to go travel or do other stuff like that.

broneilbro · 2020-06-19T15:56:59+00:00

Got married because I was taking a daily dose of BP from my widowed mother. Stepdad was not a resource as he was a BP.

I was 27 and she was 23. West. One child that is awesome.

Look up my posts and you might be able to gather the context of what I have been through.

Biggest lesson? Marriage is great when you truly marry the right person. Hindsight is 20/20 but after the RP its really an eyeopening experience.

I would have advised myself to put myself first and drop the Mr. Nice guy routine. It fucked me over so many times in the past in all pillars of my life and now that I have become aware I am living to the fullest in many aspects.

ChokingDownRP · 2020-06-19T16:35:36+00:00

Had scarcity mentality, felt like I was lucky to lock down "the one" for life. Wish I could go back and make different decisions, but I can't. Things have gotten way better since MRP, but I'm ashamed of the man I was.

FatherSonRule · 2020-06-19T08:26:18+00:00

Got married while still BP (like most others, I would assume).

Marriage is currently great, but as we all know that could change at any time depending on my goals and outlook.

If this ends I would never get married again.

WolfofAllStreetz · 2020-06-19T14:11:34+00:00

Married 8 years together 13. (Mid 30s).I really only think marriage makes sense is if you want kids. This coming from someone who likes their wife. Shes hotter now, a great Mom and compliments what I do because I provide direction.

With that said, most of my married friends lives seem miserable.

Also, kids are a massive amount of work. We have one, are not having more. You give up everything for them yet they become the reason to live life.

akihonj · 2020-06-19T07:39:57+00:00

I got married because I coerced into it.

I'm currently 42, divorced 3 years, 2 kids, west.

I got married at 27 when my then fiance said either we get married or we break up.

The biggest lesson I could give to my younger self then, don't get married, go for the breakup, marriage is state endorsed slavery. There is no moral nor legal imperative for marriage.

tropicsGold · 2020-06-19T22:45:00+00:00

I love marriage and I don’t see any conflict between TRP and marriage. I love having kids (we have 4) and my wife is a great partner. Of course there are huge challenges but a real Red Pill man ought to be up to those. Lessons: work on all red pill skills, hold frame, stay in shape, keep driving forward and being a success. The biggest lesson of red pill is to not ever let yourself get complacent weak and soft. I guess I am purple pill not red, never really interested in banging lots of women, and I love having a partner in life. Maybe some see it as a weakness but I see it as a challenge and a strength.

Over60_FireTempered3 · 2020-06-20T16:58:16+00:00

Once you move in together, you are 90% married. Without RP awareness, this begins a long beta slide that just happens for most men. Even the PUA's fall victim to the same slide.

IMO most men are born with RP knowledge. A lifetime of anti-male messaging, sets men up to marry and fail.

The short answer is NO, I would not.

RPMahoutsukai · 2020-06-19T16:31:43+00:00

Got married when I considered myself RP.

I thought I have met my unicorn. (I was 28, she 19)

Why married:

The way society works in Russia, if I would not marry, given our age difference, and me being divorced, that would be absolute hell for her. She would be bombarded with "what are you doing he's going to dump you for another young chick" "ure a slut" "ure wasting ur time with him" and shit. She would no be able to have normal conversation with her family, parents, and most of her friends.
I trusted her, I vetted her pretty hard and I trusted her not to take advantage of me no matter what. I also made sure to have backup plans and to keep power in my hands so even if she would go crazy, she could not ruin me (basically, stuff out of Machiavelli's book). Plus, divorce laws are way better in Russia than in other countries (like, I keep 100% of what I had before her, so all my estate is mine, since I earned it before I married).
I wanted to spend my life together with her until one of us dies. We just are so spiritually fit together that way.
Given 1 and 2 and 3, it was a reasonable compromise to marry. I still openly oppose marriage, which she is okay with. This is basically a formality

Lessons learned:

Unicorns do exist. But it's such a coincidence that no sane individual should expect to find one. Plus it is SO easy to enter a self-delusion and be very disappointed later. Looking back, It was pure luck I have found a unicorn. I could have easily be mistaken and that would be a disaster. I thought I vetted and checked but I was wrong. I could have easily been mistaken many times. It's pure luck I was not. So, its still the same old truth - Unicorns do not exist. I mean, they do, but for all intents and purposes, it's easier to suppose they don't rather than look for one.
Unicorn or not, TRP applies still. No matter how compliant, in love, trustworthy, awesome, spiritually fit for you, well educated, conservative, smart she is, she will behave just like TRP says. Just she won't be as malicious and exploitative. But she will test you. She will bullshit you. She needs to be not taken seriously and she needs to be dread gamed and stuff. Just to a lighter degree. But if you slip you get your brain fucked and tested and shit and you have to bounce back.

Grimsterr · 2020-06-20T02:17:37+00:00

Did you marry before discovering RP?

When I got married there was no RP, I was "sorta" RP when I married, my old man was quite RP and I learned from him but discarded lessons I felt were not right (my old man was a good example by often being a bad example, I could write a book about the shit he got me into growing up and in my early adult life, some of it's pretty damned hilarious).

Has your life improved?

It's hard to compare 21/22 year old me to me now 26 years later. I'm respected in my field, my kid's nearing the end of college with a full tuition scholarship, sorta following in my footsteps hopefully he'll avoid most of my big mistakes, but I'm sure he'll replace them with new ones, and I'm happy where I am.

Would you make the same decision?

Hell yeah. It worked for me gangbusters. My wife ain't perfect, neither am I but we deal with each other's shit and keep it together.

How old are you and your partner, are you in the east or west?

West, it's easy enough to find in my post history Alabama. We're both mid/late 40s.

Are you concerned of infidelity?

Nope. Neither is she. We use each other phones regularly, I, as an IT guy control our network and could easily, if I felt the need, track anything she did online because I control the router. And she knows that if I wanted to hide something she'd have no chance of finding it. My computer screen only gets locked during Christmas so her or the boy can't snoop out presents.

There has never been a red flag or a minute of doubt for me, she gets jealous some but that is good for her.

Big lessons:

Be the fucking oak, never let her doubt you are the rock, the cornerstone, the anchor.

Be very stingy with sharing emotions, make it count.

tropicsGold · 2020-06-20T03:14:27+00:00

She is really really awesome that is for sure, and I really love her. But I don’t think there is only one possible girl, I have dated plenty of others, and I could move to another if I had to. I freely admit it can be a struggle though, she pulls me towards the blue, and I have to struggle to hold. No doubt it can be a bitch but challenges are what makes life great.

SBIII · 2020-06-19T19:39:04+00:00

Some questions for you, OP:

How old are you?

How fat are you?

What are your 3 major vices?

Why do you want to get married?

Do you want to have children?

Are you concerned about infidelity?

Do you even lift?

business---travel · 2020-06-19T21:08:56+00:00

It really comes down to what each man wants out of their life.

bogeyd6 · 2020-06-20T00:55:22+00:00

The families expected it from us on account that is just how things are done. Many years later I came home to divorce papers. The rest is on here and I would not do it again.

Title	MRP: why did u get married and what are your biggest lessons?
Author	Redpilltaken
Upvotes	22
Comments	49
Date	June 19, 2020 7:08 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/hbw31l/mrp_why_did_u_get_married_and_what_are_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/mrp-why-did-u-get-married-and-what-are-your.696458 https://theredarchive.com/post/696458