Dropped by a FWB and It has confused me....

juccal · 2019-10-07T05:16:34+00:00

perhaps she wanted a real a relationship not fwb

dingleburry_joe · 2019-10-07T10:19:21+00:00

General advice to move on:

Stop qualifying yourself, especially by wealth.

Stop allowing the actions of women to affect your emotional state. Even they don't know what they want or are doing.

There's always more where that came from.

LooksmaxxedCurry · 2019-10-07T03:53:42+00:00

Well couple of reasons -

Women are emotional creatures. They'll leave (or at the very least cheat on) the hottest, highest earning dudes for an ugly old bloke who can capture their minds and keep them on their feet.
In general, older dudes know how to lay pipe better just out of experience.
Is he rich? Most people are gonna say she's using him for money but the truth is if you were hitting it right she would still come get some on the side.

Either way, it doesn't matter. Don't trip over 1 FWB, go out and fuck 10 girls hotter than her and post pics where she can see em. Add the good ones to your rotation. Keep fuckin these hoes, put your purpose above everything else, and move on with your life. Nothing good or productive will come from trying to find "reasoning" or "validation" from an online forum. You got this shit brother. Don't let a hoe get your ego down. You still hit that shit. Stroll around like a cocky motherfucker and stop giving a fuck about this bitch.

BusterVadge · 2019-10-07T11:06:26+00:00

I'm 45 and have dated 20 year olds but it has always been purely about sex. I don't see that here... Like you said, this dude is out of shape and doesn't seem to have much going for him. Maybe she's got some deep seated daddy issues? Doesn't matter to you now though, what's done is done and you're going to be better off moving on.

furcryingoutloud · 2019-10-07T11:22:51+00:00

1- Why are you fretting over this?

2- There could be a million reasons why she happened to switch to that guy, none of them reflecting on you.

3- Not all women are wired the same. And most likely, we're talking about anywhere from this guy being a serious beta, which may suit her, to a full blown alpha with a 20 inch dick.

4- Why would you give a fuck?

I've never seen a woman leave me for someone that could make me feel any less because she chose him. Usually, I just feel happy for the poor fuck if he's getting that. Your ride is over, quit dwelling on it and find a new ride. You're acting like you have oneitis.

Does your self esteem depend on someone else? Are you not convinced yet that you yourself are worthy? This is not a competition, she was going to leave, period. Also, no need to belittle that guy. He scored a decent ride if you're sitting there whining about it.

BeeBopJoe · 2019-10-07T03:49:43+00:00

Dude shes just a FWB why do u give a fuck

AlphaBinomialDistrib · 2019-10-07T04:23:12+00:00

These comments suck so far. People are saying you caught one itus and that she went to beta bux. They must not have read your OP.

This would be a shot to any guys ego and this happens a lot for inexplicable reasons. You probably make more money and since you are single you have more purchasing power and flexibility.

TRP doesn’t explain this.

I just have a feeling she has greener pasture syndrome and she will realize that situation will suck too.

If there is any constant with women, it's that they are never satisfied. This is why a pump-and-dump scheme works so well because initial encounters are pumped with emotional steroids and it will really be the apex of their emotional arousal. The only problem is, if you're ok with breaking a few hearts along the way. Don’t feel to bad though. You gave them a bunch of material to talk to their friends about.

scorpionkg · 2019-10-07T04:18:34+00:00

Human behavior is not like math. And you will not have all variables to analyze that situation. Be glad that you have done your work and are in the beat version of yourself. Next one and don’t show her any shit. Be cool and hold your frame, that is what you have to do.

okuli · 2019-10-07T04:55:08+00:00

Maybe she just wanted commitment, she knows that the dude won't run away or cheat. We don't know what she is, maybe she prefers comfort to smv, not all women are competitive for highest value guy.

ricardomhv · 2019-10-07T13:21:24+00:00

Confidence >>>looks, money and game

bowhunter857 · 2019-10-07T14:03:57+00:00

This entire post is scarcity mentality 101

ReformSociety · 2019-10-07T04:22:31+00:00

Stop. Take a deep breath.

She is no longer in your life. Don't waste another thought on her or why she did what she did.

Move forward with your life.

Schhwing · 2019-10-07T04:47:31+00:00

You can't beat yourself up about this stuff man. Humans are complicated and she could have made this decision for any number of reasons. "Daddy figure", maturity, maybe the dude really DGAF, which you seem to be struggling with etc.

BUT THE KEY POINT IS, WHAT YOU WANTED IN HER WAS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH WHAT SHE WANTED IN YOU. Once you accept that just move on and find (more than one) someone who is compatible with you.

FereallyRed · 2019-10-07T10:43:29+00:00

Tingles.

You'll never know "why". So get over it.

KillaJewels · 2019-10-07T12:47:19+00:00

He fucks her better. Stronger boundaries. Owns her mind better. Don’t underestimate old guys.

Experience breeds confidence, confidence breeds success.

ejwarrior82 · 2019-10-07T13:05:11+00:00

He was more Masculine and had a stronger Frame.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-10-07T15:42:49+00:00

Translation: ”Dear AskTRP : I have Oneitis for my FWB, and I’m butthurt that she moved on to another guy who older and who I think is not as cool as me.”

AskTRP: “Shit happens. Or maybe you just aren’t that cool. Or: Older Men, Younger Women: How & When It Can Work”

Kabuki431 · 2019-10-07T16:47:33+00:00

Sounds like my ex. But in short she's damaged goods and you dodged a bullet.

My ex oneitis left me for a 70 disabled biker guy cause she loved bike rides. Yep plain and simple damaged goods. Theres no explanation to it

anal_coke · 2019-10-07T03:43:59+00:00

$$$$$ beta bux

Pushnikov · 2019-10-07T04:53:39+00:00

AWALT.

There are two modes of thinking. Heuristic Models and Systematic Models

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heuristic-systematic_model_of_information_processing

Everyone uses both. But women lean heavily on solipsism, so that when they follow their heuristic model, they assume that it’s always legitimate rational action. “I feel it, therefore it’s true.”

If you see women’s actions as a series of emotional/cognitive shortcuts that they regularly take, you’ll have a better grasp of why this may have happened.

Random series of simple rules that may have gone through her head.

“Older men want to settle down more.” “He already has children, so I don’t have to have children if I don’t want them.” “He’s really funny, that means he’s so confident.” “Dad bods are sexy!”

There’s this really sexy Russian girl I know that loves dating unattractive pudgy guys. Her friends met me on our first date randomly and basically were like, “wow, you actually dated an attractive guy!” She stroked my cock in the car, we made out, and then We never went on a date again!

Some girls are just hard wired like that, and really will never do the relationship math any differently. The take away should be: thank god women have shit taste, or most guys wouldn’t have a chance.

cydestiny · 2019-10-07T06:45:11+00:00

because I can't wrap my head around why she would drop me for him?

Without further context, none can answer. Anyone who can is either a fortune teller or a novelist.

Any thoughts here?

The truth is, yes, he have got something that you don't but it's none of your concern, really. Both you and the guy are better than the other at some point of time, else why did you became a FWB for her? So there is no point debating why.

The why which is important here, is why did you fell being hurt egoistically? Because you had invested in her (bought her some stuff in exchange of the sex or doing somethings for her or merely just your time/emotion) and that you had compared yourself to someone that you clearly did not even met.

If it's the first, then enjoy your time being sad and helpless because you're the one who put yourself in this mess, you deserve it. But it's not the end, take your time to recover and remember this feelings to not over-commit next time.

If it's the later, it's easier, whether it's the guy or that guy, remember that it is not your fight, it's hers. She choose what she wants, the reason and outcome is irrelevant to you. What is relevant to you is what you want from her? Sex? Validation?

Be truthful to yourself, don't point fingers on others and start to actually shallow the pill. I see you have weak understanding to how the SMP works.

tl:dr The ideal case here is show her that you couldn't care less what she's pursuing and show her that you believe that she will come crawling back to you for sex next week.

GregTRP · 2019-10-07T06:56:31+00:00

She'll be back in 2 months when she wants gorilla fucked.

She's seen it as a chance to score the beta or just the grass being greener. When she gets bored but still wants his wallet she'll be blowing up your phone.

KoolAidMan7980 · 2019-10-07T09:45:40+00:00

What was this girl’s family situation like? Did she have her father in her life? Did she come from a good home or had a tough childhood growing up? 9 out of 10 times with girls that seek out much older men, they come from single parent homes where the father wasnt around or if he was it was an abusive situation. These are key issues to vet for as you get older and want to get into an LTR with a girl because these issues really screw up their brains and youre the one who suffers the consequences.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2019-10-07T10:19:43+00:00

F20 made a bad choice/decision.

Shocker.

Learn from it and move on.

ChadThundagaCock · 2019-10-07T10:42:16+00:00

Wait you're that young and make 120?

deathhandmachiavelli · 2019-10-07T12:20:10+00:00

This example also illustrates that conventional SMV is not everything.

There is something about the guy, the way he treats her, or the way she is wired, that makes her like this old guy better than OP (at the present time, anyways).

neveragoodtime · 2019-10-07T13:01:18+00:00

Stop trying to assign rational thought to her emotional actions.

She wanted something different, that doesn’t mean it’s better.

Don’t assign value to yourself or other men based on female sexual selection.

She was never yours, it was just your turn.

Lots of girls have daddy issues. Your salary and lifting aren’t going to solve them for her.

totoro_make · 2019-10-07T13:07:47+00:00

I think as a man you’re just trying to find a logical reason why a woman would do something so obviously bad for her and that there is your mistake, women possess little to none of it

nateydanger · 2019-10-07T13:40:15+00:00

Here's a question I don't think we've addressed in this conversation yet: How did she enhance YOUR life outside of sex? Remember you are the prize here. You are the one that has the money, the future, the goals etc. You are the catch, and if she want's to throw that away for another dude don't beat yourself up. People make mistakes. I'm not much of a gambling person but I'd wager that she'll be back in a few months.

More importantly, why are you worried so much about it? TRP teaches things like having multiple plates and abundance mentality for such occasions. If you are everything you say you are you should have another 2 7-10's lined up. If you still feel the need to beat yourself up take as a lesson instead of a loss. Meditate and evaluate your moves and countermoves in this situation. What can i do to grow in this situation.

Either way kill the sad boy shit. we aren't here to wonder why some girl broke your heart we are men of action. On to the next.

ColdBeing · 2019-10-07T14:09:26+00:00

Some girls just like older dudes. One of my plate's friends (21) only dates mature men (30+) because "they age like fine scotch" lmao

SolidLiquidGasPlasma · 2019-10-07T14:10:35+00:00

Yeah she’s maybe...looking for something else

Ranocore · 2019-10-07T14:28:35+00:00

Temporary beta bucks / relationship with a beta provider. Let her walk while you go radio silent on her indefinitely. If you have a firm high-value frame, she’ll boomerang back to you regardless of you wanting her back or not.

HaroldTFinch · 2019-10-07T14:37:01+00:00

He does important things to her better than you can do.

Relationship Communication Sex

... Usual things

_Ulan_ · 2019-10-07T14:38:35+00:00

Men's peak time is 45. You're just not ripe yet

Gr33d3ater · 2019-10-07T14:44:44+00:00

You say you’re mid to late 20s? Which the fuck is it?... you say “mid to late 20s” for someone you don’t know... you know your own age, what’s with the mysticism? Makes me assume you’re more like mid to late 30s. I mean you called out the girl for being exactly 20, now you’re saying that you are 23-29?... that’s a pretty big fucking margin for me to say my own age is....

Just say your fucking age dude, what’re you trying to trick us into believing? You aren’t going to get honest help when all you do is lie. Also what’s your annual take home have to do with any of this? You know that if you’re doing shit right your salary means little to nothing right.

SheriffBart42 · 2019-10-07T14:51:52+00:00

Rather than figuring out that mystery, I suggest you stop mixing your ego up with what one dumb bitch decides to do.... and move onto the next one.

walawalawa · 2019-10-07T15:23:08+00:00

Similar situation happened nearly 2 months ago. A plate I was banging hard just suddenly went for a dude who is an acquaintance of mine. Weird story, I was banging her a few times over the last year. She moved to my city, she texted me. She came over to my place one night I was djing. I banged her 4 times in a huge balling session. We went to my event. She met another guy and left with him. They've been together since.

He doesn't know. She keeps staring at me. It was strange to me. I thought I'd done everything right. But maybe she wanted a "boyfriend"?

In any case, the why's don't matter. I ghosted her and found a new plate in the rotation.

In my case the guy had a car...I have no idea what else was going through her mind but for me to dwell on it was useless. You say she's a plate. You should always have 2-3 more on rotation.

That way you maintain an abundance mentality.

Stop comparing yourself to other guys. Figure out ways to find higher quality women.

The1ndex · 2019-10-07T16:01:30+00:00

Do not ever attempt to rationalize a woman’s actions with logic.

wawakaka · 2019-10-07T16:18:00+00:00

Older dudes worship younger women like your girl

He's probably super beta with her and she likes it

Women love to be worshipped

DevilishRogue · 2019-10-07T17:40:49+00:00

She was never yours, it was just your turn. This guy could be a real smooth talker, romantic, rich, have the right star sign for her or whatever. That you let it affect your ego is your beta trying to control your frame. Strangle that and understand that this was never a forever thing.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-10-07T19:13:20+00:00

Maybe she has a thing for older dudes. Could be anything. Who cares. You have high value from what youre saying and sometimes people make stupid decisions that dont make sense. Just keep on keeping on.

PolesWithGoals · 2019-10-07T19:34:43+00:00

They usually just follow the money

SeasonedRP · 2019-10-07T19:49:58+00:00

The main reason is he's not you. Women don't keep a spreadsheet and rigorously compare the various factors that go into SMV and choose the guy with the highest score. Too many people here want to understand the logic of a woman jumping ship. There really isn't any. You are trying to do an objective comparison, but women don't think that way. They get bored and want something different. It could also be something as simple as she wants commitment now and he's willing to give it.

deadcastles · 2019-10-07T20:07:31+00:00

You honestly seem “too perfect.” Like you live your life just to fit the stereotypical mold of what women find attractive. The dad probably is more chill and secure with himself. He’s had kids, had a wife, and is probably just looking for fun. You seem hung up on the analytics and completely miss the underlying psychology of the situation.

Harshtroof · 2019-10-08T00:31:23+00:00

If women realize things are going nowhere with you they will cut things off, at least temporarily. She probably realized you weren't going to wife her up so she moved on. It doesn't necessarily mean the other guy is better, just means your time with her ran out.

Snowboard18 · 2019-10-08T01:11:44+00:00

Some women need a man in their life that they can control to feel secure

DiggerClam · 2019-10-08T04:11:52+00:00

FWB (20)

WRONG

This post has oneitis written all over it. If you had more girls you wouldn't care about this hoe. Scarcity mindset. Why aren't you fucking other girls?

philltered · 2019-10-07T10:13:22+00:00

They always come back. Maintain radio silence

MR_SKINNYPENIS69 · 2019-10-07T09:10:36+00:00

I've seen a lot of very good posts on TRP explaining why women downgrade but I can't for the life of me remember the reasons.

Haytch1234 · 2019-10-07T10:01:29+00:00

He probably knows how and when to hit the right buttons.

When it comes to sex, women will fuck whatever gets her pussy wet. Even if the guy doesnt look good on paper.

Having a high paying job, etc are positive traits and nice to have.

But just having a rock solid frame is what gets pussy wet.

Dont take it personal. You should be happy for the dude. Shes just a hoe.

HeartbreakHotline · 2019-10-07T06:15:49+00:00

You are trying to justify/ reason an emotional based being / action with logic, don’t mix feelings with logic, cause you won’t find an answer with the latter, or at all. Keep moving toward.

frognads · 2019-10-07T07:26:52+00:00

You just described the plot of Café Society.

She likes money. Move the fuck on.

thrwy75479 · 2019-10-07T07:58:50+00:00

Perhaps she has daddy issues? Perhaps she feels she can get commitment from him, but not from you?

It's impossible to know what the exact reason(s) may be.

Shadows1455 · 2019-10-07T09:31:29+00:00

Women can be very irrational creatures, trying to find an explanation for their behavior is a waste of time.

Tell yourself that it's just how it is, you were unlucky but you do not care because you'll find other women to replace her

TheBunk_TB · 2019-10-07T11:17:41+00:00

Branch swinging or baby rabies?

pukima_sial · 2019-10-07T05:12:16+00:00

Is this a repost? I've read this before

Wodensnacht · 2019-10-07T07:03:21+00:00

Beta bux. Sugar daddy.

Just wish her luck & soon enough she'll come back to your dick

Title	Dropped by a FWB and It has confused me....
Author	newtothepill123
Upvotes	73
Comments	116
Date	October 7, 2019 3:43 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dee4fv/dropped_by_a_fwb_and_it_has_confused_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dropped-by-a-fwb-and-it-has-confused-me.289145 https://theredarchive.com/post/289145