I got metoo'd. Reputation completely destroyed, cant get music gigs. To move, or to stay?

somejerseydude · 2019-10-22T19:49:30+00:00

Follow the formula.

Cut contact with all parties involved
DO NOT apologize...this can be interpreted as an admission of guilt
Lawyer up

MattyAnon · 2019-10-22T21:05:04+00:00

Should i stay or should i go?

Go.

And don't shit where you eat next time.

RileysRevenge · 2019-10-22T23:56:41+00:00

You already know by now but rule #1 is not a suggestion, it’s mandatory for survival:

Don’t shit where you eat. Avoid sex with women at your work at all costs. It never ends well. There’s billions of women on this planet, there’s no reason to fuck women you work with.

Don’t you have texts leading up to the aforementioned event? You say you don’t want to bring a lawyer into this- nothing legal has happened yet, what if it does?

As we’ve seen lately, women can claim rape years, sometimes decades afterwords and be taken seriously, ruining the lives of men.

Most lawyers will give free consultations. Here’s a suggestion: contact every good law firm in your area and consult with them. It will do two three things:

Give you some solid, brief (but free) legal advice
Establish that at XYZ date, you contacted them about libel and wrongful claims of sexual misconduct
If she does decide to take legal action, she’ll have to look outside of your city. You getting consultation by the various law firms means they cannot represent her because of conflict of interest.

If you do have text conversations of her flirting with you, arranging to hang out, etc. I would honestly crumble the tower internally. Contact her boyfriend and send him these texts. He is her #1 backer in these claims and will believe anything she says. If you can show him she was cheating instead, he’ll start to doubt it was actually rape. Tell him she took molly and wanted to hook up with you. It will start to rot the problem from the inside out.

Boyfriend finds out she actually cheated> breaks up with her> word gets out> people wonder why he would leave her> they find out she actually cheated and falsely claimed rape> your reputation is less ruined than before and you have a chance, over time, to rebuild.

Disclaimer: I’m not a lawyer, not even close. These are my opinions and could be factually incorrect.

BPasFuck · 2019-10-23T02:18:30+00:00

Look. You're kinda fucked.

All the people telling you to get an attorney are assuming this situation is much more formal than your post indicates. But it isn't. It's a very messy, informal, gossip-y thing, and you're finding that people are willing to believe the worst of you and are acting accordingly.

If you stay the course, and keep plugging-- odds are this shit will eventually blow over and you'll be able to rebuild yourself. Could be 6 weeks, could be 6 months. Could be never, if you keep making mistakes.

My advice is to go elsewhere, if feasible. Start over in a new town with a clean slate, and the benefit of having made your mistakes elsewhere. Now you know not to make them, so don't.

Good luck.

effyouasshole · 2019-10-22T20:03:40+00:00

Collect hard evidence that this woman committed slander and libel. Bring it to a lawyer.

Aside from reparations for lost business (i.e.: money), you should also require a public apology.

FereallyRed · 2019-10-23T06:01:01+00:00

I have a buddy who's a swimsuit photographer.

He's a horndog, we've been to swinger parties together, I've fucked his wife and we've done porn that is still on Pornhub.

He REFUSES to mix his business with his fuckboy ways, and that's why he's viewed as a professional and continues to get high paying gigs.

Because most guys get into taking pics of women to be around the pussy.

Work is work. You shat where you ate.

thrwy75479 · 2019-10-22T22:01:06+00:00

Admittedly i was a bit of a slut for awhile

Hopefully, you've learned that there's a cost associated with every decision you make. This includes living a promiscuous lifestyle.

Should i stay or should i go?

If you don't want to pursue legal action to defend yourself, then you'll have to be careful.

If you split, and she decides to go further and press charges, your leaving could look like guilt. Don't leave at least for a while.

In terms of contact with her, if you cut her off, then it seems like something happened, when nothing actually happened. Don't initiate anything. If she initiates, then be brief and formal over text, where you can keep records.

If she wants to meet and talk, and you're in a state that doesn't require consent for recording, record your conversations. Be brief, and cordial. If you can't record, then say you're busy, or make up excuses to not meet. She'll get the message. If she persists, keep records of her persisting.

The point is to not act guilty because nothing actually happened, and it'll look like she went spastic for no reason.

In terms of your business, and reputation, note that we have marked out Remembrance Day in the calendar to ensure we never forget about the atrocities committed in the past.

Our memory is horrible, to the point that, as a population, we can forget unimaginable horrors. Everyone also has too much going on in their own lives to be overly concerned about what others are doing or not doing for too long.

Given these factors, if you lay low, and play it cool for a while, hopefully things will settle down on their own. By then, you can also change your company name, rebrand, and continue doing what you did, having incorporated the lessons learned from before.

kellykebab · 2019-10-22T23:49:07+00:00

This shit is so retarded. Either have a debaucherous culture with the freedom to party in a high risk/low responsibility environment and accept that every once in a while, you're going to have a bad night or have a puritan culture with a competent patriarchy and benevolent protectionism for women. It's one or the other, you can't have both.

The more people try to micromanage party zones the more we're going to have hypocrisy, paranoia, and people constantly looking over their shoulders while drunk to see if they have permission to have fun.

If you want to get trashed and act like a heathen, you have to accept that sometimes things won't go the way you planned (obviously this doesn't excuse any actual violence). If you want to be protected and safe from "predators," bring back the church and marriage at age 21.

This having your cake and eating it too shit is completely unsustainable

FillySapper · 2019-10-23T02:09:46+00:00

Yeah l got some advice. Choose your friends wisely, including the ones you sleep with.

PolesWithGoals · 2019-10-23T00:38:27+00:00

Move to a less progressive place and lawyer up

BobLordOfTheCows · 2019-10-23T02:14:57+00:00

Change the name of your company, have someone else be the face of it.

-ThePathIsTheGoal- · 2019-10-23T07:56:15+00:00

This might also be a good reason to promote not sleeping with girls who have boyfriends. I really don’t see that talked about enough on TRP. In fact it’s somewhat applauded and encouraged to a slight degree.

Yes, red pill can teach HOW to do it with ease, but a possible consequence is what OP is seeing here. The girl can resort to saying she was raped to avoid looking like a cheater and a slut.

A true abundance mentality would naturally deter you from sleeping with women at work( because it’s not worth the risk) and sleeping with girls in relationships (because it’s also not worth the risk).

There’s plenty of others to go around.

[deleted] · 2019-10-22T21:11:40+00:00

Hire an attorney and sue her.

Throwaway-242424 · 2019-10-23T02:08:48+00:00

she was on molly

LMAO do people actually believe that MDMA is essentially interchangeable with roofies or something?

FuccboiChad · 2019-10-23T03:46:54+00:00

You honestly need to consult with a lawyer

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-10-23T05:40:41+00:00

OK an ounce of prevention first. Without trashing you let's look where you blew it.

slepped with a women who had a boyfriend Did you know this? Did you know HIM? I caution guys about banging taken women for a reason.

You know she's not yours. But some dude might think she's HIS.

we were at a party One of YOUR parties? Please say no. How'd you get caught? He see? Someone else she? She just tell him? Were you making out in front of everyone, or did you fuck her right there and people knew it was going on? You can be wild without being skeezy.

she claimed i took advantage of her because she was on molly (it was 10000 percent consentual, I beleive she just wanted to cover her ass because her bf found out). Of COURSE she said this of COURSE it's a lie. Bit this day and age, this is why you only do this shit while you have complete frame. You didn't have frame with her, or frame was weak at best

a bit of a slut for awhile Sounds like you still are. I get it. Be careful. STDs are real. If you wanna do that just be more selective.

now the company and myself both have a bad reputation

Work with male club owners moving forward.

I live in a progressive city

Ugh. Same. I get it. You've been found guilty already.

Anasthaesium · 2019-10-23T07:14:32+00:00

If you have resources aka money create a reputation management campaign and bomb the space with positive news and drown out the negative ones.

Source of knowledge - bouncing back from bankruptcy.

PROJ3CT-R · 2019-10-23T12:28:09+00:00

If you built a successful music/party scene once, you can do it again.

If you have the cash and freedom to move then hit the road.

Make a new brand/social media and a new scene elsewhere, leave that mess behind.

Burn off the deadwood and rise like a Phoenix.

Good luck to you.

Journeytoheal83 · 2019-10-24T10:19:29+00:00

Relax. Its just a smear campaign. It will pass. People forget once something else happens.

totesarealaccount97 · 2019-10-22T22:32:28+00:00

You didn't get metood, nothing legally is happening to you. A girl is talking shit on you and everyone believes her, which probably means you're just an asshole nobody likes.

Rodent9 · 2019-10-22T23:48:50+00:00

LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER. Getting a lawyer doesn’t necessarily mean getting the ‘law’ involved, but it’ll protect your ass in the future. Do it.

dadfrombrad · 2019-10-24T01:52:28+00:00

300 million people, move change name change company name.

jaw8625 · 2019-10-22T20:19:31+00:00

are you in NYC

Nevesj98G · 2019-10-22T23:57:33+00:00

Dude,i hope everything turns alright for you, ive not been trough the same but please lawyer up as said by other members. One of the ppl who Raised me is an important lawyer where we are from and PLEASE believe me brother, lawyer up só you can be ready to DEFEND YOURSELF. Hope things Turn out the best they can regarding the situation

Casd12 · 2019-10-23T04:05:56+00:00

Sue that hoe

[deleted] · 2019-10-23T08:19:49+00:00

Not only should you not shit where you eat, just straight up don't be a slut. You should have better things to do.

[deleted] · 2019-10-23T10:17:58+00:00

It's over dude. If you can move then you'll have to start again but all it takes is word to come out and you're fucked forever.

Try to get a new identity.

seaawolf · 2019-10-23T16:07:32+00:00

Dude.. I'm also a musician, and something similar happened to the bassist of my band.. You are pretty fucked. If you move it will potentially follow you, so I honestly wish you the best. Nonetheless, moving is your best bet.

positiveredpill · 2019-10-22T20:13:16+00:00

I really dont want to get a lawyer involved or have any legal action at all. I cant afford it and am a bit of a starving artist.

Title	I got metoo'd. Reputation completely destroyed, cant get music gigs. To move, or to stay?
Author	positiveredpill
Upvotes	186
Comments	112
Date	October 22, 2019 7:47 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dln9x4/i_got_metood_reputation_completely_destroyed_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-got-metood-reputation-completely-destroyed-cant.292312 https://theredarchive.com/post/292312