Girl leaves date crying

smirk_addict · 2019-10-29T12:39:11+00:00

It sounds like you just figured it was going down hill, you were tired of her shit so why not entertain yourself. She sounds unstable and extremely insecure. You really shouldnt feel bad about checking someone that was that rude to you. You couldve done a lot worse.

I’m just curious how the hell did the first date go??

DevilishRogue · 2019-10-29T12:37:09+00:00

she tells me how she has a huge number of friends, I asked her "are you a narcissist?"

You just became my personal hero!

Was that an awful thing you ask?

Yes, but it was somewhat deserved and apparently highly accurate from how you've described things.

Radkin009 · 2019-10-29T12:21:11+00:00

Good job OP. Called the narcissist gender a narcissist. It will be a good laugh for you in hindsight.

snehehsb · 2019-10-29T13:23:03+00:00

Never do dinner ona date with someone you are getting to know. Unless she offers it and is going to pay for it all. I've had that happen and I was ok with that. But I've been burned my women forgetting their wallet, or oops I don't get paid yet. They were straight good digging whores.

RedSkeller · 2019-10-29T13:09:45+00:00

Honestly she probably loved it and don't be surprised if you get a call back. Most of these women have never heard such shit before in their lives and it will drive her crazy knowing you called her that. Don't change a thing about your behavior, she was a pain in the ass and you asked a fair question, nothing wrong with being honest or a bit bold. Better to do that then pretend like you're okay with being her doormat, be true to yourself and always be a man.

As for women crying, I've had them cry on dates but it's always crocodile tears, so never take it too seriously. I had a woman last month start blubbering about how we were meant to be and I told her we were just friends, I didn't care about her and was being honest. So of course she's crying with tears running down her face so I gave her a playful slap and she was right back to being cute and cuddly. Women's natural reaction to anything negative is crying. Hit a raccoon, pull over and cry.

I commend you for having balls and letting this woman know about her shitty behavior, even though it will have no impact on her life, it shows you the nature of things. Cheers.

Protocol_Apollo · 2019-10-29T12:48:14+00:00

You fell into her frame when she got food, and you should have held frame when it came to paying.

You don’t have to pay.

I would have just said “yeh sorry I only pay for close friends and family”.

Then either she’ll accept or she would try to play the chivalry card and say something passive aggressive eg “well I believe men should be chivalrous”.

Then I would have just said, “yeh I’m a dick” or “sorry to disappoint” in a non chalant way.

NeverLace · 2019-10-29T12:56:22+00:00

I'm not gonna lie, that's a funny story. Why would she take that serious? It's not like asking if someone is a narcissist is an insult? If someone asked me that I would just agree and amplify. She failed your shittest?

Anyways, dinner is not a good first date but others have already told you that.

ThrowsSharksAtBirds · 2019-10-29T12:36:26+00:00

You wanted to keep it fun and lighthearted yet went for dinner as a date. don't do dinner on first date or second. Could hardly tell from your post. Dinner is uptight awkward confrontation with little room for proper game.

Sounds to me you didn't game her at all but went through the boyfriend checklist together, as you're confirming this somewhat in your post.

Finally you went nuclear on her with the narcissist question.

So did you end up paying for the dinner yourself?

KonradCurze · 2019-10-29T16:55:23+00:00

"unless you're shouting"? what does that mean? That doesn't make sense.

FinancialThanks1 · 2019-10-29T12:07:13+00:00

Obviously it’s something that could potentially upset someone. Personally would have just ended the date ASAP and not seen her again

Gandalfthegrey2323 · 2019-10-29T12:44:00+00:00

Why the narcissist comment lol. Any chick would be mad about that. People that need to talk about themselves and out do everyone are the most self conscious. She obviously has some issues and when you said that she couldn’t contain them.

Not your fault she is like that but I would have just ended the date as quickly as possible.

[deleted] · 2019-10-29T13:24:17+00:00

I'm not seeing a problem with how this went down. She sounds like a shit person, and you probably weren't too far off with your narcissist comment. Although, not sure why you took her to dinner. First few times out, I'll offer to buy the first round of drinks. If we aren't fucking, no money is spent after the second date. When we're fucking, then we take turns buying.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-10-29T16:17:34+00:00

we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

Never do dinner dates and never ever for a first date. And if a girl is rushing to get somewhere more important after you it's a hard next in my book.

It was her idea to get food,

You should always be in charge of date activities. You're being quite beta by following her lead and then seriously being upset that she won't pay?? lol. You don't have dinner game, so again, don't do dinners.

She's a doctor and probably earns a fair bit more.

Don't expect other people to have their shit together, regardless of their occupation. My older sister makes more than me yet last week I found out that she over-drafted her card a few times and racked up fees.

By that point I had become tired of her grandiose view of her own self and what a complete person she believed she was.

The mature thing to do when you aren't having a good time with someone is to just announce that you're done with the date and that it was nice to meet her and walk away - hard next. Don't attack people because you don't like them.

Was that an awful thing you ask? I didn't actually mean for it to be hurtful, just kind of said what was on my mind.

No. Content hardly matters. It depends on how you said it which I'm guessing came off as dick-ish due to how annoyed you were at her. Even then, crying and walking away from a date is a major red flag and you will block her number if you're aren't an idiot.

Do yourself a favor and learn from all these mistakes. First dates are always a coffee or beer for 15 minutes. Always plan dates in a way where you can easily walk away if your gut senses something is off.

Manny1400 · 2019-10-29T14:20:07+00:00

Dude, things were bad before you even said that. Any girl who is looking at her watch and announces she has a cold-stop at 8:30pm isn't into you, and wants out of there.

While I still would have picked up the tab for dinner, I don't blame you for pushing back.

But as for the comment: yeah, you were being a dick, but she sounds like she had it coming

dutchgguy · 2019-10-29T13:11:45+00:00

I wouldn' t pay for her food either. Good job.

Whisper · 2019-10-29T15:58:42+00:00

Don't obsess over it it. She'll either call you again, or she won't.

TigerTamingSword · 2019-10-29T12:52:36+00:00

She's a doctor

Word to the wise: good portion of females doctors are cray-cray, probably due to high workload and constant stress. Nurses, less so, but not by much.

moonpresence- · 2019-10-29T12:38:10+00:00

Leykis 101 Rules ALL men should live by:

NEVER, EVER date a single mother.
Never do what you don't want to do. You make the money, you decide where you are going and what you are doing.
Don't ask a women what she wants to do.
Never tell a women how much money you make.
Don't EVER date co-workers!
Never answer the phone on the weekend.
Never spend more than 40 bucks on a date.
NEVER approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her.
If you are not getting laid by the 3rd date, dump her and move on.
No spooning, no cuddling, no staying over. Get in, get out!
Never be in a committed relationship UNTIL you are 25 or really ready to settle down.

Rage8150 · 2019-10-29T12:38:23+00:00

Pretty rude but not unwarranted. Given the way things were going it sounds like you had nothing to gain or lose either way.

Herdsengineers · 2019-10-29T13:38:45+00:00

Well, you nuked her. Some chicks calm down and after a few more weeks and dates with other guys that have no backbone end up calling you back again. Be prepared for the hamster though, she'll bring it up if she calls back.

Honestly, though, a tiger doesn't change it's strips. There's a difference between qualifying herself because she wants to be accepted and bragging/showing off to demonstrate her superiority to others including you. I'd consider this an experience in learning it's better to throw some fish back, and she is definitely in this category. More trouble than she'll ever be worth. If she reaches out again, don't engage. Let this one go and find better women that won't be so aggravating.

nonorganic-psychosis · 2019-10-29T14:02:23+00:00

She will come back. At least hate is better than no emotion.

Uniqueusername360 · 2019-10-29T14:02:47+00:00

It wasn’t awful and it was a reality check for her too.

jaznex · 2019-10-29T14:28:07+00:00

figuring out a narcisist is a good skill imo.

bilabrin · 2019-10-29T14:30:13+00:00

I think she may have been validation seeking. That's generally a good thing in that it means she wants you to like her. Her tearing up and leaving indicates that she was upset that she failed to achieve your approval.

As for the money thing she may have been in the mindset that if you pay then it counts as a romantic date but that's speculation at best. In any case my go to line in these situations is "I'll get this one, you get the next one." This sets up both the idea of her paying her fair share and also a second date.

vicious_armbar · 2019-10-29T15:31:22+00:00

I asked her "are you a narcissist?

Then

She started tearing up after the narcissist comment, made a big deal about how nobody had ever said that to her before, and left.

She started freaking out because you hit the nail exactly on the head. Her behavior sounds extremely narcissistic. She's used to people kissing her ass because she's a doctor. But frankly who cares?! You're looking for an attractive, kind, submissive woman to suck your dick. Not someone to fix a broken bone. Move on to the next one.

Don't do dinner dates. Try to go to a bar that doesn't serve food. If you go to a place that offers food only order a beer. Women feel self conscious about eating more than a man. She won't order dinner if you only order a drink.

dxbfmby · 2019-10-29T16:00:54+00:00

Yeah she's a narcissist.

I've been pretty lucky in that women I go on formal dates with are usually feminists in the good way; in other words pretty strong independent 'alpha' women who not only offer but sometimes insist on paying at least half the first date. When they do that I'll counter it and happily pick up the bill (unless she aggressively fights to split it) and agree she can cover date 2.

But any woman that expects me to cover it is automatically getting hit with her share of it. I'd sooner leave my cash on the table, walk out and hard next than bicker about it.

Respect goes a long way. Show me you have value by offering to split, or I'll assume you have no value and you can pay your own way.

TheBunk_TB · 2019-10-29T16:42:08+00:00

Ill pay for our meal if you pay for the condoms.

ToraChan23 · 2019-10-29T17:47:30+00:00

What was awful is that you paid the bill after:

she looked at me stone cold and said "no, I'm not offering to pay"

Don't be a bitch for the rest of your life.

1kschmeckles · 2019-10-29T19:55:20+00:00

You upset her because you were spot on.

FereallyRed · 2019-10-29T21:37:59+00:00

She's a cunt. Who cares about the details.

Move on, thank the Gods you didn't stick your dick into crazy.

hrm0894 · 2019-10-29T22:00:23+00:00

Looks like she got dating advice from femaledatingstrategy (the subreddit). lmfao

Domebeers · 2019-10-29T22:32:50+00:00

OP...why are you taking women you aren't sleeping with to dinner dates?

Hedser91 · 2019-10-29T23:15:42+00:00

"Are you a narcissist?" should be on a t-shirt now, classic

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-10-30T01:30:41+00:00

Was that an awful thing you ask?

Yes, but she sounds entitled, fucked up and very much like a narcissist.

made a big deal about how nobody had ever said that to her before

She was angry because it’s true.

and left

Best thing to happen to you all evening.

t3kra · 2019-10-29T13:54:38+00:00

This is Well played. You seemingly called her bluff, and how in reality she knows that its a faux, and her life is as well. She has a lot of friends, but no one is actually a friend, they're all just there because of her profession, salary or something. She basically gets appreciated a lot, but no one really loves her. The part about going mad about not splitting, makes me feel she had a childhood where the parent(s) was financially, heavily there, but emotionally, not at all. She's also into meditation class. Idk what you're there for, but for me it seems she's there to get rid of these ideas, insecurity, and back-ideas that trail her.

LordTutanKhamon · 2019-10-29T13:56:13+00:00

Apparently splitting wasn’t good enough for her. At least she got to leave with a free meal.

mayoayox · 2019-10-29T15:04:50+00:00

Mmm, yup, that's a pretty shitty thing to say to a woman lol. But Idk why youd think it's a bad thing-- if your conscience isnt eating away at you for it, then you're fine

silent_dominant · 2019-10-29T15:07:42+00:00

You dated a psycho and she acted like a psycho. Good job on calling her out on her bullshit in stead of conforming to it like an uncle beta

MR_SKINNYPENIS69 · 2019-10-29T15:14:19+00:00

Sounds like she was looking for a free meal and you just gave it to her bro

[deleted] · 2019-10-29T15:16:34+00:00

send her a bill for the dinner and your time then delete block ghost

boy_named_su · 2019-10-29T15:19:36+00:00

It was her idea to get food

"I'm not offering to pay"

you're a fucking moron. never go on a dinner date again

[deleted] · 2019-10-29T15:22:21+00:00

Me-yow

hidden_boi_premium · 2019-10-29T15:25:28+00:00

The opposite of love isn’t hate , it’s indifference

Just relax and hit her up later

oooKenshiooo · 2019-10-29T15:26:20+00:00

It's not a date unless she cries. :D

SalesAficionado · 2019-10-29T15:39:59+00:00

Bitch sounds crazy. I would next her.

RStonePT · 2019-10-29T16:14:19+00:00

that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour) and basically we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

Save her the trouble, tell her she can be early to her next appointment.

Honestly, everything that happened afterwards was you not respecting yourself enough right from the getgo

UnbreakableFrame · 2019-10-29T16:16:11+00:00

I get so mad every time I read about a woman still expecting to be paid for in 2019. I left the anger phase 2 years ago now, but that's like the one thing that still enrages me. Either you want equal treatment or you don't. Fuck.

thetotalpackage7 · 2019-10-29T16:29:10+00:00

Good for you...don't feel guilty. She sounds like a total twat.

FuccboiChad · 2019-10-29T16:38:55+00:00

I laughed when I read this.

Zero-Milk · 2019-10-29T16:49:57+00:00

People who try to one-up are classic narcissists. They require constant validation, and one-upping you is but one of an infinite number of ways they'll seek it. Run from these types of people, because they'll make you more miserable than you could ever imagine.

mrrooftops · 2019-10-29T18:12:31+00:00

She's upset because someone found out. She knows.

mustache_ride_ · 2019-10-29T18:17:43+00:00

By that point I had become tired of her grandiose view of her own self and what a complete person she believed she was.

There's two types of people in this world: the "hang-arounds" and the over-achievers. The over-achievers have poor social skills. Their parents didn't spend time or effort on those (if they had any knowledge of how to be social to begin with).

She wasn't trying to put you down, she was trying to sell herself the only way she knows how: by counting her achievements.

You dudged a bullet, those are self-centered animals.

red_matrix · 2019-10-29T18:38:22+00:00

You dodged a bullet. This girl sounds like pure cancer.

SeasonedRP · 2019-10-29T18:40:22+00:00

Don't worry about it. It sounds like a date from hell.

319Skew · 2019-10-29T19:25:02+00:00

Why do you care?

majani · 2019-10-29T19:28:16+00:00

The constant one-upping means there's a strong chance she's lying about a number of those things, including being a doctor. The time constraint she put on the date and the crying seem forced. This woman is very likely running some type of game on you and it's working, since she's dominating your thoughts now. I would ignore and tread carefully if she hits you back up.

Foolishoe · 2019-10-29T20:25:53+00:00

Sounds like a great thing to ask. Where are you at? "unless you're shouting" is unfamiliar to me here in the USA.

Gave you an hour eh? Bummer but hey, time tables or whatever. I'd keep fishing with her, seems like at the least you will learn a bunch by spending time around her and dealing with her.

Maybe you help her get a new look at herself and really help her be a better person since it's obvious she has stalled out, knowing more than you and being better than you in a million ways... Who talks like that? Sounds like she was really trying to impress you or like you said, is overly focused on herself all the time.

Is she hot? Seems like she needs to learn to talk about things a different way. There are only a few ways to do it, some good books on communication. What was it, 4 types? Agree / Disagree / Relate / Ask questions to learn more I think..

If she can only relate and amplify she's got social issues. Doesn't mean she doesn't fuck though, as long as she behaves I'd say it's a green light.

The one hour window really bugs me, why even accept a date with drinks under that sort of time table? Sounds goofy. Sounds really busy, does she have a dog?

EvelynnSpoiler · 2019-10-29T20:29:15+00:00

Sounds like she's been skimping out on her meditation

Nitzy83 · 2019-10-29T20:42:28+00:00

Nope. This was my ex gf. Women can literally make themselves cry since they know we don't handle that well without even really caring. You're good man. You dodged a bullet.

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-10-29T20:49:18+00:00

The only thing that would have been better is if as she was walking away crying you yelled out, "Meditate on THAT."

Or as Tupac once said:

"when she calls you ask that little tramp what's up And if she hesitates nigga hang up word up And let the bitch meditate to the dial tone And call me when you're ready to bone"

Zanford · 2019-10-29T20:58:06+00:00

She announced almost immediately that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour)

Did she have another date later that night? A girl was telling me about a slutty friend of hers who does this on the reg, lines up multiple guys a few hours apart

to which I reply "unless you're shouting

Oh god where did you hear this shitty neologism

, I asked her "are you a narcissist?".

LOL that's not even a shit test, that's just a fight, this sounds like the worst date ever

BeeBopJoe · 2019-10-29T21:09:37+00:00

Even though the date was going horrible, it was kinda rude to call her a narcissist. You should have found a good excuse to end the date and then just ghost her afterwards. Regardless what is done is done, you no longer have to deal with a person you don't find appealing.

rmcassio · 2019-10-29T21:42:28+00:00

Sounds alright to me.

zboo1h · 2019-10-29T22:44:13+00:00

You did the right thing, except I hope you didn't pay. If you did, go find your balls and put them back between your legs.

These types of women need to be ostracized and ridiculed on a daily, constant basis.

McDrMuffinMan · 2019-10-29T23:25:21+00:00

You could've done it better but that wasn't a long term prospect

schielegirl · 2019-10-30T00:29:23+00:00

this will prob get down voted, but oh well.

As a red pill woman on a first date, if a man doesn't start ordering food, then I leave in an hour. I don't ask to order, I just say I gotta go. I need to leave to go eat dinner at home obviously. Not just gunna sit there starving.

I also never split the bill. If you want a smart sexy, well groomed, submissive, younger female, you shall pay the bill, sir, and not complain. She probably already spent 3x that bill looking the way she does already.

Also as a red pill man, i would not date a woman that makes more than you, or is older than you. Unless you are a cardiothoracic surgeon and you're dating a GP or something. There has to be a dynamic, or else this kind of shit happens.

Whether you justify being a dick by "saying what was on your mind", bottom line is you didn't make the sale. Pick a different strategy with a different type of female.

flyinghorse1 · 2019-10-30T00:41:22+00:00

You touched a nerve

sacecrun · 2019-10-30T01:26:57+00:00

Well...someone has to address the elephant in the room.

Savior1666 · 2019-10-30T02:08:37+00:00

> When we first met I tried to keep things a bit light hearted and fun but she was really uptight. She announced almost immediately that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour) and basically we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

Honestly, This is a BAD sign, and I would have just ended the date there. Usually that's going to mean some Crazy AF LMR and really. . .I just don't have time for that, ESPECIALLY if the bitch is gonna be uptight. . .I mean y'all met in a MEDITATION group? w(hy)tf is she NOT chill?

When a chick puts a "time limit" on a date. Then in my mind my smv isn't high enough for her to make enough time for me without planning "other shit" (probably banging chad)over me. You're not her first option. She's a doctor but she's STILL playing the AF/BB game.

Really, you're not her chad. If you were her chad would she put a time limit on your date? Would she be uptight? Women are NOT "uptight" with their chads. When I was younger I would try to get the bang anyway in these kinds of situations. . .it RARELY worked and the times it DID work, IT WASN'T WORTH IT. I remember spending like an hour an a half pushing through LMR with a chick and when I FINALLY banged her. I was so damn pissed, that I never called her back after she left. I was thinking "Really? is THAT it!?!?" I was really mad. But this was before I began lifting.

Nowadays I'm concentrating on my SMV/money/other things I need to take care of when I'm not out approaching. If I met a chick for a date and she pulled the "I have an hour" for the date, I'd just leave her there and get back work. If she left crying. . .SO WHAT?! When a bitch "leaves crying" take that as a BULLET DODGED! When girls cry, she's trying to manipulate you, ignore it and leave. You don't have time for that shit. Get back to work, go meet women who don't act like retards, I'd suggest you go to another meditation group or another activity group entirely with some younger women. Or make your OWN activity group.

Timdeuces · 2019-10-30T03:19:00+00:00

Gave her the deepest cut she has ever received

[deleted] · 2019-10-30T03:58:02+00:00

Hate to say this but some of you on here (who oppose this) are pussies and betas. You guys are not red pill if you oppose this, you’re blue. Meow pussies.

abomba24 · 2019-10-30T04:13:33+00:00

Wait this was the second date? Forgot that by the end. Man idk how you stayed in there

MotiMorphosys · 2019-10-30T06:20:04+00:00

Ah! The ol' nosedive date. I've had a few of those.

you can overanalyze, there was probably external factors you were unaware of... But bottom line is girls can be crazy sometimes.

proplfax · 2019-10-30T08:35:52+00:00

She announced almost immediately that she had to leave at 830pm (1 hour) and basically we needed to hurry up and order dinner.

i'd of just started fucking with her until she changed her attitude or walked out. i'm super over bitchy behavior like this these days. not worth it at all.

the rest is obvious after this bs.

AshyLarry27 · 2019-10-30T09:27:00+00:00

Probably depends if you asked her in a teasing manner or were stone cold serious about it. Otherwise can't even begin to figure how you gave her a second date.

[deleted] · 2019-10-30T12:37:01+00:00

you should of been like "bitch you crazy" and dipped.

hlorofob · 2019-10-30T17:01:05+00:00

You more or less inadvertantly hit the nail on the head. Good riddance

coldenjhaulfield · 2019-11-05T06:11:46+00:00

honestly man i would put up with it for the gash

kclanton80 · 2019-11-19T18:07:56+00:00

If that makes her cry, then she is mentally unbalanced. Be glad you found out sooner than later.

Her announcing she only had 1 hour was also an announcement that she was only there for the free meal. You should have ended the date immediately.

Her tears were possibly a way to end things and ensure no further contact beyond her free meal.

STOP dating women that are in close contact with you. Now she is going to tell people in the group most likely that your an asshole. Also why the hell do you need to go to a group to meditate? I would think that would be a Haven for some crazy ass chicks anyway.

ice_cold_sandwich · 2019-11-24T01:23:08+00:00

Thanks for the laugh!

imdyingofthirst · 2019-10-29T12:42:05+00:00

it's easy to spot that you're not in peace with yourself, there is a reason you get pissed off(not making enough money, not "many" "friends", she wasn't interested that much from the start, she expected you to pay)

("she looked at me stone cold and said "no, I'm not offering to pay")

yours "This pissed me off a bit because"
and someone confident that he doesn't have to pay and not getting angry "oh, am i not pretty enough to pay for me?"

it's like a dog who barks, and a dog that is silent and confident/comfortable

you were the barking one

she behaved like a child, as women do. focus on yourself my dude. If you don't feel it - leave, didnt want to have a dinner grab yourself a beer.

ColdBeing · 2019-10-29T12:33:50+00:00

I mean it's rude af and if you ever ask that question the other person is always gonna deny it.

I guess that's one way to end a bad date early lol

AlmostWardCunningham · 2019-10-29T22:40:40+00:00

You sound like a loser “nice guy” who is passive-aggressive because she’s doing better at life than you, and you can’t handle it. And if that’s the case, then don’t date above your level anymore.

PrettyHateSmooshing · 2019-10-29T17:16:33+00:00

Unstable and narcissistic girl. Get away from that.

If she suggested food, and, she's not laughing with you, then the answer would have been "I'm taking care of myself. Two checks please." This will do one of two things -- piss her off, or, entirely win her respect for you. Probably the former. But hey, you have nothing to lose with this girl.

Title	Girl leaves date crying
Author	goingright32
Upvotes	253
Comments	220
Date	October 29, 2019 12:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/doosa1/girl_leaves_date_crying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girl-leaves-date-crying.293188 https://theredarchive.com/post/293188