LTR doesn't want to give blowjobs, did I do the right thing?

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-05-21T07:36:27+00:00

Out of curiosity, how long did you date her before you elevated her to LTR? I ask because you either overlooked her anti-blowjob views or she hid them from you until you LTR'd her and then decided to change the deal.

Anyway, while IME, all women are happy knob gobblers, evidently, some are not (or at least rumors have reached me of this). I'm not sure how long she put in the effort to try and please you, but you cannot negotiate attraction - which I suspect will create other problems in your relationship.

So where does that leave you? What it comes down to is: Is not getting blown a deal-breaker for you? If so then move on because:

The Anna Karenina Principle and the Problem of Bad Relationships

-Sometimes, Even Good Fits Are Bad Fits.

ay-fuh-q · 2020-05-21T12:19:46+00:00

LTR doesn't want to give blowjobs and hates the taste and smell of cum so she always gags.

I'm old enough to tell you to discard these women.

Last time midblowjob she said she was done, because she "didn't feel like it".

Yup. Definitely discard.

So I opened my laptop and started working on school projects.

Anything is better than a woman who not only doesn't want to suck dick, but stops mid blowjob to SAY she doesn't want to suck dick.

She then tried to get my attention and asked alot of questions about school and started to touch me blablabla.

Non-blowjob-givers like to pretend they can substitute blowjobs with ham sandwiches and other bullshit. lol

After dinner I told her to leave and now I have soft/hard (?) nexted her and got a plate (first one) to fuck this weekend.

Right move.

Did I overreact? She is an amazing girlfriend, but what the fuck kind of girlfriend doesn't want to give blowjobs?

You did the right move. If you keep her, you'll eventually end up in that deadbedrooms sub, begging for advice to get your girl to pretend to want to suck your dick.

wanker7171 · 2020-05-21T10:35:18+00:00

the health of my last LTR seemed to be directly associated with bj frequency.

ProFriendZoner · 2020-05-21T07:58:14+00:00

You let her know you won't put up with her bullshit and held frame.

There are plenty of women out there that like to give head.

Find one.

sasakuowo · 2020-05-21T07:29:13+00:00

Depends, I’d react similarly. If she doesn’t give you a blowjob she doesn’t respect you enough, and also not all cum tastes and smells the same it depends on how hydrated you are and your diet, be healthy if you’re not already

IXseed · 2020-05-21T17:06:55+00:00

If you want your girl to suck dick you gotta find a dick-sucking girl.

Domebeers · 2020-05-21T14:52:46+00:00

a women not liking to please you is a major sign of trouble, hoss

Semantics127 · 2020-05-21T07:45:24+00:00

I bet if you were filthy rich and better looking she would. So what does that tell you about her?

DoesItMatterTooYou · 2020-05-21T08:52:51+00:00

If this is an early GF for you then absolutely move on. You have to explore some to get an idea of your strong desires. If you don't know yourself then really no girl is LTR/wifey material until you figure yourself out. Horny enthusiasm working my tool is always front of my mind...

bert_cj · 2020-05-21T15:54:13+00:00

This used to happen to me all the time before I discovered red pill. My blue pill beta behavior made my girl unattracted to me, constantly denying me sex and head.

Once i started working on myself, stayed in better shape, better clothes, better grooming etc etc, stopped being needy, and stayed in my masculine frame, this stopped happening.

Lalocal4life · 2020-05-21T17:17:41+00:00

She is testing you to see if.she can control you. This is the tip of the iceberg. Run.

acoltismypassport · 2020-05-21T12:38:16+00:00

My current girl doesn't like swallowing, hates the taste of a hot load. She gives head, just won't swallow. First time it happened I had the same thoughts - auto next, no contact. However, the desire is there, and I get everything else whenever I want.

Some girls just don't like the taste of cum. Not even giving a blowjob though? That'd be a deal breaker. Doubly so if she isn't compensating in other ways - anal, other stuff. You get the picture.

Tiway22 · 2020-05-21T16:16:49+00:00

Dont ever LTR someone who doesn’t meet your needs.

Crixusgannicus · 2020-05-21T17:16:35+00:00

If you hired someone to work at a job and they balked at performing one of the necessary functions of that job, what would you do? Would you not:

1)Fire that person and hire someone else or

2)Keep that person on and hire someone else to take up the slack or

3)Demote that person, whilst keeping them on and hire someone else who will do all that's required, placing the new person in the old persons job.

Would you not?

jchrist98 · 2020-05-21T16:58:13+00:00

Give her a backhand slap and say "I will not take this treatment from a woman." Then unsheathe your imaginary sword and pretend to behead her.

flatox · 2020-05-21T15:04:27+00:00

Well make sure your dick is clean af.

zboo1h · 2020-05-21T16:38:17+00:00

You did exactly the right thing. No emotion, no anger, no disappointment or ultimatum or whatever - excellent.

If someone doesn't do the job, replace that someone. If you hire a plumber and they just sit on their phone and tell you they don't like the smell of toilets and so on, do you keep calling the plumber? Fuck no.

You sound extremely young, I say reduce her to plate status and move on with your life.

JustArtist8 · 2020-05-21T14:43:54+00:00

Yeah getting real tired of women not doing what we get them for.

Don_Draper27 · 2020-05-21T18:03:19+00:00

This should’ve been acknowledged during the vetting process. If blowjobs are a deal breaker then consider keeping them as plates at best, if the PIV is good enough.

I had a plate 2 years ago that swore she’d never given head before. I tried pushing it the first few times but she was firm on not doing it. She’d say that if I LTR’d her she would then give me a blowjob. LMAO, no. She lived like a mile away and PIV was great and she had a really nice ass so she stayed but I had 2 other girls that enjoyed my dick in their mouths so I wasn’t BJ deprived.

No BJ girl got cold so I ended up fucking her friend, who did give BJ’s. She was aware that the friend never gave blowjobs and said she “felt bad” that I wasn’t getting that. I smirked and replied, “true, I wasn’t getting blowjobs from HER”. Her face was priceless.

H_Crush · 2020-05-21T18:25:17+00:00

too comfortable with you and lost frame. if she says she doesn't like it, it means loss of attraction and you can't negotiate that. you'll need to pull away attention and detach and see from there if the ltr is worth it (otherwise great value to your life), but start lining up plates in case it doesn't pan out

Carlos_Kingston · 2020-05-21T18:26:06+00:00

The very obvious question is would you spend the rest of your life not getting blowjobs or rare blowjobs that suck? pun intended As for the taste of cum, with her or whoever you find after you dump her (as you should), read up on diet etc effect on flavor. Drink plenty of water, avoid bitter or spicy food, garlic, wine, tobacco, coffee, certain vegetables and lots of other stuff. Fruit helps. If you eat right it doesn't taste much of anything. Actually saw a sex ed show here on TV a few years ago where the host (guy) talked about how to get "gourmet cum" 😅 Also you can cum as deep as possible in her throat so she won't or only barely taste it at all.

Fabulous-Craft · 2020-05-21T19:07:51+00:00

I'd say you handled it well, but you should take this as a wakeup call.

Blowjobs are very much about straight up sexual attraction. Tons of women out there who haven't given their husbands head in decades and are deep throating a hot stranger.

Mind is right, makes sure the body is too.

rugged79 · 2020-05-21T21:29:16+00:00

The amount of time my dick spends in a woman's mouth is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit I'm willing to put up with from her before I Next her.

Very few women really have a real, valid issue with blowjobs. But perpetually single feminists, the media and beta dudes have taught them that they can get everything they want. They didn't teach them about the struggle and sacrifices that they would have to make in order to achieve everything they want. So most women think that they can put comfort as their highest priority, dodging adversity and still achieve the desired effect.

So most women are subconsciously conditioned to think like this:

Sex:

Objectively: mutual giving and receiving benefits

What she sees: she's LETTING you receive benefits as someone who is granting them... doing you a FAVOR

Going down on a chick:

Objectively: whether or not you enjoy it, you're putting in work

What she sees: you're MUTUALLY getting pleasure and benefitting because she's giving you sex

Blowjob:

Objectively: her putting in work to make you desire to be around her

What she sees: no obvious benefits to her, patriarchy, oppression, indentured servitude, blah blah blah

So unless she was taught that this way of thinking is incorrect, at no point in time is she thinking you're both equal in getting and receiving pleasure. She's either doing you a favor by letting you have sex, or you're both benefitting when you go down on her.

If you're a Chad, either all her "logic" goes out the window or she sees it as doing him a favor by granting him sex. Or she sees that this guy is "High Value" and offers him what he wants in order to compete with all the other women vying for his attention. Because it's assumed he gets it all the time, she's got to offer sex to attempt to "plant her flag".

It's highly unlikely that she has a real, valid issue with blowjobs. So either she doesn't see you as High Value or her way of thinking about sex is wrong and either way, she's probably taking you for granted.

If it's about value, the standard "Go lift and read the Sidebar" applies.

If it's about her mental approach to sex, reeducate her about how men and women don't owe each other shit, but she has to put in work to make you have the desire to be around her and vice versa. You put up with her shit, protect her and in an LTR, sometimes assist or provide for her. If she can't see that, then it's time to NEXT.

Gonna make a post that loosely applies to this topic. Stay tuned!

DTron2332 · 2020-05-21T15:02:07+00:00

Oh she’s doesn’t want to give blowjobs? Well let her know you don’t want to be in a relationship, with a girl that doesn’t give blowjobs, and mean it.

That’s bullshit, all women will easily suck the cock of a guy they view as higher value, and would love to please. Ditch her, or go find another girl to give you a blowjob, tell your gf she can watch so she can get an idea of what you’re into ;)

TheDeadlyZebra · 2020-05-21T18:57:09+00:00

My first wife surprised me shortly after we were married with that shit.

Luckily she's now an ex-wife.

party_dragon · 2020-05-21T20:33:48+00:00

Up to you what you want.

Personally, I think life's too short for not getting blowjobs.

comcain · 2020-05-22T01:09:10+00:00

"I go down on you and give you amazing orgasms. You won't do this for me. That's a dealbreaker for me. Deal with it."

Cheers

2020-05-22T01:58:58+00:00

I had an LTR who was perfect in every way except she didn't give blowjobs. I tried to ignore it but it was gnawing away at me. Eventually I had to dump her. Just end the LTR now, it's not worth being unsatisfied when there are so many woman out there who love sucking dick. Don't tell her it's because of the blowjobs, maybe in the future you could tell her that was why to try to help her after you guys are both moved on but definitely don't bring it up during the breakup or anytime soon.

ilike-titties · 2020-05-22T05:27:51+00:00

Have you told her this is a deal breaker for you? How is anyone supposed to meet an expectation they don’t know exists?

If so, then maybe you’re just not compatible.

TheStumblingWolf · 2020-05-21T14:15:41+00:00

Some people just don't like a thing. You need to figure out if she just doesn't like blowjobs on you, or in general.

MisterRoid · 2020-05-21T09:09:47+00:00

Good job. I think you handled it well.

ViolentInteger · 2020-05-21T16:25:37+00:00

Silently demote to plate/FWB.

If you're compromising on the necessities of your LTR, then you've made a mistake (likely due to scarcity mentality).

I've personally had plates/FWBs that don't give blowjobs, and things worked out fine. When I was in the mood for a BJ, I'd just hit up one of the other women in the rotation.

Human_Extreme · 2020-05-21T16:24:27+00:00

[deleted]

yvngmysterious13 · 2020-05-21T16:53:11+00:00

what js LTR?

Title	LTR doesn't want to give blowjobs, did I do the right thing?
Author	Human_Extreme
Upvotes	81
Comments	106
Date	May 21, 2020 7:17 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gns7af/ltr_doesnt_want_to_give_blowjobs_did_i_do_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-doesnt-want-to-give-blowjobs-did-i-do-the.666261 https://theredarchive.com/post/666261