I am currently working through NMMNG and reading past posts in MRP, and a few concepts seem to be at odds with each other. I read about how sex is expected, non-negotiable (maybe someone can put it in a better way), and to take away affection if it's refused. But I also read about emphasizing outcome independence and not giving-to-get. It seems that if we react with freezing out the wife when we don't get sex it is the opposite of outcome independence, and the same as giving-to-get or having a hidden contract. How can these two concepts be reconciled?