AWALT and the numbness

fnordsnord · 2015-06-14T22:16:53+00:00

You are a PRIME candidate for trickle truth here. She SAY it was the one guy, the one time, all those years ago.

Make a survey. Ask ALL them MEN you know if they've heard, seen, or suspect anything about her. Pay special attention to the husbands of her best friends.

Smart money says you'll find out there were more.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-06-14T21:04:10+00:00

To be clear, your wife has been faithful to her marriage vows but she cheated on an old boyfriend to whom she was not even engaged, and only once or twice, and only at the beginning of the relationship, and only when he was gone for several months, and all this happened when she was 12-14 younger than she is now and the relationship has been good since then?

strategos_autokrator · 2015-06-14T22:31:44+00:00

There isn't a married man in the United states who has a different story to tell. He may not be aware but like you said...AWALT.

Women's true nature is quite different than the "pure as driven snow princess bullshit" we were sold. She is following instincts as the guardian of reproduction and can't understand loyalty or true love as a man wants to be loved.

Go slow here brother. I think that this may be your final course of the RP feast. Your surprise here tells me you hadn't fully absorbed everything....

strategos_autokrator · 2015-06-14T23:50:26+00:00

Interesting to see the responses that OP shouldn't just delete his wife immediately for cheating. Didn't expect that from a red pill perspective.

That said, reading through the comments here, it sounds like you've got the captain's quarters squared away and let her know that if she's not going to be the first mate, she's walking the plank with you. God for you, for keeping a cool head and holding onto your bearing through it all. I'm only just learning that as a new soldier but I'm sure basic training will assist with my own red pill journey.

JonnyJaded · 2015-06-14T22:08:06+00:00

Jesus. That blows! After all these years, how the hell did you find out? How is she acting? How have you been acting around her? Maybe you should GTFO of the house for afew days and turn your phone off.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-06-15T09:15:21+00:00

I respect whatever choice you make.

With that said, you know AWALT. This is their nature. It is understandable you are upset, but women can't do better than that, it is their nature. Being angry is perfectly reasonable, as this was cheating, and you must take measures. But also, ask yourself, is part of your anger coming from realizing she isn't a unicorn? If so, then, process that anger like a Stoic, facing reality, AWALT. That secondary anger based on your wrong expectations is something you can get rid off, as it is unhelpful.

You can't change the past, but you can change the future. What matters is how you will respond to this. Accept all the emotions. They are real, honor them by accepting then. But then, think how to act from your vision to get what you want. This might mean redefining the relationship, separation, or might just means increased dread, leverage, or more boundaries. Only you can now. But accept what you can't change, and then work ward to change what you can. Misfortune born nobly is good fortune.

marxistbacon · 2015-06-14T23:17:41+00:00

Holy shit. That's tough. First advice is don't make any life-altering decisions in the heat of the moment - take your time here.

So this was almost ten years ago, and before you were married and before you became the man you are now... that counts for some grace in my books. What matters is where you want to go now and who you are now. That being said, if you can't see a way forward without this hanging over you forever, then make your call - after you're cooled down.

You cannot live in the past. At some point you'll have to let go of the anger about this. The sooner you get there the sooner you'll be able to see the right path.

Tk0119v2 · 2015-06-15T19:54:28+00:00

This post helped me so much. I am in the same boat. Married for 13 years, 2 kids. I found out that my wife (then girlfriend) drunkly walked into a buddies barracks room while I was in Ranger School. She swears up and down that all they did was cuddle but he did try to finger her and she shut it down. Trickle truth led to him trying to put her hand on his dick but she swore she moved away. I struggled long and hard after knowing what I know from this sub. It took about 2 months for me to work through it, make a decision, and move on. My thought process was similar to yours.

2015-06-15T02:33:45+00:00

1 of the many reasons I advocate against any type of formal boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. They don't mean shit. Have a friend you enjoy seeing and hanging out with who for all intents and purposes is your girlfriend, but get rid of the title and any type of "obligation" you have is gone.

Good luck. AWALT.

Also, why can't you spin plates now? I think you should totally be able to go fuck some honeys.

ZeeyardSA · 2015-06-15T04:38:10+00:00

Time Mate, Time..I know the Exact feeling...I was Numb but in time it got better...

watch_ping · 2015-06-15T16:07:54+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain here and let you know you're being a cuck by staying with her. If you're the RP man you claim to be, go find a woman who actually respects you.

2015-06-16T14:08:32+00:00

yeah, better off finding this out now, than during a 3 month tgex in san diego.

guaranteed you have enouhg co workers that can give you good and bad examples of this situation. Do you want a dependapotamus?

Though if you're going to stay, I'm sure you have weighed the facts.

your kids impression of a girl who cheats on her guy every time he leaves the house is probably mitigated.

Theres a lot of situations where you will be gone for long stretches, I'm sure you've worked on a plan to rebuild that trust, last thing you need on your mind while missing sleep is what shes doing with your money you are sacraficing your body to make.

I'm sure once she's exposed to the hyper sexual atmosphere of the naval community (wives and husbands) you've gotten some assurances of her keeping her legs in check.

And I'm sure you found out because she instantly fessed up, when there was no way of you finding out, and has given you free access to all her ways of communication to build trust back.

Either way, aside from the cheating, theres a lot of potential red flags you need to check out first. How far has she gone to dissuading your doubts?

Numb should be a good thing, it keeps you from trying to hamster yourself into a corner, use it as such

cegh · 2015-06-24T07:27:44+00:00

I'm going to give advice to men who read this not to the poster:

What ALL men who read this forum should learn. Don't have a girlfriend while in the army/navy/marines etc being sent away for long periods of time .

What he should have done: Left her. His male hamster span so hard that he couldn't bare losing her. He is a beta regardless of what he says. If cheating isn't a high enough standard for a man, don't expect your wife to have any respect for you. She lost his respect as soon as she cheated/

He may have become 'alpha' but she blew him away when she told him she cheated. This was the big test. She knew he wasn't an alpha because he took her back. A man with respect for himself wouldn't do that. So he failed and she now realises he's still that pussy whipped guy she cheated on all those years ago and she can use him as a provider and keep cheating.

Don't be this guy.

Title	AWALT and the numbness
Author	TrainingTheBrain
Upvotes	11
Comments	51
Date	June 14, 2015 8:13 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/39u56u/awalt_and_the_numbness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/awalt-and-the-numbness.201694 https://theredarchive.com/post/201694