I unknowingly took my journey into the RP about a month ago. 15 years with my wife, beta-ing it up hoping that that next thing I did for her would make her happy and everything would be great. I took on way more of the responsibilities than I should have. She's done a good job at shirking them and then throwing shit in my face while I was cleaning, doing dishes or whatever, about how she does so much more than me and how I forget to do shit, blah blah blah. It started with a cat that I got her...it's more or less my cat now. Dogs are 100% my responsibility too. Sex about once ever 3 months. Then we had a kid (of course when she wanted a kid it was sex EVERY day until she conceived...and lucky for me I'm fertile and it happened the first month both kids, yippie!).....but since I fell back to sleep easily, it became my duty to deal with him in the middle of the night. Had a second kid, I'm still dealing with that now. I had a bit of an awakening, a numbing of my marriage and being treated like the beta that I was. I was fat, out of shape and miserable. I cut out eating like a slob, stopped drinking all sodas and started working out. I was numb to my wife's constant shit tests, I just kind of ignored them...I was in a daze like Peter was in Office Space when he was hypnotized. I had taken the red pill...but not knowing that I had and I had no morpheus to show me the way. I went numb to the world for about 2 weeks when we had a trip out of town that I had been dreading.

Going anywhere with her is a fucking shit show because I apparently never do a thing to pack, I don't get the kids shit ready to be out the door, it's always something. She's on high shit test alert when we're about to go somewhere. I just kind of ignore it it this go around. Now, this is an informal wedding and I've recently taken an interest in photography so I was asked to take pictures for the wedding. Going in my wife knew this, we agreed that she would take the kids back to the hotel early and I'd stay and finish taking pictures. Well, an old (female) friend of mine grabbed me before she left and insisted I stay...she knew I was miserable and she knew my wife would try to get me to leave and she wanted me to stay, get drunk and have fun. So, my wife left, as expected and my friend started feeding me beer and moonshine (yes, THAT kind of informal wedding, lol). Anyhow, I had fun...if my eyes weren't open before, they were wide open now. I take some more pictures, get some cool night shots, continue drinking and then decide to go check my phone. Uh oh...3 missed calls from the wife. Now, this isn't uncommon. She's like a fun seeking missile. My friend is there with me when I make the call back. "Where are you, are you still taking pictures, this is ridiculous! The kids have been crying for you". I reminded her that she went to a 3 day concert 2 weeks prior and left me with 2 sick kids. "That was different, you were home!". I calmly said that I was there and that I was having fun. I promptly got hung up on. My friend asked me if I wanted her to take me home, I said "no, fuck her, get me another beer". I continued to get shitfaced and she gave me a ride home sometime after midnight. For 20 minutes, in front of the kids, there was a huge tirade about how I need to put the family first and how my family wouldn't return the favor for taking pictures and how she had to tend to the kids (who were fine on their own, there were plenty other kids there...she had to deal with one potty training accident). I just kind of sat there stone faced, doing that shit in front of the kids isn't my style. I know now that I should have shut her down, but this was before really looking into the whole red pill thing.

Anyhow, I've finally decided to work on the prerequisites. I'm halfway through NMMNG, starting to make the necessary changes and already seeing some positive changes. But one shit test I am struggling mightily with is her more or less making me take my daughter to the bathroom every time she has to go. Tonight we were in the Dr's waiting room with my son, she was filling out paperwork and my daughter's pull-up needed to be changed. No biggie, I took her and changed her and went back out and sat down with her. While she was still busy my daughter then said she had to go to the bathroom. So I took her, we came back and sat down, she was now sitting with my son. My daughter is misbehaving and my wife is playing on her phone. Then my daughter decides she has to go potty again. I tell my daughter to go tell mommy, it's her turn. My wife looks up from her phone and tells me that I need to do it. I told her no, I've already done it twice, it's your turn. I got the stare of death, boldface defiance, she refused to take her saying that she did the glorious deed of sitting with my son in the eye Dr. earlier that day (yes, this was the 2nd dr. that day). My daughter was climbing on the chair and I told her to get down, looked back at my wife and insisted that it was her turn. My daughter still not listening, I got up and took her off the chair and stood her on the floor and was about to take her. My wife got angry that I was too mean to the daughter for not listening, the daughter fed into it and got upset and the wife FINALLY took her to the bathroom. I stood my ground and all, but I was about to concede and just take her before that final point. I know there's a better way to deal with that situation though...

TL;DR, I'm still a beta-noob RP in training, wife shit tests me by making me take the potty training kid to the bathroom all the time. Wife flat out refuses, stands her ground hard and I want suggestions on how to better deal with it.