Wall of Text: So I just joined MRP this week, it was suggested by someone in /r/Relationships after a post of concerns about my marriage. I know this is the right place for me to be.

I've always been a beta nice guy, never had luck with women, just 1 or 2 occasional lays per year since college. I discovered /r/seddit (now you see what I'm quickly in on MRP). Learned what I needed to learn and was soon bringing home a lady once a week. After a few months of this, I had met my now wife. The early part of our relationship was great, sex 3x a week, there were weddings to plan, honeymoons to go on, houses to buy and fix up. There were milestones in life that kept things interesting and kept us engaged. We have been married 2 years now (anniversary is Monday, we have dinner plans next Friday to celebrate, unsure if I should really get a gift since she is so disinterested in me at the moment).

Post honeymoon now and this year has been a stressful year for me. My employer has been struggling and I've had fears of them closing shop. I have interviewed a lot, some very successful interviews with good feedback, however no offers. Its taken a toll on my and caused a lot of stress and mild depression... and of course I have taken this home with me. My frame and attitude has not been a position of power, its been mopey and downtrodden. Not only have all alpha traits diminished, I’ve even let beta traits slip away as I’ve become depressed and lazy. Throughout this year I've seen the sex life diminish, for much of this year it was maybe once every 2 weeks. Now I haven't had sex in about a month and the wife won't even let me kiss her more than a peck or touch her in bed.

Two weeks ago we left for a weekend vacation and I brought my baggage with me (the depressed baggage). I was poor at communication, I didn’t lead or decide what we should do or eat, and worst of all I never engaged her physically in the hotel room. A day after we got back she left for another trip, she is a rowing coach and was going to be gone the entire week for multiple events. Another young male coach was with her on this trip.

She got back and something was different, she seemed more Alpha. She said she wanted to start rowing again herself (she hasn’t in a long time as she has recovered from a surgery and I just now feeling physically healthy). She told me of all the stories from her trip and what the team went and did while they were not at the events. Me in my depressed state was not engaged in the conversation and did not look enthused that she was back home. I gave short answers and comments, and described nothing that I did while she was away. She rowed that day with the other coach she just spent a week with (who I never heard of prior to this trip). She has since rowed with him every day that week.

Monday was a breaking point. Over dinner she says to me that I’m like talking to a wall, says I don’t care. She tells me that she is a competitive person and needs to be around other competitive people and that I’m not a competitive person, that I’m just meh. In my state I didn’t even know how to respond, she was just shitting all over me. I explained that I was in a funk from my stressful job environment. She then tells me to get a hobby, since I don’t do anything anymore.

Tuesday is when I discovered MRP, and I bought a bunch of books for my kindle and started reading MMSLP. I decided to go for a run when I got home, after my run she was home and preparing dinner. That night I was more talkative and engaged in conversation, though it did seem forced. She shit tested me and said “Why are you being weird” I had an awful response and said “I’m not being weird” and she stared at me and I followed up with “I just wanted to go on a run and feel better about myself” I’m clearly just showing signs of weakness now and I know that. I should have responded with “I’m always weird” or “Its fun being weird” and left it at that. She then dug into me more and shit tested me again, saying how I don’t care what she says and that I rolled my eyes at her the night before. I failed this comment as I said “I’m sorry” her response was “Come on, Stand up for yourself” I think this is my low point right here, I’m just doing nothing but DLV with every shit test she throws at me. The conversation continues into the bedroom, she breaks down crying and listing things I’ve done wrong for months, and that the house is a mess, and she can’t get everything done and is stressed etc… I tell her we are going to fix this, that I’m going to pull out of this funk, and leave work stress at work, and come home with a clear head, and start making improvements in my life to improve my attitude. Again I probably shouldn’t have ranted all of this, I should have just done it and not said anything.

Wednesday I didn’t even see her, she was going to meet up with a friend for drinks, then it turned into all the rowing coaches going for drinks including her new buddy. I didn’t sleep a wink that night, my own Hamster started telling me that she is cheating on me with this guy. In reality she is cheating as this guy is giving her attention and motivating her to better herself, he’s leading her, she has a new captain. I don’t think anything physical has escalated yet, but I could be wrong. I do know this guy has a girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean much, he could be in a bad relationship too, or just a player.

I went to the gym Wednesday night for the first time in years. It felt good. Thursday I decided to just be a little dominant and send my wife a text to tell her to take out steaks for dinner to defrost. When she got home we had some decent conversation, I believe I was less forced. After dinner I told her that we need to fold and put all the laundry away otherwise it will sit there, she complied. We went to bed, I tried giving a kiss goodnight, I got a peck and when I tried for a more serious kiss she told me to stop. She then said that she doesn’t want to be touched, and says that I don’t want to be touched (since when do I not want to be touched, probably because I haven’t been engaging recently) and that’s fine for sleep and to stay on my side of the bed.

Here we are on Friday, I went to the gym this morning as she went to go row. I’m posting this now. Tonight we have plans together to go to the local boat club for drinks and Reggae night. I will be calm, confident, and try to take a moment to think if she is shit testing me with anything she says. My goal tonight is to just get her up and dance with me. But she might say she is tired and flake before we even leave to the club. Tomorrow we have plans with another couple.

For me, I realize she may be already gone. At worst she has found a new captain and could cheat or leave me. At best, I improve myself and win back her affection before she makes that move. However it’s a long road, it could take me a year or more, and to sleep with someone else just takes her a few moments for her hamster to rationalize that decision. I’ll give short updates on this in the future.

TL;DR Life story, Betaized husband, wife in charge and getting affection from a new man recently, got shit tested all week and failed, joined this sub, joined a gym, going to start making improvements in my life for me, plan on giving updates in the future.