I was inspired by this and this to address the issue of discussion sex with our women.

Too many men are telling their wives they’re not getting enough sex, even doing it in frame, and finding what they think is success. Let me knock this solidly into your brain: you’re doing it wrong. You’re a pussy if you thinking discussing sex, even in frame, is going to result in anything hot, dripping, AND lasting.

Active dread and discussion can lead to higher quantity, but there is a ceiling in quality. What blasts through that ceiling like Wonka’s Elevator is passive dread, a.k.a., becoming awesome. There’s dozens of great posts on awesomeness, my favorites are here and here. This is why we broken-record the newbies to STFU and work on yourself.

Negotiating For Sex, a.k.a. Doing Dread Wrong, a.k.a. Abusing Your Newfound Power

You read a few sidebar books, enough to understand the basic theory and light a fire of righteous indignation under your fat ass. You start exercising, even lifting heavy, and go from 300 lbs to 285. You’re developing hobbies and man friends so you can check them off the Master MRP Self-Improvement List^tm. You’ve left the house a few times when she gives you the hard no, but most of the time you just go to another room and read.

So you think you’ve dropped enough beta to say something about your sexual needs. You tell her in no uncertain terms that you won’t take just her bare minimum anymore. You’re a husband who deserves sex with his wife, goddamit. You might say things like:

  • I deserve better from you

  • You should fuck me because we’re married

  • I don’t want to have sex with a woman who isn’t into it

It’s probably not a pretty conversation, but your bravado seems to leave an impact. Her beta is gaining some self-respect, she better up her game. She truly longs for an alpha husband… plus, she gets off on the drama of it all. You think, “Cool, that was easy. I’m The Man now. I communicated in my frame, and now she understands that she should fuck me more. Oh yeah. Red Pill accomplished.”

Here’s the problem. She’s still fucking you out of obligation. Sure, she might be temporarily aroused by your chest pounding, and she might even logically understand that husbands and wives should have sex. But SHE IS STILL NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. You simply cannot negotiate that.

I once foolishly told her, “I cheated on you because you ignored my need for sex.” My wife will NEVER give me a hard no because I said that. But that doesn’t mean she can’t get enough of my cock down her throat. It’s still starfish sometimes, and ya know what, I gotta deal with it until I’m attractive in my own right. I upped my negotiating power, but it’s still fucking negotiation.

Earning Good Sex, a.k.a. Passive Dread, a.k.a. Just Being Awesome

You read. You devour both sidebars. You start lifting, and not just fucking around the gym. You’re taking your fitness and diet seriously. You actively research hobbies you want to start, then you go out and fucking start them. You STFU about problems at work. You internalize that you are alone in this world, and it comforts you because you also internalize that you’re powerful enough to accomplish anything on your own.

You don’t need a supportive, loving wife by your side. You actually don’t pay her much attention, and you’re not obsessed about your sex life because you’re too busy becoming awesome. Your desire to jack off wanes, you start to feel invigorated and free from the shackles of a sexless marriage. She denies you? Fine, you have better things to do, so you go do them silently and cheerily. You have no conversations about sex.

You dive into your hobbies, you’re out of the house often, and when you’re at home you’re working on projects and staying off the game console. You own the shit out of housework like you’re single.

You’re casual and funny. You’re busy. You’re cocky. You’re awesome.

Your wife starts to take note of your absences. She’s seeing her BB transform into an AF, and on top of that he’s not mentioning sex. “What the hell is going on?! My husband isn’t a loser anymore. What if he’s getting some on the side? What if he’s prepping to leave? He’s too valuable to lose now. Other women will want him. Plus, he’s HOT.”

Guess what? She’ll start fucking you with abandon. It won’t happen as quickly as Option 1, but the results will fucking last. Sex will come from her own desire and it will be hotter. She’ll not only indulge in your fantasies but will come up with her own. You’ll do things to her you wouldn’t be able to dream of with Option 1.

The Fucking Conclusion

Your wife won’t let you do doggystyle? You’re not attractive enough.

Wife still shit tests you regularly, especially during sex? You’re not attractive enough.

Sex is still sometimes starfish, even though she seems to want to please you? You’re not attractive enough.

She asks for things in exchange for sex, like speaking her love language, being more romantic, doing more chores, or giving her more massages? You’re not attractive enough.

Sure, you can wrangle some decent sex out of her, and it might be good for awhile. Don’t fucking discuss these things with her. Be constantly awesome and quality, lifelong sex will follow.

When she, unprompted, offers to do that one fetish you mentioned way back in your beta years sloppy, enthusiastic blowjobs, you’ll know you’re starting to get it.

Editted a couple words