I'll try to make this brief. Father of multiple kids under 14, married 16 years.

Two years since swallowing the pill. Sexless marriage (1-2 max per month), fat, working at a job that wasn't paying the bills, classic overweight, drunk, anxious, beta baby. In two years I've dropped 57 lbs, exercising, joined a band, tripled my income. Read the sidebar materials, followed the plan... and it worked.

The last year has been amazing. Sex on demand, kinky sex. Slowly training myself to STFU and watching as she respected my transformation into a masculine man. But the first year after going RP was tough, as I had to really get through the anger phase after realizing how much of a boy I had become, and how shitty she had treated our life. I came to the slow realization that ALL of this was my fault. The anger phase was first directed toward her, but then was directed more internally. I realized it was my failure to lead in a positive direction which unfortunately led to a marriage on the edge of divorce. But like I said, year two has been amazing.

But in the last three months, the sex has started dwindling, and for the last month has been nearly absent. Here's where the anger is creeping back in.

In the last two months I've dropped another 10 lbs. I'm getting all sorts of attention from her friends. My band is doing well, and that has been bringing a little more attention as well. At a recent gig, I even overheard one chick telling my wife, "God if I was married to your husband I wouldn't let him out of the bedroom." My wife told me later that night that it was the second friend who had made such a comment. We banged hard that night. She went on about how f-ing hot I was up there playing, and how she couldn't control herself. Fast forward two weeks later at a NYE party. She pulls me out of the party and says, "I don't know what it is, but when I get you in public, I just want to get alone and screw." We did, snuck out of the party, hot animal freaking sex. It was wonderful. Fast forward two weeks later, similar deal, at a gig, she wants it, tells me how beautiful I am, etc and we have another great night.

But those have been the exceptions. She slowly started rejecting sex again. I might get starfish, but I'll only get passion after a night out. Yes, and after she's been drinking. All the shitty responses have started creeping back in, too. And she even had the freaking nerve to throw out the dreaded "Choreplay" comment again. Now, this is after I have been taking care of more shit than ever. So inside our home, she is becoming more and more closed off, while outside the house she's acting like the overly attached girlfriend.

So here I am, not resting on my laurels, still working hard, handling things, treating her and the kids well - but the situation has changed.

I try to practice OI, but this anger is reaching far deeper. I know how much I have improved and how I'm still improving, as a man, a husband, a father, a musician, an employee. I know there is still work to be done (always is), but it's really got me twisted up and I am becoming increasingly resentful. I looked at her last night, and just thought, "I'm so f-ing sick of this." Guys, I deeply love my wife and do not want anything but an awesome marriage. But I'm sitting there looking at her and thinking, "I'm not sure how much more of this I will tolerate. I'm doing this for me and for us, and she's going to lose me if she keeps this shit up." (And no, it's not just about the dwindling sex, she's also become less communicative, whinier, disrespectful to me in front of the kids, spending more time with work friends (after hours drinking).)

I don't like to ask for advice, but this has been going on long enough without getting better, and I fear it's getting worse. I thought I should hear from you tools.

TL;DR: What I was doing has been working, and I've been doing more of it, but now it's not working.