Use this thread to post your 60 DoD progress. Where are you succeeding? How will you maintain? Where are you failing? How will you persevere?

Quick disclaimer: for me to speak on how to account for, grow and accumulate wealth I'd be treading on ground already covered by those with solid expertise. There's no quicker way to get rich than to write a book on how to get rich. I have slogged through quite a lot of self-help myself on the subject so a quick search on Amazon can help with $$ specifics. I will include a few at the end that I found helpful that are outside the realm of MRP.

So with that in mind I'd like to focus on how you can go astray once you've committed to one woman and some thoughts on how to course correct. I've seen these scenarios pop up from time to time here.

And there are ALWAYS ways to take what you have already and how you can make it work for you, stretch further OR plug up any 'holes' in your wallet. Even if that hole is your attitude.

When you earn more/all, yet things aren't going right

1) King at work , jester at home.

Being a lawyer, doctor or high level I.T. manager doesn't mean a thing if at the end of the day you hand over your paycheck to your wife to do the accounting AND plan what to do with it and guide the family. "Gee I hope she lets me buy new pair of pants next week!"

2) You're married... or her dad?

Likewise if your wife is never involved in accounting for what she spends, then expect her to act and whine like a teenager to a parent with unlimited pockets. Ie. constant shit and fitness testing. She can end up controlling the spending from the back seat.

3) Worst of both worlds: I live to serve.

Meet my good friend from grade school. He's the best/model employee. The boss piles all the work on him and pays him shit for what he's worth. He does seem to enjoy the work and finds he gets a sense of fulfillment. He complains a little but you can tell it's what he's fine with because, again, it's fun and he enjoys it.

Until...

MUCH prodding from his wife he gets a higher paying job an hour commute away. He makes a little more, but hates the work, now has no time to spend with his friends and the small amount extra he is making is eaten up by her increased spending (due to that fancy new job).

Methods of Improvement

In this situation you may have an exasperated moment with yourself. You've got control, you've just willingly surrendered it to her. Reminds me of this seen from Swingers .

It could be a simple as rerouting your paycheck, splitting accounts and laying down the new budget and game plan (some here actually give their sahm's cash in envelopes).

Learn to balance a checkbook for starters and take over responsibility for paying bills, find out where you're hemorrhaging funds. Even if you rake in the bucks, it doesn't entitle her to any more than your family can afford or arguably where you see it fitting with your family plan.

I had a mixture of the above going on pre-RP. While your wife may smile and verbally support your goals if they are to one day retire early (if at all) or run a fulfilling business, you can't expect her to have the same emotional investment in your employment freedom. My wife's nest stays intact whether I plan well for retirement and actually retire or die at my desk leaving her enough in insurance to see her through the rest of her life. While she may be happy seeing more come in, she's not as inclined to do so if it comes at a risk or even some intangible happiness for you. It's not personal... it's her programming.

You earn less/none

Two sides one coin

Side 1: I never wanted to be boss, but I didn't realize what a worthless turd he was

This situation tends to have a limited shelf life. A woman like this is poised herself to swing to a higher branch already.

I worked with an I.T. contractor who as a broke ass college student met her future , much older successful husband. While dating and early marriage he started semi-to completely funding her college career. She goes on to get a masters and PHD in computer science. Shortly after she graduates and starts a consulting company specializing in a field with little competition (and decent sized gov't contracts) he is laid off.

She is making plenty of money locally in a small market so "they" decide he has to turn down offers where they would have to relocate. He voluntarily starts making less money decisions or having input because "he doesn't feel like he's contributing enough". Eventually she has an affair with the owner of a company she was contracting for, and when caught...says "fuck it and you" and leaves to branch swing higher. His lack of self-worth was contagious. Even though any outside observer could see he made most of her career possible as she would have run out of money before getting her PHD and making some key contacts.

Side 2: Delegated earning

One of my college friends has been a S.A.H.D. for over 10 years now. He received a severance after a company buyout that was lucrative enough for him to stay at home and raise their kids while young. His kids take up less and less of his time, but he has no need or plans to go back to work. His wife is a VP at database tech company. My wife has met him on occasion and refers to him as "totally arrogant". Or , how we'd see it : he is cocky/confident and still wears the pants. His wife defers to him publicly. It doesn't matter how much she earns... you can tell having a weak man would be an embarrassment.

In today's world we find a mix of spousal earning. But I'd like to go on record saying: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO MAKES MORE MONEY.

YOU still lead with your expectations that fit your map. I've known of a few broke players who funded their life with support from their rich ladies.

Final thoughts on finance

At the core: Who do you want in charge of your financial future?

The person interested in maintaining status quo and safety at all costs with your happiness and satisfaction a secondary or minor consideration? Or you?

If you've learned anything here it's that you need to be a captain. Putting your wife in the family alpha role breeds contempt and most of the problems that brought your here. Besides control of sex, family MONEY decision veto power is the key indicator of who is wearing the pants.

Recent personal experience: I was actually a victim of thinking I could dial back on set expectations due to a vacation. Some recent argumentative blow-back made it clear that now I had firmly established the leadership role, any time I tried to fly blind or let us "wing it in the spirit of vacation" it sent her into a panic. To keep the peace I gave her a set amount. She literally argued for me to give her a spending limit.

A few links

Classic rp post from a financial planner I found inspiration on [wealth accumulation] ( https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3hzcvn/financial_advice_from_a_financier/ )

If you don't know where to start at budgeting MINT might work for you.

He's a bit of a clown but I'm a big fan of Cramer , while not always right, he is inspirational and I found some value in his books for the stock market. Also on stocks : Seeking Alpha

Crazy ass read on how penny pinching you can get, and surprisingly full of still relevant tips and tricks: The Tightwad Gazette.

Reddit's PERSONAL FINANCE sub.