Expanding my response on another thread...

/u/jacktenofhearts has suggested that the MRP journey occurs in certain phases:

  1. Stop Operating in Her Frame
  2. Build Your Own Frame
  3. Your Wife is Operating In Your Frame

MRP provides a number of tools for improving yourself and moving your wife into a more productive direction, and that's what Phase 1 and 2 are about. There are many reasons that your wife may stay (or fuck you); some are healthy and some are not. After you've gone through anger and DNGAF, you likely will reach one of the following outcomes:

  1. You fail your MAP and go back to the blue pill.
  2. You are leading, but she doesn't follow.
  3. You are leading, and she is only following out of fear, obligation, whatever.
  4. You are leading, and she is a happy participant that reflects the new you.

The goal, of course, is to land at outcome 4, but the process isn't a smooth progression. MRP is a marathon with lots of stops and starts, full of mistakes, shit tests, and main events. You start by working on yourself, building your frame, and inviting her in, but she still holds this image of the old you. It's up to her to cross that threshold and update her mental model -- and that takes time.

So we get these guys who come in after 2 months or 6 months, with a story about the latest setback, and how they've raised their Dread, they DNGAF, and she's just not responding to their awesome frame. They want advice on how to proceed, and get a chorus of answers... including hard line advice as if they were still in Phase 1 or 2.

At some point, they have to decide if there really is a chance that they'll achieve a better outcome, or is outcome 2 or 3 the end game for this marriage. If so, does she brings enough value and satisfaction at this point, or does her poor behavior or lack of engagement mean that it's time to pull the ripcord?

Dread is a great tool for establishing a higher SMV and shaking her up, but should you keep applying it after six months or a year just to keep her compliant? Is constant negative reinforcement (loss of affection, fear of divorce, religious guilt, etc) the only way you'll have a workable marriage? Sure, you're getting sex and you have the power, but it only lasts as long as you maintain the tension. I'm thinking of Cad here -- he argued that he was pretty happy and his marriage worked, but it was a fragile situation where he was making assumptions about his wife, while keeping her at arm's length about his own proclivities.

Frankly, I'm the sort of man who wouldn't settle for less than 4. If my marriage isn't working at an emotional level, then I don't want to go through the motions. For others, especially those coming from much worse situations (or who have more to lose), that sort of outcome may still be palatable.