Your woman's most wonderful gift: The Epic Test.

I wrote the something nearly a year ago in this post, and lately I’ve been thinking about it more as I see men struggle in the intermediate stages of MRP. As I read through OYS for the last few weeks I see lots of men that have been “stuck” in MRP for some time and not making progress. Years even. I think it is because you have not recognized the largest shit test that is MRP and changed your mental models to pass it.

Passing this shit test is not a combination of STFU, AA, AM, DNGAF, or Fogging. It can’t be learned from WISNIFG. It comes from reading and INTERNALIZING the sidebar and as a result living and breathing the simple act of becoming your own mental point of origin. Rollo did a pretty good job of describing what this is, but I also think there is another final step to getting the kind of relationship that some men here desire.

This is what I wrote:

For those struggling with validation… Not a single time did I get encouragement from her. Not a single bit of praise. Not a mention of anything that would resemble a wife who is proud of or to be with her husband. Not a single comment on my physique, style, new haircut, sexual position, or attitude. Nothing.

And I still haven’t heard her say a nice thing once about any of my changes.

This is the marathon, epic shit test. If there was an Ironman for shit testing, this would be it.

This is your woman’s ultimate test of congruence. Are you as awesome as you really believe you are? As you say you are? Are you as great as your AA and AM responses claim you are? Or is it entirely still bullshit? Only you know. No one here can tell you the answer to that question. But if you’re still stuck… you’re probably still full of shit.

Your Ego, it shall not pass:

That is the underlying theme I keep finding here in OYS. /u/RstonePT answered one of the most fundamental questions at a talk once: What is the most common problem that men at MRP have when they arrive?. . Ego. Your fucking ego.™ Until you admit that you’ve been full of shit and full of yourself, you will never pass this shit test. It’s just not possible. It’s only after you break your then known self into rubble that you will be able to rebuild a man that you are proud of.

There is a reason you came to MRP, and it certainly wasn’t that you were proud of the man you are.

You don't end up here because your life is going great... specifically because you feel like your marriage is not working in some capacity to varying degrees of extreme.

We all came here because deep down, in the place that hurts the most, where you are most vulnerable and will not let even your own thoughts go – that place is an awful place to be. It hurts there. It’s painful to visit. It is a place that we tell ourselves lies in order to avoid. It’s a place that we fear.

Let’s presume for the rest of this post you’ve managed to destroy that first ego. What then?

Then you must let go of another layer of EGO, again:

Fuck, does this ego thing ever end? Short answer - no. Never.

As you lift, sidebar, read, STFU, learn how to pass shit tests, fuck your wife fairly well, and get random IOI’s from beautiful women other than your woman… your woman still appears clueless to your changes. You continue to build resentment against her for not seeing your changes. This is simply ANOTHER layer of ego that you must shed: you are the dreaded dancing monkey.

As a dancing monkey you will never get to your own mental point of origin – by definition a monkey is doing it for someone else, not himself.

So what to do here? Your woman isn’t going to appear to notice any of your changes anyways, so why do you even care what she does or thinks? Oh, I know why. Because you’ve spent more time inside of her head instead of the sidebar. Back to class, young man.

You’ll likely build resentment overtime for her lack of approval which is a step in the process most men go through. This is all part of her masterful plan and beautiful test to get you to your own mental point of origin.

The Final Step:

If your journey is anything like mine, it was full of what I now recognize as nonsense. I heard things like: I liked you better when you were fatter. I don’t like muscular men. I wish you wouldn’t spend as much time in the gym. You can cheat a little tonight on desert. You’re selfish. You don’t think about anything but yourself EVER or the kids anymore. On and on and on.

We all recognize them as shit tests in the moment. But what you likely didn’t realize is that those shit tests – focused on capitalizing your time or demeaning your progress - are about your progress – lifting, reading, STFU. She will pretend to be clueless about how awesome you are becoming. She will cast a web of doubt and hope that you fall into it. Meanwhile, all of your friends, family and coworkers are saying how great you look – how much more energetic you’ve become – how much happier you seem – yet, you hear nothing of the sort from your woman. In fact, you hear the opposite the entire time.

Why does she do this?

Most would answer here that it’s because she wants to put her little beta-boy back in his box. I can agree with that. But it’s also because she wants to protect her own SMV. If she ever admitted you were better than her, it would require her to admit that there has been a power shift in the dynamics of the relationship where you start to hold the cards of your own outcome. Until now, she has controlled that outcome and needed to do little to keep her SMV up. Now that you’re starting to show promise, or in fact have great promise that she secretly knows about – she will deploy every manipulative tactic in her arsenal to protect her own ego against the truth.

The truth? You are becoming a high value man.

Instead, as you pass those tests and improve you own mental point of origin, she will silently hamster everything away to continually protect her ego.

But here is where most men stall. They do not understand that the progress that you’re making is invigorating her hamster to test in even more manipulative and creative ways. The tests become harder and you start to question your own progress. “Doesn’t she think I’m an attractive man? Can’t she see it?”

When you ask yourself one of those questions – you’ve already lost. She is still your mental point of origin, and you will never break free of her web of doubt to be your own judge. Therefore most men stall here. You are not your own judge and still seeking validation. You MUST push through this.

This is why we hate “she” statements in OYS. It shows us that your thoughts do not begin (mental point of origin) and end (no dancing monkey) with you.

Having this shift in the power dynamic is not something that will happen easily for her. It requires her to kill her ego entirely about who she is – in the same way that you were required to kill your own. It will not die easily. Her ego dies when her judgement is meaningless to you and you are a high value man – your judgement of who you are should win in all cases because that is the masculine direction that she seeks in her life. Without that self-judgement, you are not worth following. Knowing that your way, even if you consider her thoughts (and perhaps feelz) on the matter and recalibrate as necessary from understanding a valid test – will your masculine judge be the authority to govern YOU. Your actions. Your feelings of yourself. She does not possess this masculine gift of direction and she will always look to you or another high value man as a sense of her own self worth and direction. She is afterall, a little girl at heart that feelz warm and fuzzy from the approval of a man she admires and respects.

The question is, do you believe you are that man who is his own mental point of origin?

If so, you will no longer be angry at her epic shit test. It will be a meaningless test that no longer serves your growth. She never wanted to influence your idea of who you are, and until you can congruently show this through your actions will she never relent and submit her ego to this powerful masculine force that is who you are.

Why is this a wonderful gift?

I really believe that this is a greatest test of all time, and it’s a gift from your woman. She has the ability to test you to the ends of the earth on the three hardest concepts that we speak to here at MRP: Mental Point of Origin is required for Outcome Independence, and is not possible as the Dancing Monkey while your ego is involved. This epic test has been so beautifully crafted as a gift to you so that you might pass it… and you know what? She WANTS you to pass this test. She desires in the darkest parts of who she is as a woman for you to fucking crush this and make yourself a man of high value. This woman has likely been on your team all along.

Why? Because women are solipsistic and… this test, pass or fail, serves her.

Beyond the epic test - Dominance, submission and her dark desires:

MRP is broken into a couple of different camps on this next thought process. Some think it’s not worth the effort and can create negative feedback loops – and while I agree that this can create more behaviors that could feed the Dancing Monkey, I think it’s also possible that it doesn’t if you hold the frame and worldview similar to the one I’ll describe here.

Even after men have found their own mental point of origin, I still see them stuck. They simply do not express their Outcome Independence for these (often) useless tests like a man would. And furthermore, they do not know how to covert this acute awareness of their own frame to be the leading frame of the relationship – but more importantly, how to convert this frame into one that feeds a creates positive feedback loops for a submissive woman.

This is where some disagree it’s “too much work”. For me and my worldview the work has been worth it. This is where I diverged from a lot of people here and chose to live in a formal D/s relationship. There were a lot of contributing factors to that decision and journey – but I chose D/s because it was what was best for me, long term. She is a reflection of me, so this is what serves her as well.

I think this is accomplished – surprise – by actions. Over time your actions become more congruent to your frame and your mental point of origin about yourself and as she adopts YOUR worldview of yourself as a high value man, you can feed the submissive woman by making sure that her mental point of origin becomes YOU. That is what a submissive woman is afterall. A woman who looks to you for all approvals.

You allow and encourage her to openly seek validation from you and grow her through praise. The feminine grows through praise. If you want an extremely submissive woman you must be willing to take on the leadership required to make sure you are at her center of most thoughts and approvals. She looks to you for a validation tool of her own self-worth and you are the one trusted person in this world that she gives the gift of submission to.

If you want to have a woman living so extremely within her submissive and feminine frame, you must be able to live within this dynamic knowing it will require you to live within your dominant and masculine frame in polarity.

Living in vary degrees of this polarity of relationship doesn't require full submission such as a formal D/s arrangement, but I think the more you adopt this frame as two people together – the closer you get to that type of informal relationship dynamic. It's all a matter of what YOUR frame is, and how it serves you. She serves you as an opposite (polarity) to that established frame.

I think this is a true unexplored area of MRP. If her focus and thoughts are centered on you – what can you do to best influence the enrichment of your vision and mission? And yes, that’s highly manipulative which you both will be aware of, openly. But is that such a bad thing if it creates a worthwhile and worthy life for that woman and you? I do not think so. But be wary – the responsibility is more than what most men would likely want to take on. It’s not for everyone, but you give it as a gift of who you are in exchange for her gift of submission. This is the mutual cycle of effortless gifting.

Use it to varying degrees in your own relationship and determine if this is something you wish to honor as a gift in her dark desires.

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Why was this test important for me? This beautiful test was for her submission and my dominance both mentally and physically all along. This was a test of polarity that serves her in the relationship, and you in the world.