How to Out-Alpha an Alpha Wife?
8 upvotes | May 30, 2018 | by newtomap
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I'm pretty new to the MAP outlined in MMSLP and it focuses a lot on
the Captain/First Officer dynamic. Taking a hard look at my marriage,
it very much seems like my wife is the Captain and I am the FO. Any
decision I make that contradicts her preconceived plans or thoughts is
outright shot down. Example: Her: I want x to eat tonight (and you
will be paying for it and picking it up and bringing it home to me).
Me: I don't want to do that. I would rather cook y instead. Her:
-Guilt trip, reasons why she deserves the food, bad mood if she
doesn't get it.

I either acquiesce and she is happy and thankful, or I refuse still
and she is passive aggressive, gives me the silent treatment, and
brings up the fact that I denied her that food she wanted for weeks to
come.

It's this way for basically all decisions. I have my input and she
factors that into her decision but her decisions are final. She won't
guilt/pressure me to do things like go shopping with her but other
things she knows I dislike, like me driving us multiple hours to an
amusement park with her family and wasting a bunch of money then me
driving us the same distance back, she will force the issue and say
that's happening and that's final.

How do I break out of this dynamic? It says in MMSLP that most women
have a submissive streak, but if my wife has one, I have yet to see
it. Because of this, my confidence in fighting her on these issues is
near nonexistent. If she truly does not have any Submissiveness in her
then all fighting her on this will do is weaken the relationship.
Also, pressure to "be a good husband and make her happy" makes me
wonder if it's even right to fight her on things like that. I know the
MAP is all about balance but I am not experience enough in Alpha
traits to know when to assert my wants and needs and when to pick my
battles and let her have that decision. Any thoughts/help on this
would be greatly greatly appreciated. Thanks!
 
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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/204425