Update on the "grab the lube" outburst.
13 upvotes | July 13, 2017 | by dirtyelmopuppet
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This is an update to my first post in the subreddit which you can read
here
[https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6g389g/started_5_months_ago_fucked_up_big_time_last/].
For the most part I have implemented shut the fuck up and that has
helped but I did decide to go monk mode as some suggested. I’ll have
to say that has been very successful.

Quickly, what has happened since then is for about a week to ten days
following my outburst she pouted. I got a lot of “How could you ruin
our marriage bringing something up from the past?”, “You lied to
me all these years”, etc. I just weathered each emotional outburst
with a stare and a nod of the head and “I understand” every once
and awhile. I was also friendly and happy during all of this. The ten
day pout session guaranteed me a surefire celibacy period. I was
worrying about how to implement a monk mode without going into a lot
of explanation but by shutting up and being patient it took care of
itself. As she wound down the end of the pouting, it happened to end
just as I had a three day work related seminar out of town. She was
scheduled to go but she had worked up a head of steam and in a fit
cancelled her flight to join me on the second day. We were scheduled
to stay an additional two nights. She did not like it but I would not
book her another flight (bitch move or lesson on making decisions
while angry?). She could have bought her a new ticket but she would
have had to pay for it out of her discretionary money...she did not
have enough. I went without her and stayed the additional two nights.
Spent a lot of time reading and walking and thinking. It really helped
me to re-evaluate things. When I came back she was appalled that I was
willing to go without her so cue another pout session. So that has
carried me through to this past weekend. This past weekend she began
to worry why I had not initiated. I guess the monk mode turned into
low level dread. Who knows. I have determined that she is completely
off her rocker. Three days now she has initiated and the first two
times I responded and basically fucked like we were teenagers. The
third time she offered we got into it and the starfish made a return
and I immediately stopped. Kissed her goodnight and grabbed a book and
read. All of you are very familiar with the reaction that followed I
am sure. The next morning she apologized and I hugged her. Never said
a word. The last two days she’s been playful and texting little
messages to me. So there is where I am.

ME: I have determined the comment about her affair was a huge covert
contract. That in my head I was trying to prove myself better than
him. Fuck it. He only got what she gave him. I think I wanted to
believe he had some special power over her but in reality she’s
responsible for the decision to cheat not him. Regardless, of any
issues between us. I think that was my “come to Jesus” moment. I
can get up and walk out the door and never look back. Maybe she senses
that now I don’t know. I truly do not care. I am losing the weight
and replacing fat with muscle everyday. I am becoming a better man
inside and out every day.

I continue to read. I continue to lift. I continue to own my shit. I
continue to lead. But more importantly, I review my day with a very
honest and critical eye and pinpoint where I need to get better at all
of these things. I prefer to spend my remaining days on this earth
with my wife. I have no idea if it will be that way.

Aside: I appreciate the advice from you guys. Especially, the private
messages. Even the ones from the little fat lesbian troll. Those
helped me hone my internet “cred”. I was really surprised at how
good I got at trading insults with it. Very creative stuff if I say so
myself. And I started on the Gotu Kola. Too early to see results but
I’ll keep you updated.
 
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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/205878