Initiating leads to wife feeling guilty
15 upvotes | January 17, 2017 | by stew7000
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I've made sweeping changes over the course of the past couple months
after 10 yrs of beta. Went from sleeping in to waking up and lifting 6
days a week (reading on day 7) at 5:30am, reading has replaced
addictive phone use, on top of things around the house, working
outside the home on a schedule, doing guy stuff with friends on a
schedule and randomly to get out of the house. My wife is beginning to
see me as the leader and knows that I'm not just on a "kick" but that
this is real. That said, I initiate almost every day and get the hard
no every time except once per week on the day we've generally set
aside for sex. The latest attempt (and what I'm looking to you guys
for help with) was last night and after the hard NO she said she goes
to bed feeling guilty every night. In this case I STFU and went to
bed, not angrily - just calmly and without being butt hurt as I've
done each time I get rejected (either that or do something different
or even leave the house - but haven't shown butt hurt emotion like I
used to). How do I work with this guilt she is having? Does this mean
things are working? I know she realizes she's lost her "I outwork you"
card that I now own and won't let go of (I do tons of work around the
house, help with kids, work out regularly, etc that's what I mean by
outworking her) and I think this may be where her guilt comes. Her old
response would have been, you're disgusting, you don't do anything to
deserve sex - and now that those excuses are slipping away from her,
guilt has set in for her. Need some help interpreting this and more
importantly what to do next.
 
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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/206643