Get Busy! (Absence for Noobs: You might be doing it wrong)
20 upvotes | November 28, 2016 | by logger1234
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Some of us, especially early after discovering the pill (but not
internalizing it yet), tend to see RP tenants through BluePill eyes.
This is especially true with building dred through absence,

EXAMPLE

A recent MRP post included this gem:

"I plan to keep my distance from her for the rest of the week. But
does that just show more butthurt? or should I act like I don't care
what she said and continue as normal."

Keeping absent because she hurt your feelings or rejected you is a
feminine technique. We're trying to become better men and more
masculine. Of course it shows butthurt!

BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID BE ABSENT?

Absence is fine if you _actually have things to do._ Especially things
that add value to your life and especially your family by extension.

So replace Demonstration of Low Value (DLVs like sitting on the couch
watching TV, or playing video games) with High Value Activities.

Sometimes, to the noob, coming up with things to do is hard. Our whole
world revolves around her. So here are some options:

 	*
Walk the dog

 	*
Feed the dog

 	*
No dog? Get a dog

 	*
Lift

 	*
Not a member of a gym? Join a gym

 	*
Build your home gym from home

 	*
Measure your weight on a scale

 	*
No scale? Buy a scale!

 	*
Go out and buy new clothes. Money is a problem? Go Thrift-store
shopping. (You can get weights cheap too.) Ask if she wants anything
on your way out.

 	*
Do something active with your kids. Don't just take 'em to the park,
teach 'em a new game. For little ones, I spy. For older ones, ice
skating. Unique Experiences.

 	*
Rake the yard / Mow the Lawn / Prune Trees

 	*
Go read a book on improvement by yourself in a different room

 	*
The Home Improvement Project you've been putting off

 	*
Run to the store to get something for the project (Just don't go 8
times per day and look like you can't plan.)

 	*
No project? Get a project. Painting is reasonably easy.

 	*
Clean your personal space. Stop being a slob.

 	*
Home repair. Replace burned-out light bulbs. Fix broken things.

 	*
Winterize the lawn mower. Get the snow blower out of storage. Get the
shovels out of storage and some ice melt.

 	*
Wash the car or Change the oil in the car.

 	*
Cook yourself a snack or meal. No, not microwave soup. Nothing
processed. If you have no skills, make a grilled cheese sandwich, or
better yet, BLT. No bacon or tomato? Run to the store.

 	*
Go shooting. (No gun? Buy a rifle. Wimp? Get a .22 bolt action.)

 	*
Go for a walk

DON'T GET CONFUSED - SITTING AROUND IS DLV.

It doesn't matter if you are reading sidebar on your notebookPC,
reading askMRP or putting together a family budget, it sure looks like
screwing around on the internet. If you want to work on those things,
do them in private, on your lunch break, etc.

EXAMPLE:

_Ordering_ parts for your private gym on amazon? DLV

_Building_ a private gym that arrived in the mail? DHV

OUT OF SCOPE:

This examples here are not social, they are not a hobby that builds
value (besides home improvement and maybe the rifle). Of course, Once
you have actually done something, schedule some guy time. Coffee or
breakfast is easy. Then consider a social event, etc. 12 steps of dred
will help you here.

The point of these is to get noobs in the habit of being busy, of
getting things done for themselves, not to please someone else, and to
kill sloth and slobbery. Of course you should think about your
mission, etc, but sometimes, you just need motion to create some
inertia.

CONCLUSION AND THE PUNCHLINE:

Become a better man. Stop screwing around and _get busy_.

If you do that, you will naturally implement absence and STFU. But it
will be the right kind of absence and STFU "I want to get the leaves
done by ten so I can have time to lift before lunch" - covertly
pointing out the argument is taking you away from things worth doing -
if you bother to say it at all.

CHALLENGE:

Find 5 things you can just do that are worth doing. Post them here.
 
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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/206835