LTR 2yr; she just asked for space
8 upvotes | November 30, 2015 | by Trpwanderer
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tldr; LTR of two years just asked for space, saying she doesn't feel
she took enough time to just be single after getting divorced. We
started dating right after both of us divorced.

She says she is feeling smothered and doesn't have time to miss me
since we see each other all the time. This is true and I have backed
off some.

Another man started texting her a few weeks ago and she told me when
it started. (She does have past male friends she stays in contact
with). It was just some casual stuff. It eventually escalated to him
asking her out. She declined saying she was seeing someone. She told
me about it. I may not have handled it well and was upset saying I
didn't feel comfortable with him texting her and flirting with her
when he was interested, and didn't want her going to movie with him. I
was upset she even let it get that far. Maybe she was seeking
validation. Should I have just held her and thanked her for how she
handled it telling him she was with someone and then tell her I trust
her?

Well anyway, he persisted and asked her to go for a walk about a week
later, and she went with him. She told me about it later that night.

I probably didn't handle that well either and was upset about it. She
says they are just friends and he is a nice guy and that men and women
should be able to be friends and that she's not romantically
interested in him.

She has a lot of work stress and other financial stress and says she
wants a chance to be independent.

She says she's confused and feels numb. She says she has no interest
in dating anyone else, just wants time to get her feelings back for
me. I want to try and save relationship. She keeps being sort of hot
and cold, missing me, but then not wanting me and not receptive to
advances saying it doesn't feel right now. It's been a couple weeks.
When I push for it she says it makes her frustrated I'm not respecting
her. How do I address?

I have read some side bar materials, MMSLP, RM1 and RM2, and others,
including NMMNG. Have been lurking and reading red pill related boards
for last month. And have been exercising and am in good shape. The
NMMNG recommends giving to SO to learn about you, should I share this
with her?

I am a Nice Guy, just figured this out, and is probably why ex-wife
left as I let her walk all over me in retrospect.

How much space do I give, and how do I do this? Do I just tell her if
she wants to be in long term relationship with me that going for walks
with other men is not acceptable. I think she'll balk at that. It just
doesn't feel appropriate to me for her to do this, although I've
probably been wishy washy about it being upset about it. Or do I just
go no contact and see how she responds.

Or just tell her I don't care if she goes for walks with other men
since I trust her and love her and am confident she can keep it
platonic. And then I'll start doing same.

I am not interested having plates, I just feel wired to have and
maintain an LTR.
 
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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/207857