I had a baby! 37 upvotes | April 14, 2017 | by Kittenkajira ------------------------- She's really cute and cuddly! She was born at home on 3/29 at 3 in the morning after 7 hours of active labor - a ten pounder! I was very prepared for labor, and had everything we needed for the baby and a bunch of frozen meals. But no one really warned me how hard the recovery would be! (Or maybe they did, and I just didn't listen.) She's 2 weeks old and I'm just starting to feel better and do things around the house. I needed stitches and couldn't sit until like the fifth day. Had to learn to breastfeed lying down, which was no easy feat! It was two days before I was strong enough to shower. We've had a couple of spats where I lost my shit and embarrassed myself. But even in the midst of postpartum hormones I managed not to say hurtful things and apologized. Neither of us were expecting me to be out of commission for so long. At one point he was like "I just want my wife back", which made me really sad. I've made sure he was included in all the baby stuff from the start. He thought he'd have to fight me for diaper duty, but he ended up changing all the diapers for the first few days! She loves to cuddle with him. I pump a little milk before going to sleep so that he can feed her when she wakes up in the night. And he's done all the laundry since she was born and nothing has been ruined. Things I've learned so far: * Have a postpartum doula (or some form of in-home help) set up for the first few days at least, preferably the first week. They can help with housework, figuring out baby stuff, and breastfeeding. You don't know if you're going to have an easy or hard recovery until after you give birth, so better to be set up just in case. * We haven't used the crib yet. For much of the first two weeks she slept with one or both of us. Then we tried out the crib and she just wasn't having it. So we bought a rock n play and put it next to the bed. I'd buy used and cheap for whatever sleeping device you're going to get, if any. You or your baby may end up hating it. * You're going to hurt the baby at least once... They're pretty hardy. My husband accidentally ran her forehead into the bottom of a cabinet. And I knocked her head on a door. Just don't freak out. If the baby is acting normal after you calm it down, chances are it's fine. * Dads are a lot rougher with babies than moms are, and that's fine. Remember that they have instincts as well. She was only a week or so old when he started swinging her around in the air. Just walk away if you can't handle it. * You don't need very many baby clothes. Most people overdress their infants. We only dress her for sleep and for going places, and even then it's just one layer. It's easy to keep a baby's body temperature steady if you keep body contact with them. The majority of the clothes we bought were too small! Instead of a ton of clothes just get like 10,000 diapers - you're going to need those more. * Get a couple of baby wearing devices like slings, wraps, etc. Don't buy girly ones so that your husband can use them too. So far we like the ring sling the most. ------------------------- Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/208994