I tried faking high value, at the end I hit it hard. I just realized it
151 upvotes | March 2, 2019 | by PotatoWatt
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Up until I was 19 I had almost no friends and never had any social
encounter at all, never.

I learn about TRP, joined a gym, learned social basics, etc, I felt
good.

I joined college last year, was having the time of my life, I felt
awesome cause I had found TRP and was for the first time I remember
skinny. I was meeting friends everywhere, striking up conversations
everywhere, meeting girls, was having a blast.

A couple weeks in I had my ever first girl in love with me, she was
DM'ing me left and right, she was super down for it. I kinda realized
it but at the same time I was like 'nah man, this is too easy, this
cant be it' but I kept playing my cards.

Then we had a movie meetup with her and a few mutual friends and lo
and behold without me even realizing we were in my dorm room and she
was in my bed, putting on a movie.

This was the first time reality hit me, I portrayed the high value
male up until here but this was the ultimate test, I failed it
miserably. I pussied out and didnt make a move. She lost interest in
me and dropped me.

From this point onward until now, I had hit a wall but couldnt explain
what happened, why did I pussy out? It was so easy, what happened? So
I just kept trying to figure why it happened

After a year of surfing the waves of partying and having fun and
studying but never approaching a girl cause I was afraid the same
thing would happen I had a blast but always with that thought of being
a virgin always present in the back of my head.

CONCLUSION:

After all this time I fnally realized, I have been faking high value
instead of actually internalizing it. Now I realize that learning that
girls dont really love you, just the feeling you give them. And that
life isnt the beta dream I always was thinking it was is just hitting
me hard.

Bottom point is, how can I really get high value? Im at the gym
getting gains, im going to fix my teeth, got a dope haircut, bla bla,
but this is only external. What can I do for the internal? Every word
that comes out of my mouth is searching for validation, every time. I
always say things that make me the guy on top of the world, and people
get tired of talking to me because of this and I dont even realize it.
What can I do about it?

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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/220553