First Approach
73 upvotes | May 10, 2019 | by mathmanguy
-------------------------
Hi everyone,

Yesterday I did my first cold approach. I am a little concerned
because I discovered quite a bit about myself after the fact, and I
would like some outside insight.

I had attempted to do this at least twice before yesterday, where I
would drive to the mall to just approach a single girl. I found it
inexplicably difficult to do, and I had really been trying to figure
out why. I bailed both times, but yesterday I locked eyes with this
girl walking with her friend for probably 2-3 seconds and I just said
"fuck it".

The interaction was obviously awkward, which I was expecting,
especially with her friend standing right there. I set out to get
rejected, and that's fine. She told me she had a boyfriend and I
thanked her for her time. My concern comes without how exhausting the
whole interaction felt after the fact. I genuinely cannot even fully
remember the interaction, and I can't even remember her face. I was so
stressed out during those moments, I couldn't speak clearly or
remember what I intended to say. At first, when I was finished, I was
incredibly happy and proud of myself for facing my fear, but today I
wake up just feeling exhausted at the thought of having to do this
again, let alone "hundreds" of times over the course of a year as I've
read in many posts.

I wanted to approach 1 girl every day for a month (with no
expectations, just to do something uncomfortable), but I just realize
now that this is not possible and exhausting in my current mindset
(self worth/respect).

TLDR: How can I go about building confidence in myself and start
loving myself to make this easier for me, knowing I have this
insecurity about myself, that I can't approach women easily, that I'm
not the best with women. High school and later life (TRP too)
conditioned me to value men and view MEN as those who can get pussy
more than those who can't, and especially those who are good at it.
All the while, I want to value myself for being ME, as I am, and also
being able to get pussy because that leads to a healthy life and good
time. I just feel out of my element, and uncomfortable in my skin.

Edit: I’m getting so many replies I can’t respond to them all.
I’m seriously grateful, I hope this can help someone else out in the
future. I think I’m starting to internalize, even after the first
approach that it isn’t as big of a deal as I make it out to be. I
can just say hi, to whomever, and see what happens. That is what will
be different next time.

-------------------------
Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/237939