Cheap Sunglasses
1540 upvotes | August 18, 2019 | by Self-honest
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I used to only buy expensive sunglasses. Oakleys, Ray Bans, Maui Jims
etc.

I would buy one pair at a time, and every. single. time. something bad
would happen to them.

One pair broke. One pair was stolen. One pair got sat on. One pair got
scratched up.

Every time I would get angry as I felt the financial impact of my poor
decisions, fuck ups and shitty luck. Sometimes a pair had been
discontinued and I would never see them again.

I loved and lost pair after pair. The brutal cycle seemed infinite.

Then one day, when I had lost my latest pair, I was at a festival and
someone handed me a cheap pair of promotional sunglasses.

Suddenly I saw the world through brand new lenses.

I took the new shades home. Wore them in my car. Tossed them across
the room with reckless abandon. I scratched them, and didn’t care.
This was great!

I did not care. Not caring was nice. I fell in love with not caring.

Then one day I wore them out to party. I had a blast. I was relaxed
with nothing to worry about.

I woke up the next morning and my glasses were gone. Oh well...
wait... what is that??

That horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach came back. I had grown
attached to this pair just like the old.

I thought I had found the solution to rid myself of this pain and
anxiety. What could I do?

MY sunglasses I loved so much were gone. I could fix this.

So I went online and found myself another cheap pair of wayfarers and
all was good in the universe - or so I thought.

Then the first time I went out drinking, I felt a concern to protect
my sunglasses. Why wouldn’t this feeling go away???

Somebody would pick them up off the counter and put them on, I would
get angry and protective. But these were cheap sunglasses, what gives?
I thought I didn’t care.

One time someone put them on and broke them. I was irrationally mad.

Then it hit me. I should buy multiple pairs! That way if anything
happens to one pair, I would always have a backup.

I bought multiple pairs of the same style and things got a little bit
better.

This was years ago. Over time I have become a collector cheap
sunglasses. Every time I see a pair I like, I make a small investment
and pick them up. I toss them around, sit on them, throw them on the
ground and break them if I feel so inclined.

One day I wear wayfarers, one day it’s aviators, one day it’s
something a little more sporty. It’s always different, always
interesting, and always low stress.

I have so many pairs I gladly give them out to my friends. It ain’t
no fun, if the homies can’t have none.

Life is grand. Stay shady.

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