The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective Players Part 2
Red Pill Theory | January 19, 2018 | by Avery
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(If you already read part 1, you can skip the intro.)

Stephen Covey’s book, _The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People_, is widely considered the greatest self-improvement work of
all time, and for good reason.

Covey’s book stands out because it doesn’t teach tactics
like, “Smile more,” and, “Listen well,” instead,
the seven habits are about the _underlying principles_ of success. If
you understand -and live by- these principles, success will naturally
follow.

While reading Covey’s book_, _I noticed the principles apply just
as much to game as they do anything else. So, I took the liberty of
transcribing the _Seven Habits of Highly Effective People_ into the
_Seven Habits of Highly Effective _Players.

In this article you’re going to learn the underlying principles
for success with women: whether you’re looking for a girlfriend
or a string of one-night stands, if you live by these 7 habits, your
success is all but guaranteed.

3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.

[Beach, Sand, Sea, Water, Ocean, Sexy, Seashore, Woman]

 

To put first things first means to prioritize effectively. The
importance of this habit can’t be overemphasized.
In fact, I failed so impressively at implementing this habit that
I’m a great example of why this principle is so important.

I read the book, _The Game_, ten years ago when I was just sixteen. I
thought the book was fascinating, and I started practicing the
techniques I learned in the book on my classmates.

I started “negging” my friends, I made a point to
“demonstrate higher value” with made up stories, and I made
a point to act cocky and aloof. Guess what? It didn’t work. My
new persona just came off as standoffish and try-hard, I didn’t
attract women, I alienated them.

I thought the most important thing _The Game_ had to teach me was that
I could use specific techniques to attract women. I was missing the
point entirely. What _The Game_ can teach us is that we can treat
dating like a skill, and we can improve improve that skill through
approaching women, facing rejection, and learning from our
experiences.

I didn’t put the first things first. If I wanted to learn game, I
should have focused on taking social risks, not on trying to create a
false persona. The truth was that I was afraid to approach a girl or
to ask someone on a date, so instead, I focused on something that was
easier- Mystery Method style pickup techniques.

The PUA community as a whole has a problem with putting first things
first. Most comments on the forums, the Facebook groups, and the
Subreddits are clearly made by guys who don’t approach women (at
least not regularly).

Most guys I’ve met who are involved in the community spend a lot
of time consuming content, and very little time meeting women in the
real world.

Content can be useful, sure, but it’s a complement to going out
and practicing the skill-set. This is similar to the relationship
between exercise and supplementation: if you aren’t exercising,
those expensive workout supplements aren’t going to accomplish
anything, it’s just mental masturbation at that point.

The same goes for pickup, there’s a lot of great content out
there, but it’s worthless unless you’re taking more action
than you are spending time consuming that content.

The most common excuse guys make for not approaching women is that
it’s not a high enough priority(1).

This often takes the shape of an either/or fallacy:

I want to do game, but I’m focused on school.
I want to do game, but I need to get my business running first.
I want to do game, but not until I reach X% body-fat.

The notion that we can’t do game because it’s not a high
enough priority could be legitimate. But I’m confident that in
many cases, it’s nothing more than a rationalization.

For example, when I learned about game, I told myself that I needed to
learn more material before I did any approaches. In my mind, I
wasn’t ready, I was too awkward, it was only once I learned
enough lines and techniques that I could start approaching women with
a solid foundation.

That was complete bullshit, I was lying to myself because I was afraid
to approach women. It was so much easier to tell myself that I
couldn’t approach yet than it was too actually risk rejection.

For a lot of guys, their excuses for putting off approaching women are
similar. They seem to make logical sense, but they’re really
nothing more than an emotion-based excuse.

Let’s be real, game can be hard, and the fear of rejection is
something most of us share. We don’t want to get rejected, and
it’s so easy to come up with an excuse to avoid that rejection.

Maybe if you’re Gary Vaynerchuck, then you legitimately
don’t have time to go out and meet women because you’re too
busy. But in 99% of cases, you do have 30 minutes a day you could
dedicate to this, you would just have to give up some
Netflix/Facebook/Reddit.

Most guys don’t put first things first when it comes to dating,
because the first thing in question is something we’re afraid of.

This is why we convince ourselves that we’re “just going to
focus on social circle game” or “stop doing game for a while
because I have too much on my plate”- it’s not because game
really isn’t a priority, it’s because it’s hard.

If you doubt that the best way to improve your dating life is through
cold approach, that’s fine. Come up with another solution, but
make sure it’s a real solution based on getting results, not an
excuse to procrastinate.

 

4. THINK WIN/WIN

Looks like a win/win.

For a lot of guys, dating is a competition. In this mindset, sex is
something to be “taken” from a girl. Men who think this way
focus on what they want to the exclusion of what’s good for the
women they interact with.

This way of thinking is fundamentally flawed because one of the most
useful skills one can develop for dating success is emotional
intelligence: the ability to understand and respond to others’
feelings.

When guys who see dating as a competition get rejected, they get hurt
and blame the girl for being a bitch.

When guys who see dating as win/win get rejected, they think about
what they could have done differently:

-Why did she feel that way?

-What was it I said or did that she didn’t like?

When you focus on what a woman is feeling, you can change the dynamic
of an interaction for the better. If she isn’t responding to your
humor, you can tone it down a notch. If she seems bored, you can make
a point to change the topic to something she’ll be more
interested in.

Thinking win/win is about focusing on what you can offer the person
you’re interacting with. Few guys get this, they think that
catering to a girl’s feelings is “not having a strong
frame”.

They don’t understand that the best way to get what you want is
to offer value, first. In psychology, this is called the principle of
reciprocation, when people make us feel good, we feel obliged to
return the favor.

When it comes to making girls (or anyone) like you, understanding the
mindset of win/win is necessary.

Game at the most advanced level is learning what a particular
girl’s wants and needs are in life, and then becoming a source of
fulfillment of those wants and needs.

For example, if a girl is physically beautiful, and constantly gets
told that, she doesn’t need or want more flattery about her
looks, and complementing her on her appearance isn’t offering her
much value.

However, if you have a conversation with her and make her feel that
her mind is more fascinating than her physical appearance, then you
are offering a lot of value(2), and this will make her more attracted
to you.

In game, change your focus from what you can get from a girl, to how
you can make her day better. Once you make her day better, then she
will be much more likely to give you what it is that you want.

You already know what a win for you is in an interaction with a woman
you’re attracted to (sex, at least for most guys), your job is to
find out what win you can give her, and, ultimately, how you can make
sex with you a win for her, too.

 

Footnotes:

1. (BTW, if you spend a couple hours a week consuming pickup content,
but don’t actually go out, then this excuse is complete bullshit,
going out should be a higher priority than consuming content.)

2. This is because she probably isn’t made to feel that she’s
intellectually interesting all that often, everyone is too focused on
her looks.

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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/blog/Red-Pill-Theory/the-seven-habits-of-highly-effective-players-part.22708