The Meta-Game (The Little-Known Secret To Success With Women)
Red Pill Theory | January 5, 2018 | by Avery
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The Game, by Neil Strauss sparked an underground cultural revolution.
Since it’s release, millions of men have turned to the internet
to learn “game” so that they could get the kind of Rockstar
sex life that Neil Strauss talked about in his best-selling novel.

The YouTube channels of numerous self-described dating coaches and
pickup artists have reached an unprecedented level of popularity, with
Simple Pickup reaching well over two million subscribers, and numerous
others exceeding a hundred thousand subscribers. What began as a
small, cult-like group of nerdy men has become a nearly mainstream
phenomenon.

Back in 2005, game was a collection of tactics -loosely based on
evolutionary psychology- that men used to attract women and sleep with
them in as short a time as possible. Understandably, men who learned
about game either loved it or hated it: some guys loved the idea of
having a step-by-step method for sexual success, others considered the
whole idea mechanical and sleazy.

Because the popular Mystery Method style of game was so divisive,
different styles of game have gained popularity in recent years, and
today, the most commonly taught style of game is what is usually
referred to as “natural game”.

Natural game is best defined as a method of attracting women without
using specific canned lines or tactics, instead it is a strategy
focused on learning the general principles and mindsets that make a
man attractive.

Whereas the Mystery Method taught men how to demonstrate value with
storytelling and how to lower a girl’s perceived value using
“negs”, natural game teaches men how to develop
“freedom from outcome,” while simultaneously being
“clear in your intentions.” Today, there are numerous
different styles of natural game with different teachers emphasizing
different aspects of seduction. Some focus on the importance of
developing a social circle to get better access to beautiful women,
others focus on the values that an attractive man lives by- like
having strong boundaries.

Among this new wave of men teaching a natural style of game, there is
one essential aspect of game that is not emphasized nearly enough, and
it causes a very easily missed, but systematic problem within the
pickup (or seduction, or dating coach) industry as a whole.

_Game is a specific skillset that is learned through interactions with
living, breathing women._ This might sound so obvious that it
doesn’t need to be stated, but unfortunately, it absolutely does.
There are thousands of videos and articles that can teach you the
nuances of attracting women, you can learn everything from how to
“be at the cause, not the effect” and how to “attract
women with vulnerability,” but there is very little information
out there about the process of learning game itself.

The harsh truth about the pickup community is that the vast majority
of its members are not going out and approaching women regularly. For
some context, in my city we have an inner circle group of people who
want to learn game. There are over 200 members in that group, in the
last 6 months, less than 15 of those members have left their houses to
actually meet women in person. Of the 15 that have gone out, only
about 10 go out semi-regularly, that is, more than once a month. Of
the 10 that go out once a month, only 6 go out on a weekly basis. Of
those 6, only 2 go out more than three times a week and approach
women.

Let’s be generous and assume 100 of the members of the group are
now in a long-term relationship or have left the city, that would mean
that only 6% of the group goes out relatively frequently, and only 2%
goes out 3 times a week or more.

We’ll go more into why later, but only the guys who have gone out
three times a week or more have gotten any results from game that are
worth writing home about. This shouldn’t be a huge surprise, the
more time you invest into this, the more you’ll get out of it-
just like any skill.

This pattern repeated itself in every city I’ve lived in, only a
few guys went out regularly and actually approached women.

Pickup coaches focus on techniques to create attraction and how to
build a social circle, but there is an overabundance of this kind of
information; there are literally thousands of hours of videos
explaining how to be more effective at attracting women, while the
equally important meta-game is almost entirely ignored.

 

WHAT IS THE META-GAME?

 

The meta-game is the game outside of game, the meta-game isn’t
about what you say or do while interacting with a woman, it’s
about the process of learning success with women itself.

Meta-game is just as important- if not more so- as any other aspect of
the game. The fact that it isn’t taught (at least not
effectively) is the underlying reason that the pickup community is so
unsuccessful at getting men the results they want. The act of watching
pickup coaches’ videos doesn’t usually lead to men taking a
substantial amount of action (in the real world), it just leads them
to watching more videos to learn more about game.

The culture of the “PUA” community has become one of
arm-chair theorizing. Want proof? I just pulled up a popular pickup
forum, and here’s a few of the titles of posts on the front page:

“I think ‘game’ might not be real…”

“Pickup is stupid as shit if your looks are in the bottom
25-30%”

“Girls are SHALLOW, even more shallow than guys”

 

Here’s some titles from the popular seduction subreddit:

“How does one practice (pickup) without danger of being accused
of ‘sexual harassment’ and treated like a predator?”

“Do I really need to get fit?”

“How can I get talking to a girl with a higher SMV than me?”

“Starting to hate myself because women think I’m
creepy.”

 

Now, not only are the forums full of complaining, but that complaining
is largely unsubstantiated with evidence accrued through real-life
experience. You might think the above posters came to their
conclusions from approaching many women and getting consistently
negative responses, but you’d be wrong, they came to these
conclusions do to arbitrary anecdotes. For example, the guy who wrote
the post, “Starting to hate myself because women think I’m
creepy.” Literally said that people walk faster when he’s
near them at the grocery store because he creeps them out, and came to
the conclusion that this means women loathe him.

So, the pickup community as a whole is pretty toxic, and the
instructors focus on techniques that are only helpful if you are
already taking a lot of action consistently (i.e. approaching women).
No wonder such a small percentage of guys who learn pickup get the
sexual relationships they joined the community to get. The deck is
stacked against people who learn about pickup because the community
isn’t focused on the underlying fundamental to success in this
area: knowing how to learn game (and in some cases, learning that
success with women is something that _can _be learned in the first
place).

 

HOW TO LEARN META-GAME

 It’s a dating article, therefore images of attractive women need
to be everywhere.
We’re left with an important question, how do you go about
learning the meta-game? There’s two fundamentals to doing so:

1. Taking massive action, and

2. Learning from what happens when you take action

To accomplish this, you can take on challenge-based programs like The
Rules of The Game
[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061911690/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=averhayd-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0061911690&linkId=8c8fff624f0335803a1bfffa9da94a84],
or The Trial: Transform Your Dating Life In Eight Weeks
[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1974646416/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=averhayd-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1974646416&linkId=1a9553d27656915aecec63abb6fbcbf0]
(are the best books for this), or for a video course, I recommend Todd
V’s [https://toddwinnergame.com/get/] Winner Game (which has a
set of challenges for how to start learning game in the field and goes
into how to learn game in depth).

The core of learning the meta-game comes down to learning about your
own blind-spots through action taking and self-reflection. Skype
coaching can be extremely useful for this (if you find a good coach*)
because your coach will challenge your excuses and self-defeating
beliefs while also providing you with accountability to take more
action.

If you can’t afford coaching, the best way to go about this is to
go out, approach women, and write good field reports
[http://averyhayden.net/the-ultimate-guide-to-writing-pua-field-reports/]
that force you to learn from what happened when you were out.

Remember that yes, the content that dating coaches teach is helpful,
but only if you’re on the path towards success with women in the
first place- if you’re not going out regularly, or you find
yourself repeatedly making the same mistakes, it’s more important
that you learn how to learn game then it is for you to learn the kind
of stuff that most pickup videos teach (like how to use push-pull).

*I recommend the following Skype coaches:

Todd Vandahey
[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo9XJennsRNhyPbXCq6e8aw]: To inquire
about Skype coaching, email him at: email todd@toddvdating.com 

Austen Summers
[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaQs5uEGmuNoj8GGVhnB3kA]: Go to
https://www.austensummers.com/skype

I also recommend myself [https://redpilltheory.com/coaching/], but I
wanted to provide other options since I don’t expect you to trust
such obvious self-promotion.

(If you know a coach that you think is particularly good and should be
mentioned on this list, PM their website and I’ll take a look.)

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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/blog/Red-Pill-Theory/the-meta-game-the-little-known-secret-to-success.22717