What Makes A Woman Boring & How Not to be Boring to Men
The Feminine Woman | April 11, 2012 | by Renee Wade
-------------------------
AS A WOMAN, YOU’D RATHER BE LABELLED A “SELFISH BITCH” THAN
“BORING”. HERE’S WHY…

ARTICLE UPDATED 2018

I’ve been thinking, and when it comes to bad labels, you much rather
the people you care about label you a selfish bitch than label you
“boring”. Why? Because boring people are last in line when it
comes to reproductive success. At least that’s the impression
boring people give. Uninteresting, unstimulating, “safe” people
are rarely sexually attractive. They’re just boring.

In my experience, they also command the least respect and the least
popularity.

At least a selfish bitch might be selfishly exciting or at the very
least; cause someone to have strong feelings about you. That’s
better than someone not caring about you altogether.

But BORING? No thanks.

Have you ever noticed that some of the most selfish, crazy, egocentric
or even arrogant people still have people gravitating toward them?
Whereas so-called “nice” men and women end up alone. Does the
phrase “too nice” ring a bell? To me, too nice = boring.

By the way, a selfish person is rarely a selfish person with
_EVERYBODY_. Even the most selfish people have unselfish sides, but it
usually takes a certain type of person to “bring out” their less
selfish side.

Now I’m about to get a tiny bit ‘evolutionary thinking’ on you
in the next paragraph. If you choose to pay attention I promise it
will pay off.

From an evolutionary perspective, the ‘nicest’ people (especially
nice MEN); the people who like to please people, only have to be nice
because they don’t have too many mating “options”. Why is this?
Well, because, people who have many, many ‘options’ and potential
suitors at their door rarely even have the brain space to go out of
their way to please people. There simply is no need to please, because
there is always a 10/10 option out there for them. Their life is far
too exciting, and the other high status people they hang around are
far too engaging.

So, whether you truly are a ‘bad catch’ (you’re not!) or a bad
potential mate or not, being overly ‘nice’ and AGREEABLE STILL
sends this subconscious message to people: I DON’T HAVE TOO MANY
OPTIONS AT MY DOOR.

And here’s the thing: sex is at the bottom of pretty much everything
we do. It’s the underpinning of why we do what we do. Survival and
reproduction created us. We are here to continue to survive and
procreate. Without these two drives, we are nothing. And these are the
two strongest drives within us.

As much of a bitch as you may seem when you publicly slap a man and
walk off after he said something demeaning, you are also exciting. (a
woman named Stephanie who emailed me recently proved this. She slapped
a man she met at an art gallery for telling her she has a _‘very
nice hourglass figure’_ the first time they met. And in fact, it was
the MAN she slapped who e-mailed me for advice. I later got talking to
this lovely lady as well, who is full of depth and a strong sense of
self-worth). By the way, they later started dating and roughly 2
months later, are STILL together as we speak (thanks for the updates
Stephanie).

So, having said all this – it’s ok if you’ve been boring before.
I went through that stage, and I think we’ve all been through it.
Sometimes fear gets the better of us and we become ‘paralyzed’ and
can’t be _ALIVE_ and present with life. (read my article about
boring vs crazy women
[https://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/11/boring-women-vs-crazy-women/])

BUT HERE’S THE QUESTION: WHAT ACTUALLY MAKES A WOMAN BORING AND HOW
NOT TO BE A BORING GIRLFRIEND?

I’ve done a lot of thinking about this subject because I intuitively
knew that boringness is the last thing you want to be as a woman. So
I’ve narrowed it down to 5 simple things that make a woman boring,
just for your reference:

1) The tendency to avoid being noticed in social situations for fear
of people judging you.

2) Having the mindset that_ “MISTAKES ARE BAD”_. This belief
usually goes under the radar, in your subconscious. You may not think
you hold this belief, but your actions show that you do.

Just in case you’re interested – this belief is not really YOURS.
You picked it up at School.

Mistakes are one of the most valuable things in your life. Every time
you make a mistake, you give yourself a beautiful gift – the gift of
becoming an even more experienced, wise and interesting woman because
you’ve learned more about what ‘works’ and what doesn’t work
in life. If you choose to, you become more, as a person. (Click here
to get your “Goddess Report”)
[http://shenwademedia.com/optin/goddess-report?utm_source=femwomblog&utm_medium=he%27s%20into%20video%20games&utm_campaign=Goddess%20Report&_ga=2.91449434.1926194994.1528702610-1776871051.1519190961]

In reality, _YOU DON’T NEED TO AVOID DOING THE WRONG THING WITH
MEN_ – what you truly need, is to fail faster. But not use
“it’s ok to fail” as an excuse to constantly devalue yourself
for a man! It might be a hard thing to do – but it works.

3) Holding the belief that you shouldn’t ever say ‘bad’ things
about others. I know your grandma meant well when she said: “if you
haven’t got anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”, and
there definitely IS truth in that (thanks nanna). But the problem
comes when you take it to the extreme and don’t ever voice your
honest opinions on another person’s way of acting, or another
person’s belief.

In order to be a valuable person socially – your thoughts on another
person’s values and habits actually set you apart – and show that
you have the energy, and the PASSION in your life to actually stand
for something. Passion is an incredibly attractive thing, in case you
haven’t noticed yet.

And of course – the other valuable thing about having an opinion is
that it bonds you further to other people who share your values too.
If you’re an “agreeable” person and give “equal respect” or
“equal kind treatment” to EVERYBODY, you’re hardly going to
develop a connection with many men – or even women, because
there’s no DEPTH to the relationship or friendship.

A lot of us want to avoid being the ‘mean’ or judgmental person,
but that’s boring because you’re rejecting a part of yourself. In
the end, what excites us, and what draws other high value, high status
men to YOU is what’s exciting about you. And when you think about
it, what excites us humans is the juicy, controversial stuff. (read
my article the power of words
[https://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/02/the-power-of-words/])

So you don’t have to be a woman who beats up her man or torches his
car – but there’s a reason why the media hardly ever runs and
articles on the ‘happy couple’ – because those stories are too
boring to us. Sad and a bit sick, but true.

So should you sit there bagging other people? No. But you SHOULD
express your honest, authentic feelings and opinions, and use that as
a way of bonding to others. Don’t just bitch with bad intentions
because you’re green with envy or like to see others fail. That
makes you the low value person.

4) Talking about yourself all the time. Gosh it’s frustrating to
hang around people who can only ever muster up conversations about
themselves, isn’t it? Especially when you are in a group. And the
problem is, most of these people don’t even realize they are doing
it.

You want to aim for a conversation that adds value to YOU as well as
others. If you want to talk about yourself, fine – as long as you
have interesting, great stories to tell.

5) I saved the best one til last – a lack of passion. If you’re
not passionate, you’re not alive. If you’re not alive, you’re
not very engaging or energetic; you’re boring. Which means that
fewer men will want to commit their life to you, and people will not
find value in spending time with you. If you want your phone to be
buzzing at least sometimes and if you want men to pursue you – get
passionate. Start giving yourself the gift of feeling alive.
Imperfect, but alive.

(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in
this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to
Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out
right now…)
[https://www.google.com/url?q=https%3A%2F%2Fshenwademedia.com%2Foptin%2Femotional-button-for-men-to-commit%2F&sa=D&sntz=1&usg=AFQjCNGODxuxyZILeNhmttaZ5KwZ0pcQdw]

SO, HOW NOT TO BE BORING IN A RELATIONSHIP?

There are a few actions steps. But I’m only giving you one to start
with.

Become a passionate person.

How do you become a passionate person? It’s simple: Care. Go first.
Just care about the things you’re not used to caring about. For
example, other people. Or just care more about learning from people.
Learning from their life experience. Or even sharing and talking with
other people whose stories you can learn from.

Do you want to experience something in your relationship, like for
example, more fun? Give it first. Add that value first. You want a
friend to appreciate you more? Appreciate them first. You want people
to notice your efforts more? Notice other people’s efforts first.

Counter-intuitive, but it works!

You want a man to approach you or be warm to you? SMILE AT HIM FIRST.
Don’t expect him to know what you are thinking. (He’s a MAN!)

So how does doing any of THAT make you passionate?

It makes you passionate because you’re putting yourself through what
is hard. You’re not doing what most people do – which is to sit
there and complain or DEMAND that something happen TO you – you’re
moving through your own comfort zone and demanding more from yourself,
which automatically makes you FEEL more. It moves you.

People aren’t passionate not just because they’re not passionate
– but because they never make themselves DO anything. So they are
not ALIVE.

And when you do that, it makes you passionate because it’s a
physical thing – moving through emotional difficulty is also moving
through physical difficulty. You experience it PHYSICALLY and even if
your MIND does not remember that it was hard – your BODY does. And
the energy you put out to the world will be more passionate.

Learn the 17 Attraction Triggers, click here to find this out. 
[http://shenwademedia.com/offer/17-attraction-triggers/?utm_source=femwomblog&utm_medium=how%20not%20to%20be%20boring&utm_campaign=17%20AT]

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall
deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5
secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE.
Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!
[https://shenwademedia.com/offer/bhoo/?utm_source=tfw-blog&utm_medium=blog-post-no-107&utm_campaign=BHOO-dvd-offer])

SO I’M CURIOUS: DO YOU AGREE? WHAT DO YOU THINK MAKES SOMEBODY
BORING?

[renee-wade][renee-wade]
[https://www.thefemininewoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/renee.jpg]

P.S. Connect with me on social media

Our new Facebook Group is here… JOIN THE €œHIGH VALUE
FEMININE WOMEN€ COMMUNITY USING THIS LINK
[https://www.facebook.com/groups/highvaluefemininewomen/]

	* Here’s MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL THE FEMININE WOMAN. 
[https://www.youtube.com/user/thefemininewoman/]
	* Here’s THE FEMININE WOMAN FACEBOOK PAGE€¦
[https://www.facebook.com/thefemininewoman/]
	* Here’s my Instagram Pages THEFEMININEWOMAN
[https://www.instagram.com/the_feminine_woman/] & MY PERSONAL
INSTAGRAM. [https://www.instagram.com/renee_tfw/]


-------------------------
Archived from https://theredarchive.com/blog/The-Feminine-Woman/what-makes-a-woman-boring-how-not-to-be-boring-to.29708