How to Handle “What are We?” / “Where are We Going?”
Kill Your Inner Loser | December 12, 2019 | by Andy
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As I mentioned in You and Me
[https://killyourinnerloser.com/you-and-me/], life is a whole lot
easier and goes a whole lot smoother if you’re upfront and honest
with girls (and people in general.) Nowhere is this more important
than when a girl you’re having casual sex with starts to like you
and drops the “Where is this going?” question.

A lot of guys advocate for dodging her question, usually with
something like, “What we have is good right now, so let’s not ruin
it by putting a label on it.” They advocate for stringing her along
a bit and hoping she won’t ask again (for a while).

But honestly, why play games? By doing so, you’re screening in girls
who like to be lied to, and you’re creating a situation where
neither of you is honest with each other. Things will often blow up
when she eventually gets tired of being strung along. _Why add
unnecessary drama for yourself?_

It’s easier to be 100% honest and tell the girl what it is you’re
after. I personally say something along the lines of: _“Look, I like
sex. I’ll never be monogamous. I like you though, and I’m not
making any promises but for now I’m happy to keep seeing you. If
you’re happy to keep seeing me too, we’ll do that. If you’re
ever unhappy, just talk to me and we’ll figure out what to do. I’m
never going to lie to you though or promise you something just to get
you to stay. That’s retarded.”_

By being upfront like this, you’re screening in girls who appreciate
honesty and will be upfront with you in return. There’ll be much
less drama, she won’t blow up and say “You led me on and wasted my
time!” etc. If she’s happy to keep seeing you, you can both relax,
knowing you’re on the same page and both want the same thing. That
may change in future, but because you’ve already laid the
foundations of honesty, she’ll have a calm rational discussion with
you if anything does change.

And if you’re worried being honest will cause her to walk away –
isn’t that a _good_ thing? Don’t you _want_ to filter out girls
who want something different to what you want? If you’re not on the
same page, your time would be better spent finding girls who _are_ on
the same page as you; girls who don’t want to rush into a
relationship too fast.

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[Yo, Andy here. I’m an Aussie guy who went from a depressed,
suicidal loser to a guy who gets laid regularly, has 3somes & BDSM
sex, crushes weights at the gym & loves his life. I killed my inner
loser. It's my mission to get you to kill your inner loser too.]
[https://killyourinnerloser.com/my-transformation/] 

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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/blog/Kill-Your-Inner-Loser/how-to-handle-what-are-we-where-are-we-going.34315