The Most Liberating Thing You Can Possibly Hear If You Are Scared To Talk To Girls Good Looking Loser | February 18, 2015 | by Good Looking Loser ------------------------- [The Most Liberating Thing You Can Possibly Hear If You Are Scared To Talk To Girls] [//www.goodlookingloser.com/images/easyblog_images/63/Michael_Jackson__s_shapes_by_keheleyr.jpg] We Grant You Permission To NOT BE SMOOTH (The Most Important Concept on 'Get Laid' by Good Looking Loser) Despite the enormous amount of [helpful if applied] content on Good Looking Loser, there are limitations on how much we can truly help you over the Internet. I admit this without hesitation. We simply cannot type words in a certain profound order that will significantly impact how your mind and body reacts when social tension is applied. That is something you will have to leave the house to fix earn. All we can do is try to convince (or trick you, at times) into going out and talking to women, thereby gaining exposure, thereby lowering your anxiety to do so. After a while, you'll find yourself at ease and come give us the credit [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/player-lifestyle/how-to-be-successful-at-everything-on-this-site-what-i-know-that-you-don-t] for lowering your anxiety, even though you did all the work. You do it, we are given the credit. I've seen it happen hundreds and hundreds of times. The myth of us actually changing your life is critical to our survival - so don't tell anyone. At times, however, there are a few things that I can tell you that can have an immediate effect and change how you view "the game" and how you should go about walking up to random chicks. This may be one of those moments.  LISTEN TO THIS AND THEN LISTEN TO IT AGAIN. AND LISTEN TO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. WHEN YOU WALK UP TO A GIRL TO SPEAK TO HER - (or even think about it) DO NOT TRY AND BE SMOOTH. DO NOT TRY AND BE SMOOTH. DO NOT TRY AND BE SMOOTH. GUYS THAT GET LAID A LOT -- ARE NOT SMOOTH MOST OF THE TIME. Sometimes, if a guy comes across a girl who he has natural chemistry with, the interaction will go smoothly and he will look smooth. By and large, however, guys that Get Laid a lot have plenty of sloppy, awkward, painful-to-watch-for-the-normal-person-who-doesn't-Get-Laid interactions. I repeat - GUYS THAT GET LAID A LOT -- ARE NOT SMOOTH MOST OF THE TIME. Why is this? Is their "game" no good? [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/will-screening-work-for-me/] Are they scared? Are they not good looking enough? [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/you-arent-that-ugly/] No. GUYS THAT GET LAID A LOT AREN'T SMOOTH MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE... For one - When a heterosexual male and female who have never met each other have their first interaction, neither one of them is 100% TOTALLY comfortable. Social and sexual tension is completely normal - even if you have a high tolerance to it. The net result of this PIECE OF COMMON SENSE are interactions that don't always go smoothly.  For two - It takes TWO to be smooth. The guy AND THE GIRL. Despite popular thought, held by both the mainstream and the seduction community [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/the-fundemental-problem-with-pua-or-seduction-community], just because you are comfortable, doesn't mean the girl is automatically going to be comfortable. IT IS NOT TRUE. If the girl is not available [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/getting-girls-is-a-numbers-game/], she will usually not "be smooth" nor let you "be smooth". An unavailable girl (most girls) will be somewhat cold, standoffish and non-engaging. Some sweeter girls will be very nice, but resist when you introduce physical contact. The smoothest guy in the world is not going to look particularly smooth if he is talking to a girl who is not interested. She won't respond well to his "game". She might not be rude, but there's hardly going to be any fireworks or magic. And The opposite can also be true - Many interested girls GET NERVOUS when they like a guy. Interested girls can get shy because they don't want to "mess up". Even the hot ones. Especially the less experienced girls. Especially when they aren't wearing as much makeup as they wish for the moment. Especially when they are alone, without the social support of their friends who they usually rely on approval/disapproval from. Jesus, I've seen this a million times and you will too if you have a edgy/masculine appearance as we suggest. But many guys mistake this for disinterest, which it certainly can be in some cases. BOTH GIRLS WHO ARE INTERESTED AND AREN'T INTERESTED MAY RESPOND LESS THAN POSITIVELY. Their 'not super positive' reaction can make an otherwise "smooth guy", react not-so-smoothly at times. The whole "the alpha male isn't ever reactive" is a concept, not a reality. It is human instinct to react according to stimulus - the key is to recover or shake it off. So even when you lose your approach anxiety - you can't expect smooth interactions. Not even from the girls that are interested in you. Natural chemistry and the girl's personality/availability is a major factor in how the interaction goes. "Smoothness" is not all on you. Third off - If you are being aggressive (meaning talking to a lot of girls and screening them physically in the first 60 seconds [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/screening-game/]), the vast majority of your interactions will not be very smooth. You are moving fast and girls rarely see this kind of assertiveness. For a girl - Meeting a stranger and 20 seconds later holding his hand is not normal. In fact, it can be quite weird if the girl isn't available. But if she is - it can be very exciting. Even in that case, however, it's not likely to be super smooth unless she is somehow really sure of herself and doesn't play hard to get. There is NO COMPLETELY SMOOTH WAY to hold a girls hand in 20 seconds. There is NO COMPLETELY SMOOTH WAY to kiss a girl in 5 minutes. There is NO COMPLETELY SMOOTH WAY to take a girl to your car in 10 minutes And Frankly - There is NO COMPLETELY SMOOTH WAY to have sex with a girl if she thinks you are moving a bit fast. And guess what? IT.DOES.NOT.MATTER. Excitement is far more important than "smoothness". In fact, girls will forgive a lot of things you do "wrong" when they are excited about you and where the interaction is likely headed. Chris is Not Always Smooth  And You Shouldn't Be Either You've probably seen my YouTube videos.  Sometimes, I have some natural chemistry with the girl I'm talking to, a premeditated gameplan in mind that she consents to and it ends up looking really smooth. It's ON from the start. Just as often, I don't have much natural chemistry with the girl I'm talking to and things look clumsy. Sometimes, it's just my own fault - my mood isn't great, the timing is off, I'm not quite in the moment or sometimes the girl literally didn't see me coming. But sometimes - the girl is JUST NOT FEELING ME (or anyone else). Anytime I publish a video, there's plenty of "You're Smooth Chris!" comments like this - [smooth1] [smooth2] And I also get plenty of "You're Not Smooth Chris!" comments like this - [youtube notsmooth1] In fact, almost EVERY SINGLE VIDEO has both differing opinions - [youtube smooth both] And Again - [youtube both] But usually someone gets the point - [smooth final]Sometimes, it goes "smooth". Sometimes, it does not. More than half the time - IT'S NOTHING I CAN CONTROL.  THAT IS HOW THIS STUFF WORKS. IT'S A NUMBERS GAME [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/the-numbers-game-what-are-my-odds] AND THE ODDS ARE LOW ON ANY INDIVIDUAL GIRL - BUT IN HIGHLY YOUR FAVOR IF YOU TALK TO SEVERAL GIRLS ON A REGULAR BASIS. I DID THIS STUFF FOR 3.5 YEARS, NEARLY EVERYDAY. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT LOOKS WHEN YOU DO THIS STUFF. Sometimes smooth. Sometimes not. Sometime 3 or 4 months before my "Golden Era" [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/the-golden-era-of-peace-indifference-and-pussy-when-picking-up-women-actually-becomes-fun], I stopped worrying about "being smooth" and really started tagging some pussy.  If I can get you to drop the "I need to be smooth" junk too, you'll be well on your way. You'll be able to finally ditch your Approach Anxiety. And Later, you'll be able to build your Killer Instinct, a fundamental FAR MORE IMPORTANT than "smoothness". And At some point, you'll even be willing to look like a creep - and you'll finally give yourself permission to talk to girls [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/claim-that-pussy/], with much less stake in the outcome. SO WHY DO GUYS TRY TO BE SMOOTH?  There's two main reason that guys put so much focus and stress on themselves to be smooth. #UNO - THEY LITERALLY DON'T GET IT AND ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE THE GIRL TO "LIKE" THEM Most guys literally think "smoothness" (and not Killer Instinct/aggressiveness) is the way to get in a girl's pants. If they are "smooth", the girl will like them. It's the old legendary Good Looking Loser coined "I hope she likes me..." mentality [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/i-hope-she-likes-me-game/] that ~100% of guys have. That's a recipe for failure unless the girl is less attractive/cool and distinctly available.  Hollywood movies with scenes reshot hundreds of times reinforce this "If you be smooth, she will like you" mentality too. In movies, most often the actor is a "smooth talker". After he is smooth for a while, the girl in the movie starts to like him and takes the lead to initiate kissing and ultimately sex [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/beta-male-in-movies]. This is the example of "how it's done" that most guys get. Be smooth and hope the girl does something.  Although most guys are at their best when they are sloppy and drunk and around similarly sloppy intoxicated girls, they still believe that "smoothness" is the key to getting in a girl's pants. Those unfortunate souls who get lost in the seduction community have the same mentality that it is their sole responsibility to make girls "like" them. They believe that it is their duty to be smooth with routines/lines/body language and always their fault when their "game" doesn't make the girl spread her pussy (or ass cheeks). #DOS - THEY ARE SCARED AND "SAFE GAME" (TRYING TO BE SMOOTH) IS APPEALING The entire smooth persona might look good on camera but ultimately is simply a wonderful excuse to play it safe in real life. In reality, being smooth is a tactic to avoid rejection. Not to Get Laid. I did that for years. I know. Since it's nearly impossible to be smooth and aggressive, nearly all guys pick "try to be smooth" because it's much safer and the chances of getting a bad reaction beyond a disinterested look is quite low. In reality, guys who consciously try to be smooth play "not to lose" and they literally stand there trying to pick the correct words in order to "not fuck up". Keeping a dead conversation going and hoping for the right opportunity to "do something" is the goal. The moment never comes but at least nothing bad happened.  Related - * "Be Aggressive, Not Smooth" [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/be-aggressive-pua/] POUR CONCLURE Obviously with practice (experience), you will become more smooth. Beyond a certain point (usually after you beat approach anxiety), it doesn't really matter though. Your "smoothness" is hardly a primary factor in which girls end up liking you. And Certainly hardly a primary factor which girls end up in your bed with their butt cheeks suffocating your face.  For casual sex, how you look (sex appeal = physical attraction) [https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/archive/entry/looks-matter-more-to-women/] and her looks threshold/availability are MUCH BIGGER factors in whether she is physically attracted to you. Not smoothness. Killer Instinct (advanced social freedom/aggressiveness) is a MUCH BIGGER factor in whether you hit that pussy. Not smoothness. Being smooth is icing on the cake and although certainly part of your experience/confidence, the 'smoothness' of an interaction is also an indicator of natural chemistry, an open window and the girl's personality.  You can only do so much. Trying to be smooth is hardly worth your time and a huge diversion from being aggressive. Be aggressive - you'll Get Laid. Be smooth - you'll avoid rejection. It's up to you. Guys that Get Laid a lot ARE NOT ALWAYS SMOOTH. So you now have permission to NOT BE SMOOTH. You will Get Laid being clumsy and sloppy just as much. ------------------------- Archived from https://theredarchive.com/blog/Good-Looking-Loser/the-most-liberating-thing-you-can-possibly-hear-if.35110