A year of being a player–lessons post red pill.
RedPillDad | June 1, 2019 | by RP McMurphy
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So I took the pill sometime in the winter/spring of 2018
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/03/11/my-summary-of-the-red-pill-basics-10-things-all-men-should-know/].
As many of you guys know, there’s a period where you’re like: is
this just some bullshit?

But then you start to see women behave this way and you can’t go
back. It’s impossible to unsee what you see, unless you’re too
dumb to take it in or too biased to believe it.

I’m not particularly dumb, and actually, taking TRP made me less
biased, so I accept it as truth and use what I know to my advantage.

The first thing I want to go through are my weak points, as these
require the most attention:

	* MY FRAME IS TOO VOLATILE. When I’m holding frame, it’s
strong–strong enough to approach 9’s & 10’s and not be
intimidated. But it breaks down too often and when it does I lose my
edge with women and my purpose.
	* I’M A NEEDY FUCKING BITCH AT TIMES. I don’t do what I used to
and constantly text chicks and friends, but it happens too much and
why? Loneliness. I’ve been with a lot of women this year, but most
of the time if I’m not with my son I’m alone. I’ll forgive
myself a little bit, because it’s human to want to be around others,
but it’s a liability, as it’s the primary reason I lose my frame.
	* I DON’T READ ENOUGH. I’ve been better recently, but I’m
playing games on my phone too much. It’s funny, most people don’t
think it’s really all that bad to be on your phone all the time, but
I’ll tell you, it’s fucking toxic. It lulls your brain into
thinking you’re doing something productive when you’re actually
being completely worthless.
	* I NEED TO QUIT DRINKING. At least any sort of volume. I think a
drink or two is acceptable in the initial stages of seduction (“lets
get a glass of wine”), but I also know a lot of guys in the game
don’t drink at all–true for red pill guys as well. So know that if
you use alcohol or drugs for game, that can be a problem. It’s not
immoral. I’m not some Puritan. It’s just a vice that needs to be
managed, because it can get in the way of being the best man you can
be.
	* I NEED TO BUILD MORE RAPPORT WITH CHICKS. I haven’t been good
about recording my stats lately, but I think my flake/no response rate
is about average for a decent player–me freaking out about is a good
example of losing frame. But I also think my flakes are coming from a
lack of comfort. 

MORE ON THIS…

As I’ve said, I’m a pretty good looking guy, 6’3″ athletic,
etc. And I think now that I’ve gotten a little smooth with my game,
I reek of being a player. It’s something I need to dial down a bit.

Texting is a good example: I do EXACTLY what a player would do. Ping,
wait 36-48 hours, and if I get a reply, go for the date close.

That works, but when it does, it because the girl knows what you want
and wants to give it to you–that explains the fact
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/04/14/field-report-girl-approaches-me-at-a-bar-next-day-lay/]
I’ve had a lot of first date lays
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/04/26/field-report-punk-rock-chick-first-date-lay/].

But I now think it might be better to ping, send a GIF, ping, one
more, and then go for the close. I think girls need a little more
comfort–texting is such a normal part of our lives that it may be
more grounding needs to happen with the back and forth before the
date.

As with all things in game it’s a delicate balance between comfort
and value.

In terms of girls, I’m doing OK: yoga girl came back (told you)
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/05/02/never-lose-the-frame-always-play-it-cool/],
but warns me nothing is going to happen (lmao). I’m wondering if
she’s even worth it, but the sex was great, so if I can get some of
that, I’ll take it.

Otherwise, I’ve had two dates with Socks and banged her both times
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/05/18/bang-why-you-should-always-push-the-envelope-in-escalation/].
My hope is she becomes a plate. And I had a date with the 20 year old
model
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/05/23/day-game-field-report-5-22-and-a-pull-sdl/],
it went well…

Actually, might as well tell the story.

First, it was a good pickup. My first effective front stop.

She’s in Whole Foods getting flowers and I’m behind, so I take a
few quick steps and stop her by turning to say, “now why is a pretty
girl buying her own flowers?”

Pretty good line actually. Use your environment and the girl to your
advantage boys.

Anyway, she laughs, we exchange a few lines–maybe two minutes with
some shit tests (“do you say this to all the girls you meet,
haha”–me: “yep,” and the I just continued talking) and then
she starts to eject and I say, “now hold on a minute, I know you
have to go, but would you like to grab some tea some afternoon.” And
I close with the number.

For the date we met at the tea place. I hugged her when I came in and
after we got our drinks immediately established kino, touching her
shoulder when I accused her, pushing her knee away, etc.

More shit tests:

	* Vegan… which makes me, a ketogenic guy, a terrible person. But
being vegan is in and of itself a shit test–it’s not natural to
eat that way and it’s incredibly difficult. Not to mention
obnoxious. I just did A & A, using it to disqualify myself. I also
changed the subject as quickly as possible. “Change her mood, not
her mind.”
	* Age? “How old are you?” Me: “87, but I’ve had a lot of
really good surgeons.” Thanks Tom Torero [https://tomtorero.com/].
	* “Vegan dick is the best dick.” OK, so I don’t know if other
guys get this or if it’s just a local thing, but a lot of girls
where I live will shit test you by being overly sexual–because
either they are or they want to be. I think this is why yoga girl
keeps coming back: because I fucked her good and in ways she hadn’t
been fucked before. Thank you RedQuest for the vibrator tip
[https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2019/03/13/tell-your-girl-to-use-a-vibrator-during-sex-and-other-bedroom-tips/].
Anyway, when girls do this, you just maintain frame, don’t get
rattled. If you can, tell a story to demonstrate value. I tell one
about how I found out a girl I was dating was a cam girl–because
it’s true. I think this is also a good point at which to ask her if
she’s into any kind of kink or BDSM or threesomes. A lot of girls
are. This girl was.

Anyway, when we finished our tea I suggested we go for a walk–some
of the above happened on the walk. Oh and I forgot to mention that I
did the cube routine at the tea house
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/06/01/the-cube-routine/]. That’s a
killer routine to use, and even though the girl sort of knows it’s a
pick-up thing, it’s a hell of a lot more fun than answering the
usual boring questions she gets.

I’ll write down the routine from my perspective, but I have to
credit Mystery I believe, though Strauss’ Game where I first read it
[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062312979/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=rpmcmurphy-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0062312979&linkId=88faaf4834e2325e5b6d6bc7a39916fd].

So admittedly, a couple of dates now–not with Socks–but with two
other girls, I didn’t kiss close. To be fair, the date above fit the
sort that you can’t escalate well on–she had plans at 6:30. With
the other girl it was more logistics. She kept sitting across from
me–I tried to remedy this, but perhaps not aggressively enough…
anyway, I could give a hundred excuses, but I always think it’s
better to escalate if you can.

However, if it turns out these girls can become plates and stick
around more easily, then OK. I’ll have to give Black Dragon some
credit
[https://blackdragonblog.com/2015/03/01/5-easy-ways-to-get-a-second-date/].
I guess his original point was that if you can’t have sex with her
that night, don’t go for the kiss close.

Let’s see what else…

Oh, I’ve done a lot of thinking recently on the value and coolness
vs. game argument
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/05/24/on-being-a-high-value-guy-vs-actually-having-game/]
and I think some of it’s semantics. Like, yeah, you need value–you
need to lift, be smart, have a mission, be put together and increase
your SMV as high as possible.

But the value doesn’t matter if you can’t deliver it through game.
At the same time, I’ll admit, however, that if you’re too low
value, game probably doesn’t matter.

I also think it’s important to think about how you’re meeting
chicks. If you’re doing cold approach like me–or Nash who inspired
that post [https://daysofgame.com/]–game really fucking matters–in
some way it IS your value/coolness.

On the other hand, if you’re doing more social circle/long game
leads, then yeah, value is probably a bigger factor because the girl
is really going to get to know who you are.

Another way to think of this is lover vs. provider. I guess in that
sense, I’d rather be the lover, and this means game and fast
escalation are key.

The final thing I want to say, and if I’ve said this before, is that
TRP is not misogynistic
[https://redpilldad.blog/2019/03/11/my-summary-of-the-red-pill-basics-10-things-all-men-should-know/].
We love women. We spend inordinate amounts of time, money, and efforts
to be with feminine beautiful women. And we are direct with our
intentions–we want sex. This is man to woman. At that point it’s
up to her. Yes we use strategy and tactics and some of it can seem
like manipulation, but we’re giving the girl the experience she
wants to have by tapping into her evolutionary biology. We’re not
forcing anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.

Now, have I said things that are shitty about women from time to time?
Sure–but 99.9% of all women have at sometime said something to
effect of, “all men are pigs/disgusting.”

Does that mean they hate men? No.

It’s just the battle of the sexes playing out. Our sexual strategy
is not symbiotic. Women have the dual mating strategy of lover vs.
provider, or of getting the alpha and then making him a beta through
monogamy and marriage; men have the strategy of having sex with as
many hot, young women as possible.

So yeah, feelings get hurt. People get betrayed. Relationships can be
win/win, but they can also be win/lose. Those are the stakes of the
game.

I’ll end this by saying that it’s not worth getting mad about. So
many guys in the manosphere and TRP are upset, and I’m not saying I
haven’t been there, but being overly angry isn’t a good look or a
good way to live.

Control what you can control. Let go of what you can’t.

Much love brothers.

 
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Archived from https://theredarchive.com/blog/RedPillDad/a-year-of-being-a-playerlessons-post-red-pill.4280