Alpha Move: Give her chocolate . . . the <i>right</i> way! 
The Red Pill Room | February 16, 2012 | by Ian Ironwood
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Okay, I know Athol and I and a whole bunch of other Manosphere guys
are hardcore geeks and nerds (there is a difference, but only a geek
would know it and only a nerd would argue about it).  That's
off-putting to some folks who don't "get" sci-fi and think it's all a
bunch of ray guns and rocket ships.  The fact is, the reason a lot of
us geek out about sci-fi and comics and such is that they present more
elegant and useful metaphors for the realities of our post-industrial
existence.  "Using the Force", for instance, when you are closing
your eyes driving through traffic on the interstate, or "entering the
Neutral Zone" when undertaking activity of dubious legality.  The
fact is, we use sci-fi metaphors because they are apt and elegant and
they are a common point of reference for many of us who didn't do a
lot of dating in High School.

That being said as preface, we come to the topic of today's post, the
proper way to give your wife chocolate.

Mrs. Ironwood and I have been eagerly enjoying _THE BIG BANG THEORY_,
not only for it's witty nerdicissms but also for it's portrayal of a
gang of misfit Betas, Sigmas, Deltas and Omegas attempt to overcome
their terminal geekatude and find babes.  When one actually does, his
roommate Sheldon, an anal-retentive OCD genius theoretical physicist,
has a hard time dealing with her feminine idiosyncracies.  Instead of
pitching a hissy fit, he handles the situation with masculine cunning.
 Observe:

(Crap, they disabled embedding, the bastards.)

  I'll wait a moment while you first go watch this clip . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy_mIEnnlF4 

. . . and then this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWyZHSZf3TM 

Back yet?

When Mrs. Ironwood and I first watched this, we laughed so hard we
almost peed. 

And after that it became an inside joke.  I started carrying around a
small bag of candy (Hershey's drops, but any kind of small, easily
portable chocolate candy will do) and whenever she did something I
approved of, say, initiate sex, talk dirty, or  verbally offer me
respect for what I do, or some such, I'd whip out the bag and say
_"Chocolate?" _and she'd laugh.  I'd laugh.  Funny.

But I kept doing it.  After a while, it stopped being funny in one
way, and started being funny in another as she acknowledged my
conscious attempts to take control of the relationship and modify her
behavior.  Whenever I suddenly offered her a chocolate, it was a
tangible and concrete sign of my approval, and a tacit rejection of
the behavior she avoided.  In other words, it made her unconscious
behaviors I disliked conscious, calling her out and holding her
accountable, while rewarding her for her efforts to counter them --
even if they were accidental.  I tried to never do it ironically,
always supportively.  And after a while, I didn't even need the
chocolate.  I could just pantomime handing her one and asking, and
she'd get the point.

Once again, little subtle, subtextual rituals can communicate volumes
in a marriage.  I'm not trying to demean my wife, belittle her or
insult her intelligence.  But I am making a point of letting her know
that I am observing her behavior and such little things do not escape
my notice or my memory (as she once thought they did).  And lastly I
am making the point that I would much rather lovingly offer her
chocolate for good behavior than, say, get into an argument over
negative behavior.

Yeah, I can use it to be an asshole sometimes.  But she forgives me.
 Hey, I give her chocolate. What's she going to say? 
 
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