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-NukeX- Archive

View 0 posts and 59 comments by -NukeX- on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

One thing with mentioning. Find out how much money you had in your retirement the day before the wedding. I was married for 7 years, but had a substantial amount before we married. That portion is not going to be used during the mediation/calculation. They will even give you credit for gains from that amount.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 12:56 PM
2

Healing from hidden abuse. We were seeing a therapist for a couple sessions and decided to go solo after the ex decided she was done. He pointed out all the abuse I had been going through that I was completely blinded by. Reading that book was like a play by play and really helped me through my journey of self help.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 03:34 PM
3

2022 Suzuki gsxs1000gt+. It's a touring bike that handles like a crotch rocket. Super comfy and plenty of power.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 05:24 PM
8

2 years. Worked on myself, therapy, gym, hiking, hobbies, and learning to love being by myself. I ended up finding someone who was into all the same hobbies I am. Now it's a bonus that we get to do all the things I love together. I still go for solo hikes and solo motorcycle rides, but it's nice having your best friend go with you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 03:23 PM
3

I took two years to myself. I found a therapist, worked on getting in shape, got into hiking, focused on the kids, and learned to love being by myself. I grew more in those 2 years than I ever have. Once I felt happy with who I became, I decided to start dipping my toes into the dating thing.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 06:39 PM
1

I would suggest finding a local hiking group. I was in the same boat, and was struggling to find any friends. I've met so many good people through the hiking group. It's excellent exercise and I've never met anyone that wasn't a good person who enjoys hiking and nature. Not saying they don't exist, but anyone who can appreciate nature and beauty typically means they are a decent human being. Plus, they are all typically in shape. I also found several motorcycle groups to go riding with as well.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 02:53 PM
1

A lot of us here went through the same thing. There is no set timeline for grief and moving through this. The best advice I can give you is what worked for me. It took me 6 months of just being in survival mode. I was barely eating, and couldn't find happiness in anything. It was the lowest I've ever felt. I took the time to find a good therapist. I went through at least 6 until I found a fantastic counselor. Everyone tells you to get into shape, but nobody really tells you how much it actually …
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 02:55 PM
3

I was in the same situation 4 years ago. I was doing everything for the family while she sat her butt in the couch and did nothing. Self esteem went down to nothing. Her narrative was the same as your ex. She was abusing adderall and getting drunk quite often. She started losing her mind and I was awarded emergency custody for something I'd rather not share. The first 6 months were a very dark place. I was ashamed of the failed marriage and just tried to "man up" and deal with it alone. This is …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 12:17 PM
3

I would add hiking if you live near any mountains or waterfalls. The clarity I get from being alone in the woods does wonders for my mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 02:15 PM
6

Vasectomy is scheduled next month.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:33 AM
11

Same situation my friend. What helped me push past all this was several things. One, it's worth it. I'm basically paying for my freedom, and it's worth every penny. It's just money. You will make more. You will make adjustments as needed, but I can assure you, 3 years later, I'm the happiest I've ever been. I used to get so mad every month having to send over that payment, even more so when it's 50-50....but you get adjusted to it. It won't be forever (hopefully in your case). I have 13 years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 05:01 PM
3

This. Mine was trying to take all of mine. I had a large chunk in my 401k before we got married. They can calculate how much money you would have made off that. That should help remove the 401k off the table.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 12:26 PM
2

This. Mine was trying to take all of mine. I had a large chunk in my 401k before we got married. They can calculate how much money you would have made off that. That should help remove the 401k off the table.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 12:25 PM
1

Same boat about 2.5 years ago. Best advice I can give you is to work on yourself. Find a good therapist. This is hard, but stick with looking and seeing several until you find one that clicks. If you haven't seen the movie Stutz on Netflix, highly recommend it. It's a movie by Jonah Hill about his therapist. Lots of good info there. I started focusing on my kids (if you have any) and becoming more active. I got into hiking and met a lot of really good friends that way. Time will heal, but use th…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 04:36 PM
6

I do this daily on the way in to work. OP, if you haven't seen the movie Stutz on Netflix, it gives a lot of good advice from the therapist. Seeing a therapist, getting yourself in better shape, and working on growing your connection with your close friends will make the biggest difference in your life. I started working out and joined several local hiking groups. I've made some amazing friends through the hiking group. Most people who are into hiking tend to be good people.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 05:23 PM
3

Use this as motivation to become the best version of you. Start eating healthy. Start working out. Start finding new hobbies that involve exercise. Start making new friends and find hobbies with others on meetup. Pretend she is gone and start seeing a therapist. I did all of those things. She came back and noticed that I was in the best shape of my life. Women were hitting on me. I love who I became. She even tried to kiss me at the last kid exchange. Just moved away and felt good knowing I'm ou…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 04:06 PM
1

I'm almost 2 years into mine. Was a very toxic relationship that I got away from. I went through a lot of counseling and decided to work on myself first. Once I "graduated" from therapy, I also had been hiking, working out, finding new hobbies, taking myself out solo, etc. I started to get comfortable the week I don't have my kids and being alone. Started to find new ways to work on myself and improve every aspect. Once I did, I started to feel so much better in general, and other people were no…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 01:02 PM
3

Man...this hit so close to home. This was exactly my story. Took about 2 years, but man, I'm in such a better place and realize just how much mental abuse I went through. Went through several self help books and learned to pick up on all the red flags of narcissists. I feel much better prepared to see these early on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 03:38 PM
7

Same happened to me. I refused to let her win. I went through 4 months of absolute misery...until I decided I wasn't going to let her win this. Started therapy. Found an amazing counselor. Started working out. Started eating better. Starting new hobbies. Found new friends through meetup. Starting talking openly with my close friends about everything I was going through. I'm a changed man, and SOOOO much better off now. It's amazing how just finding a good therapist and working out can change you…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 05:18 PM
2

I wasn't trying to flaunt that. I had nothing as well. I was in the lowest spot in my life I've ever been in. I had nobody to talk to. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. When I started therapy, and forcing myself to go out solo, to accept being by myself, starting to exercise, eating right, quit drinking, etc...I started to like myself more. Things started to fall in place. That's when everything turned around. It's easy to give up, but I wouldn't let her win.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 03:12 AM
10

The best revenge is living well. Once you focus on that...man, it will change your life. I was in the same boat...and at my lowest for around 4 months. Found an amazing counselor. I started finding new hobbies. I started working out daily. It's amazing how much better you feel after therapy and getting in shape. Man, looking back, I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm also the strongest and my confidence is through the roof. I get hit on all the time, and not because I'm good looking (just averag…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 07:46 PM
2

Go ahead and talk to a lawyer. Don't agree to anything now. Trust me, it will get worse. She will want more and more and more. Your lawyer will be able to tell you how it should get split.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:22 PM
18

Why is divorce so expensive? ...because it's worth it. I had to do the same thing. Took my L and now I'm removed from the toxic situation. You can't put a price tag on happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 04:24 PM
12

Hate to tell you this, but it's over. Time to start working on yourself. Do you really want to be with someone who tells you they are done, and immediately are talking to other guys? Time to find a good therapist. Do some online searching. Finding a good one makes all the difference. First 4 months will be hell getting adjusted to not having the kids 50/50 (provided you even get that). Start eating better...chances are, you will lose weight anyway due to not wanting to eat. I used this and start…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 05:25 PM
2

I took some time for myself when my divorce started. First 4 months was absolutel hell. Didn't eat, just moped around feeling sorry for myself. Decided since I had lost some weight, I was going to get into shape as well. I also decided the best revenge is living well, and I was going to let her have an effect on me any more. Started working out daily, yoga, hikes, etc. Started seeing a therapist. Read several self help books. Started working on me, taking myself out, enjoying my own company. You…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 07:56 PM
1

How much did you have in your 401k's before you were married? If you can find this value, they cannot take that amount plus the interest you would have made. When we went into mediation, my ex was trying to get mine. I luckily had a good chunk before we got married. She ended up not getting one dime because of that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 12:48 PM
5

Mine was that way and it drove me nuts. She would just come home and throw stuff everywhere. I ended up having to do all the cleaning, outdoor yardwork, and cooking. Now that I have my own house, it stays clean ALL the time. I can't tell you the amount of peace I get coming home to a clean house. If someone comes over, there is never that last minute freak out and cleaning. I've also taught my kids to clean up after playing, so even their rooms are clean.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:57 PM
2

My STBX had 3 affairs, and when we finally signed everything, my lawyer said it was safe to date (about a year). Started up a FWB and she has been spending a lot of time over. The STBX found out and literally flipped her $hit. Been nothing but over the top abusive/evil. She has been dating for months now. I think it's the ole, if I'm not happy, you can't be happy. The better I'm doing in life (which I must say, I'm doing fantastic...dropped some weight, was never really overweight, been working …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 01:50 PM
6

I was in the same exact boat. She came from a very wealthy family because her Dad was a lawyer. They are millionaires and she was spoiled and given everything from day one. She didn't seem materialistic at the beginning, but after we got married, it slowly started to surface. She wanted to quit her teaching job, more money to buy things, hidden bank accounts, wanted the big fancy house, expensive vacations, etc. It got worse, and to top it off, she has mental health issues that I wasn't aware of…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:08 PM
2

Healing from hidden abuse. Fantastic book that really opened my eyes to just how bad it really was.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 10:43 PM
8

I blocked my ex after we started our divorce. Her friends started to show me posts and they were all labeled "#narcissistic recover, etc. Was going through therapy and my therapist started asking me questions and would stop and and guess what the response would be. I was like, how the hell did you know everything that happened. Read a book, and quickly found out, she was the description to a T. Even had her friends come to me and say she was telling them things that didn't sound believable and s…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 03:57 PM
11

This is really good advice. I'm about a year in, and what made the biggest impacts on me was finding an amazing therapist and learning to do stuff solo and enjoying just being by yourself. Sounds easy, and it's definitely not, but now, I look forward to solo time. I take myself out regularly for dinner, movies, comedy shows, hikes, motorcycle rides, etc. It's weird at first, but screw what everyone else thinks. I know I'm an awesome human being.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 03:50 PM
1

Mine was about an 8 when we met. The day we got married was the day she let herself go. Easily gained about 100-150 pounds and turned into a fat blob who sat on the couch and never wanted to do anything with the kids unless it involved drinking. Abused her adderall the entire time, and started losing her mind. Depression, bipolar meds, etc. The beginning of the relationship was pretty decent in bed. That all ended after we got married and turned into the most God awful sex I've ever had...when w…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:00 PM
2

Mine actually tried to kiss me 3 times in front of the kids. I just sort of froze up because I didn't know what to do in front of them. She later texted me about giving me a bj and later on, asked me if I was going to invite her over for a romantic fire in my new LED fireplace I built. I said no on all accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:05 PM
4

Can't forget the Bluetooth system in the helmet. Crank some tunes and get lost in the curves. Love the saying, sometimes you need a few curvy roads to get your head straight.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 10:09 PM
3

Bonus points if you live near mountains. :)
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 07:55 PM
2

Honestly, I was in the same boat as you. My wife was hooked on money and prescription adderall. She ended up having 3 affairs, started losing her mind from abusing adderall, was fired twice in 5 years, and had a mental episode where she talked about potentially doing something bad to the kids (you get the picture). It ate me up, I lost about 20 pounds, and was in a dark place for a while. Finding a GOOD therapist made a huge inpact. I take all this as a lesson I learned, and with all the self he…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 04:00 PM
1

Same in South Carolina! At least I got that part going for me. :)
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:58 PM
3

It will only engrain her to become more of a weight and entitled. Wish I learned my lesson earlier on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:48 PM
2

Man, I was so embarrassed when it happened to me. ...but, honestly, once you start talking about it to your friends, you will see how supportive they will become. It feels good to get it out. It will be a rough several months, but it does get better. I'm almost a year into mine, and we just signed the papers last week. Honestly, it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm 10000% better and happier now. Granted, mine was an addict, was super entitled, did nothing and spent over 21k in hidde…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 05:56 PM
6

She didn't come crawling back, but she has made several comments as to hooking up, spending more time together, hanging out, being friends, and other sexual things. She has also started to badger me constantly about if I'm dating anyone, etc. I have absolutely zero desire to ever EVER have sex with her again. Plus, she has gained about 100 pounds on top of the 75 she gained pretty much after we got married. I just can't even imagine being able to get it up if I wanted to.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 12:45 PM
1

Mine did the same thing with my friends and hers. Turns out, she was making some of the lies too extreme and her friends reached out and said what she had been telling them and seemed untrue and asked my side. They immediately sided with me. My friends of course immediately reached out and said she was full of shit. She even went as far as to try to spread lies to her church group. They immediately decided to cut her out of the group and came up to me and said she was just evil. She had to chang…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 01:49 AM
7

Sounds very similar to me bud. I used to have all these hobbies that just completely died because it would start WWIII every time. I never realized just how important hobbies and time alone without the family is. It's been about a year since we separated (almost divorced) and I have never been happier....kids as well.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 07:42 PM
5

Probably one of the best things you can ever say/do.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:40 PM
4

Walking on eggshells just brought up the past for me too. Never even know what was going on until I spoke with a counselor about everything. Had no idea of all the hidden abuse I was subjected to. I'm about 10 months out now and never been happier. I look back and realize how the hell did I miss all the red flags. Now I've read several self help books about hidden abuse and know how to pick up on the signals.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 07:47 PM
2

She was ordering clothes and purses and having them delivered at her friends house. Yeah, it's insane. Not the first time I busted her either. Hidden credit card too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 10:59 AM
8

Hidden bank account and spent 21k in 1.5 years. 😳
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 11:29 PM
4

Same! Best therapy ever.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 08:01 PM
3

As someone who has gone through the tunnel and came out on the other side.... Divorce seems overwhelming and dark, but using the time you have to find your faults and better yourself for your kids and self is critical in overcoming and flourishing. Divorce is not about the time you don't have with your kids, but using the time you do have to enjoy life by yourself and plan amazing adventures when you do have your kids. Divorce is finally getting your own place and coming home to peace and tranqu…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 02:23 PM
15

I'm currently reading it and have the same response as you. While I'm not over the top a nice guy, there were a lot of things that did apply to me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 06:07 PM
1

Yeah, she told me she had an issue with her prescription pills before we got together, and I never put everything together until she really started to lose her mind and it clicked. She was basically Dr shopping and could only go to certain pharmacies because she wanted a certain kind. My therapist said bipolar medicine can be used as a mood enhancer, but after everything I've seen, she definitely is bipolar or some sort of personality disorder. Sucks it took 8 years to find out, but at least I'm…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 12:56 PM
3

My ex sounds like yours. She was diagnosed with depression and is now on bipolar medicine, though she says she isn't diagnosed and it's being used as a mood enhancer. She was also abusing Adderall for 8 years and that leads to even worse conditions. I'll never get married again though... I'm with you. There is just no need for it. All the risk is on the guys typically, and I refuse to get taken to the cleaners again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 12:03 PM
3

There will still be child support even with 50/50. That's soley based of difference of incomes. If they have around the same income, then there's a possibility of no child support. I'm currently going through it now, and we have 50/50, but I'm paying it since I make so much more than she does.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 05:22 PM
1

I'm nowhere near ready to date, but I see what you are saying. I'm in the same 50/50 boat, so when I have my kids, it's all about the kids. I have zero time for myself except for when they go to bed around 7:15. I take that hour or so to unwind by playing video games, watching netflix, or talking with friends on the phone. I've started cooking big meals on Sundays when I do have the kids, and I involve them in the cooking. They actually enjoy that, and it's a way to spend time with them, and get…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 04:57 PM
11

Currently going through a divorce now. My lawyer said after the day of filing, everything past that is not considered marital assets. So, I can buy a house now, and she wouldn't get anything. I'd still ask your attorney though to make sure...different states may do things differently.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:23 PM
1

Still going through it. Only went to first hearing and granted 50 50 custody until we go through mediation or trial.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 10:52 PM
1

I never thought the ups and downs could be from the adderall. I honestly don't know much about adderall, but I do know my stbx had to go to several dr to get the "right" prescription, and only certain pharmacy stores even carry it. It's not adderall, it's labeled something amphetamine...can't remember the beginning, but has the word amphetamine in it I believe.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:09 PM
1

Currently going down this road. Do NOT move out until you file for divorce. My stbx was asking that I move out for a month to see if we can work on the marriage. If you leave for a month, it's considered abandonment, and will give her the upper hand. She is already probably recording your ever text, call, etc. Mine was abusing adderall, alcohol, and is probably bipolar. She started recording me months before everything went down. I would definitely recommend talking to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 12:38 PM
1

Currently going through a divorce right now. It sounds like it's over. Whatever you do, do NOT move out of your house. It will be considered abandonment. I would also recommend hiring a PI to follow her around to gain evidence. This will be helpful because she will probably try to get alimony and take you to the bank. Turns out my wife was abusing prescription pills, had 3 emotional affairs, and probably a real affair. She also is diagnosed with depression and probably is bipolar. She has alread…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 05:13 PM
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