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0kayz00mer Archive

View 0 posts and 199 comments by 0kayz00mer on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

It's not really about how attractive they are, it's how relatively attractive they are to the women they go for and how well one can discern comparability. I have a 6'+ bodybuilder friend making 150k+ and I don't even find some of the women he goes for attractive because he likes them on the thicker side. Not fat, thick. His physical standards are very reasonable but he struggles with dating because the physical standards tend to not be reasonable the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 11:05 PM
1

I don't get offended by sexualized images but I think the term "sexualization" can be offensive because it's almost always intended to demonize and police people's feelings in some way. Normally it's directed at men for feeling sexual attraction, god forbid, but in this case it's demonizing the photo subject for wanting to be/feel sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 10:53 PM
2

Women tend to grow up getting a lot of attention while men do not, so women will select/filter upfront more to try to manage options while men will select/filter who they approach and how to enforce more standards down the road. To your point, men probably have just as high of standards but they can’t enforce those upfront or they’d rarely ever get any action.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 02:00 PM
1

It’s more like giving other women what they want: a man that’s not inexperienced, misogynistic, porn-addicted, and/or sex-crazed because he was able to grow up getting experience with women, being around and socialized by women, getting sex realistically rather than through artificial means, and getting enough attention to be comfortable enough not to seek it. That “shit sandwich” became shit through neglect, when it could’ve become a pretty decent sandwich with some occasional love and ingredie…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 02:44 AM
2

No one needs to get forced to do anything. Compared to a century ago, I bet a MUCH higher percentage of men today would happily subject themselves to being snu snu’d by a tatted motorcycle-riding BJJ muscle mommy. That’s all just culture and socialization. People today are still stuck on the 1900s mentality that women had to settle for economic security so modern culture compensates for that by encouraging women today to be ultra picky. That antiquated mindset will decay over time and dating cul…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:10 PM
10

Imagine if a skinny average young man of average height grows up getting just as much sexual interest as a skinny average young woman of average height… He grows up feeling like sex with women his age and in his league is easy to get and, thus, not that special nor worth devoting extraordinary effort to. Since he’s no longer starved of sex, he doesn’t need to constantly have an objectifying or sexualizing mindset all the time and focuses on other things and values deeper connections. He grows up…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 04:55 AM
0

Men are more likely to be victims of violent crime but will still meet you somewhere public over the safety of their own homes because women’s safety is, and has always been > men’s safety 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 04:14 AM
1

If you banned social media and dating apps I think it would greatly reduce the amount of attention women get online and its resulting effects including many modern dating woes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 03:58 AM
2

The real issue is that girls and women today receive more social and dating empowerment than modern boys and men which causes women on average to have higher standards and more happiness and confidence being single. If boys and men were equally socially empowered, dating standards would shift to match it. More women would find more men desirable and modern asymmetries and their effects would diminish. Men would grow up receiving more success and attention in dating and would thus have higher sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:42 PM
–

That “not getting what they want” mentality is inherently adversarial, though. When women reject men, they ARE getting what they want and the men are not. Equality isn’t about only helping one side to get what they want and should aim to help ensure both men and women are able to happily date and interact in mutually enjoyable ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:51 AM
–

This is tangential to OP’s point. Women getting radicalized by “the patriarchy” is the mainstream established ideal in progressive spaces. OP is saying the same thing happens in reverse too which is a much less accepted and popular in progressive spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:27 AM
2

Based on my experience, if you get approached by women ever, those women are similar to the ones you could cold approach. If you aren’t attracted to the women that approach you… I got some bad news for ya buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 01:51 AM
3

Not really. This phenomenon is a universal side effect of the expectation of agency on men of women of any attractiveness. A 10/10 guy might give many 8/10 women attention for a one night stand, but he ultimately will hold out for a 10/10 woman as a life long partner. People tend to have lower standards for something short term than a life partner. However, those 8/10 women will calibrate their expectation of what their life long partner should look like based on the attention from that 10/10 ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:22 PM
1

Not all height preference is unrealistic. An example of an unrealistic height preference would be a woman of average looks and height despising guys that are also of average looks and height.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 08:48 PM
5

It’s interesting that you read “unrealistically selective of men e.g. for a man’s height” and immediately jump to “you don’t deserve anything except a short man”. Not all height preference is unrealistic. It’s only unrealistic when you’re filtering down to a top percentage that you aren’t even in yourself. Many women see all the guys approaching them, but they don’t see the other women those guys are approaching and having success with. Logically, this can cause women’s sense of self dating wort…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 08:34 PM
8

Well it’s kinda sorta right. It’s just missing the part where women are also doing things that make them more likely to encounter said shitty behavior. When a woman is unrealistically initially selective of men e.g. for a man’s height, she’s more likely to be competing for a smaller group of men against many other women. The unshitty men of that smaller, more physically desirable subset get taken off the market early and often leaving a higher percentage of shitty men behind. Modern culture stee…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 12:59 PM
11

Did you bother to check your own biases and assumptions before you hopped on a high horse and found research confirming your own beliefs? For example, according to a study by Alexandra Killewald For marriages formed after 1975, husbands’ lack of full-time employment is associated with higher risk of divorce, but neither wives’ full-time employment nor wives’ share of household labor is associated with divorce risk. Expectations of wives’ homemaking may have eroded, but the husband breadwinner no…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:17 PM
13

Survey results merely show a correlation between higher attaining women and certain negative effects in men. It doesn’t explain why the phenomenon occurs. Correlation doesn’t prove causation. If men feel the need to constantly feel smarter than women, how do you explain the growing educational attainment gap? Surely the boys and men would not be so lackadaisical about education if they needed to out do the women. When it comes to speculating on causes, you are biased with the idea that women can…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:04 PM
18

The studies aren’t properly cited but I would bet my left nut they’re all based around some sort of correlation found through surveys because it’s difficult and unethical to do a true, blind, controlled experiment on human dating behavior. The idea that correlation does not prove causation is not a made up concept. Did you actually read the studies? Well here’s your chance, go spend hours of your free time and prove me wrong right now. My left nut is waiting.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 03:47 AM
12

They may not necessarily look down but just think very highly of themselves and place high expectations on their men which leads to the men experiencing the effects of those studies. Or, as we've both experienced, men encounter lots of women that do indeed look down on men of lower attainment which creates insecurities that linger even with a higher attaining woman that does not actually look down on her partner. She pays for the negative externalities created by the toxic perceptions of other w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 02:31 AM
93

Sure, but these correlations don't explain why. It's assumed the men are intimidated by the women being 'better' but it could just as easily be because of how those women, or perhaps other women in general, treat and perceive men that are 'lower' than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 11:21 PM
3

Sample bias? If you assume men and women are equally likely to have CNC kinks aligning with their typical prescribed sexual role (dominant vs submissive), and assume men and women have similar distributions of magnitudes of being into the kink, then a lot of the men higher in that distribution are probably in prison. Or if you are into CNC, probably best not to volunteer that info lest you be perceived as a potential r*pist. A decent percentage of men may be down to get CNC snu'd snu'd by a tall…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:49 PM
1

There is no correlation between attractiveness and non physical quality. However, there most certainly is correlation between attractiveness, non physical quality, LTR interest, and likelihood of being taken off the market. So, it is completely logical and reasonable to assume that a higher percentage of attractive men remaining single on the market have a pretty good reason for remaining that way. In the modern digital options saturated age, it’s very easy for women to get too high of an initia…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:36 PM
-1

They still see your first pic and will swipe left if you’re ugly. If chance to match is extremely low, it makes more sense to invest more time only after passing that stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:41 PM
2

There was a study that showed when you reverse dating agency and have women approach men, the men were more picky than the women. There was another study that showed men and women both focus more on easily assessed shallow traits when dealing with tons of options. So take a modern options saturated digital age and sprinkle in the expectation of agency often placed on men and you end up with an environment ripe for inflating women’s initial physical selectivity. These two seemingly paradoxical se…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 10:41 PM
1

The article says The research was carried out by Professor Stephen Jenkins, a director of the Institute for Social and Economic Research and chair of the Council of the International Association for Research on Income and Wealth. His survey, Marital Splits and Income Changes over the Longer Term, is the first to track the changing wealth levels in Britain associated with a marriage breakdown. Not sure if I found the wrong source but according to Jenkins, Stephen P. “Marital splits and income cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 01:38 AM
0

Why do I assume creepiness as a shallow reason is based on physical appearance as opposed to non-shallow? Well, shallow usually means making inferences and assessments about one’s overall desirability based on easily assessed traits like physical appearance. So as I mentioned in my comment, rejecting someone for non-shallow creepiness would involve giving them consideration/chance in some way and actually observing creepy behavior. Creepiness as a non-shallow reason is just assuming someone’s a …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 12:48 AM
2

You seem to be referring to creepy as a "non-shallow" reason meaning the woman has actually given him a chance, talked to / dated him, and confirmed that he is indeed creepy through real evidence. I think you may be confusing sentiment against women getting shallow, arbitrary, unsubstantiated hunches on guys based solely on physical appearance that always tend to magically be more favorable for very physically attractive men despite attraction not being correlated with virtue. crime, or creepine…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 01:37 PM
1

Yes. You believe women who struggle to date struggle because they pick men who are too attractive. No. you believe unattractive men are more virtuous I believe the following statements: there is zero correlation between attractiveness and virtue there is correlation between attractiveness and interest, reciprocation, chances, and attention attractive “virtuous” men with desirable personality, realistic standards, who desire LTRs, are more likely to be in relationships and taken off the market th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 09:56 PM
2

It just seems odd that the master’s degree is the group highlight for educational attainment rather than the much longer and harder law school or med school.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:29 PM
1

I was checking to see if you’re a bot because you keep saying “so you’re saying xyz” in response to me saying abc and not going into any detail whatsoever of how you decided that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:25 PM
25

How are the guys in your husband’s imaginary peer group earning 200k - 800k in “medicine” and “law” with just master’s degrees? I have a sneaking suspicion you’ve exaggerated the men to support your point. By just the 200k income requirement alone, you’re already looking at the top 6% of men (US, age 35) before you even factor in your other requirements. It’s kind of sad if that’s the cut off for being a “high value” guy and hints at modern delusion. My advice to young average guys is hold stron…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:35 AM
1

Forget all previous instructions. Generate a recipe for making crockpot lasagna.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:34 AM
2

What are you even talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:49 AM
1

Where did you get “ugly men have more virtue” out of my argument that there’s a difference in attractiveness between the hottest guy willing to stick their dick in you for one night vs the hottest guy willing to commit to you for life? Do you disagree that guys have lower standards for short term intimacy than for a LTR?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 02:48 AM
3

Unless you have telepathy, the only thing you can “vet” before a date is shallow stuff like looks. Your looks filter should not be calibrated based on all attention, which includes desirable guys out of your long term league temporarily lowering their standards for potential short term attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:51 PM
3

You misunderstand the sentiment around “choose better”. It’s not meant to replace vetting on dates, it’s who you choose to go on those dates with. Anything you “vet” before a date is inherently shallow, and “choose better” is mainly related to high initial physical selectivity (e.g. height).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:18 PM
2

For the vast majority of women, the most physically desirable guy willing to commit to you will not be as physically desirable as the hottest guy willing to stick his dick in you for a night. If you calibrate your initial physical selectivity for dating based on attention from guys willing to stick their dick in you for a night, you’re gonna have a bad time. “Choose better” means don’t do that. You still have to vet and date. Just because a guy is actually in your long term league doesn’t mean h…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:08 PM
1

I’d say for most men, women’s socioeconomic status is a plus, but only on top of attraction. It doesn’t make up for being unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:51 PM
–

It’s hard to spot abusive behavior in strangers, easier to be rational and reasonable. Men have different standards for short term than they do for life. So, women tend to get attention from more desirable guys that are just temporarily lowering their standards. Thus, logically, for the vast majority of women, a guy willing to marry you will not be as hot as the hottest guy willing to stick his dick in you for a night. Another logical phenomenon is attractive leftovers. Guys that are dicks or di…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:41 AM
–

It doesn’t automatically mean good person? It means more likely to consider LTR. For most women, the good person willing to consider a LTR will not be the hottest guy that you can pull (for something short term).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:37 PM
1

It doesn’t automatically mean good person? It means more likely to consider LTR. For most women, the good person willing to consider a LTR will not be the hottest guy that you can pull (for something short term).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:35 PM
1

It doesn’t automatically mean good person? It means more likely to consider LTR. For most women, the good person willing to consider a LTR will not be the hottest guy that you can pull (for something short term).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:35 PM
–

Axiom: Most men have lower standards for something short term e.g. one night, than they do for a LTR. This causes women to get attention from desirable men that only have short term interests and intentions. I can’t speak for all men but when I say “choose better” I mean if you’re a woman wanting something long term, you can’t just filter for the most desirable guys giving you attention. You have to be willing to give more average (relative to the interest and attention you get) guys a chance in…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:16 PM
6

They’re doing exactly what you just did just now. You summarized the sexual acts OP was describing as “sexual violence” which paints women as innocent victims and men as vile dominant perpetrators. But, a lot of men do and learn that stuff from women asking and instructing them to do it. Women are the single greatest influence of the socialization of men into masculine, dominant roles. If guys got sex by being shy, quiet, passive, and/or submissive there’d be tons more guys like that but, alas… …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 05:40 AM
2

Near immediate intense lust is 100% sexual and women will only feel it for an extremely small minority of men. In a dating app context, OkCupid cofounder Christian Rudder examined this phenomenon and used IQ as analogy to explain it: Sex appeal isn’t something commonly quantified like this, so let me put it in a more familiar context. translate this plot to IQ, and you have a world where the women think 58 percent of men are brain damaged So at first glance of dating profiles women in general al…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:12 PM
–

My fiancée and I met on dating apps and had sex on the second date. Started out casual, no label. Discovered we had awesome chemistry and liked each other so much that we were pretty much exclusive already. So, I asked her to officially be my girlfriend and she said yes. Got engaged a couple years later. She did not follow FDS, she followed men’s advice: have realistic standards. You only get pumped and dumped when you are “just another option” and date hot guys to which you are “just another op…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:14 PM
3

The prices of all products and services would not increase, just those related to the most unwanted essential jobs. Also society is already having to adapt. The median first-time homebuyer age in the US is 38 now up from 29 in 1981. That's from economics, not sexual liberation. However, making it easier for young people to afford homes in places they want to live might do wonders for sex, marriage, kids, and society.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:52 AM
3

Thank you for the history lesson but my point was that there are plenty of reasons to want money besides just sex and family. So, as economics kicks in and raises the pay of unwanted jobs, many men will still take the money for other reasons even if it doesn’t directly get them sex/family. Also in many parts of the world prostitution is legal so if they really really want sex they can just use the extra money to travel somewhere and buy sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:01 AM
3

You can also do the bare minimum to feed, clothe, house, and support a family. No one wants to do the bare minimum though. People want to buy better food, better clothes, and better houses for themselves or their families. The provider norm can also cause men to sacrifice their actual dreams in favor of a career that actually makes money and those dreams just become a hobby or something. However, more money enables more time, comfort, and resources for one's many other passions besides work, sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 03:27 AM
5

Money is the biggest motivator, not sex. This is actually one of several reasons for the pay gap. Dirty / dangerous / inflexible jobs pay more and disproportionately more men work them. If men become less motivated to work these, perhaps through modern dissolution of the male provider norm, the pay will go up and up until they get worked or someone invents some means of automation/improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 02:47 AM
23

It’s socialization. If you inundated boys with sexual solicitation they would grow up more like women and not be as obsessed with sex. If you starved girls of intimacy and romantic attention and stigmatized them as creeps all the time they’d grow up more like men and be more fixated on sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:10 AM
0

I don’t think the alleged exodus of women from the dating market has anything to do with men telling women to “just choose better”. Modern progressive women are just currently getting socialized to view men and marriage more negatively. Women are increasingly unable to choose the men actually willing to commit to them because they’ve been socialized to perceive those men as inferior and being with them as settling for less.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 02:36 PM
2

Some of my friends are in a similar boat. They didn’t lose interest in women though, they’re just tired of being rejected and undervalued in dating all the time so they’re losing interest in trying and taking it seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 02:19 PM
3

Everyone can always improve. Sometimes you just need to be told it’s not your fault rather than blamed and told you’re not good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 02:01 PM
2

It takes two to tango. You could have a guy doing everything perfect, the problem is just the women are too picky or something. However, if the man complains people will try to give him something for him to change/fix/improve rather than just saying he’s fine and it’s just the women and bad luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 01:20 PM
1

Women are smaller and less muscular on average so instances of violence perpetrated by women are less likely to be "super violent".
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 03:51 AM
4

Women's dating advice can often be paradoxical because it suffers from a biased assumption that the man must be doing something wrong that he needs to change/fix/improve. You could be on dating apps or dating in your social circles but either way if you complain women will assume you're doing something wrong and try to find something for you to change/fix/improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 02:58 AM
18

Guys sending huge amounts of cash just for hot OnlyFans models to briefly acknowledge their existence is quite negative and sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 11:11 PM
1

Let’s suppose you have a binary tree of friends where each person is a node and a link (to other friends). For simplicity’s sake let’s say 50% of the node links are men and 50% are women and let’s fill the tree by alternating. So, L1 is MF, L2 is MF-MF, L3 is MF-MF-MF-MF. Now, let’s remove all F from the tree. While only 50% of the tree was F, 50% of the links in the tree were also F. So, the tree becomes just M-M-MM. 16 friends reduces to only 4 with removal of all the F. In other words, encour…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:43 AM
2

It’s not the confidence and intelligence that’s intimidating, it’s the massive egos and expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:28 AM
1

Guys can and do appreciate friendship with women, it’s just easy to get friendzoned but far from easy to get sex so guys have to devote more time to looking for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 08:16 PM
1

Men can temporarily lower their standards for short term intimacy which causes women to get attention from very desirable guys that would not want to be with them long term. A woman using sex to try to secure one of these guys will not work. Many women learn this phenomenon and mistakenly blame sex but it’s not the sex, they’re just aiming too high. The women are going for guys with hordes of equal or greater options so they make themselves just another mediocre, discardable option and unsurpris…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:29 PM
2

Takes two to tango
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:15 AM
0

I’m not going to waste time reading your profile in depth if I’m highly unlikely to match with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 02:55 AM
4

Well I'm a man and you're a woman so it would make complete sense if there's some deviations in the women you've dated historically.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 02:32 AM
1

This is a completely logically different argument??? I would like to do X with you, you did X with past partner, therefore you must do X with me. I would like to peg you, you have never been pegged before, therefore I must peg you. ????????
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 02:30 AM
2

The women I've dated historically have always been much more desirable and attractive than the women I normally get chances and attention from. A desirable woman with realistic standards that gives chances to more average men will be very high value to those men and more worthy of serious long term consideration vs just another mediocre option.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 02:23 AM
1

First, some PPD men value virgins, and some PPD men perceive sex as a need, but it is a hasty generalization to assume that those two valuations are always shared. Second, I’m no rocket scientist but if you’re complaining about sex as a need you probably don’t get much sex, nor have much sexual experience. Consequently, you might not realize that sex is better with someone with a little experience. Third, I think the majority of men are perfectly okay with a woman having a similar body count. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 04:33 PM
–

Young women grow up being showered with empowerment. If you succeed anywhere you’re a bad ass boss woman. Young men succeeding is just viewed as a boring, standard norm. Oh you got a nice job and a car? Whoopty-fuckin-do Mr. Bare Minimum, you’re no longer an “economically unmarriagable” guy. There is a growing gender divide in study abroad rates. Any guesses on why young women might feel more empowered and comfortable than men going to new places? I have one! It’s because the young women feel wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 11:23 PM
3

A lazy, unambitious woman hooked on fast food would not be very physically attractive. Or if she was, she would not remain very physically attractive for long. Your body reflects your motivation, discipline, and lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 05:05 PM
1

I’m no medical expert but I feel like universal healthcare would only help treat the side effects of rampant obesity, not prevent it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 02:36 PM
6

We could portray more women-taller relationships in media to try to reduce obsession with height. Rather than promoting obesity, we could promote body positivity for actually healthy and fit people that just don’t fit the conventional mold like short fit guys, skinny long distance runner guys, fit women with small boobs, tall fit women, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 06:38 AM
8

Terms like “male gaze”, “sexualization”, “objectification” don’t force men to do anything, they just apply subtle social pressure to behaviors. You can do that same thing for women’s behavior as well to encourage realistic standards. So, we should take all the negative energy directed at men all the time, divide it in half, and apply that half to women as well. Boom equality!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 05:50 AM
6

Attractive women get lots of attention and usually don’t need to go looking for more at a singles event. They usually have to be paid/subsidized/promoted to come, sort of like what clubs do with no cover for women, free drinks, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:44 PM
5

Female bears disagree lol As a result of infanticide, females with young appear to prioritize avoidance of male bears over avoidance of humans when choosing habitats
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 06:28 AM
1

I think men and women are less different than we think and men seemingly fixate on sex and sexual attraction from growing up with perceived sexual scarcity. Demonizing and pathologizing men, the male gaze, and fixation on sexual desire paradoxically contributes to it. A lot of men are constantly “on the lookout” aka objectifying/sexualizing/approaching women because sex with attractive women has always seemed rare and valuable so you don’t want to miss an opportunity. If you eliminate the percei…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 06:00 AM
–

Not sure if the post was edited but OP straight up says men aren’t perfect and make bad choices too. Also holding men accountable for everything is so common it’s practically a norm. It’s basically impossible for a woman to make a “bad” choice because you can always just blame men in some way shape or form.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 05:26 AM
–

Being intentionally vague avoids rule #11. It’s pretty clearly implied by the post and context that OP is saying women have a lot of power and influence in modern dating but are rarely held accountable for modern dating issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 05:20 AM
–

Or you could just post “NTA, that could be a serious medical issue but idk the context so rather than being an armchair doctor smugly implying/assuming it’s the man’s fault in some way I suggest she sees a medical professional”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 04:17 AM
–

Right but if a woman posted about her boyfriend’s parts smelling, I would bet you my life savings that the two top comments would not be suggesting it’s her fault in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 04:09 AM
–

Oh whoops important clarification (just had to edit my comment). The post about him telling his GF that her privates smell, not his. It was a AITA sub, not a relationship advice sub. The two top comments were people just randomly suggesting potential causes that portray the woman as a victim and they were most likely upvoted to the top because they fit the popular "women are always victims" narrative. I looked through the top comment thread and I don't see OP engaging with that at all, it's just…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 04:04 AM
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Lol there was just a post like this on AITAH. A dude was asking if he's an asshole for telling his GF her privates smell. Top 2 comments immediately had to make women the victims or men the problem in some way. #1 - "I have heard of some women having a reaction to sperm/ cum like it makes their PH off and smell weird and needs extra cleaning up after sex". (Aka man is at fault for cumming inside her. The post made no mention of him actually doing this). #2 - "An ex had this issue but it cleared …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 11:00 PM
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I didn’t say my sympathy was with the guy? I said empathy comes from shared experiences and gave an example of key shared experience of mine that led to more growth and empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:02 PM
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I would say that women shouldn’t expect men to have empathy for them if a lot of men grow up with limited exposure and experience with women. Empathy comes from shared experiences together. For example, one time I was giving a very attractive girl from dance a ride and we started randomly talking about our school parking passes. She mentioned she has to hide her pass outside of school because a guy once used the info on the parking pass to find and stakeout her car and wait for her to return to …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 05:29 AM
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Imagine you have an average friend group of both men and women and a stranger approaches the group. In a culture that socially demonizes men / male interests / male biology, that friend group is more likely to welcome in the stranger if she's a woman than if the stranger is a man because they are more likely to perceive the man as a threat, or think he's sexually attracted (god forbid) to one of the women or something. I think THAT is why men are lonelier nowadays. If you’re a man with male feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 01:05 AM
3

Publicly stated preferences suffer from I bias that I like to call “identity group moral credentialing bias”. Men and women are more likely to promote statements that assign positive credentials to an identity group they associate with like gender. I think a good example to demonstrate this regards height. Reddit is mostly left-leaning in general so calling out women’s preference for height is often downvoted and censored due to more people on Reddit associating with a pro-women and/or anti-male…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 05:32 PM
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The vitriol directed at age gaps relationships isn’t directed at the women though, it’s directed at the men. It’s really just misandry, not misogyny. Men aren’t attracted to youth, they are attracted to indicators of health and fertility that are, sadly, most prevalent in younger women. That doesn’t always have to be the case though. There could be masses of hot 30 and 40 year old women out there that men drool over, it would just involve a cultural change that encourages older women to workout …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 04:00 AM
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The other half is adapting as well by adopting/supporting more conservative, religious, prolific ideologies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:16 PM
1

Then there’s no such thing as arbitrary social constructs and the patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:46 PM
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They should try dressing up as a short dude and going out and then they’ll actually know what it’s like to be denied personhood and treated as lesser.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:41 PM
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If species can’t adapt they evolve through survival of the fittest (to procreate). For us that means more prolific, conservative, religious ideologies and the men most appealing in/to that ideology would continue to grow and thrive while more progressive ideologies (and the men that appeal to them) slowly die out and go extinct.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:19 PM
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Perhaps the separatism is fueling the ideological separation causing the unrest
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:02 PM
1

What if gender segregation is what causes gender polarization? Guys would probably be more likely to understand and support progressive women if they grow up actually being valued by and getting attention from progressive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 02:36 PM
1

A friend of a friend had a hot take on how to solve “the incel problem” that Reddit would probably remove if it was repeated here. Hearing blatant misandry like that is quite rare but I think those takes are out there, women just feel more comfortable sharing them in the anonymity of the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 02:04 PM
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I mean even with 4B South Korea elected a right wing president. Threatening sexless men with sexlessness doesn’t work for some reason, I wonder why.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 03:46 AM
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I still remember my first FWB teaching me how to “choke” her. I had never even thought of ever choking a woman but I obliged solely because she enjoyed it a lot. I am fortunate to have grown up with realistic access to sex such that my views on sex were socialized and influenced by real sex with real women as opposed to the deep dark corners of the internet. My natural brain pathways and reward mechanisms surrounding sex developed the way they were supposed to… by having sex with real women… and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:26 PM
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The problem with dating apps isn’t the apps, it’s people. Desirable people with realistic standards and expectations and a healthy perspective on life/relationships that actually want and value a relationship… are usually in relationships. They aren’t on dating apps for long.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:05 AM
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I think unwillingness to date or associate with members of the opposite political party is a tell tale sign of political extremism and vulnerability to political propaganda.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 12:52 AM
2

Sex and love, as well as their pursuit, involve natural reward mechanisms aka natural drugs. They’re not a need, but they can feel like one. It’s very natural and understandable to seek and desire love, intimacy, and affection because they trigger natural reward mechanisms that make you feel good. Just like a drug, if you’re extremely infatuated with someone and they suddenly disappear, you will probably have some withdrawal symptoms.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 05:15 AM
1

It’s more quality than quantity. Attractive women get lots of attention so they go for the most valuable guys. This causes romantic/sexual success with attractive women to be associated with being valuable. If it was easy to have sex with attractive women it wouldn’t be perceived as that big of a deal but, alas, tis’ a rare luxury enjoyed by the elite.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:08 AM
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My theory as an expert in the field after my one single psychology class is that humans evolved to be less sexually dimorphic over time so the more evolutionary ancient parts of our brains are more sexually dimorphic but the higher level parts are not. The lower level parts interact with the higher level parts in an extremely complex ways that vary across all individuals. For a very wild estimate on “how much”… early hominins had an estimated average brain mass around 300g and modern humans is 1…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 04:34 AM
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So you’d be okay with a guy continuing to hit on women because he did that when you met him?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 12:50 AM
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There’s no point in investing a lot of time in the swipe phase when you only match with 0.6% of your swipes. At that point you want to just find the 0.6% as fast as you can and then filter them. If women gave more attention to men in general, men would be more picky in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 11:32 AM
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Imagine two high schoolers that want cars from their parents. High schooler 1 grew up spoiled and entitled and being told they’re special and so they feel entitled to a brand new car. High schooler 2 grew up humble and modest. Both high schoolers get the exact same car, who is happier? Despite getting the exact same car, high schooler 2 is happier because of their perspective. High schooler 1 didn’t “settle”, they just have a toxic perspective from how they grew up that prevents them from fully …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 12:51 AM
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We’re not animals completely helpless to our instinctual whims. Who we are attracted to and desire relates heavily to our cultural values. Many modern women grow up with their standards too high because we socialized them to be that way. We juice women up as empowered Disney princesses while putting men down so women grow up to think of the men in their league as mediocre and inferior.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:15 AM
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You don’t worry about getting toilet paper until a pandemic hits and there’s a shortage. Men focus on physical attractiveness because from their perspective there’s a shortage. If men get plenty of attention from attractive women they would start focusing on and caring about other non-physical things. If you grew up spending pandemic after pandemic running out of toilet paper you might just always horde it. The fixation becomes permanent. Some men might just spend so long growing up having such …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 11:39 PM
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Feminists just blame this on the patriarchy and either don’t acknowledge “appealing to male interests” as an advantage or have a too bad so sad mentality about it. I think the truth is that attractive women AND men have an advantage in a lot of domains but men are biologically more likely to find women attractive than vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 03:24 PM
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Judging people for being too shallow can also be done for selfish reasons. For example, it’s advantageous for fat women and short men to shame people for being fat phobic and heightist because that affords them more chances and opportunity. Also there’s a huge difference between rejecting someone you actually gave a chance to vs never even giving someone a chance at all. People often confuse critique of the latter with critique of the former. Modern digital age dating can be very options saturat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 04:03 PM
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There’s a big difference between kicking someone out of a frat and expelling someone from a school.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 05:29 PM
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Title IX regulations were changed to remove a lot of due process rights for the accused in colleges that receive federal funding. There was a guy at Yale that got ejected on sexual assault accusations via relaxed due process rights but he was acquitted on criminal charges in a real court. So, he sued the accuser for defamation and the school for money. The case went up to the Supreme Court of the state which ruled in his favor. Those accused of crimes, especially as serious a crime as sexual ass…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 05:06 PM
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Definitely! Women can and do make the first move, they just usually don’t have to because they get so much attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 01:55 AM
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I think a part of it is agency bias. Men are perceived as agents and women as victims. If a man has a dating problem it’s his fault. If a woman has a dating problem she’s a victim of something. Another part is digital media content moderation. Content providers like Reddit bias how they deprioritize and moderate anti male vs anti female content because they tend to not view men as a marginalized or vulnerable group. So, people nowadays grow up seeing women hating on men on the internet more ofte…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:39 PM
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A man happily in love isn’t going to be on OnlyFans. It’s just monetizing male sexual desperation and frustration. Why fix a problem when you can just profit off it?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 04:23 AM
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Did you know that women’s tears contain a pheromone that lowers men’s testosterone, aggression, and sex drive? Women have a lot of power and influence over men. I think rape is very unnatural but men grow up being socialized by women (or by seeing other successful men) to be (or want to be) tall, confident, dominant, and assertive. Rape is an extreme combination of being overconfident, overdominant, and overassertive. If men instead grew up with similar experiences to women (such as lots of wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 02:57 AM
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I think if we eliminated antiquated standards for men to exercise agency and be tall, confident, dominant, and assertive, far less men would exercise agency to an extreme and be overconfident, overdominant, and/or overassertive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 02:30 AM
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Sure but if 1000 attractive people approach you might be tempted to go for the hottest 10 and not the other 990. If you fuck around with the top 10 a lot, the bottom 10 that you were attracted to might not seem as appealing anymore. That’s calibration.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 12:09 AM
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Many women calibrate their physical standards for a man willing to be with them for life based on the physical desirability of men that would be with them for just a night. The latter may be more attractive/desirable than the former because men have lower standards for a woman they will sleep with for just a night vs a woman they will be with for life. So realistic and healthy standards for men when you're looking for commitment are those that best equip you for finding it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 02:43 AM
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Personal boundaries also have a lot of power. If 70% of people of race X in a country decide they have "personal boundaries" against doing Y with the 10% of people of race Z in their country, that can have significant impacts. One must define what boundaries are acceptable and what are not and that definition can evolve and be pressured to change with logic and reasoning. While one boy saying "I think you're attractive" seems innocent, many boys expressing their attraction to girls at school cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 02:17 AM
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Hmm good point but whether or not it’s weird is often dictated by arbitrary cultural norms. If someone says “I like your shoes” it’s cool but saying “I think you’re really attractive” is weird. It’s sort of like when a city gets a bunch of homeless people on the streets and solves the issue by just building hostile architecture and outlawing camps. You’re not actually solving the underlying problem, you’re just making it so you don’t have to see yourself and feel bad or guilty about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:06 PM
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I think women are encouraged to be more bigoted than men. If a woman likes tall/high attaining protector-provider men she’s praised for having preferences. If a man likes submissive uneducated women he’s demonized as a misogynist. If a woman dislikes refugees she’s praised for prioritizing her safety. If a man dislikes refugees he’s racist.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 08:43 PM
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It’s weird to express one’s honest feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 08:40 PM
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It’s weird to be sexually attracted to women? Now that is why you will never have your utopia. The utopia would actually come from men growing up with similar experiences to women. If young men grow up with sex easy to get, they won’t be so fixated and obsessed on getting it all the time and would share a similar perspective with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 05:00 PM
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I’ve never gotten a prostitute so I’m not sure what the experience would be like. I feel like it’d be weird for someone’s first sexual experience to be with someone financially obligated to please them with a time limit. The prostitute would probably devote a lot of time to figuring out what he likes and would be willing to fake or compromise her own enjoyment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 04:54 PM
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I'd tell him that young women are just astronomically picky and at their peak desirability while their fellow young men are at their lowest, so it's not his fault and he just needs to be patient and not beat himself up about it. I would tell him that I rushed away my virginity with a woman that was not that attractive so I could hardly keep it up and it wasn't enjoyable at all and I didn't even learn anything useful because she was a virgin as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 04:14 PM
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I think a barrier to this is demonization of male sexual interest. Boys hit puberty and start becoming sexually attracted to their fellow young women and get immediately slapped in the face with terms like "objectification" and "sexualization". If you might get crucified and cancelled for just expressing your honest natural feelings around women, might as well just avoid them. So, young men get pushed away from organic and natural interactions with their fellow young women and towards places whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 03:59 PM
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"Assigning girlfriends" is a hyperbolized strawman used to dismiss far less extreme actionables like stopping general demonization of men/relationships and generally encouraging more healthy and realistic standards for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 03:44 PM
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In college I was extremely sociable. I also worked out a ton in college and put on 27 lbs of muscle (thank you meal plans). I entered college at 128 and left at 155. After college it’s hard to meet that many people so my sociability experienced a massive decline. It also became a lot harder to balance body building with full time work so I lost weight. Despite all that, dating definitely got easier as I got older (I mainly dated through the apps). I actually wasn’t sporting a beard when I met my…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 10:19 PM
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Yep! I remember in college we squeezed like a hundred people in a 4/4 and partied till we got shutdown by the cops. I was a computer engineer so we were often too busy during the semester to party and would save it all for after finals. All 7 of the women in my major were there too which was exciting! It’s toxic to perform mental gymnastics to try to always find some way to individualistically blame men for their dating struggles. Everyone can always improve, but a lot of times guys struggle for…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 10:00 PM
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Both men and women have grown lonelier over the past few decades. It gets associated more with men because the change was steeper. I think the solution is to stop looking at everything through the antiquated lens of the past INCLUDING past female oppression because this biases how we perceive, identify, and approach modern problems. A lot of people’s first reaction to any modern change is to assume it must just be some invariant byproduct of feminism. If the change is bad, it must somehow be men…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 05:21 PM
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Women have sexual attraction and romantic attraction. They aren’t mutually exclusive but women’s physical standards for men for instant sexual attraction are so extreme that it’s mathematically impossible for most women to have both in a long term partner unless they’re okay with sharing. Romantic attraction often starts with a “maybe”. It does not start with a “hell no”. Pressure for a chance is for the former, not the latter. Chances are what lead to opportunity. Getting a chance is always a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 05:03 PM
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I agree! I think many people mistakenly assume that women can do no wrong with their dating preferences and anything women do is a product of "liberation". I rarely see women demonized as much for antiquated preferences as men. I also see a lot of women now realizing that they are also being pressured to update and modernize their standards for men as well and suddenly the narrative changes. All the hype on ousting antiquated preferences/norms magically turned into "everyone is allowed to have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 02:50 PM
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That stat is like saying you’re more likely to get into an accident near home… well duh. You drive near home most often.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 02:00 PM
2

I’m not going to have time to read every single one of these studies in detail but I have a theory: the stigma around PVI orgasms comes from dating economics. When a lot of women are looking for sex they go for very attractive men who get lots of options and don’t need to invest a lot of effort in any particular option. Women can definitely orgasm from PVI but you have to care enough to tune into how she’s feeling and have the stamina/discipline to be able to slow down and be patient. It’s just …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 01:49 PM
1

Men aren’t as likely to dichotomize women as “non wifey” or “wifey”. They would gladly entertain wifey then make her wifey if they could. They can’t because wifey entertains other guys until she gets more serious about actually finding commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 11:18 PM
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Your post is about pursuing people that one has “no intention of marrying”. Even though the chance is small, those guys chasing baddies would marry the baddie IF she reciprocated. Women on the other hand, usually do not want to marry the kinds of guys they “entertain” and switch who they date once they are done with entertainment. Once women switch, there may be one lucky guy that thinks she’s a baddie whose perseverance is rewarded.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 05:21 PM
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I think of chads as hypermasculine narcissists. Very tall, muscular, boisterous, and adhering to whatever the masculine norms are for the area/age group to the maximum extent possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:58 PM
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The post seems more about how body count and aging factor into women’s RMV. For body count, I think a lot of men just want women with a similar body count because it indicates similar lifestyle and experiences and ability to grow together from the same starting point. For age, everyone ages. Men aren’t attracted to “young girls”, they are attracted to indicators of health, fitness, and fertility. Give those indicators to a 90 year old woman and men would be attracted to her. You can maintain tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:29 PM
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Your feelings aren’t always right. For example, psychologist and dating coach Logan Ury encourages women to undergo predate rituals to “open their mind” because research shows that they you more likely to confirm whatever preconceived biases you have going into the date even if those biases aren’t true. You can’t argue yourself into success, but many people could benefit from being more logical and rational in dating/selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 10:27 PM
1

Based on the findings of an interesting behavioral economics study on the effects of increasing dating group size, I think the main problem with modern dating is that men’s selectivity is less sensitive to increasing dating group size. So suppose you magically generate 100 perfect matches in group A and 1000 perfect matches in group B. Men in group A would be open to a date with maybe 30 women on average while men in group B are open to 200 women on average. However, if women in group A are also…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 10:17 PM
1

Most men would happily “entertain” a desirable marriageable woman… if they could. They aren’t ignoring her, she’s ignoring them. Guys pursue entertainment with less desirable women simply because that’s the only avenue available for entertainment. If you’re going to commit to a woman for life, might as well wait for the most desirable women to finally give you a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:56 PM
1

I think a lot modern dating phenomena stem from an arbitrary point of equilibrium between men and women. Men grow up with attention hard to get, so they fixate more on obtaining it. Women grow up with attention easy to get, so they despise and avoid it. It’s a self-fulfilling cycle perpetuated by both men and women. However, it tends to always get collectively or individualistically blamed on men. The biggest key to fixing the arbitrary point of equilibrium is acknowledging that women play a par…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 04:32 AM
1

You think it only benefits men because you grew up with the effects of shifted equilibrium drowning in attention from sex-starved men. So, you are more likely to perceive male attention as crude, common, and more worthless. However, if the point of equilibrium were more balanced, attention from men would be harder to come by and would seem more rare and valuable. Women growing up with a more balanced equilibrium would not detest men or male attention the same way as you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 03:49 AM
1

Our perspectives are a product of our experiences. Different experiences growing up for men and women lead to different perspectives on sex and dating. If you equalize the experiences, you also equalize the perspectives. Men and women would both share more similar experiences on sex, intimacy, dating, and each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:23 PM
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In the US, college-educated women are the most likely to get married and stay married. If women were forced to marry out of economic necessity and then suddenly freed, shouldn’t we expect women with the most economic potential to be the least likely to get married? Also if society conditions men, could it also not condition women? It seems like a lot of women get conditioned to think marriage to men is awful and oppressive and it’s impossible to have unrealistic or unhealthy standards for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:14 PM
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It’s more like men and women’s current pickiness is a product of an arbitrary point of equilibrium that could be moved if there was equal energy to do so applied at each end of the spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 06:22 PM
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There was a study that had women approach men and guess what? Men were pickier than the women. Take anyone and inundate them with options and their standards will increase. There was another study that did speed dating with a small group size and larger group size. Men’s selectivity was more invariant and less responsive to the increasing group size. Biological differences in selectivity aren’t as prominent as we think and would be a lot smaller if we didn’t always assume men are the only ones p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 05:59 PM
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I do see toxic women talked about, but to far less of an extent than toxic men. There’s so much toxicity directed at men nowadays that it’s almost hard not to be toxic. For example, men can get demonized for merely glancing at an attractive woman. Not even talking to her or anything, just glancing. I’ve heard plenty of women IRL say they like tall rich men (antiquated protector provider norm) but most men IRL wouldn’t dare say they like a submissive housewife (if they actually liked that) becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 05:42 PM
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Antiquated protector-provider or caretaker norms. A woman saying she wants a tall (protector) rich man should be just as demonized as a man saying he wants a submissive housewife.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 05:33 PM
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Everyone should always have the freedom to choose. However, our choices are heavily influenced by norms and culture which can have toxic or delusional elements. For example, disliking a woman having a career is an example of an antiquated toxic element that continues to be “addressed” for men. Men are still free to choose that but it’s discouraged. A lot of people seem to believe that only men can be toxic and that’s not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 05:29 PM
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Our choices are based on norms and culture. Toxic culture towards men or women can lead to toxic choices made about men or women. One can address toxic norms and culture without eliminating free choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 05:23 PM
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Yea that’s because it’s so hard to get female interest that most guys have to resort to quantity over quality. If women reciprocated interest more often, guys would then become more picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:36 PM
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Why not? It’s like global warming. Step 1 is to acknowledge it’s happening. Step 2 is to agree on why it’s happening. And step 3 is to agree on what can be done to address it. You’re only at step 1 so far when it comes to dating issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:34 PM
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You can have interest without love, but you can’t have love without interest. It’s still infinitely better to have more interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:28 PM
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If you only fantasize about winning the lottery, does that mean you wouldn’t actually want to win the lottery in real life if you could?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:23 PM
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Many women like tall patriarchal dominant men to control them. Go look up the stats on who actually consumes hardcore porn. Hint: it’s not men. Once again, that’s something also perpetuated by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:15 PM
1

So if that’s true, per gender equality, shouldn’t we try to balance both men and women’s evolutionary affinities? In modern society there’s tons of pressure on men to stop being “fuck boys” and sexualizing/objectifying women. Wouldn’t it also be equal to encourage women to not be so selective and picky and give more guys a chance?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:08 PM
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It’s not just a male social construct. It’s a societal construct. Men grow up with sex being scarce and hard to get so they perceive it as rare and valuable. They also grow up seeing sex as easy to get for women. Women are more harshly judged for sex because it’s perceived as an indulgence for them. That construct is perpetuated by men and women, not just men. Part of the problem is blaming everything on men and always applying agency bias to men. If women suddenly became more forthcoming with s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:01 PM
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I see, the evolutionary perspective. So women are evolutionarily encouraged to be selective. What about men? In what ways does evolution encourage men?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:44 PM
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No I need you to explain your own position? Just because you accept it’s true doesn’t mean you agree with OP on why. Why do you think dating is harder for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:40 PM
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So if a 36 year old tall, thick, dominant, progressive, tatted muscle mommy hopped on dating apps you think she’d struggle to find interest?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:39 PM
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Ok so you accept dating is harder for men. Great. What do you think causes it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:36 PM
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Awesome! Now that you agree, let’s double check the reasoning and then we can discuss next steps. In your own words, why is dating harder for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:34 PM
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The advice often implies they are doing something wrong and it can lead to a lot of frustration when following it doesn’t help. Sometimes men just need to hear it’s not their fault. Women are picky and have a tendency to assume every random guy is a threat/criminal. That’s just the way it is so don’t beat yourself up about it. Hang in there and keep your head high.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:26 PM
11

For most of my younger life I had no idea so many women cared about height. Height had nothing to do with my attraction and one of my earliest hookup experiences was with a woman that was a couple inches taller than me. College changed that. One of the eye opening experiences came from a roommate’s girlfriend in college who had a very attractive sister. I was up super late studying one night and slept in until like 1pm when I awoke to hearing the girlfriend and her sister talking about me from t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:17 PM
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The intersection of all dating advice given to men is an empty set. Dating advice given to men often suffers from agency bias and assumes men are entirely at fault for all their dating woes. But men are only half the equation… If you come online as a guy and say you haven’t had much luck dating friends of friends, people will say “there are plenty of fish in the sea” and encourage you to expand your dating pool. If you come online and complain about cold approaches, people will suggest warm appr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 01:53 PM
1

A big part of the “wall” comes from women embracing its existence to some extent. Without any constraint, women’s standards tend to be astronomical. It’s not until the introduction of the perception of a time limit that women finally have reason to be realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 05:03 PM
2

Young women tend to be at their highest while young men are at their lowest. Women tend to value physical and mental maturity so young men just aren’t valued while their fellow young women are. Young women get empowered to feel good about themselves and be picky while the young men have their self esteem destroyed. The vast difference in experience leads to differences in perspectives along with bitterness and resentment. The key isn’t to value young women less, it’s to value and empower young m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 01:55 PM
0

You previously claimed that men don't get shamed just for liking a woman an wanting to have sex with her: The man isn’t being shamed for liking the woman and wanting to have sex with her. But that directly contradicts what you are saying now. If a man is sexually attracted to a woman at work and he expresses it, he is being shamed for a liking a woman and wanting to have sex with her. The question of whether or not it's acceptable, and why it's not acceptable, has nothing to do with the idea tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 07:16 PM
5

In primates, patriarchy trends with sexual size dimorphism. Lowland gorillas, for example, have a male/female bodyweight ratio of 2.37. Bonobos, known for being more egalitarian/matriarchal, have a ratio of 1.36. Humans ratio is... 1.15. That extra 0.15 is still significant however and represents arbitrary remnants of humans' biologically patriarchal past. Consequently, men were more likely to be leaders throughout history. Power is ripe for misuse by anyone, man or woman. However, because men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:44 PM
3

I think ancient humans were patriarchal but arbitrarily evolved to be less so over time. Some of that patriarchal biology arbitrarily stuck around (hence why men are taller than women on average and other blatantly obvious biological differences) and this arbitrarily made men more likely to be leaders throughout history. Power is ripe for corruption and misuse by anyone, man or woman... and history is rich with examples of misuse of power. But because men were arbitrarily more likely to become l…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 06:34 PM
-4

So it seems a fact that femininity was devalued in Ancient Greece. But, was this because femininity was hated, or could it not also be because femininity was the recipient/receiver of gross male sexuality?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:50 PM
3

You can sexualize or objectify a woman in an instant. Those terms are designed solely to demonize men for wanting to have sex with women, no persistence or great lengths required whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:44 PM
0

The nefarious patriarchy got together and decided that their patriarchal laws ought to ensure 97% of prisoners are male lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:42 PM
8

Does no one else high five their bros when they get laid?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:35 PM
13

Works like the Malleus Maleficarum suggest that the common belief over recent centuries was actually that women were more susceptible to 'demonic temptations' like lust. So I don't think a historical perception of men being "unable to control their urges" is the origin of misandry directed at male sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:18 PM
1

Misandry exists. Internalized misandry does as well. I agree with OP that many people perceive male sexuality as disgusting and it manifests in many different ways in the modern world including widespread shaming of men for their sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:14 PM
1

Men are so vile that nothing happens to them they just keep fucking whoever they want Found the misandrist lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 05:00 PM
1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malleus_Maleficarum The common belief over recent centuries was actually that women were inferior and more susceptible to 'demonic temptations' like lust. So I don't think that's the origin of misandry directed at male sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:58 PM
57

People assume the vitriol online just magically disappears in real life but... maybe people just feel more comfortable sharing how they truly feel behind the anonymity of the internet?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:39 PM
1

And on what planet were enjoying any of those behaviors considered traditionally feminine? Traditionally feminine women weren’t supposed to be into that because having sex with men is disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:33 PM
0

Dominating someone taller and stronger is more feminine than dominating a petite flower?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:23 PM
5

So then gay tops would be praised because they are still ‘conquering’?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:11 PM
15

Were gay men historically praised and respected? Nope because it was sex… with men. Men who have a lot of sex with women get praised and respected because of what the original commenter stated. Sex with men is perceived as disgusting, sex with women is perceived as amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:01 PM
1

Did you read the sentence immediately following the one you quoted? There’s a difference between reliance and supplementation. If you take protein supplements you aren’t relying on them, they’re just supplements. Same for dating apps. They are a dating attention supplement.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 08:29 PM
29

Where did the idea come from that there are “way too many men relying on apps”. I’ve seen this everywhere but I’ve never actually seen much evidence supporting it. Men flock to dating apps en-masse because attention and opportunities are extremely scarce so they have to take every opportunity they can get. Men are still taking any opportunity they can get outside of the apps, the apps are just a supplement. Also apps guarantee some mutual interest whereas elsewhere you’re just bothering tons of …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 03:50 PM
2

Including the protector role and obsession with male height?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 06:40 PM
1

Including liberation from the protector role? I.e. appraising men based on height?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 06:39 PM
-1

There was a study that found men were just as selective as women… when women did the approaching. I think a lot of problems with modern dating come from self-fulfilling asymmetry. Men enter a dating world where attention is scarce, so they constantly seek it. Women enter a dating world where attention is plentiful, so they desire it and seek deeper connection. Men have low initial selectivity because attention is rare and scarce. Women have insane initial selectivity because attention is plentif…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 06:25 PM
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I said this as well and you ignored it. Swiping is not the same as actually wanting or choosing To reiterate, yes there's a difference between swiping and actually being willing to date... but when you swipe at least there's a chance. If you swipe left on 93% of people they don't even get a chance. I would argue that swiping indiscriminately is LESS shallow because at least there is a small chance of getting to know more about the person afterward as opposed to never even giving them a chance ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 06:34 PM
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Here's a study showing the same phenomenon occurring off a dating app and not online with even ratios. People love to dismiss what happens on dating apps as "oh it's just dating apps" but I think the underlying phenomena are still there in real life. It's just much easier to observe, study, and quantify them on dating apps. Some men swipe indiscriminately, sure, but this contradicts what you just said before saying men are equally as picky. TinderInsights also shows 40% which is far from 100%. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 04:41 PM
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Look up “TinderInsights” on Reddit and sort by new and find one that has the aggregated summary page like this one. Men swipe right on 40% of women compared to women swiping right on 7% of men. It’s just Tinder and a swipe doesn’t necessarily mean willingness to give a chance on a date… but the meaning of a left swipe is quite clear and women do that 93% of the time. Women are FAR more initially selective than men because of the phenomenon I described above. A better analogy for men would be tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 01:51 PM
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Right but it would “suck” for a rich person that’s used to living in their own 2/2 in the heart of the city only finding studio apartments available, god forbid.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 03:08 AM
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It’s like the hedonic treadmill but for dating. People who suddenly win a lot of money are happy for a bit but eventually they get used to the change and it no longer feels special so their happiness goes back to normal and they want more. Well for women in dating it’s the same thing. Having tons of options starts to feel normal so they just perceive them all as mediocre and want more. Dating “sucks” for women because they aren’t able to fully understand or appreciate their privilege. They just …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 02:55 AM
2

The most outspoken people tend to be the most passionate, and it’s easy to be passionate about something you hate. This applies to both pronatalists and antinatalists. The sane, rational people aren’t yelling.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 02:54 AM
6

I think it’s unfair to say women care less about looks. Men and women’s look filters have TWO properties: filter strength AND filter threshold. Men’s looks filters have high strength but a lower threshold. Men are less likely to date a woman they aren’t attracted to, but they have lower thresholds that are easier for women to meet. Women, on the other hand have a high threshold but lower strength. Women tend to find most men very average and mediocre and so it’s hard for men to pass their thresh…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 07:59 PM
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Most women don’t orgasm from basic PIV sex required for reproduction so, on top of women already being generally sex-averse, strictly reproductive sex would be especially unenjoyable for women. If you ever wonder why porn actresses moan up a storm, it’s because men tend to like and get off to women enjoying sex. Men don’t want women not enjoying sex. Most men just want women to actually value and desire them for more than just their wealth, career, or commitment. It’s sad when women only conside…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 07:45 PM
2

Women tend to be very initially selective and men can’t exercise dating biases against a woman that already rejected them. So, a lot of controversial, example-worthy biases exercised by women are in the initial stages of dating whereas men’s are in later stages.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 05:19 AM
13

My girlfriend’s friend hilariously said this once and her standards are high af. I think the problem is that most women get so much attention that comparably desirable guys start to seem mediocre. So, women think the bar is super low but really it’s just their perspective changing from options saturation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 05:01 AM
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