~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Avoiding ex on special occasionsI like the idea of visiting the child at college at another time. Oftentimes the first visit is fraught with anxiety and excitement, and a later visit might feel nice and be needed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 06:36 PM |
| 2 | Avoiding ex on special occasionsNo need to go to parties at your ex's or ex in-law's, you can take your child out on your own or invite your side of the family over to celebrate your son with. But I'd find a way to be there for graduations and college move in. You need to show up for your kids despite your feelings toward your ex. They will remember your absence. You don't have to drive with your ex, you just meet your kid at the auditorium or at at college upon his arrival. Say hello to the ex, focus on your child. When my so… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 06:34 PM |
| 1 | How did you afford to divorce? Especially housing…/s | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 02:38 AM |
| -2 | I’m a 54 year old divorced man and I’m looking to date but each time I try I only attract women who don’t look attractive why is this?Huh? It goes both ways is what I’m trying to express. Didn’t realize this was the divorce-men group. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 07:10 PM |
| -5 | I’m a 54 year old divorced man and I’m looking to date but each time I try I only attract women who don’t look attractive why is this?I’m early 60s, slim, active, employed, own my own home. Not into hair and makeup but I am decently attractive. I see the guys who look at me - lots of guys older than me! I’m not looking at all, so I’m sure that’s the ‘energy’ I have, but most guys my age don’t look like they take care of themselves, which is a huge turnoff. It’s not just women who might not be taking care of themselves. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 06:43 PM |
| 1 | Should I update my STBX?Someone needs to be the adult. Just shoot an email or text saying the time doesn't work for your schedule, and that you'll learn at next month's doctor's appointments if further PT is needed. If she's insistent about this session, ask if she can take the child otherwise you'll need to cancel it. It doesn't have to be a big emotionally wraght issue, just state logistics and facts. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 03:41 PM |
| 1 | Writ of SummonsPlease take your stbx's wife's name out of this post! She and you have just lost a lot of anonymity. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/26 04:21 PM |
| 2 | Unsolicited rant from exYeah that's a good one. It can read either as sincere or sarcastic. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/26 01:03 AM |
| 5 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneNo need to lie. Learn to grayrock. She doesn't need to know about your personal life if your intentions are to divorce. Just say something like "that's personal and we won't be discussing personal issues". Think about why you told her you made out with someone - were you trying to elicit a certain response from her? Grayrock, it'll help you protect yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 03:59 PM |
| 3 | How can I get my husband to stop doing this?Maybe you can record some of his verbal abuse and play it back to him. Let him see what it actually looks like. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/22 01:21 AM |
| 2 | My wife realizes she is going to lose the divorce she filed for. Can she withdraw it?She can't decide to end the divorce and make me refile, can she? I haven't seen anyone respond to this question. I'm going to guess, and I think it could be state specific, also dependent upon how far along in the divorce process you are. She certainly could request withdrawal of her petition for divorce and there's a chance it could be granted, which would force you to be the petitioner and start the whole process over. It's a lose-lose-win situation, with only the lawyers winning here. Definit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/22 02:31 AM |
| 3 | Filed on FridayExactly, their opinions are considered. But the kids don’t make any final or legal decisions. That’s the courts place. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/22 06:41 PM |
| 6 | Filed on FridayThey don’t make decisions. At a certain age their preferences might be heard but any legal custody decisions aren’t made by minors. Now enforcing a teen to do what’s legally ordered is a different story. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/22 05:40 PM |
| 3 | When all bills are paid and you’re caught up post divorce… what’s the first big thing you’re going to buy?Past tense, but the first "big" thing I did was to spend a couple thousand on new trees. We had dead ones in the yard which the ex would not cut down, absolutely refused. Said they might still be alive! Despite the insect riddled bark, the fact that they no longer had leaves for years, and the fact that dried dead branches were dropping everywhere. Second thing was to pave the driveway. He also refused to ever do that, so for 20 years I had to shovel a gravel driveway, live with a huge 12" potho… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/22 12:58 AM |
| 1 | Wife chooses homelessness over divorce.I'm suggesting you don't need an attorney and this doesn't have to run you thousands. If you had a legal separation and the date of separation was court documented and assets as of that date were split already, the bulk of the divorce work is over, since you have no kids under 18. If your separation was not formal/legal, then the value of your assets as of the date of this filing will be the amount split. Still, a relatively simple divorce. A paralegal can fill out and file the paperwork for you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/22 02:14 AM |
| 1 | Wife chooses homelessness over divorce.My guess is that she has severe mental health problems. Most women would not live in a car out of spite, or to keep their husband's tied up in a legal marriage so they can't find someone else. Your best bet is to go ahead and get a paralegal to file the divorce paperwork, if you're not so inclined to do this yourself. You don't need her approval or ok or even signature. Once she is successfully served, it's up to her to respond to the divorce case, or ignore it. Either way, she can't stop a divo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/22 12:33 AM |
| 1 | How do I not let my feelings towards my ex affect my children?I liked your interpretation, just may have to borrow that some time! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/22 12:39 AM |
| 1 | Separation starts todayI did not know that. Just googled it and it's the same here, it can be awarded retroactively. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/21 12:58 PM |
| 1 | Separation starts todayUhhhhhh, INAL and I live in the US, don't think you do by your use of "hydro"! I can only speak from my experiences after a 30 year marriage. Ex and I stayed in the same house for the duration, but he did limit the amount of money he deposited into the marital account, I'm not sure how my lawyer agreed to this. All of my income went into that account, I didn't hold anything back. He then paid his own credit cards, which was good since he's a spender. I would have to think that since your spouse … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/21 12:53 PM |
| 1 | Separation starts todayYou'll learn as you go but a little heads up beforehand is best. Mush brain is real, in the beginning. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/21 09:38 PM |
| 3 | Separation starts todayConsent varies by institution, call all of them and see what they need to cancel/close accounts. With credit cards, it matters if one of you was the primary and the other was an authorized user. You can take an authorized user off, but not a co-primary (I think). Make sure you get statements for the last year at least from all of the accounts you have. Online PDFs are easy to get, but beyond 3 years (most cases?) you may have to pay for them. You want to know what all balances were as of the dat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/21 04:13 PM |
| 2 | Wife Just Told Me She's Filing For Divorce Soon — Seeking AdviceI've always heard that whoever files first is at a disadvantage when the divorce is no-fault (or whatever the term is) and the partner does not really want a divorce. For example the person who is served is less likely to lose the house if they want to keep it, is more likely to get fair custody of their kids, etc. Is that untrue? Yes all of this is untrue. I (female) filed, my ex dragged things out and stated that he would do nothing to move the divorce along. (Mind you, the marriage had been d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/21 03:49 PM |
| 1 | Blindsided by my wife wanting srparationrarely fought which I think may be a bad thing after all cause she just held on to those feelings and ended up resenting me for it. This is an important lesson to have learned. Communication is the most important part of a marriage. I’d like to think me being allowed to stay in the same apartment and even bed is a good thing maybe? Good thing? No, this is just an easy thing. Do you best to find another place to sleep. If you don't have a second bedroom or an office you can put a bed in, switch… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/21 03:20 PM |
| 1 | Inheritance questionIt can be considered marital if it is comingled, in my state at least. That property, if OP used marital funds to pay taxes on it, or to get some trees trimmed on it, get it surveyed or perc'd, that *could* move it from the separate column to the marital column. I imagine it would have to be a significant amount of money spent on the property though, and not just a one time thing. Def a lawyer question though. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/21 11:58 PM |
| 1 | First true-up of children's extra expenses and she's included things that absolutely should be covered by the child support I payIf you're looking for confirmation on whether the items you mention should be included in regular child support, then yes, they seem to be part of the normal cost of child rearing. Now if one of you were to buy a $2,000 gaming system for the kid's entertainment, a closet full of special clothes for a dance team or sports travel team equipment & registration, etc, then those types of expenses could be considered outside the norm of regular child support expenses and you could agree to split those… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/08/21 01:43 PM |
| 3 | introduction time OR parting time? Or is there another option/way to look at this?Long distance relationships are just different - they're not 100% reality in that you're not together every day, going through the normal ups and downs and drudgery of daily life. Part of why this relationship is so wonderful for you may be the fact that it's only EOW. And, if she's not respecting your desire to not introduce your kids yet - well this could be your first does of relationship reality. How you navigate this could be telling of the future of your relationship. Do you cave to what s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/21 05:51 PM |
| 3 | I am finally doing it ...Beware: just because you're aiming for fair and 50/50 with everything, does not mean that's her intention. She might be totally unreasonable, in fact I would guess she already is, saying that she doesn't even want a legal divorce. And the only way the courts will 'own our kids' is if she can't come to the table and be reasonable about settling custody. At that point the court will step in and say, probably, 50/50. She's letting fear drive her now, which is not good. My ex was similar, and it mad… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/21 07:01 PM |
| 2 | Need Advice on a Separate Asset ClaimDoes your wife have a paying job outside of the B&B rental scene? If so, did she help to pay upkeep & maintenance on the property? If yes, that property purchased with your inherited money could be considered partial marital property. I would think she could be entitled to a share of it. It might be only to a share of the appreciation of the property. Another factor lending to her receiving some $ from it might be if she worked on the property. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/21 05:00 PM |
| 1 | Why is she sending this?Just coming from the other side - could it be that she didn't click on the bill itself and doesn't know the amount due is $0? Maybe she thinks there is real money due. I'd say if there has been no contact for a year+, this isn't a case of stalking or hoovering. Ignore the situation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/21 04:26 PM |
| 1 | Will I have to split the home 50% with my STBX ?In equitable distribution states such as Indiana, an inheritance put into a marital asset (ie: house) may result it a larger proportion of that asset being assigned to that person who contributed that money. It doesn't mean that you will get the full $$ amount of the inherited money back, but a larger than 50% distribution of the total asset value. That was my experience, anyway. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/21 01:53 PM |
| 1 | Do courts care about trash talk?The court is not going to want to hear about any trash talk, they do not want to get into the personal $hit flinging. Don't let what your STBX *thinks* get in your head. In divorce sometimes people just get so emotional that they start blurting out non-facts. Concern yourself only with facts, via your lawyer or looking into your state laws re: divorce. One thing I will say is that seeing how old your kids are now, you should be looking for full time employment. Just as a woman who was a SAH, you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/21 01:46 PM |
| 2 | Divorce with adult son w/issuesWell, those parents might be underplaying their issues, but know that we're out there too. My son was 17 when the divorce was finalized and once he turned 18 he got himself arrested for smoking pot in the local park at night. A really dumb move, followed by more dumb moves when in college. He got kicked out of a good 4 year college because he spent 2 semesters pretty much not attending classes once they got hard. His roommate was one of the campus dealers, so that wasn't a good influence on him … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/21 01:21 PM |
| 1 | How long did it take for you to know it was the right decision? Esp if there were kids involvedAnyway how long did everyone take to be comfortable with divorce? And understand it was the right call? You'll get ton of stories with this question, and none will be really valid to your unique situation, so I hope you're not looking for The Answer. My case is that I divorced at 55 with 2 nearly adult teens. Best decision of my life, after a 30 year marriage. I knew it was the right decision when the marriage counselor asked me "would you divorce him right now if you knew it would be an easy pr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/21 04:40 AM |
| 1 | Why everyman needs to understand about marriages & female nature.It's crap. Red pill BS. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/20 02:41 PM |
| 1 | Refinance before or after possible divorce?Most mortgages are not assumable. OP should definitely call whoever is holding the mortgage, or find a copy of the original documents and see if assumption is a feature of the loan or not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/20 09:25 PM |
| 2 | Ex wants access to my Google albums full of vacation photos I took, claiming they are marital assets. Does he have any right to them?I'd say that he had nearly a year in which time he should have copied those photos to his own personal account or device. I mean really, did he expect he would always be able to have access via your google account? I think he's being unreasonable. Unless digital photos or documents were specifically addressed in the settlement agreement, this is on him. If it's not a big deal to you, you can do as another poster suggested and have him send you media by X date in which you can download the photos… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/20 12:35 AM |
| 2 | Spousal Support - lump sum payout or pay for 14 years?Or remarries? Lump sums are often not used because (in my state anyway) if the ex remarries, alimony ends. If you've already paid a lump sum and the ex marries, you've paid out more than you would have had to otherwise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/20 04:35 PM |
| 2 | She's trying to drive me crazyThat bitch be crazy! We're not all like that, please realize this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/19 08:08 PM |
| 1 | She's Questioning maintenance paymentsJust wondering, are you thinking that because you're supporting your new SO and her children, your support obligations to your own children will be lessened? I don't think that's the case, because you have no legal obligation to support your SO's children. You might want to check your state's laws on this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/19 07:13 PM |
| 1 | After 8 years since the divorce, I am considering marriage again.we have regular fight about money Red Flag. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/19 06:45 PM |
| 1 | What are some potential problems if I walk out for good during an argument?What if I were to put on my pants, grab the car keys, walk out and spend the night at my father's house? (Mom RIP) And make it clear that I'm contacting a lawyer the next day? Maybe even text it when I arrive at my dad's house? This is unnecessary drama, and drama usually leads to escalated and prolonged divorcing. Find a good time to sit down with her and discuss your desire to divorce, reasons for wanting it, and your plan going forward. If you just walk out, how to you think your teen girls w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/19 06:24 PM |
| 1 | Boy did i get myself into a mess...Take your ex wife off your will. Most states don't allow big changes like this during a divorce. Wait till just after it's finalized. if you have room bring the RV to the house and sleep in there Good idea. I'm sure you have a driveway, park it there, hook up to the house water and electricity. Install a stealth camera on the RV to record her if she goes loco and tries to get inside. You'll also have the side benefit of knowing how late she stays out at night, assuming she leaves the kids unat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/19 05:46 PM |
| 1 | STBX wife’s attorney sent a settlement proposal todayI hope you're right that the judge will see her greed. The reason I asked about the disability is that if there's no reason that she can't work, then she should be working, or at least should not be paying for her attorney out of marital funds, but from her own earnings/savings/401k. You pay for your attorney, she pays for hers. This neck injury of hers reminds me of a Brady Bunch episode (you may be too young to have watched that when it was on prime time) where some guy was suing one of the Br… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/18 01:18 AM |
| 2 | STBX wife’s attorney sent a settlement proposal todayWow, happened upon your post by chance, haven't figured reddit out yet. Just wanted to offer some encouragement - your wife is pretty wacked. Does she have proof of "disability", which precludes her from working and obtaining her own medical/dental insurance through her employer? Sounds like she is grasping at any and all straws to stick it to you and to drag the divorce to court, which is never smart. How is she paying for her legal fees - hopefully not with marital funds? Good luck to you, I j… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/18 12:55 PM |
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