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10yearsago_ Archive

View 8 posts and 38 comments by 10yearsago_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thanks for the advice/butt-kick Took it to heart and upped my game with the wife yesterday. funny thing is I saw she snagged a book from the library about sexual intimacy in a relationship. She read through half the fucker the past 2 days. It is a real simple thing that just shows she is working to keep up with me. But again, thanks for the butt kick. Sex was great last night and one of my desires is to move the sexual side of our relationship from decent to good over the next few months. see wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/15 01:30 PM
1

You are right. I have been thinking about your comment above and working through how to answer. My sex life went from non-existent to mediocre. So yeah, still dead bedroom. Truth. BUT the activity and eagerness of my wife is much much much different. Night and day. She also has some issues that have popped up. From how she was raised in her view of sex, some physical issues etc. For instance, she pushed back on certain things by saying "let's make love" then I fuck her and she loves it. But it s…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/15 02:28 PM
2

I can tell you that ANY woman I choose is lucky to have me. They all suck. All are leaches of my emotional stability and resources. Especially my time. I can't get that back. This is what has hit me the past 6 months especially. My resources are finite. Energy and time especially. I am trying to figure out where the balance is. I am going to work on settling up my goals and plans over the next few weeks and see where that takes me. If it was not for my kids- I would have peaced out a year ago. T…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 01:28 AM
3

Yeah, I came to RedPill with this desperate sense of 'if I don't do something our marriage is over because I want out.' My goal was to hunker down and work hard. I made a commitment to get to 6 more months. At 6 months, I was real happy with my own progress and the progress of my relationship so I hunkered down for another 6months. Now? I am again very happy with where I am at and with the changes in our relationship. But I just don't know if I enjoy my wife anymore. Beyond sex (which is decent)…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:27 PM
1

Thank you for the great list of questions to look through and asses.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:23 PM
2

I'm guessing you can feel she isn't a suitable partner Yup. She has come a long way in regards to her actions and attitude towards me. She sees that I am a leader, much more alpha, and has shifted into a much better wife. BUT I don't know if I want to be married to her anymore. It is tough as hell. So my hear is just not in it right now. craziness.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:18 PM
1

Will do
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:15 PM
1

The issue is: What needs to do to "improve" enough in your mind to avoid divorce? This sounds like a covert contract- I will wait for it to magically "improve" and YOU don't even know what that means much less your wife. This is what I am taking away from all these comments. What do I actually want? Right now, I have this feeling of "I don't really like my wife". So what needs to actually improve? What am I actually looking for out of my spouse? Our of our relationship? Out of my own desire for …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:15 PM
1

"you're not doing the job to my arbitrary satisfaction" I like that- it is the feeling that a standard was set that makes no sense, and never will. It is a perfect way to sum up how a woman thinks too. hah
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/14 02:36 PM
1

Part Time ish... we have one young kid who is home half the time.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/14 02:35 PM
1

haha. Yup... its quite fun! Might as well make it interesting.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/14 05:20 PM
2

Thanks. Yeah, i meant the "her world is law" as sarcasm. It is her mindset and result of 10 years of our relationship. I am working to get around that- to re-engage in a new way. Thanks for the advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/14 04:48 PM
1

Totally. What I hope happens is that my alphaness or whatever you want to call her, allows her to be totally secure and expressive of her sexuality. Or maybe that is wishful mumbo jumbo
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/14 12:50 PM
2

haha. i love it! I am going to ponder what you said for a bit. But yeah, its about finding out who I am and sticking with that... thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/14 05:59 PM
2

Yeah, I am trying to test everything. Test myself. Test her. Just to see where I am at. Then I settle in for a few days before testing again. It is so dependent on IF I can own it. Then her reaction is her reaction. I have no control. BUT if I don't own it- then her reaction is my fault. Weird brain fuck but I am trying to keep it in mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/14 05:58 PM
1

Appreciate it.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/14 12:29 AM
1

You're awesome
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/14 12:29 AM
2

Thanks a bunch
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/14 12:29 AM
4

Yeah- I was imagining and dreaming what life would be like without my wife during BP time. And i realize now it was just shit. Mainly involved me running away from life. Now I am on the rise and I will keep rising. Only positives in the future now. Good times.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/14 07:09 PM
1

Thanks for the feedback. I have some stories of totally trying something but not framing well or adding in immaturity or feelings and it just flopping! And some stories of maintaining frame and bam things just blossom. Craziness. The daughter stuff was such a pleasant surprise. It only took twoish weeks to get to a point where I was back in control as her father and able to relate. You can tell her respect level just keeps on going up.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/14 07:08 PM
3

Thank's its good to chop some things down on paper to begin focusing in on what has happened and what needs to happen.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/14 07:07 PM
3

That was tough. Later she said something like "You know, I am just not attracted to you anymore. I want to be attracted to my husband." That one hit me the worst actually. Sure, I gained weight (yup), but I am damn sexy. I am a great dude. I just exploded inside. I felt like she tossed out all appreciated. So you hated me for 7 years and now you don't find me attractive. Well, this is nice. So I am married to you for the rest of my sexless existence? hah. It flipped a switch inside me just burne…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/14 03:33 PM
1

A key for me is the inside and outside matching. My inner self may be very strong BUT if I am unable to demonstrate that with my actions, fitness, words, etc etc it means very little. I am working on ensuring the in and out are congruent to enact those ballsier moves. And to just plain be a better person.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/14 07:34 PM
3

Yeah adding in kids, years of BP- phew. It just becomes difficult to figure out. I need to allow change to happen gradually and slowly. But still, time is finite. So balancing patience, growth, and I WANT OUT are really tough. If it wasn't for kids, I probably would be out already. But that does give you an extra incentive to work shit out. To give things time. To not toss aside 10-15-20 years of relationship work. I can see how RP stuff works right away and how some... well... lets just say the…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/14 03:53 PM
3

I wonder about that. I have the same thoughts. I want younger women to find me attractive. I want to spend my money on my shit sometimes. I want to get some space and do something fun. But instead I am focusing on the internal process. I think that's the difference from the mid life crisis. Its not a quick bang bang but an internal struggle to become a true man.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/14 03:51 PM
3

Thanks. I hope it's coming across as- my wife did these crazy things BECAUSE I was super blue pill. In a few more months I think I will be able to discern normal woman craziness and craziness that I caused. Its good to get thoughts out as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/14 04:58 PM
1

Yeah for sure. I cringe when I think about the talk. Sure, I was trying to say "This is not acceptable" but it just didn't work.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/14 04:57 PM
3

Good question. If you have a small child- you are pretty much in for helping the kid until bedtime. If your wife sets the bedtime at some ungodly late hour- change it. My kids are all under 9 still so bedtime is at 7:30. Not tired? I don't care- its my time now. So maintaining frame also means taking care of your kids. Not because she asks but because you would anyways. Its a mindset change to. I do more laundry post redpill because I don't need my wife to do shit for me. It helps her remember t…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/14 02:29 PM
2

I think you are going to get some harsh feedback. Hah. It is all right. I also had the wife say "I do 100% of the parenting!" Such a false statement. I don't have to be in your house to know how false it is. I love the idea of saying "Well then, I won't help". It feels so good. Let me give you an example of when I tried that as a blue pill and then as a red pill. Whenever I go grocery shopping, I put away the groceries after. Makes sense right? When my wife goes grocery shopping (or any shopping…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/14 02:11 PM
1

Dreams! Right? hah
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/14 06:30 PM
1

When she calls you an asshole and then drags you to the bedroom, you know you've turned the page.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/14 06:07 PM
1

the 10 year for me is this point where I put in a decade into the marriage. Do I want 2-3 more decades of this?? Uh oh! Made me really get contemplative. Found red pill just a few weeks post 10 year.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/14 05:37 PM
2

I love it. Hi my name is /u/10yearsago_ and I was a blue pillar in an 11 yr LTR before I swallowed the red pill. Here is my story. I feel so much better about myself now. Not even funny. My relationship with my wife? well..... we shall see. But becoming a man again is the best gift.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/14 04:39 PM
1

Both responses just about sum it up.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/14 03:09 PM
1

I feel like I became a better father almost overnight. Especially with my daughter. (You can't shit test me 9 year old!) hah.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/14 07:54 PM
1

Yeah the kids makes it hard-mode. They are the greatest thing in the world. Part of why I am in the reflective mode is the straight thought of "ok, in 15 years we will have (hopefully) no kids in the house... is it worth sticking it out and working on the marriage only to find myself in the same place in 15 years." A fair amount of my friends saw their parents get divorces while they were in college. I understand why very clearly now.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/14 07:46 PM
2

Yeah, I am kicking myself for not carrying my red pill ways into marriage. i just didn't know any better. I'd be all red pill prior to getting a date and then BAM blue pill and its over. Crazy. How is your happiness level in your marriage? I am really struggling with the fact that I am unhappy with my relationship. In the back of my mind is this little voice that keeps repeating "is it going to get loads better or is this your life for the next 10 or 20 years?" Phew
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/14 05:28 PM
1

I guffawed at the "If I do something a few times... i am expected to always do it." That is exactly how I felt/feel. "Hey can you do this for me?" turns into "Hey, why didnt you do this for me?". One of the first steps I did was tell my wife I was going to do less for her. I had a few specifics "I am not going to do X, Y, or Z for a while." What happened? Well, she started doing more! wow, its magic. As to the sex thing. There is something worthwhile to the notion that a woman who can't get hers…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/14 02:58 PM
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