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12321236788o09754 Archive

View 1 post and 29 comments by 12321236788o09754 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
27

12321236788o09754/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 02:51 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I'm divorcing my wife because I was so deep in her bs that I didn't realize we all just tip toe around trying not to anger mom. It really broke my heart when my daughter started crying because I wanted to wait for mom to get home to carve pumpkins. "I don't want to carve pumpkins with mom, she will get mad at me for not doing it her way." An NPD mom can easily instill massive amounts of fear in a child, husband, or anyone else close to them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 04:26 AM
1

It really can be good. I've said some ridiculous things that when repeated back to me sounded crazy. I even started writing a journal, and that is helpful also. It makes it easier to have a thought and move on rather than having a loop repeating in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 03:26 AM
1

Does expenditure matter? If I am currently sheltering and feeding her mom, is that just a gift from both of us?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 07:42 PM
1

As long as that goes both ways and there's no maintaining lifestyle bs with that, I'm good.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 07:25 PM
1

I just can't imagine she would accept any agreement without consulting a lawyer. Very few lawyers would say anything other than "fight" when they see a broken woman. I genuinely have no idea how to best go about any of this other than preparing for war and praying for peace.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 06:15 PM
1

I bet that felt terrible, and I really don't like doing that to my wife. It sucks
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:49 PM
1

That is refreshing to hear. I still don't really understand how it all relates. It seems like the more you make the more you lose on alimony, and the less you make the more you lose on property. It is just impossible to know without a lawyer it seems
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:47 PM
3

While I agree with you, it was the best thing I've ever done. I've been fighting blind for so long and she just flipped the light on and I can see clearly now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:27 PM
1

Did being the sole breadwinner screw you on alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:23 PM
3

I know a lot of dudes that divorce broke them and they are lost forever. I am not that guy. I have learned a lot about life, happiness, and myself in the last 5 years. I will be fine however it works out. Having not spoken to a lawyer yet means that any thoughts about my future are a waste of time. At this point in my life I have no fear. I can bet life on a pair of 2's and know I got lucky if I win, or accept the loss and start over if I lose. I have the tools, knowledge, and strength to endure…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:16 PM
3

While I can understand that and even laugh, I just can't do that. For one, I don't want my kids to see all of that, and two, I almost see her as mentally challenged. Deep down she is good and means well, she just doesn't understand normal human behavior. I guess time will tell how I handle it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 06:39 AM
2

I read your story a bit ago. I don't know that rage is coming, but you never know who you really married until you get divorced. I really want my wife to continue therapy because I really do hope she is able to help herself. I actually want to continue having some solo sessions too, it's just sitting through the "nothing is my fault" couples session that is tough. I mean tough as far as playing along and acting like there is hope. It's online and cheap too. Stopping therapy would also be an "I g…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 06:04 AM
1

My mom, and her mom would have to do the same. It's just so hard not knowing how any of this really works and not being able to talk to a lawyer. Her mom has to live with her. Does her moms income have any effect on her household income, or is it just like she doesn't exist? So many questions I have no answers to. Apparently divorce is a good business to be in right now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:18 AM
2

I've gone from making $200k 3 years ago to maybe 50 or 60k now. This just made me realize that I need to get her help with all the tax stuff for the year. If I got creative I could probably drop my income close to hers this year, but it would be a lot easier with her help. This one though alone made my entire post worthwhile. Thank you for that
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:14 AM
1

I think she will be very sad at first, but that will turn to fear and then rage. I'm not moving out, so I hope she takes it out on our family and really hangs herself out to dry. When she gets upset, she does not care that there are camera's in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:52 AM
5

I am legit red pill, and I'm comfortable with my understanding and beliefs as far as that goes. I even accept responsibility for allowing everything this far. I have forgiven myself and her for everything except today. Today is all that matters, and it is hard to pretend that she is something she isn't. I am at peace right now, I just know there is a storm brewing lol
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:48 AM
1

One party consent of what? Recording, yes. It is actually a miracle that I installed cameras in our house a few months ago, and she is so used to them that she acts normal. This is not what I installed them for, but you bet your ass I'm going to use it as leverage and to keep me out of trouble. She has talked to others about divorce for years, but at the end of the day, she is too insecure to file. If she were going to it would have been just before she got a large inheritance a while back.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:41 AM
8

I appreciate that, and hope it goes half that well. My wife is a covert narcissist and treats her family like trash. I can not allow this behavior any longer. I had never realized that my children live in terror of upsetting mom. I even bought into most of her bs. She gets so angry and blames everyone close to her about her problems, I can't imagine she won't go full scale war.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:59 AM
1

It's hard. Day to day life of not caring, yet acting like it is not easy and I'm failing at it lol
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:39 AM
2

Own, 3 kids, I've been unemployed a lot and just trying to reduce my income for a few years. She started working when I kinda quit.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:38 AM
1

A got extremely lucky with our counselor. She helped me to understand my wife's problems and that allowed me to let go without feeling like I abandoned my wife. She may have pushed the ethics boundaries by leading me to a "diagnosis" but I am grateful for that.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:36 AM
1

This is my question. How does one act normal when they are in this process.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:33 AM
4

I feel like I need time. I've gotten most of the heirlooms out of the house and enough cash and valuables to be ok for a few months if things go bad. I'm trying to hold her off on spending more money, and likely stealing money if I give her a warning before papers are ready.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:31 AM
5

I fear that if I tell her I want a divorce now I'd be worse off. It's going to be a month or two until an attorney will even talk to me. I really don't want to tip her off and have her drain the bank accounts and otherwise make this harder for me. Am I missing something?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:28 AM
3

My therapist basically told me it would be impossible to have a happy life with my covert narcissistic wife. I had a little bit of question about that, but even in the video she was extremely clear that it is impossible to not lose the rigged game. Makes it a lot easier to give up on my wife knowing that no amount of effort will have a effect on her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 04:27 AM
4

After 19 years of marriage it was recently shown to me that my wife is a narcissist. The only trait in this video that isn't a 100% match is the grading thing. Knowing that it is impossible to win makes giving up on someone I love a lot easier. There is no other option and it's not even my choice at this point. Thanks for posting this!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:19 AM
1

I had a solo with our marriage counselor and she asked me about my unhappiness. I said something like "I'm really not all that unhappy because if figured out how to ignore most of it and just live my life." She asked the same question but paraphrased my response in it. I heard her say it and it sounded insane. I couldn't believe I said that but 30 seconds before, I not only said it, I believed it. It was at that moment I realized... I had to file.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:13 AM
3

I would think the simple fact that you recognize all of that means you are thinking pretty clearly and objectively. I'm thinking that if you just follow your gut more and your feelings less, you'll be doing fine.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:05 AM
6

I know I gave all of my time and energy to my marriage and that hurt every aspect of my life. I used to think I hated almost everyone, and now I realize that is not true. Once I came to the realization that my wife is toxic and is destroying everyone around her, my hate and anger turned to sadness and feeling sorry for her. I see it like putting down the best dog you've ever had. Squeezing that trigger and killing a love like that is terribly hard, but must be done. All of our stories are differ…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:01 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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