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1978_anon Archive

View 0 posts and 29 comments by 1978_anon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

All the documentation in the world will not make a difference if you are in a no-fault state. Judge will not even allow that into evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/19 07:35 PM
3

Sounds to me like the counselor is full of shit. It’s normal for a husband to have standards. Tell the counselor that those standards were set at the start of the relationship (on both sides) and the assumption was that you and the wife would work to keep those standards up to snuff. I am sure your wife expects you to bring home a paycheck so you’ve kept your end of the deal. Now she needs to keep up her end of the deal. Stop paying the full of shit counselor and use that saved money to get your…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/19 01:50 PM
5

Nope! She’s crazy (BPD), in denial. No matter how much I tried and how many times I came back she would not get help or take responsibility for her episodes. Also she and her mom were gaslighting me so no matter what she did, it was always my fault. I tried over and over to make it work but it was not possible. Best to leave her to be with her enabler mom.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/19 02:07 PM
1

I was paying $3000 / month in child support 4 years ago. I'd pick them up from school in raggedy clothes, backpacks falling apart. Their mother (my ex) would buy them socks, underwear and sweaters as Christmas and birthday presents. Their pants and dresses were from 1 or 2 years ago, noticeably small on them. My kids were suffering from low self esteem, the other kids were starting to make fun of them. They were always dirty and unwashed, with tangled, matted hair when they were at their mom's. …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/19 05:06 AM
0

Disclose affair to his lawyer so he (the lawyer) is not blindsided by the situation in court and has a legal strategy to deal with the affair if it comes up in court. Otherwise, don't volunteer any information in court that will make him look bad to the judge. There is judicial bias and if he's unlucky enough to get a woman judge assigned to his case he will have a hard time. She will set support (alimony and palimony) to a high amount and give the crazy ex a lot of what she'll ask for.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/19 10:13 PM
1

There are some advantages to filing first, and they include: You get to plan in advance and take your time selecting a lawyer, rather than having to scramble to find a lawyer to meet with you and file a Response within 30 days of being served. You have time to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the financial cost of divorce. You have the first choice of which court will hear your case. Depending on where you live, having your case heard in one courthouse over another could be a significant…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/19 11:27 PM
1

The time for a postnuptial is before the kids are born. And it’s usually because the couple rushed in and got married without a prenuptial. Maybe she’ll be reasonable and agree. Don’t bet on it though. Her lawyer may have more sway. The lawyers’ self interest is for the couple to fight until the community estate is exhausted and he/she banks all your money. Also women going through divorce are not rational. Also she may see the proposal for a postnuptial as an attempt by you to make her to leave…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/19 11:37 AM
2

I have one copy of the wedding photo. One wallet copy of the photo where I just bought a new car and she was hugging me. I keep them more so I can look back at my life and have mementos of a time before her mental illness kicked in (it was always there, just not totally out of control) and shattered everything. Sometimes I don’t blame her, I try to think the BPD is in control. Other times I know she’s to blame since there were sooo many opportunities for her to get help and she didn’t. She chose…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/19 11:57 PM
1

She got to keep all of it. We were renting a house her parents owned that she continues to live in. I’m pretty sure I’m torn out of all the pictures.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/19 10:38 PM
4

She’s paying child support but only because I have a lawyer who anticipated that my ex would try to get out of it. My lawyer got the court to impute income early. My ex is stuck paying now. Still, I used to pay $3400/mo alimony and child support. My ex is paying about $1050 and is asking for it to get reduced to $230. Lol $230 a month for 2 kids... it wouldn’t even cover after school daycare. At every turn, my ex never ceases to be a shitbag. She’s consistent, I’ll give her that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/19 03:48 AM
6

She kept the kids away from me, no communication for 4 months. During that time she filed for divorce. She lied to the court and told them that I was a flight risk and on drugs. So I got to see my kids via monitored visits. I think the shittiest move that anyone can pull us to use the kids as leverage. She did that. She’s a shit bag and an unredeemable human being. I will never forgive her for what she did. I did get the kids 100% in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/19 07:52 PM
2

Imagine paying support for 18 years. Also all the money lost on fighting for custody. Having the court order monitored visits because your ex lies and tells the court that you're a flight risk and on drugs. Having to go through an emergency custody investigation where you pay the court to basically find that what you were telling them all along is true. That your ex and the kids' mother is batshit crazy (BPD, bipolar) Then having to go through a full blown child custody investigation that will c…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/19 01:12 AM
7

Forget her. Live your best life. Focus on yourself and on being the best father you can be to your kids. It’s about your kids and you now. Don’t check her facebook. There will come a day in her life when she will get replaced with a newer model. What goes around comes around. Karma’s a bitch. When you have free time, hit the gym, get healthy, walk, be as active as you can be. Always put your kids first. Focus on keeping 50-50 custody so you get to see your kids and she doesn’t move away from whe…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/19 03:41 PM
1

I think that’s super rare. More the exception than the rule.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/19 11:26 PM
3

Her lawyer will dig as deep as she wants to pay. Some women will go to extreme lengths when infidelity is discovered. As in bankrolling a bulldog lawyer and bankrupting the community in the process.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/19 11:17 PM
2

I was an abused man in a toxic relationship. That was in 2015. Fast forward now, after a long legal dispute I have full custody of my kids. Don’t be fatalistic. Do not assume the courts will rule on her side always. Fight with everything you’ve got. Fight for your kids, fight for your right as a father to see them and to be with them. I know the situation looks dire right now but time will heal. Do not assume that she will get custody and everything she’ll ask for from the get go. I was in your …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/19 05:47 AM
1

A parent doesn’t need the other parents’ permission to take the kids anywhere, anytime. That’s the law. As unbelievable as it sounds that is how the law applies to married people with kids.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/19 05:41 AM
1

Get an emergency custody order ASAP. Without it she can legally take the kids and move to California. Get a lawyer. If you want to have your kids in your house get an emergency custody order. Do not hesitate. As far as the bank accounts, I would preemptively move the money you earned into a single account in your name. Leave the money that she deposited in the joint account. With an emergency custody order, she can leave but she cannot take the kids with her. If she does it is kidnapping. She wi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/19 02:27 PM
4

It sounds as though this is a very stressful time in your marriage (the babies, the mother in law dying). Try to ride it out. See if your wife follows through on her threat to divorce after her mother passes away. It’s shitty but try to hang in there for the kids. It sounds like your wife has pregnancy and stress issues. Ask her to go to therapy. Join her if you can. Therapy is key and it may help you uncover underlying psychological issues that are driving the conflict in your marriage. I was m…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/19 06:12 PM
1

They won’t be able to leave the state with your kids since you were granted sole temporary custody. Good job on keeping your kids in your house. If they do take your kids out of state they will be breaking the law, that is kidnapping. The court order makes all the difference. Follow up on every court date and get a lawyer. Make sure you go to court every court date. Good job on keeping your head straight throughout this ordeal. Don’t expect it to be civil. I don’t expect a mediator to work out i…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/19 10:12 PM
3

When I got married, I made 65K a year. She made over 125K working from home as a legal consultant. I had 82K in savings. She co-owned a 1M property with her mom and dad. Before the marriage, she gift deeded the house to her parents. She also lost her clients within 5 years so her income went to $0. She did not get new clients or grow her business. She increased the pressure on me to make more. I got a new job and my income went up to 135K. So during the divorce I got screwed. The financial situa…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/19 05:28 AM
1

Sorry but if you've got a lot of things against you You've been married for 20 years. That's a long term marriage. Worst case scenario, you may need to pay support indefinitely, best case, 80% of the number of months you were married. Why did you stay married for so long? In long term marriages, it's "cheaper to keep her" no matter how crazy things get. I mean even if she's violent, you can call the police, have her involuntarily committed, etc. Her name is on the deed. You're in a fairly libera…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/19 04:13 AM
1

I was waiting for my case to come up on the docket in family court in southern California and listening to another case. The plaintiff was a father whose daughter was taken by the biological mother (his ex-girlfriend, not wife, he wasn't married) from his house and moved to northern California. Well, the plaintiff is before the judge and asks the judge for an emergency order to make his girlfriend return his daughter to his house (where the daughter grew up, went to school, etc) Well, the judge …
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/19 07:39 AM
2

Was married to a bipolar / BPD for 7 years. I hate you, don't leave me type of relationship. Was always yo-yo-ing (out of the house, then came back, felt I should reunite for the sake of my kids) After many splits and re-unifications, she attacked me, fled from the police and holed herself up with my kids in her parents' house. I got kicked out of the house I was renting from her parents and got divorce papers a week later. Because of her denial of her mental issues, her projection, her gaslight…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/19 05:38 AM
3

its as if they dont want my children to become anything but a waste of space because all they will see is their mother as some form of role model. it drives me crazy. Yup, family courts routinely fuck kids over by placing them with the parasitic "waste of space" parent. It's not just you, it's pretty much across the board. Also, as far as mother-daughter generational cuntiness, yup, been there, done that. If the mother is a domineering, raging cunt who is married to a pussy husband who does not …
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/19 04:48 AM
6

If you are married, and there is no court order of custody, it is legal for the other parent to take your kids out of state. File (for divorce and emergency expedited custody order) now, before she moves out of state with your kids. She can do that now, legally. If she takes off with the kids before you file and you call the police, they will not call an amber alert. The police will tell you there's nothing they can do because you're married and you do not have a custody order in place. Get this…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/19 04:19 AM
2

This. There has to be a back story, build-up of resentments/unresolved issues on your wife's side. Get a hidden in-home surveillance system installed ASAP. Get this installed during a time when she is out of the house. Multiple cameras in different rooms capturing events from different vantage points. Audio and video. Have the recordings stored off-site, where she can't delete or destroy them. Do not tell her she is being filmed, she'll lose her shit. If anyone asks about the surveillance system…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/19 06:20 AM
1

Does she have the right to tell me I can't have my kids around certain people without any evidence of risk to their safety? Nope, she's being a cunt. Cunty women are selfish and don't care about your kids spending time with your parents (their biological paternal grandparents) Get a lawyer and get all this sorted out explicitly. You'll need a very detailed custody agreement. Get ready to pay and fight in court (to get a ruling) Pretty sure your ex will come out fists swinging with all sorts of c…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/19 05:47 AM
1

This documented evidence will make a difference in court, no matter if you choose to get a new lawyer or keep the current one. A daily journal documenting all the STBXs booze shenanigans is good to have in court. The greater the volume of documented entries with dates and times, the more eyebrow raising and convincing your side of the story will be. You should have started one during the marriage. Even so, it's not too late for you to start documenting the booze shenanigans and ask your daughter…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/19 05:28 AM
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