TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

1987dd1987 Archive

View 4 posts and 160 comments by 1987dd1987 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
29

FIELD REPORT1987dd1987/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 10:14 PM
23

1987dd1987/r/RedPillWomen08/12/20 10:25 PM
9

RELATIONSHIPS1987dd1987/r/RedPillWomen16/10/22 03:08 PM
6

LTR/MARRIAGE1987dd1987/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 09:10 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

If you want a real game changer you need ”what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know” by John gray. I love this book so much. I use the techniques from it daily and reread often to remind myself of the valuable concepts and perspectives. It has transformed my relationship more than I could ever imagine
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 04:41 AM
2

What you mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know by John gray. Absolutely gaming changing. I’m on my 4th? Re-read right now. I use the concepts and skills in this book daily
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 01:38 AM
5

Not a red pill book but you could try goddesses in everywoman by Jean Shinoda bolen. It’s an interesting read outlining the seven female archetypes. It’s possible you are feminine in ways that aren’t culturally prominent/popular but are still valuable. It helped me understand myself better. I also will recommend John gray’s book what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know. Literally a life changing book. It builds on themes in Laura Doyle’s surrendered wife but with practical …
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/24 09:29 PM
4

You need to read “what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know” by John gray. Honestly life changing for me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/24 12:21 AM
12

Suzanne venker has a podcast. I like the really old episodes at the beginning where she had guests on with her. Laura Doyle has a podcast as well, the empowered wife podcast. The evolving man podcast is more for men but the episodes where his wife is on with him, #68 and #83 are really good.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 11:58 PM
7

After that read John gray’s what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know. I can’t recommend highly enough, it brought my red pill journey to a whole new level. I still reread it regularly and literally practice the strategies daily in my relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/24 09:42 AM
9

Laura Doyle was a great jumping off point for me but what really sealed the deal was John gray’s book what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know. Literally changed my whole approach to my relationship and I’ve never been happier. I’m probably four/five years into my red pill journey and now it’s comfortable, effortless, and automatic to act in a red pill way but it wasn’t that way in the beginning at all. It took conscious effort and I fumbled my way through many different sc…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 01:12 AM
4

What you mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know by John Gray Passionate marriage by David schnarch Goddesses in everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen The subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson For podcasts Suzanne venker podcast Laura Doyle has a podcast Esther perel has a podcast
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 12:57 AM
5

Piggy backing to recommend John gray’s what you mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know!
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 05:28 PM
8

How can a leader lead without all of the pieces of information? If you were honest about your feelings there’s a possibility that your husband solves your problem ( either by showing you more appreciation or by working out a way to ease your burden of having to pick up the kids). At this point he believes everything is fine with you because he asked and that’s what you said. Male brain doesn’t understand or look for a covert message. Red pill is not about never saying your feelings or expressing…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:32 AM
6

Read John grays “what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know” The insights in this book are amazing and it gives you a framework for changing your behaviour in ways that matter to men. All too often we give to/do for our partner things that would work with other women without understanding that we need to shift our strategies and relate to men as men
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 09:17 PM
1

I love the book nonviolent communication by Marshall b Rosenberg! I agree that it is aligned with red pill and a useful strategy for communicating. The book is well worth the read if you get a chance
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/23 12:37 AM
2

Try listening to Suzanne venker podcast but you will need to go back to the very beginning and start there. The early episodes are the best ones imo. Maybe start with episode 11? Also for books I’d recommend Laura Doyle’s surrendered wife and John grays “what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know” Give some of the strategies in these books a try and watch the magic happen. I read Laura Doyle and started with one tiny change and I was hooked
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 09:29 AM
2

I hope you love it. It was life Changing for me
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/23 11:06 PM
6

Read John grays book “what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know” It will really help you understand this dynamic from his side and it will give you solid strategies to get what you need. In the mean time I would say find things you can appreciate about your husband and make it clear to him how appreciated he is. John gray explains it better in his book but the more he feels you are unsatisfied the more he will pour himself into work.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/23 04:31 PM
2

John gray’s what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know!
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 03:38 AM
5

Your husband said “everything you do becomes my problem, useless” The heart message to me would be “I feel really overwhelmed by everything I need to be responsible for.” The heart message is about reading between the lines to see the needs/emotions behind the words. In your situation I would say “thank you for helping me with the dog the other day. I know it’s frustrating when you have to stop what you’re doing to manage him/her. Can you help me think of a way to improve this situation?”
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 03:34 AM
2

You’re welcome! I hope you love it
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 04:05 AM
3

I love Laura Doyle but I would say John gray’s book what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know was way more powerful for me.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 03:09 AM
27

When we were married with no kids I worked part time and it was very manageable. I went on mat leave with three months to go in my pregnancy and just never went back. I have a six and three year old now and have just accepted a very very flexible, part time, work from home position (about 10 hours a week) and have found it an absolute blessing
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 10:15 PM
2

By g s Youngblood! Yes! This is what I was coming to say. I love that book
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/23 10:35 PM
5

She also has the empowered wife podcast!
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 03:31 AM
16

I kinda like this… what can you do to win yourself back in the meantime? (ie some good self care!) You don’t have to be cold or non responsive, just check to make sure you’re in your own lane. This happens to me sometimes, I realize I’m like way too up in my husbands business and I need to take a big step back.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 01:12 AM
1

Hm interesting. Sounds kind of similar to love and respect by Emerson eggerichs.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/23 02:37 AM
2

What makes it controversial?
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/23 01:05 AM
30

Read Laura Doyle surrendered wife John gray’s what your mother couldn’t tell you and your father didn’t know passionate marriage by David schnarch nonviolent communication by Marshall b Rosenberg Listen to Suzanne venker podcast (start from the beginning, there’s some real gems back there) Laura Doyle’s podcast the empowered wife podcast Keep a daily journal where you record things you are grateful for about your spouse. It could be something he says or does or a sweet memory or a quality you ad…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/23 11:25 PM
2

Definitely! I should have noted that actually, thanks for pointing it out
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/23 07:08 PM
29

You’ve told him what you don’t like now it’s time to focus on what you do like. Thank him for making time to have dinner as a family. Thank him for playing with his daughter for 20 minutes even if you’re mad that he’s heading out to do xyz. The gratitude and appreciation will feel good and he will want to spend more time at home. What you focus on grows!
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/23 05:29 PM
1

Suzanne venker does coaching
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/23 06:13 PM
8

Suzanne venker?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/23 05:07 PM
8

What if you say: I work, go to school, and tend house and I can’t keep up with all of it. I want to do less. Bring him the problem and let him craft the solution
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/23 11:50 PM
6

Yes that’s it. I don’t need full on constant attention, just an acknowledgement that I exist everyday lol. My husband gets tunnel vision so he is fully immersed in work when work is the primary focus and at times I feel like I exist in the periphery. He also struggles to moderate himself. He will over plan work and not leave space to take care of himself and he is too depleted from lack of self care or guy time or whatever to be effective in our relationship. It’s an ongoing tension. I think it …
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 01:05 PM
6

Thank you for your insights! Less attention always hits me hard. I don’t know if I’ve got quality time love language or what. I think maybe as a stay at home mom with very little outside interaction I am just thirsty to be seen and heard as a person. Maybe I’m looking for validation? I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I need so I can ask for it instead of just generally asking for more. I always appreciate your comments on posts and usually take quite a lot away from them. It’s sort of …
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 12:12 PM
2

It’s not immediate. Im three years in to my red pill journey and I’m STILL working on figuring things out. I continue to work on myself and little by little I get better and better. Im an entirely different person than when I started and I know I can be better still which is why something like this happens and I reflect on it to examine my part and see where I can improve. I keep two journals daily. One for things I did that day that im proud of and one for things im grateful for which is focuse…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 12:03 PM
7

I didn’t really put that together but I like what youve said here. Masculinity is so villanized
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 02:07 AM
5

You say when xxxxx I feel xxxx because I am needing xxxxxx. Would you be willing to xxxxx Example: when you leave your laundry on the floor I feel sad because I’m needing a tidy environment to feel calm. Would you be willing to take five minutes every morning to pick up laundry throughout the house? This is straight out of nonviolent communication by Marshall b Rosenberg. An absolute gem of a book that I read over and over again.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/23 12:20 AM
3

I think that for me it was realizing that Laura Doyle’s book is basically about codependency and how deeply it connected with codependent no more by melody Beattie. Adding in nonviolent communication (Marshall b Rosenberg) takes it to a whole other level. That and realizing that all the power lies in how we frame things. And a lot of our framing of the aspects of our selves/lives comes from the values our culture and family and society imprinted on us. But once we realize that we can choose how …
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 06:31 PM
3

Laura Doyle encourages us to basically not be codependent. Reading the surrendered wife by Laura Doyle or codependent no more by melody Beattie will help
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/23 04:01 PM
12

You say I’m sorry that you’re feeling tired/unwell. Is there something you are needing from me? If he makes a request you can decide if you are able to meet that or not. If he says he doesn’t need anything you just drop it or maybe say let me know if that changes. This advice comes straight out of the book codependent no more
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 02:30 PM
2

I would suggest the masculine in relationship by g s Youngblood
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/23 03:31 AM
2

Suzanne venker podcast
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 12:09 AM
2

You want to listen to Suzanne venker podcast
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/23 12:24 PM
1

You might like goddesses in everywoman by Jean shinoda bolen. Also possibly vagina by Naomi Wolfe.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/23 12:24 AM
53

Of course you can. Femininity to me is much less about what you do/how you are and way more about how you relate to men. IMO even the most badass ceo or the president of a country can have a redpill dynamic with her husband even though she isn’t redpill in other aspects of her life.
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/23 12:56 PM
1

If that’s the case the schnarch book is right up your alley. It’s all about how to maintain your self identity separately from your relationship identity. Such a good read!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/23 12:55 AM
9

I think you’d benefit from passionate marriage by David schnarch or maybe even codependent no more by melody Beattie. You are way way too wrapped up in what your partner is doing and while that is understandable given your upbringing it’s not healthy or fair. Your partner is going out of their way to accommodate your fear (calling you immediately after work, location sharing etc) which can easily build a sense of resentment (like a teenage boy smothered by an overprotective mother - not sexy). Y…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/23 12:59 PM
6

Wear wedges
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 01:40 AM
2

Gs Youngblood’s book the masculine in relationship. He did a podcast with Suzanne venker if you wanted to give it a listen and get a taste The other one I’ve seen men talk about (but never read) is no more mr nice guy by Robert glover
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 10:08 PM
2

Absolutely love it. I also read goddesses in everywoman (same author) about female archetypes. It helped me understand a lot of my tendencies and patterns.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 11:34 AM
2

The masculine in relationship by GS Youngblood. He did an interview with Suzanne venker on the Suzanne venker podcast so you could listen and get a taste of his content before purchasing if you wanted. Also it’s not red pill but I’m currently reading Gods in Everyman by Jean Shinoda Bolen. It’s about male archetypal patterns.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 05:27 AM
1

I like her podcast because many of the episodes have a guest and then you can get the guest’s book or check out their podcast and your pool of resources broadens
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/22 06:25 PM
2

Suzanne venker’s podcast. Read Laura Doyle’s the surrendered wife (she also has a book for singles)
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 12:07 PM
2

That’s good to hear. Pms is so hidden/brushed off/taboo that most people aren’t aware of what is normal and that PMDD exists.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 09:26 PM
2

There are some people who think that PMDD may be partly due to histamine intolerance It’s not scientific fact and it’s a conversation that is heavily polarizing on the PMDD sub. All I know is that I tried it and it helps me so I do it on really bad days https://www.larabriden.com/histamine-intolerance-pms-pmdd/ I haven’t yet heard of the things you mentioned but that’s for a new line of exploration
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 06:04 PM
9

Have you checked out PMDD? It’s a menstrual disorder that you may be suffering from. I have it and reading your post I thought I was in the r/PMDD sub instead of red pill. I enjoyed the book wild power by sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, it is very woo woo but really changed my relationship with my cycle and helped me to better understand myself which allows me to better support my needs as they change throughout the cycle. For example it showed me that in the premenstrum (days 17-25 ish) I get a serious …
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 05:42 PM
3

I would suggest that you talk about it with a woman before you talk to you man. Get it all out there, rant rave, say mean and hurtful things until it’s all out of your system. By the end, when you’ve processed and calmed down, you should be able to see very clearly the main sticking point(s) which you can then take back to your husband and present. Your husband does not need to hear your whole thought process, he just needs the cool calm and collected tl:dr Also I’m wondering if you’ve ever trac…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 11:57 PM
8

This same thing happened to me when my husband was laid off from his job. He got really funky and I felt really lonely but I stuck it out and waited and like 10 days later he came to me with of plan of his next steps.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 11:45 AM
13

My child was diagnosed with autism shortly before his 3rd birthday. Where I live a diagnosis opened us up to condition specific supports (on top of general supports we were already receiving) and allowed for funding for a support worker in his preschool, both of which have helped my son immensely. It’s possible that with appropriate supports your child will be able to catch up and the gap between him and his peers will close. It’s also possible that he will remain behind. In that case your son’s…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/22 07:36 PM
8

I can suggest you some books! Attached by Amir Levine Passionate marriage by David schnarch Codependent no more by melody Beattie. The last two aren’t exclusively about attachment per say but have helped me see the importance of allowing space for two separate selves in the relationship. I am anxiously attached and my resources reflect such. I’d also suggest foreplay podcast with Laurie Watson and George fuller. They talk about the withdrawer and pursuer dynamic quite a bit both in terms of a se…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/22 03:26 PM
3

Hm that’s interesting. I wasn’t aware of the controversies. Thanks for pointing that out.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 07:05 AM
5

I think you would really like the book love and respect by dr Emerson eggerichs. Also maybe “for women only” by shaunti Feldhahn.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:38 AM
8

Lol I was so confused! I am a PMDD member too but I was like I thought I was in red pill….right?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/22 04:14 AM
2

Suzanne venker talks a lot about this on her podcast “the Suzanne Venker Show”
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/22 12:15 AM
11

I’m banned from r/breakingmom due to my participation here
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 05:47 PM
23

I second this! “It sounds as though ….. is that right?” I use a lot of skills from the book nonviolent communication by Marshall b Rosenberg. It’s not red pill specific but a great resource that literally changed the way I communicate.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 06:16 PM
16

I think this is a very apt post. Pretty well every relationship under the sun (friends, parent/child, significant other, sisters, boss/employee, etc etc) has a dominant and submissive dynamic. I use redpill strategies in many relationships in my life, not just with my husband.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/22 03:02 AM
2

Mrs Midwest comes to mind
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/22 02:59 AM
9

My child has autism and his mainstream preschool (he does have a funded worker) has been nothing short of amazing for his development. They have been able to get him motivated to try writing which has been making leaps and bounds and which we had been unable to do on our own. It has challenged him on a level that we were unable to do in our home because home is the safe space. We have routines and rituals that we religiously follow whereas school mixes it up way more. This allows him the best of…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/22 02:57 AM
2

Is it possible that your s/o is triggered by this because of his relationship to drugs and not because of you and drugs? Like maybe he had a bad experience himself or is/was involved with an addict in some form of relationship (family, friend, previous s/o?) Not to say that his reaction is right, just maybe there is more to it than appears on the surface? It seems like a pretty strong reaction so I would expect there to be a pretty emotional basis for it somewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/22 02:35 AM
2

I cook thin and thick bacon in the oven and store in the fridge to use on the weekend/throughout the week. I crumble it and add it to salads or other recipes. On the weekend we have a classic breakfast for lunch (sausages, hashbrowns, bacon, English muffins toasted and cheese melted on them, and eggs). I toss the bacon on a tray with the English muffins and broil until the cheese melts which is enough time to appropriately warm the bacon. It’s better to have done it ahead of time and warm it up …
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 04:23 PM
1

Yeah I guess it depends what you consider “housework.” To me that means everything I do whether it be cooking cleaning kids etc etc. My work is taking care of my house and everyone in it. I actually love laundry and cooking but I hate vacuuming. I think sending our your laundry is perfectly reasonable! I wish I could send out my vacuuming/dusting I definitely couldn’t imagine having a job too. I don’t understand how women work full time and do all the housework and have some sort of life for the…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 09:22 PM
17

Uh. It’s constant? I stop and sit down maybe 2 hours tops during the day and then from 6 til I go to bed. Monday I meal plan, make grocery list, and order my groceries. Tuesday I vacuum main and upstairs floors Wednesday I vacuum downstairs, my groceries are delivered and I clean one of our bathrooms Thursday is bathroom cleaning day and 3 loads of my laundry/towels Friday is bacon cooking day but otherwise pretty light Saturday is my husbands laundry and I do hand wash only dish washing Sunday …
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 08:09 PM
8

Also a sahm and couldn’t imagine how I possibly could work while managing a household and two kids. Maybe maybe I could do something part time once both kids are in school full time (which won’t be for another 3 years). So grateful every day that I don’t have to work outside the home. I’m surrounded by women finishing up mat leaves (1 year - I’m in Canada) and I’m so worried and sad for them. I don’t know how they’re going to manage and I can’t imagine they’ll be happy.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 11:50 AM
6

Upward storage!!! I have a teeny tiny laundry room up my husband put up shelves for me and now I have room for five baskets and a shelf for storing laundry soap, dryer sheets, etc etc. upward storage is a seriously overlooked thing
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/21 03:30 AM
5

I would just say to your bf I swear I heard the tinder noise coming from your dads phone this morning. Have you heard it too? He could fill you in or shrug it off or investigate it. Ultimately it’s his call. At the end of the day it’s not your family/responsibility and I wouldn’t confront his family members. You’ve brought his attention to it and he will handle it from there.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/21 01:35 AM
1

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Sm54QNo93M5az5qGa1n8I?si=M0fH55NQR3yrfN8TvEg4Wg This podcast helped me understand the dynamics a little better
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/21 01:03 PM
16

It sounds like you are maybe a little codependent (read codependent no more by melody Beattie), probably the “one down” in your relationship (read the passion trap by dean c delis, and possibly are talking to your husband in the wrong love language (read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman). I don’t know if you’ve read Laura Doyle but I could see some of the strategies in the surrendered wife working here. I would suggest keeping a pride journal where (similar to a gratitude journal) you write …
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/21 08:56 AM
5

Totally! It’s like how junk food gives you a short quick burst of energy but it isn’t fulfilling or long lasting like a healthy snack. Productive self care can’t be monetized the same way that indulgent self care can and that’s why indulgent self care is pushed in society/culture right now. (You need a spa day! Some ice cream, A manicure, more luxury items!) self care is an excellent idea if you are actually taking care of yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 03:30 AM
31

The thing no one talks about with self care is that there are two kinds, indulgent and productive. Indulgent tends to be things that feel good short term whereas productive self care are longer term goals that you work at. I would suggest engaging in some productive self care. Read a book that really sparks your interest and expands your mind. Engage in some sort of exercise. Meditate. Choose something you’ve always wanted to do and challenge yourself to pursue it. Learn a new hobby. The point i…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 12:30 AM
7

It’s difficult as a parent to play both the teacher and parent roles. Children test parents in a way that they don’t do in a school setting. Time and time again I hear parents tell me they can’t get their kid to do their homework or read or whatever else. What happens when your child outright refuses to participate in homeschooling? How do you navigate that as a teacher in a way that doesn’t damage your parent child relationship Teaching a child to read requires a lot of skill. If you have a neu…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 07:48 PM
20

I’m a teacher myself and I wouldn’t homeschool my children. There are definite pros such as framing things the way you would like your child to learn them but ultimately it is a huge undertaking with a lot of responsibility, energy and effort. One of my children has autism and he wouldn’t receive nearly as much support outside of the school system. I don’t know why but children tend to do better in a classroom with a teacher. The lines of each role become blurred when you are the teacher and the…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 05:32 PM
21

Perhaps it is attractive that he owns his weaknesses? A man who owns his successes is one thing but a man who is comfortable with both his successes and weaknesses is a whole next level man of a man
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 04:27 PM
7

I’m Canadian. My husband is a automotive/hi Rail mechanic. I’ve been at home since January 2017. My first child was born March 2017. I was able to claim maternity leave for a year then I just never went back. I was a substitute teacher and never got a full time contract so it was pretty easy decision. I could go back to substituting any time but with only one kid in preschool (the other is two) it won’t be for a while and never full time.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 06:26 PM
4

For books I would recommend no more mr nice guy by dr Robert glover or the masculine in relationship by gs Youngblood. I may as well toss in mark manson’s book the subtle art of not giving a fuck. Maybe you could listen to them as audiobooks?
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 11:03 PM
9

Suzanne herself can be a little much but I enjoy her guests very much and have bought books based on some of those interviews.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 09:38 PM
2

I’m gonna recommend a book. The passion trap by Dean C Delis. It’s interesting how you identified that you are on the other side of the dynamic in your past relationships. This book discusses the dynamic of the one up and the one down and how to navigate a relationship back to a more even keel. I’m also going to recommend passionate marriage by David schnarch. A super awesome read about how maintaining separateness as individuals within the relationship leads to passion while merging or fusing s…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 11:17 PM
11

Classically Abby Suzanne venker podcast Laura Doyle podcast
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 12:24 PM
5

Laura Doyle’s principles line up in a really interesting way with the concepts in the book I’m currently reading: Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. It’s all about maintaining a separateness between you and your spouse as individual, competent, capable people. When we fuse we expect our partner to share our vision, preferences, desires etc etc. This is an infantile attachment that essentially strangles the relationship. The goal is to remain differentiated which will mean that you sometimes …
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/21 11:20 PM
2

100%. I mostly listen for the guests and have ended up with a lot of good books because of them.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 04:12 PM
3

For podcasts I suggest the Suzanne venker show (particularly the earlier episodes). I like that Suzanne has a lot of guests so if you like someone you can pick up their book and learn more. Laura Doyle has a podcast too. Classically Abby on YouTube (she was also interviewed on the Suzanne venker show)
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 08:07 PM
1

Actually I recommended a listening phrase/strategy straight out of Laura Doyle’s book. The op says she needs to “shut up when my husband vents about work” and I suggested a plan. The venting/listening to the venting isn’t bringing them emotional closeness or intimacy. The husband doesn’t want her advice and she doesn’t want to be nagging (which she wouldn’t be doing if he wasn’t venting to her)
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/21 10:40 AM
0

I would suggest trying to draw a boundary so that he isn’t coming home and talking about work. Tell him you can only listen for five minutes and then you need to move on because you cherish the time you have to spend with him and don’t want it to be consumed with work talk. When he complains during that five minutes simply say I hear you. It doesn’t mean you’re agreeing or sympathizing it just means you are witnessing what he is saying. It’s up to him to make change in his life. Funny enough if …
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/21 03:21 AM
7

Yeah he can’t ask you to deal with it AND criticize how you deal with it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/21 01:57 PM
5

Maybe he is feeling emasculated by you taking on the larger household responsibilities? Perhaps some of what you are doing would be things that he considers to be the responsibility of the masculine? I would suggest a conversation about division of responsibilities and expectations for how those responsibilities are carried out.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/21 12:49 PM
22

This is going to sound weird but you can help him by focusing on yourself. Up your self care, get a hobby, get yourself busy in a meaningful way. A partner’s stress is your stress too and you need to put on your own oxygen mask. Having something meaningful for yourself to engage in will also help you manage the need for his time which I imagine is in short supply right now. I also would suggest asking him what to do. You can say “what do you need from me to feel supported” and then do that and o…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/21 12:06 PM
9

Read the passion trap by Dean C Delis! It explains exactly what happens from both your side and your partner’s side and helps you understand what you can do to shift the dynamic
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/21 07:31 AM
11

I think it is appropriate to lean a little more masculine in certain areas of your life such as work. The important thing is not being feminine at work but rather the conscious shifting back and forth between your work self and your home self.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/21 11:47 AM
1

She is on with Suzanne venker!
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 11:30 PM
2

Awesome! I hope it helps. Feel free to message me if you have more questions or want to discuss some of the ideas/strategies
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 09:07 PM
15

It sounds as though you are an emotional pursuer and your husband is an emotional withdrawer. This is the same dynamic in my relationship too. Some of the resources that really helped me are: I would suggest listening to podcasts 204-205 of foreplayrst radio sex therapy with Laurie Watson and George faller. Although they are talking about withdrawers and pursuers in the sexual sense you can apply the dynamic and the strategies to the emotional realm as well. (This really made it click for me and…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 06:29 PM
2

Thanks! See below
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 11:24 PM
2

Thanks! See below
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 11:24 PM
13

Yes, with same husband. I bought the book in may of 2020 so I’ve been at this for like a year. Everything changed. His drinking habits, the amount of time we spend together, the quality of time we spend together. And all for the better. In the book Laura Doyle talks about how husbands get raises and new jobs after the wives submit to their husbands and I thought bullshit but it happened to me too. I used to be solely responsible for the household finances but now my husband and I are both engage…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 11:19 PM
17

I was googling things like “husband drinks too much” “husband hurts my feelings” “husband doesn’t notice me” and stumbled across some of Laura Doyle’s material. I kept coming back to those articles again and again, it felt like the only advice that resonated with me and comforted me. Then I decided to buy the book (surrendered wives). I remember being scared for my husband to see it and think I was up to something nefarious. At first I wasnt comfortable with where I was headed either but I total…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/21 08:48 PM
3

I’d also recommend “the subtle art of not giving a f*ck” by Mark Manson.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/21 04:06 PM
10

You can encourage them to adopt bits and pieces without labelling it red pill. Like if they’re having a problem your advice and suggestions can be red pill based solutions. If they try it and like it they may continue to pursue that information and you can gently steer them to red pill sources. I think if they’re partly doing it already and see if working they’ll be way more receptive.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/21 11:52 AM
4

That’s true. And I think it can include indulgence but I don’t believe that should be the focus. Indulgence is more a short term boost and personal growth/working on yourself is a way to boost your confidence and happiness over the long term.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/21 04:26 PM
6

Read the subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark Manson! Also self care is less about indulgence and more about work. Much like you wouldn’t let a child have ice cream for dinner you need to “parent” yourself to make good and healthy choices. It may at first be something as simple as setting a bed time and sticking to it or writing in a gratitude journal every day. Pick small achievable goals and build on your success rather than trying to make large sweeping changes
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/21 02:14 PM
2

I’ve been listening to it for probably a year now. Suzanne by herself can be a little much sometimes but I really enjoy the guests she brings on! It’s a good resource
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/21 07:06 PM
5

It is hard to switch between if you can’t see/understand the two dynamics. Much in the way that you unknowingly emasculated your husband. But when you are aware, understand, and are consciously deciding how to behave it becomes easy and even enjoyable. I’d say another misconception is that red pill men don’t do housework/childcare. In fact since I started acting in the ways taught in the surrendered wife my husband does way more and I don’t have to ask or nag him to do it. When a husband feels e…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/21 08:22 PM
5

Ah, the Classic passion trap! Check out the book the passion trap by Dean c. Delis. It’s very insightful to the roles we play in intimate relationships and how to work on shifting to a healthier pattern.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/21 02:16 PM
13

Being red pill does not have to mean you are at home full time. That’s a common misconception. It just means that in interactions with your husband you take the more feminine role and he takes the more masculine role. Many rp women work in some capacity however usually not as an equal or sole breadwinner. Even the most badass ceo can have a successful marriage if she is able to switch gears from her masculine work role into a more feminine home role. I don’t really know about getting the book ea…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/21 12:23 PM
3

It sounds as though you’re afraid that the women posting here aren’t being supported and you need reassurance that the women are valued
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/21 03:08 AM
3

You seem really angry but I’m not sure I understand why. Would you be willing to clarify?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/21 02:56 AM
42

Read Laura Doyle’s book the surrendered wife. When you said you’re reconsidering everything I felt so happy and hopeful because it’s so rare to find people who are self aware enough and willing to consider their own patterns and part in a circumstance. I think that children can put you in “manager” mode and cause you to manage your husband much like you do your kids. It’s not on purpose or conscious and it can even be well intentioned (I’m helping!) but really it erodes a man’s masculinity. That…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/21 02:17 AM
3

Yay! I’m so happy to hear that. Keep listening for the little things that mean a lot to your husband and prioritize those, they may not be what you expect and can be way more meaningful than more time consuming or costly gestures. Happy to chat anytime, the new baby transition is so hard. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/21 04:02 PM
3

Ugh babies are horrible for relationships 😂. Maybe try re-incorporating the greeting/leaving ritual or make a new ritual where you spend five or ten minutes just with each other before bed or first thing or whenever you can squeeze it in. It sounds like that time alone where you admire and desire him is really important to your husband. Use that time to thank him for working so hard to provide for the family. I don’t know if you like to read but try reading Love and Respect by Emerson eggerichs …
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/21 04:02 PM
14

I would suggest narrowing it down to the things that really make him feel cared for and prioritize those. While you’re running around trying to cook/clean/look Put together it’s possible that those efforts are not what he needs/values and your good intentions and effort are for naught. I could put literally anything on the table for my husband to eat and he wouldn’t care but he feels hurt and uncared for when there isn’t a clean towel waiting for him when he steps out of the shower.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/21 03:42 AM
5

I used to work, yes I could not imagine trying to maintain a household, care for my children AND work. That’s way too much for me. I see all the women around me doing this and I feel bad for them because I don’t think they realize what this is actually going to look like especially as they end mat leave/their children get older I do housework In the week and the bare minimum on the weekend. I imagine you would spend much of your weekend doing housework if you were working all week. I feel like i…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/21 10:40 PM
0

I want to toss in wonder weeks. It’s sort of controversial but I believe it because my kids went through fussy periods pretty bang on. It helped me a lot to know that it wasnt something I was doing wrong and it was just how they were developing. https://www.thewonderweeks.com/the-mental-leaps-and-wonder-weeks/ I never bought the book because if you google the leap/ wonder week you can find the info on baby center or other forums. The first year is entirely about survival and don’t let anyone tel…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/21 11:19 PM
4

The birth of a baby and becoming parents is no joke. It’s hard to find your footing both individually and as a relationship. We are almost two years out from having our second child and our marriage has never been better. THERE IS HOPE! Always willing to be an ear to a fellow internet stranger
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/21 04:14 PM
1

If you are Christian (or can handle a lot of scripture in the book) you can read Love and Respect by Emerson eggerichs. It’s for both men and women if your husband is willing to read it too! I’d also suggest Suzanne venker’s book guide for alpha females and podcast. While Suzanne herself is a little much, the guest she brings on are too notch. https://www.suzannevenker.com/podcast/ Also try reading the passion trap!
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/21 02:11 PM
10

Lol! I discovered cooking bacon on a sheet pan a few years ago. Way way better than frying it in a frying pan! I cook two kinds, a pack of regular thin bacon and some thick bacon slices (husband likes those). I just cook them, drain in paper towels, store in container in the fridge until needed We have “weekend breakfast” with sausages, hash browns, bacon, eggs, and English muffins with cheese melted on them. I put the precooked bacon on the tray with the English muffins and pop it all under the…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/21 12:13 PM
26

I do specific days of the week. Saturday’s is my husbands laundry, Thursday is my laundry and towels, Sunday is bedding/sheet laundry. And I run a load of kids laundry every night. Lol while we’re at it Monday is meal planning/grocery ordering day, Tuesday is clean/vacuuming main and top floors, Wednesday clean/vaccuum downstairs and receive my grocery order, Thursday is bathroom cleaning day, Friday is bacon cooking day, Saturday and Sunday no housework beyond laundry/making beds/making meals
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/21 03:07 AM
8

My husband was off for 8 weeks too 😂 and I still didn’t keep up appearances. What does that say about me! Lol. All jokes aside the advice is from Mark manson’s book the subtle art of not giving a f*ck. I read it recently and it was life changing! It’s a good resource if you wanted to learn more
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/21 05:21 PM
20

Wow. Daily shower hair and makeup? You’re doing waaaaay more than I did postpartum!! Also your softer body just makes you more feminine! I say embrace it. That’s not to say you can’t lose weight or tone or workout or whatever but don’t discount yourself exactly as you are. I believe your husband when he says he doesn’t mind your new shape. I think this issue is more with the standards you are holding yourself to! If you believe that you have to look a certain way you will ALWAYS feel like a fail…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/21 04:20 PM
21

When they say those things it’s about themselves and how they feel about their own choices. People are rarely being objective enough to actually be commenting on you and your situation. We get so caught up in our own stuff and accidentally put that on other people
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/21 04:15 PM
22

We swear by Early bedtimes. Kids are in bed by 630/7, we’re showered and in each others’ arms by 8. Our kids are little though (under 5). We work VERY hard to prioritize physical intimacy. We block out time and protect it. We Light the fire so to speak way before we hit the bedroom. Morning cuddling/teasing, Texting, a deep kiss when he comes in the door, etc etc. We are currently planning for the school age phase. Considering turning our half basement into our room/sex area (kids rooms on upper…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/21 11:59 PM
4

This requires equipment but step aerobics! I got a step board on amazon for not much at all. I don’t follow any fancy routines or programs, just basic up up down down over and over. I do it to music which helps with pacing. I worked my way up from 96 beats/steps per minute to 124. I was also super out of shape when I started so I worked up from 5 minutes to 30. I change up my playlist regularly to keep it interesting.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/21 03:30 AM
16

Personally I think it makes sense as long as you are finding an alpha woman who enjoys leading. These dynamics do not necessarily have to be limited to heterosexual couples. I’m fairly open though to recognizing and appreciating the spectrum of sexuality that exists in humans. I kind of think this is true in any relationship (friendship, parent/child, boss/employee, etc) in the sense that if you have two leaders duking it out or two betas lounging about nothing will ever get done.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/21 05:05 PM
16

Ah ha! This sounds like a love language issue. My husband is always trying to show me love through touch however my love language is words of affirmation. I hear and absorb words of affirmation better. I am always telling my husband kind and thoughtful words whereas to him a kind touch would convey more love. We tend to show others love in the way that we want it and not necessarily in the way that they need it. It’s possible that your partner does not value acts of service in the same way that …
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/21 09:58 PM
13

A woman’s education/work sphere speaks nothing about her relationship sphere. It’s entirely possible that she presents one way to the world and a different way to her husband.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/21 05:39 PM
6

Read “codependency no more” by melody Beattie!
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/21 03:00 PM
2

I’m really so happy that you’ve found the book so helpful. It’s refreshing and honest and a bit of a hard pill to swallow to see how unhealthy you’ve been behaving. I think a lot of people in the comments sections on amazon who say this book is dumb just weren’t ready to hear those hard truths about themselves. I will say one thing though. It’s important to realize that change is a process. At first you will only see the patterns and they will still play out and you will feel bad. Then you will …
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/21 02:36 PM
2

The part about metrics was EVERYTHING to me. I can’t remember what chapter it was though. I’m so glad it’s resonating with you ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/21 02:32 AM
18

I would recommend the book “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” by Mark Manson. I just read it and it really opened my eyes to ways that I’m behaving in an entitled or victim oriented way. It really helped me become aware of my thought and behaviour patterns. Once I could see and recognize them I’ve started working on changing them. The book was so interesting, easy to read, and some of the lessons/concepts I use daily in my life. Cant say enough good things!
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/21 11:46 PM
7

Laura Doyle’s book the surrendered wife. Suzanne venker podcast!
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/21 03:07 AM
2

I say just don’t tell him. If the washer breaks it breaks. He will learn his lesson and your relationship/intimacy will remain intact. Needing to say something about how he does the laundry is in effect saying how the laundry gets done is more important than respecting your husband as a capable human being 🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/21 11:09 PM
1

I like foreplayrst with Laurie Watson and George faller. It’s more so about sex though https://www.foreplayrst.com
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/21 07:33 PM
1

Lol 😂
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/21 04:28 PM
23

I was banned from r/breakingmom because I posted here about a podcast that I listen to and thought others might enjoy. Breakingmom is a pretty toxic environment though so 🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/21 11:32 PM
5

Professors with academic prowess can also be feminine. Women who are intellectual and can “keep up” with their men can also be feminine. Being feminine does not mean being a flat one dimensional people pleaser with no aspirations or success
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/21 03:25 AM
3

Laura Doyle’s books! I read the surrendered wife but I know she has a book for singles specifically as well.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/21 04:34 PM
6

I would suggest reading come as you are, mating in captivity by ester perel, and/or the foreplay radio sex therapy podcast with Laurie Watson and George faller. Maybe even enhancing couple sexuality by Barry McCarthy. Most women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone. If you can broaden your idea of sex to include multiple stimulation or different activities (oral, hands) that “count” as sex it may be easier. The McCarthy book talks about coming together to enjoy touch as opposed to coming toge…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/21 04:30 PM
3

Suzanne venker podcast!! Also foreplay radio sex therapy with Laurie Watson and George faller.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/21 03:26 AM
5

I got a step board and I’m doing some really basic step aerobics! Even though it doesn’t really involve arms I’ve noticed toning and fat loss over my whole body. I just do 30 minutes a day every weekday. I’ve been working on increasing the length (started with 5 minutes and worked up to 30) and pace and have gone from roughly 96 bpm up to 115. My goal is to get to 130 bpm. There are tons of routines on YouTube for free and step boards are like 50-60 dollars on amazon
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/21 11:36 PM
14

I think it’s a good reflection of what it feels like to be “swimming against the tide” in today’s society. I especially like how you focused on the distinction between professional and personal life. I think many people imagine that red pill is about going back to the 50s with women only as homemakers/doormats whereas that is not the truth and is one of the biggest myths/barriers to people adopting this lifestyle. The English teacher in me struggled with your use of the word “gonna” and “wanna” …
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/21 03:18 PM
5

I’ve enjoyed come as you are by Emily Nagoski, the gifts of imperfection by brene brown (she has tons of books and some Ted talks), Mating in captivity by Esther Perel (LOVED this book - can not say enough good things about it) I just finished “codependent no more” by melody Beattie - a life changing read!!!! On deck I’ve got “wild power” by Sjanie Hugo wurlitzer Oh and of course the surrendered wife by Laura Doyle (also life changing and how I ended up redpill) I get a lot of ideas of books to …
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/21 03:24 PM
30

Laura Doyle would tell you that 1) if his habit/behaviour is bothering you that much it’s because you’re not doing enough self care and 2) ignore/deal with it without complaining to your spouse. If it’s really bothering you, Tell a friend who will listen and remind you that your spouse is good and more than just that annoying behaviour. Personally I keep a gratitude journal about my spouse. Every day I write two things I appreciated or kind things he did/said. It helps train your brain to look f…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/21 06:23 PM
3

Thank you. I feel like I needed to hear this angle and be reminded that it may not even be about me, it may just be at me. I think I felt so hurt about it because it is really uncharacteristic of him. I feel like in a day or two I will approach him to have a conversation about his family visiting and his expectations regarding that. This could be avoided in the future if we are more on the same page.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 10:35 PM
5

No lol. Not a jerk. We do have a strained relationship with his family though and that makes a lot of sense. Like he would already be on edge/guarded and then I am perceived by him as an attack. I was just thinking about how we both have roles that we play in regards to his family visiting and how he has to be willing to examine his in role in order for the situation to improve. Like my attitude/behaviour is not the only factor in this being a shitty situation
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/21 10:27 PM
12

Someone else posted about exactly this 12 days ago... I remember because I shared my experience of getting banned from r/breakingmom
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 04:23 PM
2

Same here although I did make a red pill women post. My post was about books and podcasts to use as resources lol.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/21 04:19 PM
9

It’s true about them being miserable, it’s really sad! And you can super easily see how redpill tenets would make huge differences in their relationships and their lives.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/21 05:28 PM
19

I’m banned from posting/commenting on r/breakingmom because I posted on r/redpillwomen. Similar message
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/21 03:52 PM
1

https://www.foreplayrst.com/category/podcast/
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/21 02:53 PM
3

Yeah they call if foreplay radio sex therapy. With Laurie Watson and George Faller (sp?)
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/21 12:43 PM
11

I’ve enjoyed come as you are by Emily Nagoski, the gifts of imperfection by brene brown (she has tons of books and some Ted talks), Mating in captivity by Esther Perel (LOVED this book - can not say enough good things about it) I’m in the midst of “codependent no more” by melody Beattie - seems like it will be a worthwhile read On deck I have “enhancing couple sexuality by Barry McCarthy I also frequently listen to foreplayrst podcast. Listening to the pursuer/withdrawer dynamic stuff (podcasts …
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/21 01:26 AM
10

Suzanne venker podcast is really good. She also has a book. And Laura Doyle books. I’ve been reading/listening to a lot of books on other things like sexuality and codependency but I don’t know that that interests you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/21 09:19 PM
3

Alpha females guide to men and marriage by Suzanne Venker. She also has a podcast which is really fantastic and features experts who discuss red pilled topics and most of whom have their own books. Laura doyle’s book the surrendered wife.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/21 09:07 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter