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20172018_Throwaway Archive

View 0 posts and 53 comments by 20172018_Throwaway on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

The point in this is for her to lose interest in you. If your actions arouse her, you're in for a hell of a ride.
/r/MGTOW20/10/18 01:25 PM
1

Another point, you are basically hiring a lawyer to think and advocate for your FUTURE self, they are typically good at thinking like that. Sometimes even with the emotions off, future thinking is missed. My main goal was to be able to provide a stable home for my kids, what did that mean immediately for us, and up to adulthood? There are a lot of variables, both financially, and with custody.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/18 06:28 PM
1

Over not having representation? Absolutely. Mos tof us here needed to borrow to pay for the lawyer fees. I am finally at the point where I can pay mine in cash (while I am paying off a loan that covered the lion's share.) You could also file to have your spouse pay, that gets a little complicated. Find a lawyer to communicate well with that will represent you well and discuss the cost.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/18 06:24 PM
9

We are nearing the end of our divorce process. Yeah, this is like level 1 do not engage. Please don't, it is likely a tactic.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/18 02:49 PM
1

Right! In my journey I also learned that 'amicable' also does not mean 'sane' or 'logical.'
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/18 05:52 PM
2

That helps a lot. Maybe get everything down on paper (no justifications, just facts) on what you think would be equitable and give it to her. Just keep it to financials and say you're open to feedback anytime. Give her time to process it. It just sounds like you have different lives. That happens, and you need to navigate it to have a healthy marriage. Keep in mind she supported you with your parent situation, and it would be nice to zee you doing the same, even though your need has passed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/18 11:25 PM
4

You do not need a reason to divorce. It is obviously a relationship changer. What does your wife's life look like after divorce? What happens today if you die right now? Something is not adding up for me as far as what your wife's perspective would be. If you got real with the divorce thing and I thought there was money that I had an interest in, and you use phrases like 'I let you use the car'...I'd lawyer up. In fact I'd probably be more prepared for divorce than you think. My two cents.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/18 10:12 PM
1

The thing is your trust does not mean shit in two very specific ways: 1) When the state gets involved 2) When each party moves from thinking as a team to thinking individualistically. A good lawyer will take your genuine care and goals in mind and make sure you are legally protected (and able to continue to be caring!)
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/18 01:26 PM
4

Hard to tell with no other info bit when you're willing to let the judge decide, the offer can't be good. Are you prepared with a degree you absolutely don't like, and it not being your decision at all?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/18 11:17 PM
6

Go to /r/divorce and /r/survivinginfidelity I would not move out without temporary custody orders. Moving out before that is the number one mistake men make in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/18 11:57 AM
1

Did you run away from your home? Is your home currently with your mother?
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/18 10:37 AM
2

I think it is reasonable to bring him up to speed. Hell, it seemed at times my lawyer needed to be brought up to speed with an ongoing case!
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/18 06:22 PM
11

Nice! It is pretty cool to adjust your household to your specific useage. For me it was cancelling cable, grocery shopping for a week at a time with little surplus food, doing chores on set days.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/18 12:13 AM
3

This is common (the blaming.) You know the score; don't even engage in those discussion because of hey have nothing to do with you (or uour choices.)
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/18 07:14 PM
4

Caring is dangerous at the moment. Practice risk mitigation.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/18 07:13 PM
1

Inhumane treatment?
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/18 11:56 PM
3

Yes. I was awakened to the behavior at marriage couselling before she called it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/18 02:34 PM
1

Marriage counselling works under a certain set of conditions, which your situation lacks some or all of: Genuine will to work on marriage by both parties A foundation of trust and love to go back to and build on The ability of both parties to be introspective The ability of both parties to refram their perspectives Accountability held by both parties on their role in the destruction and healing of the marriage You might not get these right away, but if progress is not being made.on tjem MC will …
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/18 01:44 PM
1

I would not mention the lawyer, see if you can do the paperwork pro-se and just use the lawyer for review. Find a lawyer you like in case she hires a lawyer. Doing a 50/50 split with a spender seems shitty up front but you gain in the long run, because while they continue spending, it is no longer on your dime. Look to minimize future money given to spender.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/18 10:19 AM
2

My marriage had tones of this, and I grew up hearing my mom criticizing my dad, so I thought it was normal. Being put down either constantly, or jokingly, or as part of a dynamic in a relationship is wrong. You can and should shut that down as soon as possible and expect respect from your partners.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/18 10:15 AM
1

They will not send it to the underwriter because you are involved in litegation. A loan officer should be able to get you a close enough idea though.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/18 06:17 PM
2

The only thing better than a mediator is amicable pro-se with lawyer review for durability. I suppose you could consider pure pro-se better but sometimes the MSA needs to be reworked after divorce, and that is difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/18 08:48 PM
2

I would not tell her you know at all, just fight like a devil for custody. Hire a lawyer without letting her know, and file. (Tell the lawyer everything, and follow their recommendation.) You other route would be to see if you can go amicably, via 'giving her freedom' and 'you want the best for her' and holding internally to what you think is equitable. Again, don't share your knowledge, nor 'extract revenge' because of what you know. Just get the job done.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/18 12:18 PM
2

Sounds like transparency (to someone) will help. I would start there, you are digging a hole you are already having a hard time getting out of. There is no 'easy button' even as you describe your willingness to sacrifice yourself. (I find that odd, seeing as you've caused the issues.) Find and fix the root issues, not just the consequences of your actions.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/18 09:21 AM
2

There is only so much you, as a friend, can do. What you describe has me thinking your friend needs to stabilize his mind and work on building a future within himself. He needs to find a therapist he is comfortable with, speaking about and working towards independence.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/18 08:19 AM
3

Divorce is not fast. Complicated divorces are typically slow, and possibly expensive. Every lawyer knows they are a fool if they are their own client. Your friend needs a plan, of safety and security. Your friend will benefit form outside help, professional. Legal and medical. Start with the lawyer and put everything on the table. Maybe you can go to consults with your friend? Godspeed
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/18 02:49 AM
2

Bad bot, Chuck Norris would be held in contempt if he showed up to some dude's trial and starts coding.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/18 10:05 AM
1

Court is easy. Be honest. Listen and answer directly. Keep answers simple and do not explain past simple unless asked to. Have and show respect for the judge/commissioner. Dress nicely, don't joke around, don't talk about how you are coping with things. This is all business, and you're looking to bring an end to the partnership (with the State.)
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/18 09:53 AM
1

Good. Judges do not like being fucked with. You have bad luck as your stbxw picked a poor lawyer but that is out of your control. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/18 01:25 PM
1

What you have written makes it seem you are not rational about your divorce. Are you? Do you have a lawyer, what do they think?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/18 10:14 AM
3

Losing your economy of scale is a reality of divorce. In the US, most states will force the sale of a home if the couple cannot agree on who it goes to. Your home for your boys will be where you make it; please consider 50/50 custody as they will benefit from both parents.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/18 10:38 PM
2

Hire a good lawyer who understands your goals, communicates well and knows the local court. Give direction and instruction and have the lawyer deal with your stbxw. Take control of your future, do not leave the family home, be present for your children. If your stbxw is monopolizing the kid's time, file for emergency orders.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/18 01:32 PM
3

Personally I would seek a divorce if I knew for sure there was no genuine love there from my spouse to me, and I would not ever reconcile. This is slightly different than how my spouse behaves or communicates, which are skills which can be worked on. The 'genuine love' part is a choice on thier part, altruism of sorts, and if it is not there...what do you have, really? I recommend the book "Too Bad to Stay, Too Good to Leave" often. The exercises are helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/18 11:48 AM
3

I guess all I would say is think about your future from your perspective, and how you wife fits into it. Not an ideal you mihht have about your wife, but her actual self. You have gotten a glimpse of that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/18 03:10 AM
2

It is healthy to have boundaries, you want that for youself and for others. I did not learn the skill growing up (dominant mother) and only had instict to go on when mine were crossed (reactive fighting.) Only as an adult did I learn how important it is to set/knownand communicate them healthily.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/18 12:08 PM
2

I think he needs to learn to set and maintain boundaries, which was likely highlighted in therapy. That is going to require practice, and would include current and future relationships. Is it possible he is either placing a boundary with you (in an odd, inexperienced way) or he fears not being able to do so with you, and is cutting off the relationship. Might be a worthwhile conversation, if you are both up for it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/18 10:44 AM
2

Another 5 years of that seems to be a long time. I believe when are done, you're done, and it makes sense to act on that as quickly as possible. As for the kids, they are all different and will need to cope with the change. That is a part of life, and they are old enough to endure those changes.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/18 08:50 AM
1

Once I realized my reality and my ex's reality (ha!) would never align (nor be close) I knew we were done. While I could reframe my thoughts, my ex could/would not.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/18 08:18 AM
5

I understand the emotional response, but you just described maintanace/alimony, not child support. (In my state, at least.)
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/18 06:40 PM
2

If that is a legit diagnosis, read this: Amazon
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/18 04:02 PM
5

Simply, hire a good lawyer and follow their advice to a T. Envision what you would like to end up with and communicate. Be introspective, and listen to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/18 05:02 PM
3

I do not think joint legal custody means 'mutual' personally. For example, kid says she wants to join the military, mom says no, dad says yes. Guess what? Kid is in military now. You can have different opinions on things (I sure hope so!) and joint legal custody means you can act on them. My two cents.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/18 12:41 PM
1

I would add the condition that these things are agreed to in a signed Marital Separation Agreement and filed before I moved out. That way, you can shift the leverage to a trial, where the MSA will be the starting point.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/18 04:43 PM
1

Statue Interpretation
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/18 05:45 PM
1

In Wisconsin, both child support amounts and health insurance coverage (minimum) for children is specified in law. Child support will be calculated after any maintenance is applied. Heath insurance costs are part of those calculations. I highly recommend buying this software (an Excel workbook) since you are in Wisconsin, it will help determine the numbers: Taxcalc 2018 It covers both child support and maintenance. I think HOW you pay for health insurance is negotiable, but I think the courts ex…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/18 04:51 PM
1

Is that a term life insurance plan? (Cost seems high.) If it is whole life or convertable I would consider it an asset. If it is term I would tell her to pound sand and chose who I wanted to be the beneficiary.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/18 03:12 PM
1

I'm holding onto the hope that this is a phase or a mid life crisis. Super simular situation here and in my case I know it is finite (due to her personality.) I will say it is possible that if the transition happens poorly the marriage is no longer salvagable (by your terms.)
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/18 07:09 PM
9

Some people are just shitty people, nothing you will do will fix that I am afraid
/r/MGTOW27/03/18 02:47 PM
3

Look at any guy married to a cluster b type woman and you will see a corpse of a human being. They literally drain the life out of you like an emotional vampire. Not a good look, I know it well.
/r/MGTOW26/03/18 03:22 PM
3

Decide if filing a police report is the way to go? Perhaps at least call them to talk about the legality of the action?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/18 12:52 PM
1

Some serious questions: Does your state require child support past 18 HS graduation? Is there a large income difference in you and your spouse's income? If the answer is no to both, why not look at going pro se and split everything (which is nothing) 50-50? Even if your spouse is delusionally making up numbers you can possibly work past that yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/18 06:49 PM
3

I interviewed looking for troubleshooting skills and familiarity with the local (family) court system.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/18 06:47 PM
2

She sounds depressed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/17 10:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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