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22byseven Archive

View 1 post and 21 comments by 22byseven on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
61

22byseven/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 01:08 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

I was in a similar situation. It was my daughter’s fourth birthday, the first since the divorce. My ex-wife brought her new boyfriend and invited only her friends. I dreaded it, but I went. I shook his hand and said hello to everyone there, knowing my ex had likely said unkind things about me. Then I focused on my kids and made sure they had the best time possible. Looking back, that was one of the best decisions I made for setting the tone after the divorce. I love my kids more than I hate my e…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:29 AM
2

Coming out on top isn’t about beating your ex. It’s about learning to love your kids, your partner, your career, your life more than you resent your ex. I learned that the tit for tat only made things worse for me in the end. It’s like pissing your pants, warm and comforting at first, then cold, uncomfortable, and isolating. I know I’m on top now because I don’t think about her at all. That misdirected energy is gone, replaced with the things that actually matter.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:52 PM
9

I still feel a deep emptiness when my kids aren’t with me three years later. The silver lining is that it has become a powerful motivator. I lean in even more as a father and make every moment count when I do have them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 03:21 AM
2

I wanted a 50/50 custody arrangement, but my ex refused to agree. She used custody as leverage to negotiate for more assets. I decided I wasn’t going to play that game and settled for an expanded standard schedule (I’m in Texas). That means I have the kids on the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends (Thursday–Monday) plus every Thursday evening to Friday morning. When I ran the numbers, it came out to roughly a 47%–53% split.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 08:03 PM
2

I understand. If she’s anything like my ex, she’ll probably keep doing those things. What helped me was shifting my mindset from “She can’t keep getting away with this,” which only led to stress and anger, to “She’s going to do what she’s going to do, and I’m going to suck it up and focus on what’s best for my kids.” It wasn’t easy, but it made a big difference for my mental health. Wishing you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 07:46 PM
6

I've been through this myself. What I eventually realized is, "I love my kids more than I dislike my ex-wife." So, I handle the tough parts -pickups, drop-offs, and everything in between -even though our agreement says she should handle drop-offs. At first, it frustrated me, but over time, I reframed it in my mind as an extra 30 minutes in the car with my kids. Since then, I haven't felt any resentment.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 05:35 PM
1

Yes, all assets are divided 50/50 starting from the date of filing. However, before reaching a settlement, there will be an informal discovery process. During this time, you'll be required to provide two years' worth of bank and credit card statements so they can determine if any funds were siphoned off or hidden prior to the divorce. Any such findings could potentially be addressed through waste claims.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 05:04 PM
4

I can relate to this deeply. Even after an amazing week with my kids, the drive home from drop-off is always tough. Like others have mentioned, the best way I’ve found to channel that energy is by being fully present in the moments I do have with them. Try not to dwell on the small details or second-guess yourself about the weekend. The fact that you feel this way speaks volumes about how much you care and how thoughtful you are as a dad. Your kids are lucky to have you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 10:42 AM
2

They were “family”. Didn’t really even care that they did pay me back. They insisted. When my wife filed for divorce and then pushed for 70 / 30 asset separation in her favor I brought it up and my lawyer said it could not be considered. Live and learn. :)
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 08:38 PM
13

I would double check with a lawyer that the loan from her parents is in play. I gave a 250k loan to my ex-in laws while married and because there was nothing documented and signed stating it was a loan it was treaded as a gift and not included in assets to split. This was in Texas. Edit: worth noting the $250k was for a down payment for their house.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 03:54 PM
1

Maybe it'll take some time then. Don't be too hard on yourself. It does get easier w/ time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 11:35 PM
2

I hear you man. We were dealt a bad hand. Be surrounded by people that don’t like us or don’t show up for our kids. I’ve found that thinking about it that way helps me show up for my kids no matter what and for everyone else: fuck em. :)
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:20 PM
8

The mantra “I love my kids more than I hate my ex” really helped me work through a lot of hard things that came along with divorce. Specifically, in any situation that would sucked for me but might be good for them I.e., my ex inviting her new bf to my kid’s birthday party (which she did). I asked myself which scenario my kids would prefer. They clearly wanted everyone they loved together, so I sucked it up and went. When things got hard and awkward I reminded myself this is all for them. It hel…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 08:55 PM
6

I realized that I loved my kids more than I hated my ex-wife. Sounds like you do too. When the dust settles (and it will) you will be glad you took the high road. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 04:13 PM
7

Ha. Good point. Quick aside -have you ever thought about how weird it is that we take an animal (chicken) kill it and then shape it as another animal (dinosaur). We are a strange species.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 01:26 AM
6

Ha! Haven’t heard that one yet.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:58 PM
7

What else can you do? It’s such a cultural norm. It’s clear they don’t mean it with any malice, but it’s incredibly disrespectful.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 04:27 PM
3

I hear you. I mean it was clear neither of these people meant it with any malice. I just found it shocking that that’s where thief heads went. A man leaning into spend time with his kids has to have a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 04:21 PM
3

Well said!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 04:18 PM
5

I hear you. My STBXW has racked up 60k in 4 months. We have accomplished nothing but a temporary order. Discovery just wrapped up. We have a mediation session in a few weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 02:04 AM
1

I’m going through something similar. Not a shred of being called controlling, abusive, or narcissistic until she initiated divorce. Now I am accused of being all 3 in a regular basis. Where does this narrative come from? Seems very common in these threads.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 10:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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