TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

33MinutesOnABike Archive

View 1 post and 29 comments by 33MinutesOnABike on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

33MinutesOnABike/r/Divorce_Men07/11/17 03:30 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Ugh. Sorry you don't have a sister, man. My sister is my best friend and my biggest cheerleader. She's always been 257,000% in my corner and always in some crazy-ass way, too. Definitely find somebody who can be your hype person. That's important, I think. This Reddit thread is pretty hyped for you too. We're all cheering for you, dude. 👊
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 02:50 PM
5

When I first got divorced, a friend of mine gave me the best advice: Don't sweat the small stuff. This is the small stuff (not saying it didn't hit a nerve, tho; I get your point). Let it go and enjoy your otherwise pretty cool-sounding life. You've got this, dude.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 01:34 PM
5

Move on. The last 10 years are a sunk cost. You probably already know that and are just looking for validation. You have it. Get out & find a partner who adds, not subtracts.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 01:25 PM
1

Yeah, I went through it with my then 14 y/o daughter and lost out. Lots of factors I don't feel comfortable getting into here, but none of them - zero - had to do with my fitness to be a dad to my daughter. It's an uphill battle, I'm not going to lie. Please chat with a lawyer re your specific situation and risk tolerance though. FWIW, if you handle it the right way, the expense shouldn't be THAT big. For a good atty, it's likely just a motion and (maybe) an oral argument. The big potential cost…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/20 09:48 PM
1

How old is your daughter and what does she want to do (if she was alone in a room with the judge and being totally honest)? If she's young, you might have better luck than if she's a little older and expresses a desire to go (even if you want her to stay). It's a "best interest" standard, so all the facts matter. Hate to say it, but talk to a lawyer so you can decide where to draw the cost/benefit line for YOU. Good luck, pal. Been there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/20 09:28 PM
12

Maybe 2 dads at some point, but only 1 father forever. Keep your chin up and hang tough. You're doing the right thing by putting your kids first. Keep it up, man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 03:32 PM
1

Spending time with your kids is the best Xmas present you can give (and get). Feeling for you, buddy. Merry Christmas!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 11:13 AM
4

It all depends. My story is very similar to yours - long term marriage (20+), 3 great kids, no infidelity, no financial hardships, etc. Just fell out of love. But, when she decided it was time for it to end, she scorched the earth. Filed the divorce petition on Valentine's Day, moved across the entire country, doesn't even talk to me anymore (and when she does, it's so mean and full of disdain). She says that articles she's read tell her we can't be friends and so she ain't doin' it. I'd love to…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/19 05:42 PM
2

👊
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/19 06:38 PM
1

Hang tough, my man. You sound like a stand up guy & dad. I'm pulling for ya!
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/19 11:26 PM
1

He also says he sees his child for 1.5 hours a day over a week's time when he drives north to visit. Given the facts, imho, that sounds wrong. But, like I said, he needs to feel that he wants more and a lawyer who'll take it to the mat for him. Otherwise, yeah, just accept the status quo. I can imagine good arguments for taking either approach depending on the person and situation.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/19 09:43 PM
1

Oof. Really feelin' for ya, buddy. Honestly, I hate to say this, but you may have the wrong lawyer. There are lawyers who aren't fighters (more "art of the deal" folks which is fine for purely financial or amicable splits) and there are lawyers who advocate for you the way you would do it. If you feel strongly enough about this - and what you've written suggests you might - then you should go find a lawyer who will fight tooth-and-nail every minute until you either win or you lose, but at least …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/19 05:21 PM
4

<disclaimer: I'm a lawyer (not divorce)> Yes, call your lawyer and get that zipped up. Don't mess with it yourself. Good luck, buddy! (me: also going through this)
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/19 02:24 AM
1

Yes. Often it's the best thing in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/19 09:20 PM
5

Wait. You have an actual court order for support that's not being followed? If that's true, and your atty doesn't care about it, then you have the wrong attorney. Get a new attorney who will get what's due you. Often, the new attorney will get the case transferred over from the old atty w/o you having to do anything. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/18 08:53 PM
1

Yup. Sounds familiar. I'm also very impatient, which is why, when I was in the middle of it, I didn't appreciate how important the time element was in the healing. Here's to a soft landing for you, one way or the other. Peace.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/18 04:13 PM
2

Sorry you're dealing with this. In my case what helped was my kids, my family, my friends, a good counselor ... and, honestly, just a little time. So, from what you've said, I think you're headed the right direction. It's just takes time. Keep swimming & keep up the good work. Hang tight.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/18 12:12 PM
2

I think you're in the right frame of mind for what she plans on bringing to your doorstep. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/18 05:41 PM
2

Yup. Get an attorney ... even if you & your wife mediate a resolution ypurselves. You'll want a lawyer to backstop you so you don't do anything that you don't have to or that will jeopardize your rights. When emotions run high, having an advocate who's thinking clearly as a sounding board is helpful. My $0.02. On a personal note, try to relax. Things are white hot right now, but everything will be okay. I'm sorry you're going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/18 02:11 PM
2

Wow. I'm with you. That blows. It might be tough for your daughter to say no to her own mother; and your ex probably views (wrongly) your daughter's participation as a public and tangible way to validate what she's done. If your daughter's an adult, you might be able to tell her how this made you feel. Obviously, your ex is too self-centered to maturely engage in that conversation. Either way, hopefully, you can move on to happier times soon, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/17 03:37 PM
4

With a few tweaks to your experience, this sounds a heck of a lot like me and my ex. I got the "I don't love you anymore" bomb too. What you're feeling is completely normal. That profound sadness (like a death) came on for me at odd times -- listening to country music in the car, at church or even (get this) watching an episode of The Office where two of the main characters got married in a ridiculously goofy, but touching ceremony. I read your story, and I so want to tell you exactly how to fix…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/17 04:36 AM
2

Ha. The ex is setting me up - welcome to my divorce (and many others, I'd guess) :) Yep, my lawyer's well aware of the issue. I'm just throwing out a line to see if anyone else has been through this tussle ... and has any good real-life "learnings" to share (e.g., success, failure, gotchas, etc.). Always good to hear more than just the legal angle. Thx!
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/17 06:58 PM
2

I'll cross my fingers for you. I'm in CA (Bay Area) and as the other guy said, my retainer was $7,500 and I've spent $25k already and there's no end in sight. It's unbelievable how two divorce lawyers can burn through cash. It's almost like they try to burn through it ... Anyway, good luck, man. Sorry to hear ...
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/17 02:34 AM
1

The 401(k) plan administrator often has a model/template "qualified domestic relations order" (QDRO) - check there first. The PA is required by federal law to have a set of "QDRO procedures" & so you should get a copy of those, too. The PA will review any proposed order you submit to make sure it meets legal & plan requirements (and it'll reject your proposed order if not) and so it helps everyone, and saves time, for there to be a model/template as a starting place. Note: the PA will NOT review…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/17 01:05 PM
1

I hear you, but absent extenuating circumstances I'd think long and hard about staying together for any reason other than husband/wife love. The fear of losing your wife for good is far worse than the reality. Your kids will always love you & will always be your pride & joy. You'll always be close. Your wife, once out of the marriage will either fade away or become your friend. Just don't let an attempted reconciliation put you in a worse position financially. Agree, in writing, that if it doesn…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/17 12:25 AM
1

This might be cynical, but if you're the primary bread-winner, an attempted reconciliation that doesn't work out can screw you. If that's your situation (who knows ... maybe she's the primary bread-winner?), consider entering into an agreement that will leave you in no worse position wrt anything you may owe her in a divorce than would have been the case with your original separation date. In a community property state, this problem can even be magnified. Having said that, I hope it works out an…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/17 04:38 AM
1

Your lawyer will likely do whatever you want; however, in the absence of direction, a lawyer should (imho) show you anything that's being sent out, particularly if it's to be filed in court (in which case, you probably need to sign it before it's filed anyway). Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/17 01:07 AM
2

I mean, absent extenuating circumstances, what kind of a parent doesn't want to help foster a strong relationship between a child and her/his other parent? Isn't that fundamentally understood to be in the kid's best interests? SMH. Good luck, brother ... and good for you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/17 05:13 PM
2

Nope. Sorry, man. A divorce, by itself, won't support a h/s withdrawal; however, depending on what you need the money for, another related event might (as long as your 401k plan allows it. Allowing a hardship withdrawal option is optional for a 401k plan). For example, if you need a h/s withdrawal to buy out your ex-wife's interest in your principal residence as part of the divorce, you may be able to do that. This is a complicated area of 401k plans, and it really depends on what your specific …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/17 07:23 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter