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4theMare_ Archive

View 6 posts and 224 comments by 4theMare_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

What's the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 08:38 PM
1

Guy does 10 years of focused work to reach certain level, pretty girl gets to that level instantly. That's the reality. 10 years of hard work that likely gets him endless dating options for decades vs natural attractiveness that starts to fade before her brain even fully develops. I'll take the former.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 08:31 PM
3

Lol...well you guys did have some good music.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:41 AM
1

The larger a movement gets, the more it's ethos is likely to regress toward the lowest common denominator, especially in these times when everything is driven mainly by profit and clout.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:39 AM
34

Isn't he running a pyramid scheme?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:17 AM
2

Lol not sure if I've come across these in the wild - are they related to the "just be yourself" guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:14 AM
3

😏
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 12:09 AM
4

Very true
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 11:47 PM
4

The most interesting man on PPD
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 11:44 PM
3

I'm cool though, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 11:06 PM
7

Also related to the ones who insist real life is completely different from anything discussed online
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 10:32 PM
11

Lmao good one. Under the surface of "I can't understand why women don't like me" it often gets dark fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 10:29 PM
8

A secondary but I guess vital part of the PPD ecosystem
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 10:26 PM
8

I'm Asian and mainly date Asian girls. My height isn't usually a big deal with them, fortunately. I also dated a 6 ft Nigerian girl once who didn't care about the height difference. I do think American women in general care way more about height than women from other countries for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 07:43 PM
6

Next OLD feature is having men do a vertical jump test.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 07:41 PM
2

Yeah I'm pretty much in the middle. I'm sure things would be a lot different at either plus or minus 4 inches.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 07:40 PM
3

You're basically hoping to get lucky and stumble upon a girl who is single, in a receptive mood, and can find enough they like about you to reciprocate interest based on a short conversation. After accounting for the first two factors you're probably down to like 10-15% at best. Ask yourself what % of women you generally are compatible with and multiply by that % to get your approximate odds of success.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 07:31 PM
17

Agree, I'd guess the 80/20 rule probably applies to height as it does to a lot of things. Give anyone an assortment of options with a few metrics to sort by, and they're going to gravitate toward perceived value, whether it's OLD matches, restaurants, colleges, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 07:14 PM
19

I'm about 5'8" and I've had multiple women tell me if I were just a few inches taller I'd be absolutely killing it. I've also heard from women I've dated that they're glad I'm not taller otherwise I'd probably be out of their league.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 07:01 PM
32

Height in OLD is oddly enough like height for NBA players. On paper, without seeing someone in person, evaluators are always going to overindex on stats like height. In OLD women are essentially trying to scout the best dating prospects with limited information. That's what makes it so difficult for men with suboptimal height - logistically the process favors the Mo Bambas, and doesn't allow the PJ Tuckers to demonstrate the value they bring that's not evident from their physical stats.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 06:57 PM
2

Therapy/life coach is a great call. I can definitely imagine one coming in handy when I'm having an existential crisis while puking over the side of some yacht
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 05:11 PM
0

This is hardcore lol...I love it. I thought you were gonna go a step further and set up a women-only cemetery so men can't even bother you in ghost form.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 04:49 PM
2

Going all-in on IG fame is probably not a bad investment. Cash flow through endorsements and a steady stream of girls sliding into your DMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 04:44 PM
1

Well it's worked for me already and I don't have anywhere near $10M yet lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 04:39 PM
3

Positive Qualities Athletic build (fast metabolism). Late 30s but can pass for 10+ years younger. Love to cook and am pretty good at it. Above-average intelligence: I've scored in the 99th+ percentile on a graduate level entrance exam. I'm also a published writer. Great earning potential, with masters degree and six-figure salary which should only continue to go up. Decent size penis, love giving oral. Flaws Below average height (5'8") Allergic to cats Not very organized in daily life
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:39 PM
10

For me it was more like the scales finally tipped in my favor in my 30s. By then I had enough experience, confidence, and financial stability that it just started to feel a lot easier. Plus your dating pool widens as you get into your 30s - you can date women in their 20s plus your age-group peers who are now racing against their biological clock with a new urgency.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:28 AM
2

True story - once when I was 33 and single, one of my female friends mentioned a friend of hers I might be interested in getting set up with. She said "but she might be too old for you." "How old is she?" I asked. "32." And it wasn't like I had a history of dating younger women or had expressed any specific preference for it. She just assumed a 32 yr old woman might be too old for a 33 yr old man.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 12:08 AM
1

The fact that men can improve their odds significantly through sheer effort is an advantage that compounds over time. A man with any kind of talent and resourcefulness who uses his time wisely is almost bound to come into some success with dating. A woman's upward mobility in the dating market is much, much less.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 10:14 PM
5

Women have it better when they're younger, men have it better overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 10:05 PM
1

Ain't nothing wrong with that. Fat chicks need love too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:59 PM
2

By that same logic, it's not OK to finance an industry that makes goods with exploited child labor, no matter how you try to spin it. Just because you're not watching the exploitation happen makes it better?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:57 PM
1

See my earlier comment re: phones. You're using products that were made by exploited labor for your amusement.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:20 PM
2

One way I look at it is how often an individual's dating choices conform to society's expectations. If you give me a one sentence a description of a person (race, height, background), how accurately can I predict their choices? I would say with pretty good accuracy overall, and tbh I'd probably bet on higher accuracy for women. I know that as an Asian man who is below average in height, certain types of women feel comfortable dating me and certain types don't. You could say that it's all simply …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 09:19 PM
2

Right, that's the dilemma. Rational, compassionate people don't want to take away women's rights. So it seems we have to accept that women's choices and actions have evolved to fit a new reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:27 PM
1

Well, you're using it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:22 PM
3

Embedded in here is the reality that societal expectations play a massive role in shaping our dating choices. All of us are in effect "assigned" a range of normative partners based on our socio-economic status, race, body type, height, etc. Deviating too far from that range as a couple is likely to make public life uncomfortable for both - I've experienced this personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:21 PM
2

the not being able to get sex part
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:11 PM
1

Yes, and most people who watch porn probably don't want that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:10 PM
1

Jealousy is an emotion that can arise from a feeling of perceived unfairness. If everyone was simply posting academic arguments about inequality rather than emotion-driven responses I could buy that it was strictly a principled opposition.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:16 PM
1

Whether you enjoy child labor or not, it is happening and you are using a product of it (if you use a smartphone).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:12 PM
2

I don't think most people "enjoy" that aspect of porn (I'm sure some do). Porn demand does contribute to exploitation, but so does recreational drug use, iphone demand, and a huge chunk of the entire global economy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:33 PM
0

No offense, but I don't think this represents the average woman lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:25 PM
1

I doubt that
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:05 PM
1

Even so..
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:04 PM
0

So it might be that in a pre-shackle society women were incentivized to act a certain way that either purposefully or incidentally fostered the energy you speak of. The dilemma (from the perspective of someone who preferred the way it used to be) being that we can't go back without re-shackling women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 05:18 PM
2

And saying thay those men's perspectives are all based on real experience and not the general cukture of sexism that most societies You seem to think I'm defending or justifying their stance. I'm just an interested observer. I don't seek out these perspectives or look for these forums. I like to read about dating discussions in general and the growing number of these perspectives is something I've witnessed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 05:12 PM
0

OK, so in your opinion something about female energy changed, but the male desire for female energy remained static. What in your mind would cause this to happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 05:00 PM
1

PPD is ostensibly neutral territory for all perspectives. I don't see how it caters to one perspective more than the other. I've definitely seen similar male perspectives on larger subs like r/dating too. If you're saying rhe dudes who do get laid hate women and the dudes who don't get laid Hate women, the issue is obviously the fucking men lol It's not that black and white. The point is that if you see certain perspectives continually pop up in general discussions about dating, it's reasonable …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:49 PM
1

I commented elsewhere that I thought it was interesting that nobody was calling me out on the female perspective. So either I was right or women just weren't as quick to complain. Anecdotally I've had women tell me they want a partner that makes their friends jealous, so take that fwiw. I do think women do a better job of disguising their discontent.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:45 PM
1

It does seem to be that generally women handle rejection much better than men for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:31 PM
0

Feeling like rejection is the bread and butter of your interactions with women is abnormal imo
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:30 PM
2

Everything is obvious to somebody.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:28 PM
2

I think this is a relevant point - there's a perception of what people deserve in a partner, which is based on some internalized calculus of one's innate desirability and the amount of work they've put into themselves and dating in general. But the dating market isn't very meritocratic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:27 PM
2

If we've learned anything from the current downward spiral of public discourse, it's that people will latch onto any narrative or conspiracy theory, no matter how disconnected from reality, if it elicits a desirable emotional response.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:25 PM
1

Probably both
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:18 PM
2

That's pretty sad man
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:17 PM
0

I don't really understand your argument. You're basically saying that people will adapt evolving options in soft drinks but not in women?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:17 PM
1

Curious what you mean by that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:14 PM
2

Yes, technically it's called an insight.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:13 PM
1

They don't represent all men, but they do comprise a segment of men, and I've pointed out that they exist in other forums as well. On this forum, which is in no way catered toward their views, their voices are pretty prominent.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:19 AM
3

There is a segment of the male population that is utterly unable to engage in any sort of romantic relationship whatsoever. Well I agree that this segment exists but I would estimate it to be pretty small, esp in comparison to the next level up, which would be men who have limited outlets for romantic engagement with which they are highly dissatisfied.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:16 AM
7

Society has become safe, civil and technologically advanced enough that men are no longer needed right now. I wouldn't take this to the bank just yet lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:09 AM
5

Incels and red pillers aren't males? Weird how all the groups with body building aren't centered around hating women and supporting "traditional gender roles". There's plenty of that on bodybuilding forums actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:08 AM
1

Sure, if that makes you feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:05 AM
2

The reason I feel comfortable making the assumption is because there's enough evidence of the same thing happening elsewhere to believe it's part of human nature. Humans instinctively measure their circumstances comparatively. The average min wage earner today lives like royalty compared to low wage workers in the 19th century, but that doesn't stop people from complaining, because they're aware that a higher standard exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:03 AM
0

The simple fact of the matter is that the dating life for men below a quite high cutoff point is objectively poor quality How do you define it as "objectively poor quality"? It's just the reality of the dating market, and we wouldn't know any better if we didn't know that a certain segment of men had it much, much easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:57 AM
1

OK, would it make you feel better if I said intimacy instead of sex then? I will say it's interesting how many men have taken offense to what I said but nobody's complained about my assertion re: women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:30 AM
2

This is pretty much nonsense but the little sense I can make of it is pretty dark.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:26 AM
-1

Well I'm making a general observation that may not apply to you. It seems like your discontent is more directed toward women gatekeeping intimacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:35 PM
1

I do see this theme over and over that it's "unfair" that Chad gets his and they're left out, or "why should I get his leftovers." I think part of this is that a lot of men are just naturally entitled plus the participation trophy generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:32 PM
2

If you're able to attract women naturally it makes sense that you'd want to just be as authentic as possible. Those who aren't able to do that have to choose between being authentic and undesirable and being inauthentic and potentially desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:25 PM
7

You could consider this entire subreddit a case study.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:23 PM
2

He's hard to pin down
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:23 PM
0

Anyone dealing with the level of rejection you're describing probably needs to change the way they are meeting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:00 PM
1

I would agree the jealousy may not be directed primarily toward the men themselves, and possibly more just toward the fact that this is happening and they aren't a part of it. The crux of it is they see that it's happening they're unhappy they're not a part of it, and that there's little they can do about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:45 PM
17

You say it's presumptuous for me to speak for men and then you go on to do the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:41 PM
1

lolol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:44 PM
2

Given that I'm not a public figure, rarely have sex with strangers, and generally steer clear of crazy people, it's a risk I would probably rank below getting hit by lightning.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:41 PM
2

What does that have to do anything? Men commit more crime against women than vice versa. Do you disagree with that obvious fact?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:37 PM
2

Expending time and effort for something that has a 0.000000001% chance of happening to me is pretty irresponsible too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:34 PM
3

If we're going down the road of crimes committed against women by men vs vice versa, that's not gonna be a point for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:30 PM
1

What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:26 PM
2

Is that a threat?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:35 PM
4

I don't doubt that it happens, just saying that it's never even come up as a concern for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 06:57 PM
2

If a beautiful woman with a generally repellent personality woke up one day and wanted to become more warm, approachable & agreeable, instead of being cold & dismissive that’ll be the day she reaches her peak in attractiveness, that’ll be the day she’ll become a juggernaut, so it’s all in her hands This is contradictory to your statement that a more beautiful woman always wins. If it's true that a woman can improve her attractiveness by working on her personality, then it must be true that a les…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:53 PM
37

Lol I've never once worried about the idea that a random woman's going to start lobbing false rape accusations at me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:42 PM
3

From "PPD tells me unattractive men won’t treat their girlfriends as bad as the attractive men they choose." to "How you look and your dating success has nothing to do with your character and how you’ll treat your partner in a relationship." to "The worse your partner tends to look the more entitled they feel to you and try to drag you down so you don't leave them."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:28 PM
0

How many strawmen can you pack into one statement LOL. I'm not making an argument about who's more aggrieved in a relationship, so not sure why you went off on that tangent. The original topic was about "settling" for someone. I made the point that both women are willing to make tradeoffs in choosing a partner, and that generally speaking the tradeoffs are informed by what men and women value, respectively.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:17 PM
0

How does that contradict women divorcing their husbands? Often by then they've raised their children already and are financially stable, thus satisfying their need for security during their more vulnerable years.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:14 AM
4

There are also many who don't. You see them in subreddits like this, climbing onto their soap boxes and raving about the unfairness of it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:08 AM
7

explain
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 01:03 AM
6

OP said she's a virgin
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 12:39 AM
11

A big problem for society is that many average men/women don't want each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 12:34 AM
3

Generally speaking, women value the security of a long-term relationship more than men, and will often "choose" a partner who can provide that, perhaps at the expense of overall attractiveness. Men, being generally less risk-averse than women, are more willing to trade attractiveness for long-term security. Both men and women would ideally prefer to have it both ways - the benefits of monogamy plus the freedom to date, but both make tradeoffs to accommodate social norms. Women are just usually w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 12:32 AM
2

Honestly, I'd just give up completely on dating in a traditional sense. Do what makes you happy, cultivate friendship and family bonds, and think of any romantic prospects as a bonus, but not a requisite to happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:57 PM
7

It speaks to how invisible ugly women are in our society that people are making statements like this. No, you don't have to be obese or deformed to be undesirable as a women. Chances are you see dozens of undesirable women every day and they never even register to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:55 PM
1

Meaning it was far more common for boomer men with a degree to marry women without. Now, not so much. I would also consider that there were just fewer people with college degrees back then, especially women. Now with a larger overall pool it's statistically consistent you'd see more in-group pairings. But I'm not arguing against the fact that we're becoming more class-driven - I think with greater inequality and polarity of opinions in society we'll probably see these trends continue. What the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:53 PM
1

Face is just a better initial screen because it tells you so much more information rather than just a straight measurement. A woman can easily rank a group of faces from 1-100, whereas for height she's more likely to just apply a pass/fail standard. The better comp is face vs body.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 11:11 PM
3

The narratives here are definitely skewed toward certain demographics.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 08:34 PM
1

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-gender-gap-in-marriages-between-college-educated-partners Here's where I got the stat. I was a bit lazy with the description, specifically it stated that 30% of people with a bachelor's degree were married to a spouse without one, and 15% of those without a bachelor's degree were married to a spouse with one.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 08:28 PM
1

Jay-Z?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 08:22 PM
1

I've done chadfish experiments with very goood looking men with short heights and tall heights. The difference in getting matches was pretty minimal. LOL. It may not matter much for getting matches, but it definitely matters once you're actually in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 08:22 PM
3

Because attraction grows from people being together in close quarters, traveling places together, and pursuing the same goal together.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 05:57 AM
2

Sure, this is assuming you are still getting something useful out of the education itself and the potential to meet someone is a big potential bonus. I knew one woman who came to our program from a different country who made it quickly obvious from her behavior she was using the opportunity to snag a rich husband. It did not go well for her, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:13 AM
1

I would disagree that it's uncommon enough to be deemed insignificant - just looking at one study indicates 30% of marriages are between a spouse with a bachelor's degree and one without one. Yes the first choice is usually going to be marrying within one's class, but outside of like actual caste systems you have plenty of people marry "up" or "down". And looks can absolutely trump other factors. These are men we're talking about. Based on my experience, the most desirable men within any given g…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 11:48 PM
2

It didn't apply to me as much (I was in a LTR during my time in the program), I was just sharing what I observed during my time there. I see now how I worded it at the end made it seem like it had personally benefited me - I was just said it was male-heavy to explain why the women had a higher success rate than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 11:03 PM
4

Well being good looking doesn't meant you're good at sex. I think it comes down to how we define the "best sex ever." If we're defining it in terms of like athletic performance, it's probably really fit and well-matched people having the best sex ever. If it's just pure enjoyment from both individuals, it's probably people who don't have much luck in dating in general, but when they do find each other the sex is like a euphoric release.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:08 PM
1

Actually, I'm short.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:03 PM
2

Was this one course at a university? Undergrad? I'd say this works best for a grad program with a few hundred students max. The more distinct the group is from the general population the better. Like if you're taking trips together, living in the same places, doing very specialized tasks together, that type of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:01 PM
1

Tall women are attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:54 PM
3

I'm a guy actually lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:42 PM
1

Agree with pretty much all of this. If you want to date/marry people certain types of people, it doesn't take a genius to know you should try and spend as much time as possible around those people and learn how they think. People erroneously conflate men marrying outside their class to with the idea that a woman's education/career don't matter. Imo it's more accurate to say that if a woman is attractive enough, a man will overlook a lack of education or difference in class, which is much differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:41 PM
2

I'd still prioritize pregnant women or those with small children, otherwise I think we could probably consider us equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:43 PM
1

To be clear they'd need to be pretty robust, probably similar to how we regulate utilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:33 PM
1

I read what you said and didn't find anything refuting the idea that the burden of unwanted pregnancies falls much more heavily on women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:00 PM
1

Lol are you seriously arguing that pregnancy risk is the same for men and women? When was the last time a man got raped and impregnated?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:10 PM
1

Well I gave you a real life example of one and it didn't work. People are always going to choose the flashier, trendier option if its available.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:03 PM
0

Last I checked women in the west menstruate and get old. That's enough for me right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:10 AM
2

Regardless of whether you think it's their right or not, the fact remains that women can have unwanted pregnancies. So if that was literally the only difference between men and women, then it's better to be a man than a woman in a country where you have limited options for dealing with unwanted pregnancies.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:41 AM
3

Well I think as a man I'm close to average. Below avg height, above average analytical skills - looks I'm generally regarded as above average but I'm also Asian in a country where most girls don't date Asians. I don't know many women in my life I'd want to trade lives with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:28 AM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:25 AM
6

The only situation I can think of is if it was a country with mandatory military service for men but not women, and there's a significant chance of war in the near future.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 10:26 PM
1

before I even get out the sentence "you dropped your phone" she schreeches at me "I have a boyfriend you ugly fuck" 🤣 I'm sure this happened lmaooo Idk, all the stuff you mentioned I see all the time from dudes as well. In my experience, both male and female strangers are nice - maybe fake nice, but nice nonetheless.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 10:21 PM
9

Having even an inkling of the shit women go through/put themselves through, I'll take being a man any day. Heck, I could make an argument that being a moderately attractive woman is better than a ''CHAD'' The idea that being an average woman is better than being a Chad is just plain ridiculous lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 10:17 PM
5

Where do people live that are filled with hordes of rude women?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 10:09 PM
2

Curious, in what context are women rude to you? Are you talking about like complete strangers?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 10:06 PM
1

Approaching girls who act oblivious to them wouldn't be a great strategy for most guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 10:04 PM
5

I think for a man the feeling of being invisible can be quite profound in online dating. The experience of not being acknowledged or have any outlet for even communicating with hundreds or thousands of women being presented to you can be pretty alienating. IRL I've rarely felt completely invisible - as you said there's usually some background noise of polite interaction - but there's definitely occasions where I'll feel "forgotten", like the feeling that everyone around only registers your prese…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 10:02 PM
2

When I lived in Singapore they actually had a government-run dating registry, ostensibly to help with social cohesion and birthrate. But something like that is only going to work if people don't have other options, or if all options are heavily regulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:37 PM
1

I assume you mean demonetization?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:34 PM
1

Interesting. That's new to me, but it makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 06:45 PM
2

That's a little surprising, as I would have guessed that there are a lot of guys who would jump at the chance to date without commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 06:32 PM
3

The only way I could see us moving away from a profit-first model would be if there were some regulatory constraints on what dating apps are allowed to do. Given free rein, the instant gratification apps will always win
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 06:29 PM
1

People are getting verified and then change all their pictures. If this is happening enough, they could just make you verify every new picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 06:20 PM
9

The virgin bride: aka the young devoutly religious girl who withholds sexual contact I'm assuming this is probably the most appealing of the 3 options to most. And if a guy is willing to wait, I don't see how this is a terrible option. She's still probably less slutty than most girls, if that matters to you. If she's willing to give it up, she's probably willing to give it up to other guys too. If she's not, then she's dramatically reducing her pool of men which is a huge advantage for whoever's…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 12:54 AM
7

I'm pretty sure this strategy would actually work for the LDS Church. I was at a college weekend recruiting event once and the girls from BYU were probably the hottest of any school represented. Then come Sunday morning they all got up early to walk to church in the freezing cold. It gave me a lot of respect for Mormons tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 12:43 AM
7

Taking your own experience as representative of a larger group is always going to lead to potential misjudgements. Based on my experience up until age 25 I would have said dating is way harder for men. 10 years later my opinion flipped completely. Women's dating prospects peak early and spectacularly, so depending on what time frame you're comparing you're liable to get a very skewed opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 09:51 PM
11

It's a myopic narrative trumpeted loudest by those who probably have the least understanding about what it's like to be a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 07:38 PM
31

Yet apparently this is what I have to accept. How so? There are still plenty of women who aren't into that lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 07:24 PM
9

Now I don't know what kind of psychological paradigm shift needs to happen One way would be to shift toward a matriarchal/matrilineal society in which women assume much of the leadership and much less of the child-bearing responsibilities. See the Mosuo women as an example.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 07:13 PM
1

It's not that hard to build chemistry. Once you get her in that nice house it's easier than you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 07:08 PM
1

Well OP even admitted it doesn't work for him, so it's not gonna work for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 06:22 PM
0

It's not that asking for sex is disrespectful necessarily. It's that you may actually get much more mileage out of showing interest independent of sexual desire and thus distinguishing yourself from the hordes of thirsty masses out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 06:21 PM
1

I don't think it's as simple as you're making it out to be. But I think there's some truth to the idea that actually taking the time to connect with someone on a human level is weirdly a good way to distinguish yourself these days. Maybe it's because the general level of discourse is so low, or everyone's just weary of ephemeral connections these days. But it does feel like people are craving even a modicum of genuine interest and empathy. I would also caveat that there are still a LOT of other …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 06:18 PM
2

I feel like the older we get, the more we're able to cultivate higher-order pleasures that can sustain us, if not replace the need for sex altogether (haven't gotten close to the point yet). Hope your recovery goes well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 05:58 PM
2

Yeah I have a low tolerance for being with people just for the sake of getting them into bed. I guess for people who are naturally very social and enjoying being around people all the time maybe it's easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 05:53 PM
2

I'm a guy lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 05:45 PM
1

No love for Chinese dudes? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 05:45 PM
1

No man wants to be wanted because he’s safe and has money. He wants to be desired sexually. Then find a girl you have or can build chemistry with. Sexual chemistry is about much more than looks, especially for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 05:43 PM
2

60% success rate means you hook up with 60% of the people you match with?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 05:36 PM
0

Same with money.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:57 PM
-1

A poor guy has to "make up the difference" with good looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:45 PM
1

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:16 PM
2

LMAO
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:10 PM
0

Then he's not below her standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 10:32 PM
5

I'd buy that the correlation is <1, but it's definitely >0.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 10:05 PM
1

"Settling" would imply dating someone below your standards. Not the same as standards evolving with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 09:52 PM
3

Genuine human connection will always be the goal, but at the same time I think we've always "graded" people as a society. Probably when electricity was discovered, men were complaining that it was too easy to see each other in the dark and that would spell doom for ugly men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 09:37 PM
5

It sounds like you had certain deal-breakers but were open-minded about other preferences. Glad it's worked out for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:49 PM
4

I'm sympathetic. At best those who criticize women for changing standards are young guys bitter about not being able to date the women they want, at worst they want to control and exploit women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:35 PM
7

They say thicc thighs save lives
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:25 PM
2

From what I've seen men with a foreign preference don't have an interest in leaving the US or adapting to new cultures on average. They typically want to take the woman to US. Fair enough, you're probably right. I don't think there's anything wrong with that per se, as long as they're honest about their intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:12 PM
13

I personally have no issue with women changing their standards. There's a group that probably will just complain about anything women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 05:57 PM
2

I find it odd that men who have a preference for foreign women seem to have an extreme denial that they could be or would be used for the standard of living that they can provide. This is just one subset of men. My last serious gf was from a country with a standard of living superior to the US in many ways - one of the things that doomed us was that she really didn't want to move here. Nowadays it could be a win-win for the guy. You can meet a woman who shares your interest in exploring a differ…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 05:55 PM
3

Classic American mentality
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 05:44 PM
6

Better looking women, and also more well-rounded overall imo. The persistent anti-intellectualism in this country hits the dating market especially hard I think - people's preferences and worldviews are easily shaped and homogenized by mass media, which is in itself catered toward dumb people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 05:37 PM
2

Yeah preferences might be a better way to put it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 05:27 PM
2

Well I'm saying the minimum threshold is probably higher because we're exposed to images that artificially inflate what we perceive as average.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 05:25 PM
1

People's idea of average is probably much more skewed these days because of how much media we consume that's been filtered for above-average looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 04:54 PM
0

95% sounds a little unbelievable. I'm also skeptical that couples with a 1 yr age gap have only a 3% chance of divorce - personally I know multiple people in this category who've split.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 11:43 PM
2

The best dating years can vary quite a bit between men. The right time to settle down might be 25 for some, or 40 for others. If you're a dude who peaks young and doesn't have great earning prospects, I think it makes sense to lock down a relationship while you're still in your physical prime. But if you're a late bloomer with a good career path, you'll probably regret not playing the field more if you wife up the first girl who's interested in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 10:10 PM
2

The way I see it, we make do with what we have in life. Some of us are gifted with status from birth in the form of wealth, looks, or talent. Those of us who aren't have to work to move up the "ladder", so to speak. But we find a lane that suits us and just go for it. I figured pretty early on if I tried to compete on looks and charisma alone, it'd just be a forever struggle, no matter how much I worked on it. But I knew I was smarter and more analytical than most people, so I chose paths where …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 09:43 PM
1

Tell us the point then o wise one
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:58 PM
1

That sounds low status to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:49 PM
2

That's why I would tell guys who struggle with dating in their younger years to spend their 20s investing in their career and spend minimal effort on dating (but still invest in relationships). I wish I knew how much easier dating would be after 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:49 PM
1

it's not the status the women are attracted to. It's all of the above. And all things equal, it's better to have status.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:46 PM
1

You claim to know much more about women than us (nice power move btw) but you just list a bunch of traits that anyone would agree are positive attributes and are in no way mutually exclusive from being a high status individual. If you actually have all of those things in spades, you're probably going to be successful in some area of life outside dating. So what you're actually recommending is just another path toward high status.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:45 PM
3

We've just leveled up. Status inequality is much wider than it might be in small groups, thanks to the size and sophistication of our human organizations.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:29 PM
3

It’s easier to hire out jobs husbands usually did at home. I think this may have been true at some point, but nowadays you can pretty much order any service or product under the sun. If it's just about doing basic housekeeping I think all but the laziest men will just do it on their own. For sure in my generation (millennial) a lot of us are pretty accustomed to living on our own. We're probably much more domestic and less about "tinkering" than older generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:16 PM
3

Yeah people say money is the great equalizer, but really money is just a great indicator of status.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:06 PM
2

I think you can still feel good about yourself while recognizing that you have room for improvement
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:05 PM
5

I wonder if that is because their unique lifestyle and working hours breed more affinity, but fair point nonetheless
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:59 PM
3

Well we are a species of primate, and primates are pretty hierarchical
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:58 PM
2

If you're able to get with some women you have some status.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:05 PM
2

Being a doctor isn't necessarily going to help you date female doctors. But it would definitely help if you want to date female bookkeepers, waitresses, construction workers, etc. I guess I can't speak for everywhere, but I live in the US where a lot of people don't have have health insurance. High earning power and titles still have cachet, imo
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:02 PM
3

I have a pretty broad definition of status. A person's physical attributes (including height, race, and "masculinity") confer status - and I would argue these are pretty potent indicators. The problem is that they are harder to change, and maybe that's why they're so potent. But my point is we can all do things to change our relative status. You don't have to be a rockstar to attract women. Bankers, Youtube personalities, and professors can gain status sufficient in itself to produce plenty of d…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:57 PM
1

The reality is that people change, and there's not necessarily anything you can do about it. A man who suddenly comes into major success is likely going to be a different person than when he was a nobody. It doesn't mean he's justified in abandoning his spouse and family. It's just the fact that the dynamics of what made the relationships work before may no longer apply. There are people who value loyalty and the time and energy their partner invested while they were working their way up. But ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:43 PM
1

LOL "hobosexuals"😂 If I'm understanding correctly it seems like you're saying women are generally better off financially and socially post-divorce, and therefore have more to lose from remarrying. I can understand that - you've worked your whole life to set yourself up, and you don't want to risk losing it. But even though you may have more to lose in terms of assets in a 2nd/3rd marriage, there's still a tremendous opportunity cost I think we have to factor in for the 1st marriage - while you m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:16 PM
3

LOL. I tell it like it is, what can I say.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 01:04 AM
2

Agree to disagree on that then.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:11 AM
1

I think if we get to the point where men are no longer needed for breeding or performing dangerous work, we'll probably be sufficiently advanced technologically where we'd just reconstruct the human genome the way we want to. Whether or not we'll even distinguish between men and women at that point is a fair question.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:11 AM
2

Lucky you lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:07 AM
1

The question was whether your spouse is obligated to take care of you. Are you saying the answer to that is no?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:05 AM
5

How about sports then? Male athletes represent the peak of human physical performance and are celebrated pretty universally for their abilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:04 AM
2

Yeah and eventually even the right-tailed men may be replaced by AI. I do think there may be a reckoning at some point, and maybe we'll collectively decide on a mechanism to deal with excess men. I could see at some point in the far future if we're starting colonize other worlds, men would be drafted to do much of the dangerous work of making them habitable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:00 AM
2

And your husband will. Sorry to break it to you lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:48 PM
2

You will.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:47 PM
1

So what you're saying is that because your marriage is more likely to fail, that absolves you from the responsibility of taking care of your spouse while you're with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:47 PM
6

Women are "better" in that they bear a far greater burden in reproduction. Men are better suited for hard physical labor. That's really all I can say that's clear-cut. You can say the men and women are generally wired differently and tend to have different capacities for emotional intelligence, logical reasoning, etc., but that gets into murkier territory imo
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:45 PM
3

Every married couple is composed of two people who fantasize about other people during sex lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:34 PM
1

So your position is that you're obligated to take care of your first spouse but not your second or third one?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:34 PM
6

I don't think there's any getting around the fact that there are probably more men than we need for a functional society to run. Would war and violence decrease dramatically if men were to disappear and women reproduced using lab-made female embryos? Probably. There have been studies done that societies with too many men are inherently more unstable than societies with too many women. The ironic thing is that if we dramatically reduced the # of men, it's the remaining men who would benefit since…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:33 PM
1

A spouse isn't family?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:14 PM
1

Somebody's got to, dammit!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 11:12 PM
2

😟
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 10:59 PM
2

I'm speaking independently of my own experience about the overall picture. Money is a huge, huge factor Basically any man with money has tons of options in the dating market. They may be invisible to you, but they definitely won't be to everyone. There's also the fact that a young woman can start a family with an older man far more easily than an old woman can with a young man. That's part of why old dudes have been getting with younger women for all of human history in basically every society, …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 10:58 PM
4

Good to know lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 10:50 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 10:50 PM
15

I just found this community recently and I'm enjoying it more than I probably should. It's basically Women vs Men battle royale lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 10:12 PM
1

I'm not sure that's the most compelling evidence that men have more trouble with friendships than women. But I'll grant you that possibility and the possibility that older women rely more on their friends and older men rely more on their spouses, given that's it's easier for older men to get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 10:09 PM
0

Not to the same extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 10:02 PM
2

Men have families and friends too? But my point is that it's always better to have someone close to you. Family and friends are great, but they're not going to be there 24/7. If that was all we needed nursing homes wouldn't be such a big industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 09:52 PM
1

Sure, but comparatively speaking old women are more expendable to young men than old men are to young women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 09:48 PM
1

It's interesting when you consider older men are more expendable to older women but more valuable to younger women, but it's basically vice versa for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:23 PM
1

Maybe up to a certain point, but I know I'd be worried about getting old alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:20 PM
1

Why is it especially the case for 2nd or 3rd marriage? I would think the risk/reward ratio levels out by then, as most people invest their time and youth in raising kids with their first partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:19 PM
3

Agree that if a woman is financially independent there's less incentive to take on the burden of cleaning up after someone. For men, providing financial security for less financially secure woman in exchange for domestic help/sex can be a good deal for both, but I guess women don't usually have that option.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:16 PM
1

But once you get old both men and women are potentially caregivers. Having someone to look after you when you have health issues has to be one of the best benefits of having a partner in old age.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:13 PM
2

#1 is probably valid. As for #2, I feel like the stigma applies to both men and women. It's just that there are a lot of younger women willing to be with older men compared to vice versa, for better or worse. So you have what appears to be men choosing younger women over divorced/widowed women, whereas older women either can't or don't want to be with younger man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:07 PM
1

More men get remarried because they have options and it makes sense for them. Older men and younger women go together well for a variety of reasons. I think there are still a lot of divorced/widowed women who want to remarry - after all most people fear the prospect of dying alone. It's just harder for women to find a suitable partner and situation once they're older.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 08:03 PM
0

It's from Jurassic Park lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 12:36 AM
-2

Men don't want to be fed, they want to hunt.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 11:40 PM
2

I am implying men have a harder time with both dating seriously for a relationship and for obtaining casual sex. But for every woman getting into a relationship there's a man on the other side. And I think what often gets overlooked is that men have leverage in relationships simply based on the fact that time is generally friendlier to us.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 10:44 PM
1

I agree with your premise overall, but I also think believe that the dating market is just not going to be the same for someone with your physical attributes vs someone with mine (5'8, male, Asian). From my experience it's highly likely you'll have access to different subsets of society from which to pick dating partners. I don't know if that makes it decidedly better for you. I think women generally want to be with partners who are equal in "status" (which is generally defined by societal norms…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 07:02 PM
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