~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 648 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their Children | General | ABBucsfan | /r/MensRights | 24/05/23 09:28 PM |
| 312 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise? | False Accusation | ABBucsfan | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 05:30 PM |
| 19 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienation | ABBucsfan | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 03:49 AM | |
| 14 | Ex wife still trying to control my time and wallet | ABBucsfan | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/22 03:19 PM | |
| 7 | Blatant lack of sympathy, parental rights, and misandry in parenting sub | Discrimination | ABBucsfan | /r/MensRights | 26/07/22 06:38 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | Was I in an abusive relationship?Yes that's definitely abuse. Definitely verbal and emotional abuse and already crossing physical boundaries that will ontk escalate of she thinks she can. Sounds like possible bpd or something. They have zero accountability and will blame you for their cheating and impulsive behavior. Crazy tempers and lack of regulation. Don't get caught in the craziness. Document anything, definitely she needs counselling and it's likely not going to end well even with couples counselling but I don't know your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 06:31 PM |
| 1 | How long after divorce you felt like you are yourself again?In some ways I was quickly more myself than I ever was during most of my marriage. Almost forgot who I was for a while. On the other hand in some ways I may never be the same. For the most part I suffered enough and grieved it enough during the last couple years of the marriage that it was a relief.. but stuff like having anxiety and struggling with basic decisions, being overwhelmed with simple stuff at work... Was maybe like a year and a half or something after I moved out | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/26 12:42 AM |
| 4 | Dealing with family members continually contacting my exDefinitely sounds like she could be bpd. Yeah I spent years taking the blame for everything as well until finally realizing she never took any and had a very strange version of reality and extreme reactions to things. Started learning about cluster b personality disorders as if wasn't well known at the time. A lot more awareness about it in recent years Definitely have to question the characters of people that have no qualms about cheaters and invite them while being upset at the victim not bein… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/26 03:45 PM |
| 3 | Dealing with family members continually contacting my exYou're probably right. Just terrible his brother actually believed any of it and didn't even talk to op about any of it. Maybe he's just insulted his brother wasn't coming and couldn't put his feelings aside to make it, but at least a hey... I was going to invite them and hope it's not going to be too awkward I still remember an old bud I had less and less contact with called me when the divorce was happening. He's like man I heard what's going on and just want to say im sorry.. what happened? A… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/26 03:02 PM |
| 1 | Never deleting your textsNo need to lower my hours, it's more that I didn't want my ex to have endless excuses to stay underemployed especially as they kids are becoming more independent | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/26 01:01 PM |
| 4 | How long did your divorce take?Depends..we kinda started just before COVID. Fired the lump sum mediator (big mistake hiring someone that wasn't a lawyer with the high conflict and someone motivated to wrap it up quick). Started talking to lawyers and then had to shelve for COVID. Think she also fired her first lawyer before we met. After covid she went through another lawyer then we met for mediation after a few months for financial stuff after gathering it all. That was fairly easy. It was custody and section 7 (extra curric… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 06:07 PM |
| 3 | Never deleting your textsIt's obvious to the mediator and all the lawyers involved my ex chose not to work. My lawyer even said it's obvious she decided to retire at 33. It didn't really matter. We basically just decided to inpute minimum wage full time And miraculously sent a job offer from whr boyfriend the night before our meeting that she is making the same for half the hours so we said good enough. She even got pissed at my lawyer for questioning her about her job duties. Threw a fit about how it's not a fake job e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 05:31 PM |
| 1 | Why It Still Hurts Even After 5 YearsYeah definitely feel like hanging out and being friendly with op was sort of a form of denial. Sort of feels like op hasn't properly processed what happened and ex still pulls the heart strings too much. Noticed he says he doesn't like being close with someone who's friends with the one who betrayed him. Erm... He's hanging out with the one who did the ultimate betrayal..at some point the rose colored glasses need to come off. No idea why you'd even want to trust or be vulnerable someone like th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 02:20 PM |
| – | I think I’m done boysHow was she able to do that? Did you agree to let her? That's abduction with no parenting agreement. There is no good reason either parent should be moving away from the kids hometown. If they do it's without the kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 03:54 AM |
| 3 | I think I’m done boysIt's easy to focus on what you've lost.. by the end (kids and all) I was left with the impression my ex never did love me to begin with (don't think any woman ever has) and I met her at 23. End of the day you and I are basically still in the same position still. It sucks now but it will get better. You can rebuild, your kids still need a responsible father who can speak into their life and have a relationship with them. You're not free to do whatever you wanted to but couldn't before | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 09:05 PM |
| 6 | The "I checked out a long time ago" excuseI guess that's one thing I can't complain about. It was obvious years before we parted. No if she had a problem with me she let me know. I was never good though. My complaint is shr was on her best behavior for a period of time until we had keys and then dropped the act immediately (not ppd because it was true second she found out she was pregnant with the last one) | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 09:45 PM |
| 0 | Mediation vs lawyer — what actually worked better for you?In Canada at least mediation often involves lawyers (mediator is a lawyer and usually each have one). Sometimes it's arbitration if mediation doesn't work with swne people but mediator is the judge. Its hard to even get a court date here and they want to see you tried mediation. We did originally try one of those lump sum mediators that are supposed to do it all for both and not even a lawyer. Was a waste of time. Just wanted to wrap it up asap and lean on the most reasonable person to give I'm … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 03:18 PM |
| 1 | If you started divorce with a mediator and switched to a lawyer- what was the final straw, and did you regret it?I did mediation with a lawyer and we each had our own lawyers. We did start with one person who wasn't even a lawyer though. One of those divorce easy things that was a lunp sum. Big mistake. Think she hand picked her a d maybe even had some kind of deal. Later looked and another guy had similar comments in review. Part of the problem with lump sum is it's in their interests to wrap up as quick as possible by leaning on the most reasonable person. I hit my breaking point when she was basically l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/26 04:17 PM |
| 1 | What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife?Yeah I find people have all kinds of mental gymnastics with these things. If it's hard to just accept at face value and cause you to have to make personal sacrifices then there must be an alternative explanation. I've noticed in one of the Mathew accounts Jesus actually says when the guy flippantly sends his wife away he causes her to commit adultery when she remarries and the third party she marries also does. We always try to explain it away in terms of who is to blame or not which isn't actua… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 06:27 PM |
| 1 | What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife?It's crazy how hypocritical people can be man. I would have thought most pastors would know what the Bible says about remarriage (with one exception for porneia which means you'd be in the clear, not her) let alone an actual affair. Yeah my ex still goes to church as well and makes my oldest go (I'd love her to join us but forcing causes resentment imo) and yet her boyfriend stays over. She's gonna have fun telling my oldest you can have sleepovers with boyfriends | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 03:34 PM |
| 4 | What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife?Yeah was same for me. Was slow when we got married so she was like half time then got laid off a year after marriage and always had an excuse not to go back to work. Was when we were going to inputr income that she finally got a job offer from her boyfriend to manage his clinic. Although with rich family gifting her lots of money and me not wanting to profit I agrees to something where she got a lot more than 50/50 so we considered any spousal support paid | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Trying to understand why some divorces feel sudden to one spouseMan this resonates for completely different reasons. I'm the complete opposite of OP. I don't think my ex wife ever truly loved me. The first year or marriage was a disaster and she used the divorce word in the first week during our first fight. Heck she was even like what did we do after our marriage. I stuck to my commitment and after a fairly rocky first year things were starting to feel right. They became a bit more stressful after first kid and I was on the fence about having another. While… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 05:41 PM |
| 5 | How do you guys cope with the idea of losing your hard earned assets during a divorce?Be thankful it's only 3 months. You just need to document what you brought into the marriage. Will be simple with no major marital assets mixing money on mortgage. The damage shouldn't be that much Personally even though it was a few hundred thousand i was more concerned about time with my kids and the lies being told to them. I knew I could rebuild and I could live on a lot less. It was the years of suffering and almost losing my identity of self that was a bigger concern. She was bpd and would… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/26 10:47 PM |
| 2 | I think this was my 1st and last marriageStarted divorce right before COVID hit the nhad to bunker down for like a year then moved out like 5-6 years ago It was pretty rough at the start then thought things were looking up for a while. Got rough after first then started to improve for a bit. Then got pregnant again and all appearances were off. Made it pretty clear I was basically a sperm donor and atm. Entire thing I was always trying to live up to some ideal. Found out she had bpd too. I was never that guy. Just a means to an end. Wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/26 12:55 AM |
| 3 | I think this was my 1st and last marriageNo dating or anything. I'm also one and done. Life was always better flying solo. Although I always believed it was a one time deal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/26 11:32 PM |
| 7 | Just passed……men are screwed again.I agree with most of it, but "letting" them stay home? It can be a point of contention and you can apply pressure, but it's ultimately up to them unless you're willing to divorce over it. I personally had some heated discussions over it myself. In Canada there are also Bs stipulations where you can have them 39% of the time and it's considered full custody for them with zero offset of income. You owe the full amount as if they make $0. After pulling dirty tricks that proved false I had to crawl … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/26 02:58 AM |
| 3 | May I ask what led to your divorce?Yeah... That's real. I remember mine also not doing any of the "homework" that we were supposed to do. They just want the. To "fix" you | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/26 05:09 PM |
| 3 | May I ask what led to your divorce?At some point I kinda hit a breaking point when she essentially wanted me to be her attack dog. Like you need to talk to the manager, you need to step up from us, you need to ask if we can be an exception. Why don't you like to confront people and demand things? At some point I was like I've tried opening my mind to try different things and changing perspective, but do you not realize who you married? Like you're wanting me to change my very nature at some point. This is not how I'm wired and yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 06:28 PM |
| 7 | May I ask what led to your divorce?Yeah that sounds very familiar. Borderline personality disorder and narcissistic pd are both cluster b disorders. Figured out mine had bpd with some bpd traits and it was exactly as you described. It's just sad she manipulated a therapist. I've heard they sometimes weaponize therapy speak. Some therapists refuse to take them on because of how manipulative they can be and lack accountability. And no it doesn't matter what you do, it's never enough. Once you realized that and put your foot down it… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 04:08 PM |
| 10 | May I ask what led to your divorce?My ex just married from the wrong reasons and I missed the signs. Don't think I was ever fully accepted from the get go. I thought her early misgivings were something we got past, but eventually realized it only get better temporarily until she got some of the things she wanted. She basically admitted she wanted kids and felt pressured not to date around anymore and settle down. I was the guy she settled for and resented. Also found out she had bpd and was pretty much never happy with anything. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 04:04 PM |
| 2 | Called the woman from the brewery and went out last nightIt's only been 3 weeks? Wow I'm not surprised to be honest. Take some time for yourself. I think taking a year or more after divorce is pretty normal and healthy. Anything sooner and you might be just looking for a rebound, but everybody is different. I guess you've learned that now though. Just learn to enjoy your own company and make sure you're healed and ready. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/26 08:48 PM |
| 16 | Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredomShe got what she wanted and left. She basically checked out the second she had our last child | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/26 03:40 PM |
| 0 | My ex has a support group, a therapist, and her friends. I have... my dog. Why is this so gendered?Men need to be willing to ask for help, but with all the responsibilities (and more after divorce) it's also just not always possible. I did consider therapy and stuff but just no time tbh. My one night a week where I'm not running from work to take my kids somewhere I often work 11-12 hours because I'm short hours the other days. Sometimes skip dinner so I can go to the gym that night. Work through lunch every day so I can get my hours in. Men are often kinda forced into a corner. My ex didn't … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 06:15 PM |
| 5 | What were the signs you wished you paid more attention to?I wish I knew even a little bit about personality disorders. Maybe I'd have spotted the little signs before it was too late. As another said spending more time with her family as well and paying more attention to upbringing. It really does mean an awful lot | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 02:40 AM |
| 3 | What did getting divorced teach you?I'm a person of faith so kind of off the table for me (she was supposed to be..), but yeah all of their things as well.. It would also mean going up and publicly making vows to forsake all others in sickness and in health etc. to #2 which always seemed funny. But yeah in general kids is one of the main reasons to sacrifice and make risks hoping to build a family with someone who never changes their mind. A lot less incentive when you've got it. You're just hoping you get along with them for the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:51 PM |
| 3 | What did getting divorced teach you?Naive young me would have considered the idea of marrying only for kids to be something you worry about but doesn't actually happen much. It's shocking people marry for reasons other than genuinely caring for the other And yeah it's hard to imagine life without the kids. Ideally would have had them with someone else, but the main silver lining. Between that and some of the unique experiences with in laws overseas it wasn't all for nothing. Just would have liked to have an awesome partner to rais… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:33 PM |
| 15 | What did getting divorced teach you?I learned to value myself more.. actually realizing there are people around who love me just for showing up and being me. Don't jump through hoops to try and earn affection and loyalty.. they're the wrong person. Also don't be the guy she gives a "chance" to after being friendzoned. Bonus points it she only shows interest after you date and break up with someone else | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 05:07 PM |
| 4 | What did getting divorced teach you?Honestly #3 turned out to be the only reason my ex even was with me. She played the long game and dipped the second she was done. So I feel like #3 is the opposite for me. Would have loved to have been with someone who actually cared about more than just making babies..I'm also done with that part..I mean in flying solo for good, bit of I was looking for another they'd have to either not want kids or just be happy being a step mom. Younger women who wanted their own would be ruled out Personally… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 05:03 PM |
| 3 | "Making" her get a job was the best decision I had ever made.Was the same with me except she always had an excuse why she couldn't work. She would literally get the doctor to writt her a note saying she needed care because she had some back issues and get gov to cover some childcare expenses and telling me it's paid for and it's good for ther education to go to preschool (of course I told her it was just socialization). Id ask if kids are there why she can't work.. always some excuse about arranging appointments. I could never go to the gym or do anything… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/26 06:38 PM |
| 2 | Imputed incomeWe never saw a judge. We did mediation/arbitration. Our proposal when we finally crossed the magic 40/60 custody threshold after a few years out was to inpute min wage at 40 hrs (she had a double major in business/marketing). The night before her lawyer suddenly sent a letter that she got a job offer from her boyfriend to manage his clinic 20 hrs a week at double min wage so same amount. Done! Except we inputted that amount immediately (not the following year) and escalated a few thousand every … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/26 12:49 AM |
| 1 | I think divorce reveals how many enemies you haveHers all live overseas. And yeah a lot of them are afraid of her mother, but with the whole cultural emphasis on family they all try to force at least pretending to get along at gatherings | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 05:09 AM |
| 3 | I think divorce reveals how many enemies you haveI was honestly pleasantly surprised. For the most part everyone was like yay she's out of the way and we can catch up again! Suddenly old friends are like yeah we didn't want to say anything but she definitely made us uncomfortable. Naturally her mother thought I was some common uncultured riff raff and likely helped he plan everything leading up to the divorce, but even after it all when her and my family all cut ties on Facebook some of her aunts and uncles still kept me on theirs.. and my kid… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 04:48 AM |
| 3 | The Damage and Destruction of DivorceThere are also the calculating ones who only married for a certain lifestyle and/Or biological clock. They never had those feelings to begin with, settled, resented, played the long game and left when they got the kids/lifestyle. They never had commitment to begin with | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 03:26 PM |
| 2 | Ex wife asking me to watch her kids.Yeah I guess I did misread. My bad. I was reading your don't do divorce worthy things as a here and now instruction. You're just saying don't be mad at her divorcing you if you were to blame. Without knowing the specifics yeah I'd he cheated on her or something she's got every right to divorce him. Other stuff maybe they could have worked on it or whatever but sounds like he's hinting at something like the former Also the more I read some of his comments the more people saying he's doing it out … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 12:11 AM |
| 2 | Ex wife asking me to watch her kids.I responded with a couple comments supporting you, but imo this shouldn't be done out of spite. If you like the boys, have bonded with them, and have the time i think you should reconsider. The last couple comments I read make it sound like she's living in your head rent free. You'd possibly be doing a lot for the boys and making an impact on their lives. If it's the housing situation that would be understandable | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:55 PM |
| 1 | Ex wife asking me to watch her kids.Why would he worry about doing divorce worthy things with someone that's not his wife? Whether or not he wanted the divorce ifs over and he owes her little more than a civil co-parenting arrangement regarding their kid. If he has the time and he doesn't mind the extra company it would be a decent thing to consider it.. but he's def not obligated to. Actually reading further he shares a place with 3 other guys so doesn't seem feasible for anything but very short term at best | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:49 PM |
| 2 | Ex wife asking me to watch her kids.I mean it sounds like she's now had 3 kids with 3 different men. That's not really ops fault. Yeah hopefully someone will show those boys kindness, but op is really under zero obligation to be that person unless he wants to be. At some point the mom needs to figure it out. If op just wants it to be time with his own kid then he's within his rights.. if he wants to be in these kids lives and have them hang out with his own kid that would be awesome and doing her (and then) a huge favour. Of cours… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:43 PM |
| 2 | Would you take her back?Same, id add id worry sleeping under the same roof again that shed try to get me in some legal trouble and/or pull something with the cops on me. I spent so much time trying to manage her craziness and unfortunately even my kids are experiencing some of her wild swings. At some point my oldest could end up with me full time | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/26 02:53 PM |
| 2 | My wife texted me she's leaving and wants a divorceMarriage SHOULD be about a lot more than just 'desire', but unfortunately a lot of women just don't seem to think that way so at the end of the day you're often correct. Hormones come and go, but they often don't get that and if it's not exciting many are gone.. me they allow resentment to just keep building. The alternative is the thinking outside your own immediate needs and some work | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/26 07:31 PM |
| 3 | Most guys don’t lose themselves in divorce because of the legal process...Was the opposite for me..I spent so much time giving and suppressing myself that when she finally left I was happy to do more of my interests and rediscovering stuff as well as friends and family happy to see the old me again and being more available again. Add parenting on top and I have my hands full. More like I found myself again. Had already long accepted the loss of the relationship before | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 07:28 PM |
| 1 | Most guys don’t lose themselves in divorce because of the legal process...Depends where I guess. That's generally how it works in Canada and you bring documentation for anything before marriage and deduct that out first | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 07:26 PM |
| 13 | She downgradedI don't think I ever cared. Even before she found someone I was pitying whoever it ended up being. She wanted to uproot the family but I wasn't really sad to see her go, just sad for the kids and maybe what we had hoped for years easlier. The guy she ended up dating I genuinely didn't mind and was glad he seemed to be decent enough around the kids. At birthdays and concerts I ignored her and made small talk with him. I remember pulling in and seeing him on a ladder (and he's like 50) going into … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/26 07:08 PM |
| 8 | Better as friends than married?As others said it probably won't last. I generally believe if you really respect them and enjoy their company after a divorce and everything then you probably never should have split to begin with and didn't try hard enough especially if kids are involved (usually it's the wife that gives up too easily because it's not as exciting o she suddenly thinks grass could be greener elsewhere). Marriage isn't meant to be easy and physical attraction ebbs and flows and also needs to be kindled. Wouldn't … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/26 02:45 PM |
| 6 | Can’t imagine myself ever being in a relationship againYeah it's been pretty probably 4.5 years since I moved out and we actually started divorce when COVID was hitting then hunkered down. I'm personally done. I mean partially because I don't believe in second marriages, but it also just doesn't seem wise and quite frankly I have no room in my life for a partner tbh. Majority of my time is taken up by my kids and I struggle as it is just to find time to workout and stuff. My free days to myself are wed each week and every other weekend. Relationship… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/26 04:16 PM |
| 3 | What was the point of it all?Hopefully your kids come around. When I first moved out I believe she had coached the oldest to try and make trouble and see if she could get anything she might use against me. At one point said she wanted to spend less time here. Both definitely has been told lies. I tried to generally speak favourably or at least not bad about their mom, but eventually one or two things the kids let slip she said that I had to set the record straight on. Now she occasionally threatens to kick my oldest out and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 08:09 PM |
| 6 | Tips from a Top Divorce LawyerDon't have to worry about repeating mistakes if you check out of the game entirely and just live your best life. Just saying. I guess it's not fkr everyone. Def taking your sweet time before getting back in has got to help | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/25 06:36 PM |
| 2 | Where was your first trip after your divorce ?Was a few hrs flight and a couple hours drive. No particular life lessons on that trip. More just reminiscing. Do notice it's getting to the point that each visit there are less relatives. Def gotta be wise with the time you have with them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/25 03:26 PM |
| 7 | Dating & FWB w/The ExI personally get the impression her dating hasn't gone quite as well. She's still using you for validation and is starting to get jealous she might lose that source of validation. She should have lost it completely when she betrayed you, but you have allowed yourself to be controlled with sex. Happens to a lot of guys. Imo you won't be able to properly move on with anyone else until you properly move on from her. By continuing to hang out and hook up you are delaying the healing that needs to ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/25 09:25 PM |
| 14 | “He’s a good man, but…”100%. It's completely illogical. It's not possible to be "in love" all the time for 40 years..that feeling is entirely hormonal and it's just not possible from a physiological stand point..the human body isn't capable of pumping out those hormones indefinitely at that rate. The whole he's a good man and I love him is where there should be a full stop. No ifs ands or buts. Anything else is something that is a fantasy and they'll never be satisfied. Id that's not good enough and need that constant… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsI think thr only good argument is if you want kids. Being in a committed relationship becomes important for that, although some forego the paperwork. Here it doesn't matter once you've been living together. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 04:42 AM |
| 6 | Infuriated by family court, no fault divorce, and support paymentsChild support is mandatory here and based on tables with offset income. Or did you mean when men stop agreeing to marriage? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/25 12:24 AM |
| 6 | Would you have stayed?She's the one that was always complaining and wanted out, but damn.. I never should have married her to begin with. I tried to make lemonade out of lemons, I always want to believe the best in everyone. and my kids are hard to imagine life without, but yeah I was naive. I didn't really think of marriage the same. I thought with enough patience and understanding you could make it work with anyone, just some harder than others. I realize now you can actually just pick wrong and some people aren't … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/25 05:35 PM |
| 2 | For those with a high conflict/mentally and emotionally abusive ex: What was your experience pursuing therapy for your children?In a similar situation but oddly enough ex picked up on oldest bullying the youngest as quickly as I did and initiated. As much as she is BPD with npd tendencies she thinks everything is wrong with our kids so picked up on it fast. Was concerned because oldest looked like she had some of mine traits and her own mother was ndp so seemed to affect the women in her side.. but therapy has been good for her and seems to be coming around | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 05:31 PM |
| 5 | They* really think it's all about the money... as if a father cannot love his child.Yeah my ex tried claiming I only wanted them shaded custody for money. It's actually projection A lot of the time. Money has always been overly important to her. She's the one that always brought up money and after sh le tried making accusations against me regarding the my kids the psychologist only found out that the thr kids knew too much about what she was having to pay me to keep trh house | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/25 04:46 PM |
| 7 | Pay attention to your mom and dad when they meet the next woman you plan to be with. They likely told you things you didn’t wanna hear last time.This as much as anything. Like wow. Was told how horrible her mom treated her (dad was out of picture, he deceived the mom...), but only met briefly once. Even if it's overseas you need to make that trip before tying the knot. Uncles were pretty chill mostly, but the aunts.. there was like only one that stuck with their man and wasn't a complete handful to deal with.. I was so naive I probably would have said she won't be like that, but major of the time they will end up exactly like that. She v… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/25 04:27 PM |
| 7 | Pay attention to your mom and dad when they meet the next woman you plan to be with. They likely told you things you didn’t wanna hear last time.Definitely some truth to this but will vary. Pretty confident my dad was silent. My mom I absolutely should have asked more details. They were living about 500km away but we visited and made some comment about seeing I really loved her but are you sure she loves you the same way or something. It was more like of course she really wanted to get married. Definitely a mistake not to ask more and why she asked. They both admitted when it was all over that they both had concerns when they first met h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/11/25 04:19 PM |
| 2 | I am torn between filing for divorce and becoming better after my faultAs others said it's not likely you will ever turn this around. As you have a kid I can understand the desire to leave no stone unturned and do the counselling and due diligence to make sure you do what you can to keep the family together. I did and it gave me peace of mind when she didn't cooperate with the counsellors and abruptly ended it. I can tell you if she's already saying that stuff she's likely far past that point and is already actively plotting against you as others said. It's a lot t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 08:13 PM |
| 1 | Household Asset Division: How do you stop a spouse from leveraging items and using “marital funds” to replace things?I guess it really depends on how much you want to nickle and dime. We had a date we declared as separation date and all bank statements were from thwt date for purposes of splitting with an update for current of course. Any major withdrawals or purchases would have been flagged, but neither of us really did any | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/25 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Anyone Done Collaborative Divorce?Yeah I prob spent almost and as you. I know she was well over 100k..her first lawyer I never met. She canned him before that. I think she had another I met once before she swapped to this chinese lady, then fired her after the financial settlement, and stuck with trh last guy who liked playing dumb all the time. Bh the way he questioned or pushed back on things you'd think he had no training. Was stuff the average person knew..also had to either switch med/ARB (we went that route so if meditatio… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Anyone Done Collaborative Divorce?Yeah we originally started that route. Became obvious with the lump sum she just wanted to lean on who she figured would give in the fastest and try to wrap it up. Was so lopsided I consulted lawyers who told me how wrong she was and canned her. I still did mediation but that was an actual lawyer plus out own representation. Apparently it's fairly rare to go to court in Canada and it was during COVID so discouraging it and booking a year out. I saw the application that you had to tick a box sayi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/25 05:00 AM |
| 5 | Married men (especially those who’ve been divorced) — what led to your divorce, and what kind of life partner do you wish you had chosen instead?100%. They were overseas but over the years I realized out of the multiple siblings (exes aunts) the women could not keep a man and were very dominant and demanding types (so much for the Asian stereotype) and the men seemed fairly laid back, although one was keeping multiple GFS until he finally committed to the baby mama. Lots of bickering over money and stuff in that family. It can't be stated enough that knowing the family rn where they came from is important. My ex sweared she would never b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 09:59 PM |
| 1 | Married men (especially those who’ve been divorced) — what led to your divorce, and what kind of life partner do you wish you had chosen instead?Was doomed from the start but was lacking the life experience to realize it. I married an older woman who had to be convinced to give me a chance and only did so after I gave my attention to someone else for a while. Did not realize how far her childhood trauma went and didn't know anything about personality disorders. Marriage was tough from the start but seemed like at times we ha hope. I later realized it was only until she got pregnant or got a bigger place. It was over once she was done wit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/25 04:20 PM |
| 0 | Where any of you able to keep your house?Ah I see. Yeah if she's not even listening to the therapist her heart may just be hardened towards you. Pretty rough when they're not attracted anymore and not a lot of convincing one can do I that regard. Sorry to hear that. I think it's good you at least attempted. Better not to have regrets | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/25 07:00 AM |
| 2 | Where any of you able to keep your house?Yeah I'd recommend at least trying counselling before just throwing in the towel. 20 month old and all. Want to at least exercise other options rather than j tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas. Oh and I haven't communicated any of these issues either and she has her own grievances I didn't realize | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/25 01:41 AM |
| 12 | When She Says She Wants Out, Step Aside and Show Her the Door100% agree. I did what I could, for years I tried living up to that image she had then I said it's never enough, let's do counselling and if you can't even meet me a little bit of the way you do what ya gotta do. Unsurprisingly she didn't, actually didn't like counsellors showing her the mirror. its not that I even necessarily felt like staying myself, but it was the right thing to do, to honour my word and for my kids. When she left my conscience was clear. Id done everything reasonably possibl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/25 09:47 PM |
| 2 | Any of you dads agree to homeschooling?I was gonna say loves herself more. More money for herself and more time with friends while her kids say goodbye to theirs. But yeah spite could be a motivator here too | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/25 01:15 AM |
| 3 | Any of you dads agree to homeschooling?Good grief. Sounds terrible. I'm Wondering why she didn't have to eat an L if she was the one moving away or figure out how to make life work where you both agreed to raise the kids initially. Seems like that's what's best for them. Unless she was gonna be in the streets she's just chasing more money and friends instead of putting their interests first | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/25 09:57 PM |
| 7 | You know what’s worse than divorce?Yeah my ex is BPD with some npd traits (raised by single mother npd). Trying to co-parent was hell for a while.. still get drama from time to time. The divorce? She really thought her life would be unchanged.. that id just keep handing over my pay cheque, she'd keep hanging out in her big house, id occasionally just visit with thr kids. The mediator was like why is she crying in that other room? Did she really think life wasn't gonna change? Then came the false accusations and "panic attack" and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/25 01:51 PM |
| 2 | Where was your first trip after your divorce ?Took my kids across the country (Canada) to visit my parents. Otherwise nothing too exciting. Was saving to get my own place. Prob should take them somewhere now... Time off is pretty limited and don't know how much longer my parents will be around though.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/25 07:51 PM |
| 6 | Did you have sex with your wife after separating?Oh heck no. I did what I could, but when she was determined to go anyways she was dead to me in that regard. Her personality through it all was such a turn off | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/25 01:54 PM |
| 4 | Why the fuck would anyone get married again?Prenup doesn't even cover the hardest part of a divorce..when it comes to custody, kids schedules and activities, extra curricular expenses. The financial split was relatively painless for me. I guess I'd you want a disproportionate split you might need a prenup, but you'd also have to get them to agree to that. If you don't share children it's not even a big deal imo. It's all.the emotional stuff, airing dirty laundry, false accusations etc.thay hurts. Being a shell I'd your former self and lon… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/25 04:36 PM |
| 6 | Wife just took over half the money out of our savings???Id honestly just document it. If she tries to hide it then she will only look bad. In fact it already does. Play the high ground | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/25 09:35 PM |
| 3 | Need some gentle perspective on post-divorce datingSo just don't then. No reason to rush anything. Take a break if it's so draining. You'll have more free time and save money. Instead of focusing on dating maybe focus on a hobby, join a group, maybe eventually you'll just run into someone naturally without all the pressure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/25 02:51 AM |
| 4 | Need some gentle perspective on post-divorce dating2 sounds like a no go. Just not likely to work and you have the sunk cost fallacy going on there. Will only be worse if you wait longer. 1 I'd have some serious questions why she's got full custody. Either she was with a real winner or who wants nothing to do with his kids or she was pretty cut throat or something in the middle | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/25 12:08 AM |
| 3 | My wife is whoring aroundI get it. Mine was years in trb making and wasn't a surprise at some point. Sounds like at the very least she's going through a mid life crisis. Going from let's wait until marriage to this. It's not just op that's shocked. It's their friends too | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/25 05:09 PM |
| 6 | My wife is whoring aroundNot always, but a lot of.times women can pretend to.be what their partner wants for a while. A lot of people say divorce shows who they really are. It's understandable a month after asking for separation they moved on so fast. I'm assuming based on the shock from op she kinda flipped a switch. Same with the mutual friend responses.. sounds like they're wondering what happened to this person they knew..means the relationship wasn't that valuable to them only a month later..Didn't happen with me, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/25 02:54 PM |
| 9 | My wife is whoring aroundI guess if you don't hold any strong religious values maybe it doesn't make sense. It is like basically finding out everything they pretended to.be was a lie. Like who did I marry? You thought you shared common values and would never have even had a. relationship if they were like this. Id imagine it can be jarring at first, but hopefully when he processes it he will realize that while she wasted his time that he's better off now and she's shown who she really is and isn't a good match. When you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/25 02:41 PM |
| 5 | Imputing income for CS/alimonyNone of us can tell you unless we are an lawyers in your jurisdiction. I can say such a large drop will be heavily scrutinized at the very least. Imo us guys are likely to get screed with these things. 3 years after I'd moved out (divorce was like officially started a year before) and moving to shared custody I am sitting here listening to her say she can't work because she needs to take my oldest (both full time school) to some counselling appointments and other misc things. I said well my work… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/25 02:05 AM |
| -2 | Losing a wife and best friendDon't want to be insensitive or callous, but majority of the time a guy says she is his best friend.its because they didn't work hard enough to maintain their friendships/allows themselves to become isolated, were loners, or putting them on a pedestal. I've had one really good female friend growing up, and a couple leader ones along the way. None of them were able to fill the shoes some of.the bros have. It's not impossible to have female friends, but a lot of time the old wisdom is true. You wo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/25 04:27 PM |
| 3 | “I need a man who will be man enough to let me kick him in the face.”Mine claimed I forced her to marry me and never wanted to. When I asked about why did we just have another kid it was, well I was gonna have a second. Id you weren't willing it was going to be some guy at a bar. I finally learned about bpd (some combination of cluster B) and I'm about 99% sure she has it. Tried counselling and not surprisingly she just points the finger and got upset when they redirected to her and said stuff like I was very patient. You're definitely dealing with a manipulator … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 08:52 PM |
| 1 | “I need a man who will be man enough to let me kick him in the face.”I'm so sad for your children (and yourself ).I toughed it out for a while as well, but took my oldest some time to work through some of the shouting and arguments she witnessed. Near the end she felt she had to try and break it up. Grew up too fast. Wasn't good for her and she's still dealing with some inappropriate behaviour from mom (or course she tried to make me out to the bad parent). She was gonna kick her out a few times for her 'own mental well being'. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 08:31 PM |
| 2 | “I need a man who will be man enough to let me kick him in the face.”Just start by making some phone calls for free consults. That's it. Then worry about the next step after. Yeah mine said something about thinking it was great I was the type you could throw a dish at or something and would be loyal. Along with guys her own age being too rigid or inflexible or something (aka she was difficult and they didn't put up with it). I remember when she had thought it was oo to slap me whenever we got into an argument. I kept telling her to stop and said like how would yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 08:23 PM |
| 1 | Child supportIn Canada we just e-transfer to the other (at this point I've moved.up to shared and we both pay each other for purposes of claiming a dependent with her amount being much lower). I keep all the emails in a folder just in case. There is the option of an enforcement agency, but generally only used if there are problems and I think there is a minor cost for the service. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 03:09 PM |
| 6 | I knew what I signed up forMine only married to begin with for status, being provided for while she didn't work, and kids. Was pretty clear anr admitted I was essentially a project when she got married hoping she'd grow to love me. Despite the favourable terms she was crying in another room our first med/arb with the lawyer leading it asking what did she think was going to happen? Nothing was going to change in life? My lawyer figured she thought I'd just be out of their life but everything else would just continue as usu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 02:24 PM |
| 6 | I knew what I signed up forNice stereotype. My ex wife got laid off not long after marriage and always found a reason not to found another (still didn't bother looking until four years after I moved out). She sent the kids to daycare, did some things around the house, but complained about it and disappeared and said it's all yours when I got home. Also major anger issues that was physical for a bit, but mostly screaming and tantrums. Frugal in some ways but wasteful with money in others. Didn't seem to understand it took … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 02:15 PM |
| 6 | What ruined your marriage?Pretty much confirmed she married someone she hoped she would grow to love over time with growing resentment as I never became him..she also had bpd and was never satisfied with much in her life. Wasn't a perfect husband, but not much to work with to begin with. Never should have married. I don't think she ever forgot any slight and would continue to bring up little things I did 10 years earlier. I don't think a relationship can survive without forgiveness and being able to move on. Tbh I've dec… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/25 03:48 PM |
| 3 | Moving on, meeting a woman from churchMight not be wrong about that. It's understandable someone would be hesitant to be with someone only recently divorced. Also plenty of Christians who don't believe in being with a divorced person in general, as scripture talks about this. Have to respect that as well if they're having second thoughts after exploring the subject. May never tell you that outright though. I'm personally staying single for those reasons | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/25 03:24 PM |
| 5 | Dating a divorced guyCan't put an exact time table on these things. So many people are dating within a year and think they're fine and they're not. Depends how bad the marriage was,.how long they were together and tried to make to work. I definitely wasn't healed by 2.5 years. Even stuff like work I wasn't able to sit and concentrate as well and lacked my usual motivation. It's been 4 years since I moved out and finally about there. Dealing with bpd was rough and at first it was like I had to remember who I was agai… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/25 03:21 PM |
| 1 | Don’t get a job till divorce is overI'd imagine there just be some kind of process where if circumstances change you can go back to get things re evaluated. The stupid thing with Canada is they will do their best to keep you under 40%. She managed for a few years. 39% and below their income counts as zero and you have to pay 100% based on your income. At 40% it's magically shared and offset | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/25 11:46 PM |
| 4 | Don’t get a job till divorce is overIn Canada you provide each other yearly tax returns and support is re calculated every year. That said, my ex didn't even look for a job until 4 years after I moved out. When I say looked I mean when we had bumped up my days to be shared custody and were gonna inputr min wage full time to start then her bf suddenly gave her a job in his clinic for half time for same amount. She's got rich family and a paid off house. She was boarding 2/3 international students she didn't claim on taxes and makin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/25 06:47 PM |
| 5 | Be honest: how many of you were still attracted to your wife when you divorced?She'd definitely gotten fairly heavy (actually reasonable weight during pregnancies, but added weight after kids). As long as she was my wife and we were working on things didn't bother me too much and still found her attractive.. no prob getting in the mood. Once it was clear she basically used me the whole time and never cared that much about me the rose colored glasses fell off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/25 03:33 PM |
| 7 | How long until you started dating?Don't plan to. I'm good and need to focus on raising my kids. Been out of the house 4 years+ and started divorce process start of covid (which was already basically a year after we decided to divorce) Edit:As someone else said no time anyways. Barely have time to do some of my hobbies as is. Days I don't have kids it's making up hours I was short at work or finally getting groceries, laundry, cleaning house done | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/25 12:02 AM |
| 8 | Divorce generate $50 billion annually in the U.S. it's a business fuck you kidsTo go with your sixth point when one person has a lot of family money a d don't care about legal costs it's obviously a huge advantage..from what I've seen the system basically assumes at some point legal costs will be a big enough detriment that the two will be motivated to wrap things up. I. Canada it's fairly rare to actually see a court room. They will always ask in any court application if mediation or arbitration has been attempted first and it's usually only to resolve the one or two outs… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/25 04:31 AM |
| 2 | Anyone dealing with Intermittent explosive disorder, Pathological jealousy, and evening episodes?Unfortunately that does sound a lot like cluster B (bpd maybe). If so they will likely never see any fault with themselves or any reason to change/get help, but all you can do is try counselling I think | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 08:25 PM |
| 6 | Taking Responsibility - We Could Have Done Our HomeworkTbh a lot of the resources you were talking about weren't really mainstream when some of us got married. The whole manosphere and people talking more about divorce online is a fairly recent thing. Could have talked to lawyers, yes, but tbh losing some money was the smallest part of divorce and probably the least painful part. Plus or course nobody expects it'll happen to them, which bring me to talking to other guys. Depends on your circle I guess, but they all basically made marriage out to be … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/25 08:19 PM |
| 2 | Successful long-term relationships? Incorporating lessons from our divorceThanks. You too! | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/25 05:23 AM |
| 2 | Successful long-term relationships? Incorporating lessons from our divorceA couple reasons I've withdrawn. I guess if nothing else I'm a person of faith and always believed marriage wa a one time deal. When it broke down it was we either fix this or I'll remain single, I'm not looking for greener pastures. But yeah I'm also like the only reason to go through frustration is I'd you really want a family with kids and all (already have and don't want more). Otherwise you're giving up a lot for sex and some feel good hormones that fade. Never more exciting than early in r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/25 11:53 PM |
| 1 | Successful long-term relationships? Incorporating lessons from our divorceYup those types of mind games just become more hassle than they're worth. People talk about maintaining frame and stuff, but who genuinely wants to be stuck in a relationship indefinitely where they can t ever just be genuine and try to be reasonable with a person and let their guard down. Who wants to deal with being tested regularly. That's dealing with a child isn't it? | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/25 07:47 PM |
| 2 | Successful long-term relationships? Incorporating lessons from our divorceIt's true that many will say they want a man who's a leader then slowly chip away to get their own way because they can be a bit of a back seat driver. Imo it's a bit childish and I'd rather just enjoy my space than deal with a power struggle that's inevitably going to else to disrespect when I am the reasonable one who is willing to make a compromise here and there and value their opinion or just dont have the energy to keep holding ground on small stuff they can't let go. Got enough to worry a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/25 05:44 PM |
| 2 | Who claims kids with 50/50 custody?Maybe different in America. In Canada you can only claim one Dependant anyways (just don't claim same one). But yeah just pick one kid each and alternate if only one or when oldest is out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 10:07 PM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?Yeah fair enough. I had a large 5 bed house and a nice yard and now living in a little townhouse, but didn't bother me too much. Kinda depends on how it ended. Even if I kept most of everything I made in event of a divorce it's the other stuff that would really make me think twice. Became so isolated, my self confidence was gone, almost forgot who I was. For a while it was hard to concentrate on work and do a full 9 hour day (we work an hour extra and get every other Friday off). I couldn't even… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 01:55 AM |
| 2 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?Seems odd you have so much wealth but the child support is not bad. Maybe american child support is just that much lower or your ex makes big $$ as well. Even with share custody what i pay her vs what she pays me is double (offset income). If you're paying her 7 figures then surely you're also keeping 7 figures and not hurting. Not saying it doesn't hurt, but personally after giving her almost 70% of everything (she had family money involved and I did not want to benefit from it), stuff like acc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 01:32 AM |
| 4 | Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's?Tbh never understood why anyone thinks it's the magical answer. Majority the damage from a divorce (especially when you have kids) isn't form the 50/50 split (minus what you had entering marriage), it's the child support (not affected by prenups) and the emotional toll. Splitting finances was the easy part for me personally even though obviously I have a lot less now. Emotionally it's taken years to recover and as long s I'm paying child support month to month is tight, but i have a nest egg fro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/25 12:32 AM |
| 1 | Divorce modification: Ex asking to take off geographical restriction.Yeah op is involved, end of story really. In a case where both parents actually want to be involved in their life it's almost always selfish for one to move away from where the child was being raised and generally they should be doing it alone. The one working and trying to be a good parent where the child's home is should never be the one punished and it should 100% always be setup to discourage the one who's causing the child to not have both parents in their life. It would be absurd to reward… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 03:18 AM |
| 1 | Dads who have been through a divorce or separation, what's one thing you wish someone had told you before you started dating again?I think the better ones are more like long time friends eventually with odd bit of romance. Although maybe that friend you've been roommates with for a while and you're more just comfortable with each other. Mine definitely was one of the worse scenarios (some are worse). I went in with fairly low expectations, more that I'd be putting them first and was still really disappointed. Kept waiting for it to get better. It kinda did until she basically got that bigger house or that kid and then it wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/25 03:44 PM |
| 3 | Dads who have been through a divorce or separation, what's one thing you wish someone had told you before you started dating again?Yeah none of us thought that.. building a family with someone was supposed to be this amazing thing that was the pinnacle. It's kind of a lie sold and most people don't really want to be the one to correct it or give a more reasonable view. I think even a lot of married people think it's just theirs that doesn't live up to it and don't want to admit it, but my experience is when you have deeper discussions it basically everyone and of course some of us that were far worse | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/25 03:17 PM |
| 4 | Dads who have been through a divorce or separation, what's one thing you wish someone had told you before you started dating again?There are some that they manage to tough it out or learn to not get in each other's way and have some trust. I will say though that generally they generally peak very early. Almost never better than near the start and goes down from there, the struggle is to keep it 'good enough', which might be marginally better than being single in the better scenarios | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/25 02:43 PM |
| 3 | How was she able to move on so quickly and be so callous when I miss her everyday and can’t move forwardYup. Once I realized she never loved me it was easier to say good riddance and forget all about her (although raised questions like the fact I don't think I've ever been loved deeply by a woman). It helped it was a long time coming too though | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 10:37 PM |
| 3 | She bought lingerie…Just remember once she figures she's got someone she will let all of that go. He will be the fool. My ex actually pretended she liked hiking of all things with the new guy lol. My oldest kinda let it slip some of the shit she pulls with him and how she sometimes feels sorry for the guy | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/25 01:49 AM |
| 6 | Guys who've had the worst divorce, do you regret meeting her?Yeah hard to imagine life without them, but definitely having them with someone else would have set them up a little better and been easier on me. Of course they wouldn't be the ones I love today, but I'd think they were just as special I'm sure | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 04:46 AM |
| 9 | Guys who've had the worst divorce, do you regret meeting her?I'd miss my kids, but my life would have been a lot easier. Maybe I'd have had kids with someone else and enjoyed them just as much and a better place to raise them. Certainly their mother has done damage to them as well (bpd)..would have liked to give them a better lot in life. One of those things you can't imagine a world without them though | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 04:40 AM |
| 1 | Ex wife giving kids sleep medsYeah I hear ya I had very similar concerns | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 05:32 AM |
| 4 | Ex wife giving kids sleep medsI had the same concerns about melatonin but family doc confirmed with ADHD it's ok to give every night in small doses. She gets trb 1mg and cuts it into four. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/25 04:12 AM |
| 1 | Do not sponsor a greencard EVERYeah once we shifted to shared custody we inputted income and suddenly comes with a job offer from her bf for that amount working half time lol. Would never have got a job otherwise. Don't think she ever looked prior to that | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/25 03:23 PM |
| 9 | Divorced more than once a red flag?Serial dating is a lot different than someone who can't honour their vows. Yes it's possible they got a raw deal twice. Maybe poor judge of character. Tbh anyone that rushes right back into marriage after divorce 1 may have some issues with being alone and other issues. Anyone that fights hard for their first marriage and goes through all that isn't gonna rush into another. It's easier if you didn't think it was a big deal End of day statistically after each marriage chances of having success go… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 02:44 PM |
| 7 | I truly dislike my ex-wife, I feel she wasted my time getting married to me.Not that this is some competition, but I don't just think she wasted my time, I know she did. I realized eventually I was never really that you to her from day one. She admitted she basically thought I was decent and could potentially be more when we married but never lived up to her hopes. I asked specifically about wmh she pushed sk hard for second kid when she checked out right after she got pregnant. Response was she was having a second whether it was me or a guy from a bar. So yeah they can… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/25 03:40 AM |
| 8 | Marriage is LonelyYeah I've never been more lonely than when n was married..I'd say I wasn't even really lonely before that, just had longings but lots of good relationships..I know some will say make your needs known. It's worth trying, but for me when I was constantly walking on eggshells around her and having to apologize there wasn't much room for that.. hopefully yours will be more receptive | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/25 02:38 AM |
| 2 | Why are women always so quick to advocate divorce?Yeah I basically grew up with the mindset divorce wasn't an option. It was in sickness and in health for better or worse. I wasn't real happy, but I tried to make it work til the end | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 01:15 PM |
| 4 | Why are women always so quick to advocate divorce?I hear that a lot but kinda feels hard to believe. Married guys I know all seem so restricted and kinda toughing it out and trying to do the right thing. I feel like guys in general are just more willing to be content and not necessarily happy (Making most of their circumstances), whereas women think they have to be happy with their circumstances more and more critical of things. Psychology wise they're more prone to neuroticism | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/25 03:32 PM |
| 8 | Why did you get married in the first place?I'm 39 and it was the opposite when I was growing up. Only knew one divorced person I think and was basically told only selfish people got divorced. Just make sure to be humble and put them first and it would be fine. Wanted to have kids and all of that since like junior high. Man I had no clue. Of course I also didn't start realizing til later that my parents relationship probably wasn't as healthy as it appeared. My mom worked hard to keep the peace. Then after I was married realized a lot of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/25 11:48 PM |
| 16 | Now wife works out and loses weightOnce she gets comfortable around him she will pack it back on. I remember when my ex started dating suddenly she was going for walks and pretended to like hiking for a while. She never wanted to do any of that stuff and just sat on her laptop most of the day. Pretty sure she's already slowing down on a lot it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 09:42 PM |
| 5 | Now wife works out and loses weightOnce she gets comfortable around him she will pack it back on. I remember when my ex started dating suddenly she was going for walks and pretended to like hiking for a while. She never wanted to do any of that stuff and just sat on her laptop most of the day. Pretty sure she's already slowed down on some of that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 09:42 PM |
| 9 | 24 M, is marriage worth it?For the majority of succesful marriages they'll be anywhere to serviceable to comfortable. For the ones that aren't it'll be anywhere from something that drags you down to life ruining at least for a while. Just be really careful.. better to be alone than to try and force something or hope you can help them get through their issues etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 06:02 AM |
| 5 | Was it you or her that caused the divorce?She basically never fully accepted me from day 1. Realized much later things only seemed good or hopeful until we had a kid or moved to a bigger house. Nothing was ever good enough. Everything was my fault. She wasn't too happy when counselors didn't just try and fix me and tried to get her to actually speak more positively, try to name some positive traits, told the way she speaks puts up a wall. Decided she wanted out. After we were basically done admitted she felt she should get marry, I was … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/25 01:04 AM |
| 2 | Has your view of women in relationships changed?Not gonna disagree, but never liked making any of it a game and never was willing to. One of the reasons I'm happy just being out of the game altogether. I'd rather just live a simple life than trying to play hard to get and all this. Then it never ends..you're in a relationship and show too much affection and they pull away etc.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 05:24 PM |
| 12 | Has your view of women in relationships changed?I've come to realize my life has been pretty smooth when I haven't worried about being in a relationship. A lot of my struggles growing up were agonizing over some girl id liked over and the biggest set back in life was getting married, although my children were the biggest silver lining (can be a pain but love em and looking forward to celebrating milestones) It's one of.those things where trying to force the issue is a bad idea. I would never spend much energy trying to convince someone I was … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 04:23 PM |
| 1 | Do you fight less/get less angry in your new relationships?Fair enough. It's usually the man doing the chasing. I personally wouldnt know. My ex was my only real long term relationship and it was just her clock ticking. I was a means to an end and she resented me after not long. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/25 03:53 AM |
| 4 | Asking your husband to do as much chores as you when you are a SAHM is abuseI had a feeling mine would just show up and complain about me and say fix him. That's exactly what she did and they weren't having it. I say they because after the first one she's like I'm out and the chruch is like please give one more try. We know a good counsellor and we will pay for it. Guy had psychology degree and rheology and was honestly funny the way he'd role play and curse and then be like let's pray. He was a genuine dude. He basically told my ex her reactions and speech patterns sto… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/25 04:31 PM |
| 2 | Do you fight less/get less angry in your new relationships?Figured if I stayed single and focused on my kids wouldn't have to deal with crazy. Glad you seem to have found a unicorn | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/25 12:25 AM |
| 2 | Do you fight less/get less angry in your new relationships?The running joke is that wives are never wrong. My only real ltr was my bpd ex who was never wrong.. so you're saying some will admit it? Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/25 12:20 AM |
| 6 | Not attracted to women my own age…I'm almost 40 and I know what you mean. The odd woman who immigrated here that still looks great, but most locals look kinda rough at around mid 30s and up. I'm not interested in dating again though so no worries. Prob a good thing since I've put on some weight myself. If they have kids it can be really hard. The few days you get to you self is always catch up on support and chores when they're with the other parent. Beyond that I do think some partied a little too hard or drink too much. So yea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/25 12:10 AM |
| 13 | Asking your husband to do as much chores as you when you are a SAHM is abuseIn her mind my job wasn't demanding because it was computer work (cad and engineering design). She couldn't fathom how it was stressful. She pretty much sent out kids to preschool as soon as they were old enough like 3-4 days a week, but I couldn't get home early enough from work. Id start at 7. Worked 9s except Fridays (44/36 schedule). The moment I got home she would say your turn and disappear to the bedroom with her laptop unless she had a project for me to do. She needed her break. My paren… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 11:46 PM |
| 5 | Marriage statistics, a huge fail.According to the article it's extremely significant. Interesting. Thought most first marriages divorced before that age, but people are getting married and having kids later and later | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/25 03:14 AM |
| 21 | Marriage statistics, a huge fail.Some people definitely expect too much. More often than not it's the women.. grow up dreaming about their wedding at a young age and believing Disney stuff is real. He's supposed to be my best friend etc. I do think this is why arranged marriages centuries ago often lasted longer. Often married into a distant relative or family friend where you weren't looking for your "soul mate" but someone with similar values you could try and make it work with. I personally went in with fairly low expectatio… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/25 04:36 PM |
| 2 | First relationship after divorce?Every single one of those is a valid concern and focusing on your kid is 100% a worthy choice. Otherwise everyone else pretty much covered it. Could go either way and if you want to pursue it take it slow. When you're away from them and not infatuated is probably closest to trh truth of the matter so don't ignore them and ask how valid they are based on your experience. Especially as that feeling of infatuation won't last | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/25 03:29 AM |
| 1 | Why did you marry her/stay with her?Id never even heard of it until I'd been married for several years. So much more stuff is public knowledge now with Reddit and whatnot where there are entire groups to discuss it. Made so much sense though. At some point I realized she just had a different way of looking at the world from everyone else and that's when I started digging more. Still have to deal with her telling my oldest she's giving up on her and stuff like that.. and having to actually explain to her how badly you'll mess up ou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/25 05:52 PM |
| 9 | Why did you marry her/stay with her?Pretty simple. Just young and naiive. Grew up around 90s Christian purity culture and told people only get divorced cause they're selfish (message I heard was don't be selfish and you'll be fine). Was first real long term relationship if has, I was 24. A bit of a saviour complex thinking my calm and laid back self could handle her insecurities and swings. I didn't think you could really marry the wrong person.. just that some would test your patience more, bur everything could be fixed with humi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/25 07:08 PM |
| 4 | The ‘DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOME’,’GET 50-50 CUSTODY’and ‘LET THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS KNOW ABOUT THE CHEATING’ are not an option anymore.It was initiated by me to get my kids out of the shelter. No TRO. She had a panic attack the morning after mediation. Kid came to get me from basement while I was working telling me ambulance there. They were trying to get her to stop hyper ventilating. Apparently a panic attack. Kept asking if she needed a ride back and shows up with cops saying she wanted to go to a shelter so called lawyer. Was stating it was no place for my kids and how do I get them home. After they already spent a night th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/25 05:38 PM |
| 5 | The ‘DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOME’,’GET 50-50 CUSTODY’and ‘LET THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS KNOW ABOUT THE CHEATING’ are not an option anymore.She basically held my kids hostage at a women's shelter until I agreed to move out. I was just trying to do whatever I could do they didn't have to stay there. Never any actual reason given to lawyers or myself other than she had a panic attack. It was the day after the financial mediation didn't go the way she hoped and had come home crying. Was good status quo didn't matter but it was a slow and pricey climb to shared custody after starting with an emergency custody order as every other weeken… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/25 04:25 PM |
| 2 | Did the amount of kids contribute to divorce?That first point really depends on the kids themselves and possibly the age gap. It became a lot more difficult with two for us. Oldest really bullied the youngest a lot no matter how much we talked to her about it or tried to take things away when she did it etc. we have had her in counselling and trying to help her and understand it. It has thankfully been better lately, although she's in that brooding teen phase where she spends limited time with the family | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/25 06:44 AM |
| 3 | Why can’t they just apologize?I actually saw her lose one of her best friends with that shit. She mad a joke T her friends expense. When her friend got offended instead of owning it was a bad joke she had to instead bring up every thing the friend ever did to offend her. Remember feeling so disappointed cause her friend was a sweet girl (a little sensitive ). I was only starting to realize that's how she operated | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 07:39 AM |
| 12 | Do all long-term relationships get dull?Marriage isn't there to keep your entertained and stimulated all the time. Sounds like you guys need your own hobbies and friends. Not everything has to be done together and there are other interests and people. Being dull or boring is a poor reason to consider divorce imo. A lot of us would have been happy to have that. If you get along, don't fight about things, communicate well, theyre way good parent, that's better than many marriages. Some people put way too much on their partner. Or course… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 10:38 PM |
| 2 | Do all long-term relationships get dull?Yup. It you actually get along and don't fight about things that's better than many. Not gonna be exciting all the time. Maybe op and wife need more hobbies of their own That last part is true. I keep my gym membership because it's so cheap, but I probably go a few times a month. Like you said the nights you don't have kids you're catching up in chores.. maybe even the hours you were short from work after all the drop offs/pick ups | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 10:33 PM |
| 11 | Why can’t they just apologize?Worse than that. They expect YOU to apologize. They can absolutely crush you and simply saying something to stand up for yourself can mean the entire thing is now your fault. Was with them for 10 years and could count on one hand the amount of apologies I got, with them being earlier on. On the other hand I also don't think she ever truly forgave me for even the smallest offenses from when we first met to when we split. Would bring up stuff from 10 years earlier. Although I'm pretty sure she had… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 02:21 PM |
| 3 | Mum kills herself and disabled son , the comments under this video are insaneThe difference is you made those decisions for yourself, not someone else. I get when you're old estate planning is serious, but 2 days after a diagnosis is not the time to be making the decision to make a 'noble sacrifice ' of someone else. She wasn't in a good state of mind and had other things that made it that much harder I get it. It's the comments like she's some kind hero that are vomit inducing | /r/MensRights | 12/02/25 11:16 PM |
| 1 | Mum kills herself and disabled son , the comments under this video are insaneWhile I'd considered this myself, I ultimately dismissed it as bs. There is no way you go from wondering what if something ever happened to me (even including making and will and such and godparents) to.. I found out I'm going to die so I'll kill us both within two days. There can't possibly be any other options for him. That's nothing short of a rash decision on someone else's life period | /r/MensRights | 12/02/25 10:57 PM |
| 12 | Mom-of-four brutally executes her three young daughters before shooting herselfThe lawyers and mediator didn't really even care about what was essentially tax fraud lol. Her lawyer is like ok so to answer your question, as long as you don't report the income from the exchange students on your taxes it won't be an issue when you guys calculate custody (after I provided material showing it should be reported). She also basically got caught in a lie about being reimbursed by family in a different account for an expense she was claiming for kids. She kinda backtracked and trai… | /r/MensRights | 12/02/25 10:54 PM |
| 12 | Mum kills herself and disabled son , the comments under this video are insaneWe are supposed to believe that within two days she exhausted all possible options and made the executive decision the son would be better off killed? Yeah people don't get that right to another person's life. There are surely other family members and programs that could have been looked into | /r/MensRights | 12/02/25 10:47 PM |
| 1 | Tried Maxing Out Child SupportInteresting in Canada they ask for your tax return from previous year and every year tax returns get reviewed and recalculated (there is apparently a free system for a quick consult to recalculate about to find out this summer) | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/25 03:12 PM |
| 12 | How come only men complain about loneliness ?Must depend on the subs you frequent. I find in Christian subs at least it's often the women complaining about loneliness. Imo they don't usually handle being single as well and at used to having a constant stream of either relationships or at least guys in their life | /r/MensRights | 02/02/25 05:10 PM |
| 6 | I hate relationshipsThe thing is they're never generally better or more exciting than in trh first couple of years are they? Someone would try to play on semantics and say define better because while she's not physically attractive and things can be hard, we've grown together an wouldn't change it for anything etc... like yeah I'd you're fortunate and neither of you wavers maybe you become comfortable together and absolutely decades together can mean some huge trust built. I get it... But it seems more the exceptio… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/25 07:49 PM |
| 5 | My (34m) wife (33f) Came home for the holidays and told me that she is no longer in love with me. Is there a way to save this marriage?Not same circumstances, but it took me years of marriage Nd her basically giving up the second she was done having kids for me to look back and realize this was me. Never loved me and only showed affection when the relationship was fresh and when she wanted something. I agree that op was probably just a means to an end, as I was. It sucks but once you realize it then it becomes a little easier to move on. I do think marriage counseling, while it didn't save mine, confirmed she wasn't willing to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/25 05:14 PM |
| 26 | A whopping 24% of males 22-34 had not had sex in the year 2022-2023 — up from 9% in 2013-15. For females, the number was 13%, up from 8%.I don't find that shocking tbh. 3/4 of men are still having sex. Irs only shocking in hook-up culture imo. What's more shocking is the discrepancy, which reinforces the fact multiple women are hooking up with the same guy | /r/MensRights | 24/01/25 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Having children with us make women perceive us as less of a threat.Not so sure about that one. I think many young women without kids of their own are likely to take at least an older guy off the table if he has kids. They may still want to have their own and/or not want to be a step mom. If he's still young and it's only one maybe they'd consider having one more thing together. If course some are fine just being a step mom and don't want their own. If they already have their own then it's just a blended family. So lots of variations, but as a single dad I perso… | /r/MensRights | 23/01/25 04:45 AM |
| 7 | Ex wife Kidnapped the kids | She's a fugitiveThat's awful. I didn't think mine would, but there was always a chance.. she pulled some antics when we were divorcing and took the kids and their passports to go to a shelter. So I worried with the passports and potentially going to her home country with them. Fortunately didn't happen. Not part of Hague convention but the neighbouring country she has some family and friends is. Like you said this isn't some celebration. That's terrible for the kids. Ideally both parents can manage to co-parent… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/25 01:56 AM |
| 9 | If Tom Brady and Bill Gates got divorced then what chance do mere mortals have?The idea of constantly projecting macho, holding framee, never letting your guard down, acting stoic or disinterested all the time when you really care for someone.. yeah if that's what it takes I'd rather be single tbh. Kinda defeats the purpose of a relationship imo. But they tend to just want sex I guess | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/25 10:18 PM |
| 1 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!Thanks. Like you said I do struggle with not feeling desirable, but it was definitely twisted being with that kind of person, and should not be a basis. Some people aren't capable of truly loving others whether they love themselves too much or never received it themselves | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 05:16 AM |
| 2 | How do you separate without leaving the house?In policy it's the same in Canada. In practicality we had lawyers tell your separation date is whatever you want as long as you both mutually agree. The only one who will ever contest it is the other person in the divorce and generally only if they don't want it. No one in government or any lawyer will otherwise challenge the date you put. Not sure if it's the same there, but not sure how they could possibly enforce anything different or how anyone could fact check it or care. In our case we bas… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/25 06:26 AM |
| 32 | Feminist Prime Minister of Canada announces he will resign.He's planning on being a lame duck for a couple more months until they get a new leader. Hopefully this starts a non confidence vote. NDP, cons, bq should all be able to agreed on that at this point | /r/MensRights | 06/01/25 11:39 PM |
| 2 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!Gotta make sure they eat and brush teeth etc. but yeah I do it all the time now in addition to 9 hr work day. It's hardly an ordeal I'd you're just hanging out at home and not working 8 or 9 hours plus travel. A bit harder may e when they're toddlers but they're also four years apart.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 06:10 PM |
| 3 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!Tbh in kinda struggling this morning with the idea I was never loved. But I've realized they're simply not capable of loving another person genuinely. Being mad for not receiving something they didn't have to give us kinda an exercise in futility. Some people aren't capable of love because then never really received it themselves. No dad and abusive mom | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 06:08 PM |
| 10 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!Yup I experienced all of that as well.... And yeah especially on Reddit it's always a guys fault somehow. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/25 01:41 AM |
| 22 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!There was a thread in the life subreddit. Someone saying they don't want to get married and guys will just make her do everything. I said it can go both ways and that my ex was a stay at home mom who sent kids to preschool a few days a week. Of course someone immediately attacked me saying being a stay at home mom is tiring. I said they obviously didn't read my comment and kids were away all day. Just more garbage about how making lunches and getting them up was so hard, no wonder I'm divorced. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/25 11:03 PM |
| 10 | Divorce modification: Ex asking to take off geographical restriction.Hell no. Has to stay in county. That's it. I can't believe how selfish some mom's can be. Isn't a kid having both parents m their life a little more important than a promotion? If she wants that promotion she will have to move without the kid I guess. Will show what's more important to her. The second you say you you will get 90 day notice. Zero reason to give in here. Good chance you won't see your kid much other than maybe summer if you agree | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 06:21 AM |
| 2 | KARMA! Is it real?Yeah I believe we will all be judged at the end | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/25 01:01 AM |
| 4 | KARMA! Is it real?Yeah sometimes they are their own worst enemy and yet it's always someone's else's fault. doesn't matter how bad their judgment has been and how much risk taking they do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/25 10:42 PM |
| 8 | KARMA! Is it real?I think sometimes justice isn't in this lifetime. Sometimes it's after this life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/25 10:41 PM |
| 22 | i cannot stand "incel" term.It honestly is almost akin to saying someone has a small penis. It's an attempt to try and attack someone's image. Yeah sometimes it's also used more for the 'no wonder you're single' angle. Often question why thats a bad thing. Again a person's worth isn't based on whether they have a relationship of that nature. I guess if they truly are and havent had a lot of success, but just feels like a low blow to me. It's not an actual argument most of the time. In fact sometimes it's like you're not al… | /r/MensRights | 01/01/25 01:34 AM |
| 1 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth.I said short of abortion... Unfortunately no, a husband can't reslly do anything to stop her from terminating a pregnancy since he's not carrying it. All he can do is appeal morally and go by current laws. I don't buy the argument that because a woman can legally kill my unborn kid I'll exercise my right to abandon one that's born. Get nowhere but rock bottom depraved society with that and adding to injustices done to children based on some twisted form of fairness | /r/MensRights | 01/01/25 12:03 AM |
| 1 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth.Well I'd say that 100% wrong morally. Anytime an adoption happens every attempt reasonable should be made to get consent from both parents and find the father if not present with proof of parenthood (someone can't just claim this is my child here ya go without proof). I was under the assumption that generally happened, but it becomes difficult to determine that sometimes. Abandonment is difficult because the idea is anonymity and I guess the worry of what might happen if they had to show their f… | /r/MensRights | 01/01/25 12:01 AM |
| 1 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth.Hr has a legal right to his child shirt of abortion. Which is another debate. If we want to talk about what's fair nothing short of two Loving supportive (time, finances, emotions) is fair for that child. For adults life often isn't fair and you often have to do the right thing despite others not doing that. Just because we are uncomfortable limiting selfish choices by mom, doesn't mean we then open the gates to selfish choices by dad. Abortion is a very complicated issue and morally I think it'… | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 11:01 PM |
| 1 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth.Any argument that justifies behavior based on another person's bad behavior generally isn't a good one. No a mother can't just give a child up without informing him to my knowledge. At least not legally. The Crux is he has to know about it to get legal help to stop it. Abortion is a different debate and I have my own issues with it. The question is always what if a man has to carry it and would you argue the same. Personally I think morally there is always an issue with abortion, but making some… | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 10:56 PM |
| 1 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth.Nah what you're proposing is a race to the bottom and everybody being crappy at the expense of the kid. The problem is, short of rape, sperm donor, or similar, are the kids his or not? Once that's established both parents have a responsibility whether they're together or not. It's that simple. Neither one should be looking for an out. A father can't just withdraw consent from being a father after the fact. Heck I just had some hard conversations with my ex about how she can't just abandon our ol… | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 07:12 PM |
| 3 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth.Are you actually suggesting a man can abandon what may or may not be his biological kid at any time? That hardly feels like a constructive solution here. Why the competition for parent of the year here? One side can be shit so let's both be shit? Lose-lose for the kids. Id rather just be confident in who the real dad is and make sure both parents are responsible | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 06:34 PM |
| 5 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth.It's a a simple solution. Every baby gets a Dna test for health reasons. All kinds of stuff you can screen for and potentially prevent through it. Even id you take out paternity fraud there is helpful info that can be gained | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 06:32 PM |
| 8 | Absurd arguments/logic from this article against mandatory paternity testing at birth."In positive/negative paternity testing, women’s sexual practices will be exposed: identifying whether or not her social partner is the genetic father. Yet, a social father’s sexual practices are not explicitly exposed in paternity testing" They're all pretty absurd (like arguing about autonomy when a guy may unknowingly be raising another man's kid with a. Cheater), but this one may take the cake. 'dad might be a filthy cheater too, so we can't possibly show if mom is a filthy cheater or not!' … | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 06:29 PM |
| 6 | How did your kids react to your divorce? How are they now?My oldest when we told her at first it was like we broke her poor heart. She was I think 7 still. Youngest wasnt quite four so he didn't take it quite as hard. Unfortunately my oldest is having some issues with behavioural stuff. Some of it might be genetic predisposition but it definitely did not help. Grandma is classic npd and I'm pretty sure mom is bpd. Seems to run in the women in that family. Unfortunately there is some talk about personality disorder but too young to diagnose. Starting so… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 04:15 PM |
| 4 | "You just couldn't find a woman in your own country/you wanted a slave from the third world/you're taking advantage of those poorly educated girls" - How would you respond to this?shrug: How much of 'a handful to deal with' is because the husband is not working with his wife/girlfriend? More often than not the opposite problem. Often find softer spoken men or laid back guys and push boundaries a lot and more likely to be disrespectful. Some are like once they get an idea in their head it's almost impossible to convince them otherwise even if it's a bad idea. Stubborn by definition basically, almost a synonym for strong willed. My ex had other issues but yeah someone who's… | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 07:13 AM |
| 7 | "You just couldn't find a woman in your own country/you wanted a slave from the third world/you're taking advantage of those poorly educated girls" - How would you respond to this?Strong willed women can be a handful to deal with too though. The type of women where the husband gets tired of how opinionated they get about everything and being challenged too much. Or often his own opinion often seems to matter less. Strong willed and opinionated wears on a man | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 06:57 AM |
| 23 | "You just couldn't find a woman in your own country/you wanted a slave from the third world/you're taking advantage of those poorly educated girls" - How would you respond to this?Tbh it's still kind of a mess everywhere. Ex was from SEA and borderline, so certainly not typical, but saw plenty of women in Malaysia and Singapore that were real handfuls and entitled. My coworker form Hong Kong had actually warned me about entitled Singapore girls..I've also oddly known couples where the wife was form Hong Kong and China and have been a handful as well (very strong willed)..Currently involved in a Filipino church and even some of them are fairly strong willed. Not all are th… | /r/MensRights | 31/12/24 03:40 AM |
| 4 | What would you have done differently?Exactly. That's how I was told it should be. Unfortunately sometimes one party has rediculous expectations and think life will go on same, you'll just be out of the picture, like my ex lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/24 06:13 AM |
| 2 | What would you have done differently?Lol you sound a bit like my ex. Life is going to change and it's not going to be anything either of you think is great. Very rarely does one party ever walk away happy with the agreement. Your time with your boys and the accumulated wealth will be split | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/24 02:04 AM |
| 3 | "Misandry doesn't kill men"I suppose they don't think suicide counts? Pretty sure the higher suicide rate isn't just because men are more dramatic. In reality women are shown to be more neurotic and prone to depression and yet male suicide rate is much higher. Methinks they get a lot less support and aren't as free to open up or look for it | /r/MensRights | 29/12/24 01:25 AM |
| 1 | How did you decide what place to get not know if you’ll pay, child support, alimony?I rented until I got it sorted out. Took over 3 years unfortunately and the market went crazy during that time (40% increase or so). Unfortunately both the job market had some instability and I did not know what my budget would look like. Finally found a place recently right after school was back in and a place had stayed on market a bit longer | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/24 04:38 PM |
| 2 | Lost interest in womenAgreed. I just adopted myself. She is such a sweet cat who brings me a lot of joy. Seeing how happy she is after what happened to her... (She was found in a taped up box) | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/24 04:16 PM |
| 2 | Lost interest in womenHonestly you don't even need to scoop every day with one cat. Can often go a few days, especially if you use wood pellets. Their poops are very small. It takes less than 5 minutes too | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/24 04:15 PM |
| 35 | Let's Resurrect MGOTW!The idea has lived on in many of us even if we don't have an official sub anymore. There are some other sites as far as I know. I just don't feel the need to read about it much. I'm just focused on being a dad, my hobbies and friends, etc.. | /r/MensRights | 21/12/24 05:45 AM |
| 1 | Did you any of you guys benefit from therapy post divorce?Yeah I'm kinda in the same boat. I don't even have time for gym let alone therapy and it's like 200+ an hour. Health benefits cover like 3 or 4 sessions for the year | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/24 06:30 AM |
| 8 | Leaving my pregnant wifeKinda shitty what she did and yes she knew what she was doing. You definitely should have looked into that more and had second thoughts about it with a rocky marriage.. been there though If you abandon them I feel like it's shitty for a different reason than anyone has mentioned. Even if you don't want to be with her you have a kid. Not fair to them to be raised by a single mom and dad not involved in their life. Hurting their chance in life right off the best. Imo that's the part that would mak… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 03:48 AM |
| 5 | Wife “wants us to be great co-parents” but she is asking for it ALL…To this very day I was thr unreasonable one in her mind. She was so generous. She was willing to let me visit them basically anytime I wanted, just wanted to have primary custody on paper and on paper if be an every other weekend dad. According to her she was so generous I could have lived in the basement if I hadn't been greedy and hired a lawyer. Should have went with her flat rate divorce person, lived into the basement for a while... Of course she also under her flat rate person was expectin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/24 06:05 AM |
| 5 | How did you deal with living together right before the physical separation?We started divorce process right when covid hit and then hunkered down for a year. Yeah it sucked. Was in another room upstairs, but with it spilling over eventually moved to basement | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/24 03:35 PM |
| 10 | Work-life balance isn't working for women. Why?Who would have thought looking after the home and kids (went why aren't at school) would be better than the grind we all go through every day and then still have to split those duties? | /r/MensRights | 05/12/24 06:13 PM |
| 4 | Social media during divorceYeah man posted all kinds of trash on social media too. My parents would screenshot and send it to me. I had friends say yeah they saw it but ignored it. I had an old friend of hers from college I met once or two message me and say he knew it was all bs, that she's been known to embellish things, that it's not thr writings of a mentally well person. I got my lawyer to talk to her lawyer to stop it. She agreed she would also remove all of my family and mutual friends. As far as I know she stopped… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 03:26 PM |
| 1 | How many of you are still friends w your ex wife?Yup got a fresh dose of that today. Ex still trying to convince my oldest to spend less time here. Asked me on an update and I'm like I thought that was dead already... We spent way too much time coming up with a. Custody plan that we just finalized months ago. Seriously trying to say my kid is seeing how greedy I am and what I put her through. Literally just wanted equal time with my kids and if j was about money at all there is zero chance I spend so much of it along with so much effort and ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/24 02:01 AM |
| 2 | The pain of losing your kidsAnd she's been pissed at me for the last 3 years for "getting" so much time with our son. Wild how they twist shit and the entitlement. I said day one in our kitchen I worked hard paying mortgages but I respect the money you family gave. Just give me whats in your tax free savings account, whatever you is liquid (50k or so) and I'll keep my retirement and my TFSA. You keep the full paid off 2500sq ft house with developed basement..nope that was greedy apparently. Everything I paid for was basica… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/24 12:12 AM |
| 1 | The pain of losing your kidsYeah was told with her false accusations this shit happens all the time with moms specifically (my lawyer and mediator were both women and said this) and that they would have a. Psychologist talk to oldest and if nothing there would be consequences. Was nothing there other than mom telling kids too m.ay details of divorce and surprise, no consequences | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 11:02 PM |
| 3 | The pain of losing your kidsShe pulled all the dirty tricks... Even ran off to a shelter and I agreed to move out if she didn't make my kids stay there. Had an emergency court order made and agreed to every second weekend to start basically. Was told precedent didn't matter but it was bs. Every time we met for mediation it was add an extra day. Took me years and a fortune to get to 60/40 basically. Only months after, and finally feeling like legal bills are over and getting a small townhouse, now she's convinced oldest who… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 10:18 PM |
| 5 | The pain of losing your kidsIt never really stops. This is what is probably the most daunting. You think wow I can finally relax a little... I mean after legal bills finally stopped and it seemed sorta I finally felt confident enough to buy a small older townhouse. Moved in and this happens three weeks after. Guaranteed mom felt threatened by the fact I was actually somewhat back on my feet. She's held her big beautiful house as a trump card over my moving from apartment to apartment. It's like the moment you climb to the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 09:34 PM |
| 4 | The pain of losing your kidsI can manage a couple days here and there, but yeah I really start to miss them after that. What is hitting me harder is the mind games mom does with oldest. She's trying to use my ex and I against each other a bit here and my ex is encouraging it. I want to spend less time at dads cause he took away my device for an evening. Ok great honey let's tell him together.. and somehow my kid knows it affects support amounts too... I spent years and tears trying to have as much time with them as possibl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 09:29 PM |
| 2 | How many of you are still friends w your ex wife?Yeah mine made some false accusations, spewed lies all over Facebook where mutual friends and family could see it before my lawyer muzzled her. Ibe also seen her abuse social systems and make use of them instead of.thr people who actually need them. Went years after divorce without ever looking for a job, rich family who paid off her big house. Was really awkward when someone from.her church at that time dropped off groceries when I was getting my kids and apparently used food bank. Also made us… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 04:59 AM |
| 16 | How many of you are still friends w your ex wife?Heck no. If we still enjoyed each other's company then we never should have broke up the family. I can tolerate her and cooperate on kids stuff, but that's about it. I don't trust her much outside of looking after kids. I don't think she's actually a very good human being. Would never even have been friends when I first met her if I knew the real her. Apparently others feel the same as she's gradually lost most of her friends | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/24 02:53 AM |
| 2 | What actually gets someone in trouble during divorce process?Short of actual criminal activity it feels like a myth to me. Most I ever got was they asked her to stop posting nasty stuff in Facebook where any mutual contacts could see it. She then agree with me she'd remove any family members of mine and people that were more my friends. Oddly enough one aunt/uncle still seems to be in mine but never post other than maybe a few hiking pics Dirty stuff like false accusations, taking kids to shelter to get me to move out (with no explanation why to lawyers),… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/24 07:28 PM |
| 1 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationI'm open to using the carrot more and usually do, but I'm curious why you think that and if you're basing too much of this on some studies. If you're out there in the world and make a commitment or have certain expectations and you don't follow through are there not consequences to those actions? May be a boss or a friend upset or it might just be natural consequences to you for procrastinating and missing the deadline. How is removing a privilege that much different? I don't see how it is. Kids… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/24 02:28 AM |
| 1 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationOh absolutely there is still some anger. Probably at myself as much as anything. Still can't believe how naiive I was at one point, still can't believe I allowed some things. No denial here. Reddit can be a bit of a venting place for a lot of us. And hey I've thought occasionally it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone if I can find some time on a Friday off or something while kids are still in school. A painful divorce after 10 years means it takes years to recover from and process things. Plenty o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/24 10:06 PM |
| 1 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationI have no doubt that you're doing the best you can. But there's also quite a bit of evidence in your posts that you lack skills to deal with your own emotions. That's not your fault, someone should've taught you and didn't. There's likely some kind of generational trauma going on. That's why I'd consider seeking professional help for yourself. No offense, and I know you're well meaning but I'm the type of person almost everyone would refer to as stable and easy going. I've had people ask me how … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/24 09:01 PM |
| 5 | This sub is actively being suppressedHence the fact they didn't deserve any further responses. Some people are so far gone and stuff like expecting you to be accountable for some bad apples with such generalizations.. not even any remorse for what happened to the guy here locally. It's like women fudn stuff all the time so why does it a matter a man did? Missing the point of lack of support. Like you said there is zero shortage on the other side. You can't argue with these people they only double down. She obviously hurt. I could h… | /r/MensRights | 28/11/24 04:56 PM |
| 15 | This sub is actively being suppressedActually had a person in another sub criticize the fact I was in here and saying it was gonna poison me, it was a cess pool etc. they really hate it when we support each other.... Used an ex an example who had multiple charges but was into it like somehow that makes us all bad. In her town some big mra tried to kill his wife or something. In my town a dude opened a men's shelter and was ridiculed and no support so shelter went bankrupt and took his own life. I was told big deal women have had to… | /r/MensRights | 28/11/24 03:35 PM |
| 2 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationSo I initially tried the carrot. Her mom actually plans to cut off this friend of hers completely and I dont think that's right even if we have our concerns. Od course I have never told my kid that her mom wanted to do that. The deal was she unpack the three boxes sitting in her room since I moved here a month ago and if she did that her friend could come stay over. She was insisting she needed them for a stand. I said you have a music stand, but excuses about knocking it over. Then came down an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/24 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationYup. I think my stance is I've heard your concerns and understand you are upset. Mom and dad spent an awful lot of time figuring out a schedule and we plan to stick with it for now. We can't change it when parties get upset and we have to work through these things basically and communicate better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/24 04:34 AM |
| 2 | Role of women in creating unhappy childhood and dysfunctional relationshipsShe has been catching onto some things without any prompting in my end. Still got a few things to learn though and unfortunately they do sometimes try to use you against each other | /r/MensRights | 28/11/24 02:00 AM |
| 16 | Role of women in creating unhappy childhood and dysfunctional relationshipsAll you have to do is look at other subs man. I posted about a situation that just happened to me where my kid decided to punish me for locking her tablet for something she did by saying she wanted to spend less nights at my house. The moment she got into my car she said it's because I was a bitch that locked her tablet. I asked so she ewss punishing me and said yes. Then said (there is no way mom wasn't involved) you are gonna have to not be a cheapskate and pay mom more support. Anyways I post… | /r/MensRights | 27/11/24 05:26 PM |
| 3 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationOh yeah the kicker for all that? After trying to make me sound like a bad dad to the mediator and the shelter trip... A few months after she goes overseas to see family and leaves them both with me for a month | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 09:22 AM |
| 6 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationUnfortunately both genetics and parenting are components to cluster B. She was screaming at me, pounding on the wall, and even hit me the other night when I looked her tablet. Tbh it was flashbacks to being with her mom. We are just trying to help her as best we can, but I'm worried about who she may become | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 06:57 AM |
| 7 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationSure but how many know that if I take away two nights in a two week period that you will now have to pay mom more in support? | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 04:55 AM |
| 4 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationFrom her perspective she's retaliating for the fact she lied and did not hold up her end of the bargain when she wanted a friend over and I cut off her device temporarily. Unfortunately that's only part of it. Mom's side seems to have a history of cluster b and my daughter is starting DBT therapy soon... The fact that money was brought up suggests mom is part of this | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 04:30 AM |
| 5 | Oldest kid told me she wants to reduce time with me because I locked her tablet and potential alienationI wish I could say I have any faith in the legal system. When we first split she made false accusations and the only findings from psychologist taking to oldest was essentially mom was alienating children against me. There were zero consequences. In fact in addition mom threw theatrics with a panic attack that sent her to the hospital and when she got out took kids to a shelter. In order to get them out of shelter asap I agreed to move out and had to slowly work my way up from an every other wee… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 04:27 AM |
| 1 | My (ex-)wife and I speedran divorceYeah definitely different in america then. We have shared custody and I still pay her 900+ a month. Essentially just support based on my scheduled amount vs her scheduled amount and offset. Also pay 250+ monthly for extra curricular and medical because its split based on income. Capped some of it because she would have signed them up for something every day of the week, and had at one point | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/24 09:36 PM |
| 6 | My (ex-)wife and I speedran divorceVery telling he felt they cared sn supported for each other but she didn't have the excitement. Happens all the freaking time and is the less important part. It can be fostered, it ebbs and flows and requires work sometimes | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/24 09:18 PM |
| 6 | My (ex-)wife and I speedran divorceIrs too bad she's so set in divorce. Sounds like a pretty healthy situation where a marriage could easily have been salvaged, unlike so many others, including my own. You see, I mistook our caring love—the kind of love you have for someone you deeply respect and value—for being in love. I am in love with her. I feel it in every fiber of my being. But she’s not in love with me. She said it plainly, without malice, just as a simple truth. In all honesty she will repeat it with someone else. The fi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/24 09:13 PM |
| 1 | Why are you angry ?Eh it's legitimate though. I am moving forward as best I can, but it will definitely affect my future. Pretty girl who I connect really well with? Sorry I don't believe in remarriage and you also probably want kids of your own. Don't think I'll ever I know what it feels like to be genuinely loved by a woman. It's also affected my kids.. trying to overcome my ex bad-mouthing me to my oldest and basically teaching her from a young age dad doesn't deserve respect and doesn't know what he's talking … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/24 04:51 PM |
| 2 | Why are you angry ?Eh it's legitimate though. I am moving forward as best I can, but it will definitely affect my future. Pretty girl who I connect really well with? Sorry I don't believe in remarriage and you also probably want kids of your own. It's also affected my kids.. trying to overcome my ex bad-mouthing me to my oldest and basically teaching her from a young age dad doesn't deserve respect and doesn't know what he's talking about. We actually have her in counselling and some concern the personality disord… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/24 04:51 PM |
| 4 | Why are you angry ?She used me for the status, provision, and most notably as a sperm donor then basically admitted I was always a project that didn't pan out. I believe marriage is a one time thing so she basically wasted my shot at it. Also wasted my prime years, resources, sanity, and would have rather had kids with someone who actually genuinely loved me. Mostly mad at myself though for not seeing who she was | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/24 05:50 AM |
| 7 | You're invited - Opening of new Calgary men's shelter on IMD 2024Amazing. I would actually go if I didn't have my kids tomorrow night. I still remember the sad story of the guy who had opened one before but took his life due to lack of support and ridicule and it shut down | /r/MensRights | 18/11/24 08:26 PM |
| 2 | Parental AlienationLawyers don't generally care. My ex tried to embellish a couple things to make me sound abusive. They said this crap happens all the time from moms. We will get a psychologist to talk to oldest. If it leads to nothing she will be in deep crap..Psych was some young girl who refused to point any fingers but if you read between trh lines mom was telling kids.how she has to pay me all this money (she kept the fully paid off house....) and mentioned alienation I think, but didn't name who (literally … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/24 02:40 AM |
| 6 | Women get “violent” when ugly dudes approach them. What happened to the narrative of “All men care about is looks and getting laid?”Can't win man. Reality is everybody cares about looks. It's entirely possible manh of them have inflated sense of self in that regard. People also silly to think just because you're a 6 you aren't allowed to shoot for an 8. Also cant win because you're either not confident enough or apparently you ask everyone like it's no big deal. I'm 38 (was married for about 10 of those and a few years of nasty divorce). I have probably only ever actually asked out like half a dozen people in my life. Attitu… | /r/MensRights | 15/11/24 07:17 PM |
| 18 | Does anybody else enjoy watching transwomen expose some of the BS around women's sports?Because men have a much higher amount of testosterone one average as well as differences in lung capacity, hand size, height, bone density, etc. it's a huge advantage. Pretty sure women would not be happy if they had to compete with men... Have you ever played sports much? The reason people don't get upset about trans men competing with the CIS men is because they're generally at a disadvantage. That's trh whole point. A person is welcome to change their physiology and take hormones that give th… | /r/MensRights | 15/11/24 06:40 PM |
| 29 | Does anybody else enjoy watching transwomen expose some of the BS around women's sports?Actually lately I'm seeing an awful lot of damage control on that front. Our local government banned trans athletes from women's sports. I said it made sense and got downvoted like crazy. There are apparently some studies out there that claim after two years of hrt their strength is about the same as other women. You can point out bone density, height, hand size, lung capacity etc. But tends to fall in deaf ears. Some things might be reversible but not all. And then it gets complicated if they d… | /r/MensRights | 15/11/24 05:25 PM |
| 11 | I was thrown in prison because I had consensual sex with my girlfriend.That's odd... Most places have a leeway of at least a couple of years... Otherwise you could be same age but your birthday is six months earlier.... Never heard of someone being prosecuted that was within a couple years of each other | /r/MensRights | 09/11/24 10:09 PM |
| 9 | My ex is still a psycho and it's validatingOccasionally I will go I to an old notebook of mine or be deleting oldest emails and see shit I had forgotten about and like holy crap... I can't believe she did thst to me.. and I swear half of it I had literally just suppressed in my memory. I occasionally compare notes in a bpd group and it's validating how similar some of.it is even without an official diagnosis | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/24 04:19 PM |
| 4 | Wife suggesting we won’t make it as a married couple. All because of Trump.Kinda evil to want to make you choose between her or your family. I think best you can do is try and shield your wife if anybody there things come up with family and generally try to shut down any political discussions. Not sure if you have done that. I dunno. My ex was always acting like I didn't defend her enough or threw her unde the bus odd time around family, but she had major insecurities and I'm sure bpd. Definitely see if therapy is an option. she needs to realize things are intense righ… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/24 04:28 PM |
| 7 | Wife suggesting we won’t make it as a married couple. All because of Trump.It's absolutely wild. Aaw another sub where someone said they were leaving their wife because she supported trump and voted for him. Not only is it a stupid thing to lett get between you, but it's a knee jerk reaction. Life goes on. Do they not realize he will only be president for four years? Sad thing is people were defending them and saying I shouldn't question it lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/24 04:22 PM |
| 2 | Are These Victory Meltdowns Real?Yeah I consider myself more of s centrist with don't traditional views and beliefs (honestly find being reasonable isn't acceptable these days, have to be one extreme or the other). I find trump very divisive and have my concerns.. also think he will screw over our economy in Canada somewhat. But yeah it's way too much drama. Id have to assume they aren't the most well adjusted people with some serious emotional regulation issues s d possible mental health issues. Yes it can v sorta entertaining… | /r/MensRights | 07/11/24 05:30 AM |
| 1 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyI guess my answer to your original question is that no, I haven't made anything that's easier. Having small group and people who care about me has actually.. but yeah like you I still struggle a few times a year with porn/masturbation. Slowly going longer between. Prayer and keeping busy. I'm most vulnerable when I'm anxious and bored (if I don't have enough work) while working from home completely alone. While I miss sex it's not even the hardest part. A lot of it is feeling desired and being s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 05:37 PM |
| 1 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyEach man needs to make his own decision and pray about it in the case of faith. Not here to debate scripture, but this I’ve poured over the scriptures and it’s just not clear. Is hard to accept personally. Jesus and Paul leave very little to interpretation except for maybe the fornication clause in Mathew. Hard to accept? Yes I get that (even disciples saying this is the case it's better bit to marry).. must be some other explanation...but clear? Seems very to me.. brutally blunt even Doesn't me… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 04:57 PM |
| 1 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyI just don't see any leeway in interpretation..several verses point to the same thing. Only kinda loophole might be if they cheat (some debate on that). it seem pretty clear to me marriage is a one time deal. Anything else just kinda feels like cherry picking on my part. Sometimes having faith can be really inconvenient and that's kinda where you put your money where your mouth is. Are you only going to follow it when it works for you and not when it may cause some heartache? I still do think th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 03:27 PM |
| 2 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyI'm in the same boat. I'm also a person if faith. I decided when it was clear she was likely leaving we would fix it or I'd remain single. There was no greener pastures for me. I didn't believe that would be consistent with the idea of one flesh and I also searched scriptures, which to me confirmed remarriage was off limits. It's a one time deal and joined until one dies. Like you I also went through hell and almost lost my identity and sanity so I was pretty cool with that. Also my focus was my… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 02:51 PM |
| 4 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyWhat you're talking about with one flesh was always the early concept of marriage. 'For this reason a man and a woman shall leave their mother and father and the two shall become one flesh' That WAS marriage. The official paperwork and that came later | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 02:39 PM |
| 2 | How did you go about "reinventing" yourself after divorce?Yup. Mine had bpd (still cluster b, all have similarities and overlap) and yeah. I almost forgot who I was and it was time to go back to.the old me, get back into old hobbies, reconnect with old friends and even a sister she drove away (although we did connect anytime she was away) lol. No organised therapy other than the martial one. No time tnad too expensive, but family friends, gym, etc. has helped. I dunno I prob should look into it more anyways. I'm sure it's not all 100% dealt with. Still… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 11:43 PM |
| 1 | It is said that 90% of success for relationships can be attributed to selection. Do you agree?Yeah pretty much the same..I had one long distance thing and one short relationship locally that barely counts. As friends she was a lot of fun a s seemed really caring, but did seem to like attention (red flag #1). Was great dating at first, then went to visit her abusive mom (red flag #2 was very screwed up family situation). When she came back she seemed different and her reaction to stuff was unhinged. I actually thought she was just depressed and that's what a mentor told me and that his wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/24 03:34 PM |
| 1 | men are not a team.For some worthy causes yes or would be nice to get together. On the other hand in glad we don't blindly back each other and are willing to hold each other accountable | /r/MensRights | 01/11/24 08:43 PM |
| 9 | Women making excuses for a child murdererIt's also a real thing in fathers but we don't really let them off the hook for it | /r/MensRights | 01/11/24 01:31 PM |
| 7 | Women making excuses for a child murdererYeah I saw that thread... Here is a relevant fact "1 in 10 men experience postpartum depression compared to 1 in 7 women. Women usually see peak symptoms around months two to three while men usually peak later in the first year. Men tend to show more anger and risk-taking behaviors while women tend to display crying, hopelessness, loss of interest and guilt." When was the last time a dad did something awful and anyone said it might have been PPD? | /r/MensRights | 01/11/24 01:29 PM |
| 4 | If you knew these signs would you still be divorced?Yeah I did my best too. Basically left it all on the table. Nothing left to give. doesn't mean I never got angry or said hurtful things occasionally. Everyone says I did everything I could have possibly done and that I did everything for her. She was just a restless person who nothing is ever good enough. Always moving furniture always changing preschools for kids, couldn't keep friends, etc. I was willing to work with her if she was willing to give me even an ounce and that's basically what I s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 01:05 AM |
| 2 | If you knew these signs would you still be divorced?Yeah mine spouted it was my job to make her happy, how I was supposed to be her best friend along with all these other things. I remember her saying as the man of the household if her or kids ever got in trouble for something I was responsible for it by default etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 12:34 AM |
| 2 | If you knew these signs would you still be divorced?Unfortunately it's looking like it might have passed to my daughter. I tried not to jump to top many conclusions but even the ex and her bf suspect it. Getting her some help and doing some DBT. Don't diagnose it until adulthood.. hoping for the best and trying to be as good a dad I can.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 12:32 AM |
| 8 | If you knew these signs would you still be divorced?Yeah without a doubt . Heck a lot of that stuff was present early in the marriage, but she subdued it til she got kids out of it. In terms of fights she never gave up on those. She was just never satisfied with anything and had a lot of childhood trauma and baggage she never dealt with and blamed any unhappiness or unsatisfaction in life on me.. eventually got tired of always accepting I was thr cause of all of life's problems and got counsellors involved suspecting she would just point the fing… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/24 08:17 PM |
| 4 | Exwife lied to child supporyId normally agree but at some point you do need to draw the line. That's want so awful about the process. It punishes the party that is more 'reasonable'. Yes it becomes too expensive to fight every battle, but you also run the risk of tje part where if you're not willing lose some money to stop some nonsense they will just keep pushing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 09:34 PM |
| 87 | Why are women so focused on controlling their boyfriends free time?Yeah my ex wife was exactly that way. Even told me at one point that every hobby should be something to better myself (meanwhile she binged Netflix from the moment I came home from work to bedtime). As someone else said it's control, it's wanting you to be wealthy so they don't have to lift a finger. It's also why I laugh at passport bros who idealize Asian women and think they're all submissive and traditional. Spent enough time over there myself to know it's all bs lol | /r/MensRights | 22/10/24 01:11 PM |
| 3 | Wife with Borderline Personality DisorderYou are worried she may try to take the kids. Depending on what country she is from she can't do that. Look up the Hague convention. There are extradition rules, but generally you have rights to your kids as well. The grey area is if they are some third world country that hasn't signed the Hague convention then it's more tricky. If they ever cross a border though they would be arrested for child abduction. Had some similar fears myself. May be worth talking to someone who specializes in internat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 01:45 PM |
| 2 | Getting ddivorced, did you find anyone betterYeah my ex just wanted to.be married and have kids. Was pretty telling that she basically wanted out the second she was done with kids. It took me years to realize it,.but I only got out of the friend zone because when I dated the other girl she missed the attention I was giving her and jealous for it.. I also realize her clock was ticking. She was so impulsive in some ways and yet calculating in others it was like well he is decent enough and will take good care of me. Resentment settled in pre… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Getting ddivorced, did you find anyone betterYup I realized the grass was greener.. when I only.had to.worry about and answer to myself. I've got responsibility to my kids now so that'll keep me busy enough | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 02:38 AM |
| 1 | After divorce living situation?Heck if they actually have extra bedrooms for the kids it's great just to have an extra person around if they enjoy time with your kids. Would love to have family nearby. It can be tough managing to get all my hours at work in while doing pick ups, drop offs, dinner etc. Lucky to work from home and still work extra hours on some days to make it all work | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 06:53 PM |
| 6 | Is it worth getting married?There are three main reasons to cohabitate (whether you out want to call it married or not.. some jurisdictions don't have any real difference) Feel good hormones and secure safe sex - can also change very quickly.. personally it's the only place for sex morally,.but if that's not an issue it may actually be worse in a marriage Raising a family - I personally think kids should ideally be raised in a secure marriage where there is that commitment Financial - risk/reward, things are easier with tw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/24 04:58 PM |
| 1 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?Yeah I got comfort that I tried what I could. I maintained the stance I'm willing to work with her as long as she's willing to work with me and I maintained that right til the end. There was a fair bit of validating what I kinda knew about her and that I wasn't crazy | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 03:27 AM |
| 2 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?Yeah I had a pretty good feeling not much would change. She spent the whole marriage blaming everything on me and I was constantly being told I should be more like this and less like that. I realized eventually it couldn't possibly all be my fault and that her goal posts always moved. I was starting to realize she just never accepted me for who I was. I basically threw my hands up and said you know what I can't just try harder, it's not working, let's go do counselling and if you still feel like… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 03:25 AM |
| 2 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?That sounds pretty familiar but I'm 99% sure she's got bpd. She'd also go on huge emotional rants where she'd have to be cut off. They'd tell her things like try without using this language and or course she's do it anyways. They ask her like name something positive and she'd act like it was agonizing like she couldn't possibly think of anything. I wasn't a fan at that point either but that's not that hard of a question. She just went to tell them how I'm flawed and need to be fixed. They weren'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 02:38 AM |
| 1 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?Yeah I think it's good for your own piece of mind and not having any potential regrets. I remember we went to one and she decided well we can't agree eto disagree on this one minor issue so I'm gone.never was very cooperative in sessions. chruch said can you try one more we will pay and we know a good one. He was good and he held her to account even though again she didn't do the homework or anything.. then after a few sessions she basically said my doc said my health is bad, its all the fault o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 02:30 AM |
| 3 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?Lmao that's golden. I know my ex would try to talk over ours and he had to hush her a few times. Would also tell her things like well when you go 0-100 on him with the wall of anger and basically say f you then he has nowhere to go to try and meet you where you're at.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 02:27 AM |
| 90 | UK: Prison isn’t working for women, Labour says, as it unveils plans for alternativesBe curious what metrics they are supposedly using to determine if its working. Then apply the same to men... People have had their concerns about prison system for decades and it's not about gender. Question is always rehabilitation vs punishment and how that looks. If they really think there is a better way that's actually going to still have accountability and consequences and hopefully have better outcomes with reintegration than I'm all ears, but for both men and women. Unfortunately some pe… | /r/MensRights | 24/09/24 06:28 PM |
| 10 | Ex wife threatening to "file a motion to re-open" Default with agreementPart of the agreement is generally to waive any rights to go back and ask for more..the only exception is if there was some actual error made by the lawyers or who wrote it and it has to be like waiving a right you aren't legally allowed to waive or a lawyer making a huge error in omitting something. You can't go back and just say well I want more | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/24 06:23 PM |
| 2 | Did anyone else see sock day as a huge relief?Was for me. I spent years basically kissing her ass and constantly trying to either be the idealized version she had of me or trying to convince her I was good enough. I eventually decided her expectations weren't realistic and that we would do some counselling and if she still felt that way she could leave but I was too tired and couldn't put in any more effort than I was (I've given her all she's got captain!). Basically just needed her to at least meet me a little ways if not half way. To no … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/24 07:32 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone else feel their divorce makes any conventional relationship impossible?Yeah my ex had rich family and I was always uncomfortable getting large gifts so she kept the house and I just took a bit for it plus my savings. Thing is like four years after divorce she still hadn't even looked for a job. First year we had hunkered down together during covid but then thtre years later finally getting custody srr at 50/50 and we say we will inpute 32k (min wage full time here) and suddenly shows up with an offer from her bf clinic for that exact amount 20 hrs a week. Whatever … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 08:02 AM |
| 1 | Does anyone else feel their divorce makes any conventional relationship impossible?That sucks man..my ex also tried to poison them against me for a while. Even just the other day my oldest was like mom would probably be rich or you didn't force her to stay home. I'm like I def didn't. She got laid off.not long after marriage and didn't bother looking..she was unemployed for at least a year before you were born..she's.like oh... I'm like why would she be rich? She works in marketing.. that's a normal job, she was working for a non profit before we married... But yeah she's clue… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 12:38 AM |
| -8 | Mom drowns her own sonYeah I'm with you on this. This will be the second similar thread I'll be downvoted on. Woman commits heinous crime against a poor child, gets posted as some kind of gender issue. I don't get it. Should feminist subs post every instance of a man committing a crime? Quality of posts going downhill imo..it would be different if it was look at what this woman did a d look at the slap on the wrist. Or if it was a woman who didn't want a son specifically or something.. but just taking a tragedy that … | /r/MensRights | 21/09/24 04:17 PM |
| 3 | Does anyone else feel their divorce makes any conventional relationship impossible?Right now I’m hovering between feeling suffocated by the gf (ex gf?) and fearing I will die alone. You have kids.. so it there is any warning surely they will be around you during those final days. There are plenty of married people who "die alone" where it's either sudden when they're not at home or their spouse died first. Imo don't live decades of your life with the worry of his the final moments may end. Don't forget the other family you have and other relationships/friendships in your life … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 03:35 PM |
| 2 | Divorced 1.5 yr UpdateToo bad ozempic didn't work that well for my dad. He could lose some weight .he just felt so gassy and bloated all the time and couldn't take feeling that way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/24 04:25 AM |
| 0 | Women get worse medical treatment than men?I've heard this before and there could be some truth to it simply because men are known not to go to the doctor until something is really wrong. Irs funny because the same people talking about women not being taken as seriously are probably the same people who say men benefit from marriage more. Id you get into it they will say married men live longer because their wives push them to actually see doctors and wouldn't on their own. Like you can't have it both ways here. Id you admit men don't go … | /r/MensRights | 19/09/24 04:40 AM |
| 3 | Married men should never buy a house; always rent from your parentsOr cohabitate. Yeah only way to truly cover your bases | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 03:02 AM |
| 2 | Married men should never buy a house; always rent from your parentsYeah chances are at some point you will be bothered about moving etc. It's also not that common a newly wed can afford a vig house. I remember starting in a little condo then we moved into a little house before our first and a bigger house after the second. It's even worse now for affordability | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 03:00 AM |
| 3 | Anyone’s ex-wives kidnap their kids and run out of state?Definitely worth a try. Could never get my ex to use it, but it's been fine lately. First she wanted to use a slightly different app then it was that it didn't work with her phone etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/24 01:30 PM |
| 8 | What were the ethnicity/race of your ex-wives?Chinese/spanish (supposedly... Honestly likely Filipino.. that's where the father's other family was and last name is common there, not in Spain like she was told he was. The family is racist against Filipinos).. Grew up with chinese side who lived between Malaysia/Singapore. Honestly the women in the family were all very controlling and only one actually stayed with her husband. Guys were chill but dominated by their wives..very matriarchal family. Awful tempers and egos. I sorta laugh when i s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/24 06:47 PM |
| 12 | The real reason why women stop loving menLiterally what happened to me. One thing about her bpd self is that she was actually honest at times..Even admitted she married a decent guy to hoping she'd grow to love him..Was always trying to change me.. even stuff like my introverted side and tried to take someone that didn't like conflict into her attack dog. Was also trying to get me to do more education and wanted me to move to her home country and has this whole idea if work for her rich uncle etc .. Grossly enough when I asked why she … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/24 03:15 PM |
| 1 | How much did you spend on your divorce?That is eventually what it was heading to as we were going n the med/ARB process. Our finances actually went smoothly and wanted to just go right into arbitration but since she made us change people the new one didn't want to just jump right into it. (alternative was get a ruling but have to wait a year to attend expensive court to find out if that one was thrown off and have to do it again) | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/24 01:40 AM |
| 2 | How much did you spend on your divorce?Was about 80k I think, but that's also Canadian. She did the whole trying to make me sound abusive, which ende duo just having a psychologist talj to my oldest and everything was fine. They didn't seem to care that there was findings of alienation from her side. Also she switched lawyers a couple times (so she spent over 100k) and strong armed us into agreeing to a new mediator/arbitrator. One meeting we met all day and had most stuff agreed except for a disparity on some numbers. Never did agre… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/24 01:34 AM |
| 10 | Ok to go through life as a single dad?Been over four years since I've been out. Zero desire to date or anything. Not even sure I'd have the time if I wanted. Maybe I'll feel different once I have an empty nest but it's my intention to remain this way | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/24 01:21 AM |
| 4 | Did anyone end up being Happy their Wife Divorced them?Yeah I was sad for my kids, but relieved personally and a lot of lost time to make up for, things I wanted to do with my newfound freedom. Taking my wedding ring off felt like taking off cuffs or something like that (don't know that part from experience) | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 01:25 PM |
| 6 | “The spark is gone” is a poor reason to leave a marriage.Basically hit the nail on the head It kinda boggles your mind though. I get that Disney and romance material is somewhat at fault for brainwashing... But if you think about it logically even for a minute its actually pretty much common sense that after you've been with someone for several years or more things are going to become familiar and/or routine.... The air of mystery and the excitement of trying to anticipate is gone..it's normal and it's ok. Just like real long term friendships aren't e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 01:33 AM |
| 9 | Why do many men lack self worth so much?I believe you will find plenty of supporting info about you g people in general struggling more with mental health. We are so connected by devices but have less personal connection. I would say guys often have less support and pressure to keep it to yourself | /r/MensRights | 03/09/24 07:05 PM |
| 4 | Getting back with ex wife after a dirvorceExactly. Except I don't miss anything about her. I got a pretty good feeling who she was years before divorce. Realized I wouldn't even have wanted to be friends with the real her | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 06:23 AM |
| 2 | Yes. All $40k/month definitely gonna be spent on the child 🤡. Fellas, choose your partner wisely if you are gonna put that ring.Yup hand in hand. A lot of time mote problems for periods of feel good hormones | /r/MensRights | 31/08/24 10:54 PM |
| 4 | Yes. All $40k/month definitely gonna be spent on the child 🤡. Fellas, choose your partner wisely if you are gonna put that ring.Often not worth the cost | /r/MensRights | 31/08/24 10:50 PM |
| 5 | "Happier After Divorce"Sorry dude. Some people really get the short end of.the stick in life. You spend time in frustration trying to make sense of stuff like this and what you did to deserve it,.how you did everything "right" most of.the time, how it's not fair. At some point you realize a lot of stuff just isn't fair And there is no making sense of it no matter how hard you try. Unfortunately you make the best of what you have and hope somehow it's enough and/or will get better. I was privileged in many ways and it … | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 07:48 PM |
| 2 | "Happier After Divorce"Sounds great. Yeah guess the odd session wouldn't hurt. Have to look into it. Not always that easy to access these days in Alberta... A lot of need I think. Hopefully you'll get to the place where you can sorta laugh at the new guy. I feel sorry for my ex new bf and my kid has made comments to reinforce that even saying she felt sorry for him at times (not by any suggestions on my part) | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:43 PM |
| 15 | Yes. All $40k/month definitely gonna be spent on the child 🤡. Fellas, choose your partner wisely if you are gonna put that ring.Better yet don't cohabitate period. Your home should be a quiet sanctuary imo. I'd rather not bring extra problems into it | /r/MensRights | 31/08/24 06:32 PM |
| 1 | "Happier After Divorce"Hage you done any counselling post divorce? I was so relieved initially and did a lot of venting and thought it was enough. I forget her when I'm not dealing with co-parenting.. yet I've stalled in the sense I still desk with anxiety and it hurts my focus with work.. I also think I still have self anger that I wasted so much in someone like her. The cost and time have given me pause, but sometimes wonder if I should consider it | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:24 PM |
| 8 | "Happier After Divorce"I wouldn't say I'm not struggling... I'm MORE happy than I was being in a marriage with an abusive personality, but I've got a long ways to get to where I was before I got involved with her. Four years later and still recovering from the stuff I had to deal with. I was a fairly content person with little worries until I got married. It brought so many constant problems and worries. Everything had to be a crisis. I struggle with anxiety now after the fact. I do wish I could give my children a com… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:04 PM |
| 9 | Why is it that when a man doesn't want to be with a girl that has a high body count he is "insecure", but when a woman doesn't like a man because he's short, it's her "preference"I actually said it was a preference in the other thread. Not gonna force people to change their minds. The girl in the video and manu posters acting like you have three heads I'd you have that preference or that you are blaming women somehow. That they're making it harder to find a partner etc. that you're ruling someone out for one thing..heck anything can be a deal breaker. Dunno why it needs to be justified. All I could think with this one girl telling me this is that people are right when th… | /r/MensRights | 31/08/24 04:11 PM |
| 2 | Why is it that when a man doesn't want to be with a girl that has a high body count he is "insecure", but when a woman doesn't like a man because he's short, it's her "preference"Apparently we control it a lot more in Canada... However we also but a lot of produce from America | /r/MensRights | 31/08/24 03:50 PM |
| 43 | Why is it that when a man doesn't want to be with a girl that has a high body count he is "insecure", but when a woman doesn't like a man because he's short, it's her "preference"For thousands of years it was simply common sense. It's only very recent and mostly in west and odd Asian country where there has been a big push to normalize it. It's pretty natural to have conderns if someone is promiscuous.. the worst is seeing guys repeating insecure line. Means they allowed themselves to be programmed or shamed into it. You don't start out thinking it's perfectly fine. That takes programming/shaming. Just ask them if they'd be ok with their 18 year old daughter hooking up e… | /r/MensRights | 31/08/24 07:09 AM |
| 2 | I won my parental alienation caseCurious what the outcome is. My ex tried to make me out to be abusive, kid talked to psychiatrist, not only did things turn up okz but evidence of alienation documented. Nothing happened though | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 06:51 PM |
| 1 | Does your ex still haunt your dreams?Honestly no. She might have appeared in one dream since she left four years ago. For that first year and a bit of second I did have dreams about the first girl I ever loved I'm high school. The one that got away. I think my brain was going back to a simpler, less traumatic time. I've been told the brain can do that in response to trauma. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 02:05 PM |
| 2 | Woman receives $1200 child support on a 50/50 custody from her ex husband… she also complains that it’s not a fair amount.Well in her case it's true that she has a bf that hangs around a lot and helps her in many ways. Some are truly single and have to do it all, but not her and many others. When you have to work full time and no one else to help before and after work it's a lot more difficult | /r/MensRights | 28/08/24 01:44 PM |
| 9 | Woman receives $1200 child support on a 50/50 custody from her ex husband… she also complains that it’s not a fair amount.I'd expect for the average single mom it's not enough to live on and they need to get a job. Being a single parent is generally tough working hard to make ends meet while somehow picking up and dropping off kids and finding time to get errands done. She has no idea what it's like being a single mom because of rich family and not having to work (doing a little bit here and there for.her bf now).also.had exchange students in that huge house that were like live in baby sitters | /r/MensRights | 28/08/24 04:21 AM |
| 29 | Woman receives $1200 child support on a 50/50 custody from her ex husband… she also complains that it’s not a fair amount.Child support in Canada is purely done like table amounts. I can find out the support amount myself just going tons website that has the formula. Punch in my income and hers and whether or not it's shared or not..if I'm at 35% custody her income basically counts as 0, if I'm 40 or more it's an offset (which is why we inputted income. She held me at exactly 35% for a little while after working my way up.. even went back in a verbal agreement for months because we had other past expenses in agreem… | /r/MensRights | 27/08/24 10:07 PM |
| 95 | Woman receives $1200 child support on a 50/50 custody from her ex husband… she also complains that it’s not a fair amount.Yeah I pay just over 900 for my two kids. This is down from almost 1300 because we were going to inpute an income and suddenly her bf has a 30k salary job for her to work half time in his clinic. Would have been 1400 with my recent raise before we inputted actually. I also pay 240 for section 7 expenses (extra curricular split 75/25). Any meds or little school fees for kids on top 75/25. It sucks. She's in a nice but house totally paid due to rich family. I'm struggling to find a decent little t… | /r/MensRights | 27/08/24 08:17 PM |
| 22 | A study shows there is a strong link between women initiating violence and getting hurt in turnYeah I was fortunate. My ex used to basically corner me during arguments. Try to block me physically when I'd go to cool off, Id be like excuse me and squeeze my way through and she would say you're pushing me or call me a coward. The scary thing is when I was driving if the argument went on a bit she'd just slap me as I'm driving and I'd repeatedly tell her keep your damn hands off of me. I remember also saying one of these times I'm gonna lose my patience and of course it was well I'd just cal… | /r/MensRights | 23/08/24 04:19 PM |
| 3 | Red flags - avoid them not so easy.Yeah I married someone who's father left because he actually had another family, who's mother was a narcissist who was abusive and as kids they had to stop their mother from jumping out the window. Somehow I thought she might be ok, did have some extreme reactions to things. Also a long difficult marriage, good enough to give me hope for a bit where we had kids. Also seemed to have that pattern where a lot of her problems in life were self inflicted aside from childhood. Also a risk taker. What … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 04:10 PM |
| 7 | Blindsided AGAINMy wife has been only letting me have the kids one night a week because her lawyer says if she's uncomfortable with me seeing kids then don't let me have them Which is basically contradictory. He's violent and abusive towards them so I'm only going to let him abuse them one night a week! My ex tried crap like that too.. had a psychologist talj to the oldest. Mainly just found she was trying to alienate them but no consequences. Also once summer came she wanted to see her grandma and I wasn't com… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 08:52 PM |
| 1 | Women are illogical episode #1Yeah I realize is have been far better off it I'd remained single in many ways. I just wish I could have also had my kids somehow lol. Best most ideal case would have been just focusing on myself until someone came along that just thought I was amazing, I felt the same, and we got together. instead I was always chasing after someone I thought was amazing and trying to convince them I was too.. instead I ended up with someone I was originally in the friend zone with, thought I got out (in reality… | /r/MensRights | 21/08/24 06:29 PM |
| 2 | Women are illogical episode #1Yeah mgtow is the answer. Who wants to game anyone? Anytime I hear about people having game and stuff it just sounds like too much work and/or trying to put on a show just to gain interest based on something you're not. If I ever dated again they'd have to be just as interested in me or more from the get go without having to jump through hoops. My ex wife wasn't even interested until I dated someone else and resulted in someone who married me based on some idealized version of who I could be wit… | /r/MensRights | 21/08/24 03:55 PM |
| 3 | Have you ever mourned a wife that never existed?Yeah you're in a whirlwind and I have no idea what that's like. I had years to basically think it what life would be like when she inevitably left. By the time it happened and I'd gotten some of trb grieving out of the way. It's just the aftermath that sucks and years or being mad at myself feeling like such an idiot and all thr years gone with someone who never appreciated me that much. I'm also a person of faith who believes marriage is a one time thing so when I see a beautiful lady who I kno… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/24 07:42 PM |
| 3 | Have you ever mourned a wife that never existed?Wow that's a pretty crazy series if events. Mine was a lot more gradual than that. She was a bit crazy early in our marriage including having cops come out once for something stupid. Things seemed to get better for a while, enough to have kids and all, but always had her crazy outbursts. I realIed eventually she really did see the world differently than most people and remembered events different than reality (often more just how she felt and events got made up from there often twisted). At the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/24 07:15 PM |
| 1 | Who do you put as "emergency contact"?I put my sister if it's for me. She is about 20 mins outside of town. I would probably put a friend if no family nearby. I'd probably have the conversation with them first saying in general I'd like to use them and make sure they have a few numbers of a couple key family members. Just maybe a primary and backup if can't be reached and they can let the rest of family know if something drastic happens | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/24 04:21 PM |
| 18 | What do you think people usually get wrong about you and your divorce?Anyone that knows my ex has a decent idea of why the divorce was so contested. I was the one late to the party lol Actually one buddy I'll always have huge respect for in the way he handled it. Had been a little out of touch with him and he called me up. He's like I heard the bad news that you guys are splitting. She posts a bunch of stuff but I just wanted to hear from you what's going on. Then he's like yeah I kinda had a feeling that was the case, some of.us were uncomfortable with how she ta… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/24 04:08 PM |
| 5 | What do you think people usually get wrong about you and your divorce?Yup. It's actually pretty hard to get all my hours in for my work day (work 9 hour days 44/36 schedule ) and I'm very fortunate I can be flexible and work from home. No idea how people did it before. I guess $$$$ as people will look after them early and late or you pay enough | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/24 04:07 PM |
| 6 | After 49 years. I think maybe I'd rather be alone.I hear ya. I caught on eventually that my ex was never that crazy about me either. Always felt she did didn't care as much about the relationship as I was and more willing to just bail. Things seemed to improve at times just long enough to have kids then went off the rails. Admitted she saw me as a decent guy she hoped she'd grow to love. Us guys fall so hard for them.. and often never receive that type of love back. Or at least I don't know what it looks like..never been in the receiving end. D… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/24 07:06 PM |
| 9 | Woman makes husband get a vasectomy against his will. Then divorces him and he finds out it isn’t reversibleUnfortunate he let her pressure him into getting one. They did give it a few years before deciding to do so, which is what I would have suggested.. you definitely don't plan on divorce and having kids with someone else. If he actually does he's a lot braver than I'd be after a divorce. He will be potentially paying enough for one kid and suffering with only seeing them half time or less. Wouldn't want to do that with another person | /r/MensRights | 12/08/24 04:06 PM |
| 2 | What’s the best place to spend a week worth of vacation during a divorce?Their new pussy? What happened to their old one? Or were they a man? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/24 06:58 PM |
| 14 | Batshit crazy article in The New York TimesI meant the shift at the club, but yeah I'm assuming at that point she ended up there | /r/MensRights | 09/08/24 09:14 PM |
| 147 | Batshit crazy article in The New York TimesBonus points when it's 7am... That seems like more than just a little after party doesn't it? How many hours would that have even been since her shift ended? I generally don't know. I'd assume even I'm those types of places they still close at 2am or something? It's NYC so I dunno. A rich businessman type either stayed up to 7am, and drugs and sex were definitely involved or he went to bed at some point and she didn't leave when her job was over... | /r/MensRights | 09/08/24 05:48 PM |
| 13 | Women calling you a manipulator for not letting them manipulate you, will always be crazy to me.She took advantage of the fact I was really inexperienced in relationships. Gas lighted me into thinking I just didn't know how to treat a woman in a relationship, that her expectations were perfectly reasonable, that a lot of these things you just do, etc. always had me on my heels thinking I wasnt measuring up..maybe in the very beginning there was some truth to it, but eventually I was bending over backwards and it still was never enough. She just treated me even worse | /r/MensRights | 09/08/24 04:34 PM |
| 22 | Women calling you a manipulator for not letting them manipulate you, will always be crazy to me.My ex was already on her way out, but one of the final nails in the coffin was when she realized I'd had enough and wasn't going to be guilted into things or going along with things for the sake of peace. Id woken up to her manipulation. Man she sure wasn't happy when she saw some messages about me and my buddy joking about her controlling ways | /r/MensRights | 09/08/24 04:16 PM |
| 11 | Have you considered celibacy?Yeah I only ever planned to have sex with one woman. Granted I'm a person of faith too. Marriage was always for life. Even when she was ready to leave I'd determined we'd fix things or I'd stay celibate and single. I never believed in hookups or desired it. I don't think I could ever be vulnerable like that unless I was close to them. My experience with relationships or even just chasing after someone is they've always been a net negative. I realize maybe I'm prone to drawing the wrong types as … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 11:28 PM |
| 2 | The poor guy :( . The defination of I am okay with settling downI wouldn't really call either of them weak. Just a lot of patience and not confrontational. Takes some strength imo. I think we often get that backwards where we see confrontation and short fuse as strength which is often compensating for something. Unfortunately we are ina. Society where manipulative types will take advantage of people's good nature though and the women who are more domineering and combative are seen as strong and empowered. My mom was actually very quiet and patient, a peace m… | /r/MensRights | 08/08/24 03:52 PM |
| 3 | The poor guy :( . The defination of I am okay with settling downWell I can answer personally. Spent most of it trying to still win the heart or my wife. Non stop trying to prove my value. A lot of drama, everything was a crisis. Had periods where I actually thought things were going good, but generally ended after we bought a new house or she got pregnant. After she had second kid she pretty much took the mask off and admitted she shouldn't have married me (she actually framed it more like I somehow forced her to marry me, no accountability) but I seemed lik… | /r/MensRights | 08/08/24 01:54 PM |
| 8 | The poor guy :( . The defination of I am okay with settling downAt least he's finding it out during dating phase. Mine was obvious enough after she was done with kids and shut ot all down. Realized only time I could ever do anything right in her eyes was when she wanted something. Turns out if they're not that attracted resentment comes in after settling. Admitted I was a decent guy she hoped she'd grow to love. Also didn't go for our black friend, who started showing up again (she actually is dating this other doctor now) cause black and Asians according to… | /r/MensRights | 08/08/24 01:38 PM |
| 9 | The poor guy :( . The defination of I am okay with settling downI guess one good thing about bpd is my ex essentially admitted it at the end | /r/MensRights | 08/08/24 01:35 PM |
| 3 | The poor guy :( . The defination of I am okay with settling downA lot of us through first hand experience and then feeling sorry for some of the others we know that are in bad marriages | /r/MensRights | 08/08/24 01:32 PM |
| 5 | The poor guy :( . The defination of I am okay with settling downIt mostly depends on the individuals. My ex wife lost her job 6-12 months after marriage and never bothered looking again. She sent both kids to preschool 3 days a week I think it was yet every time I got back from work she was supposedly tired and went upstairs on laptop and said they're yours basically, dinner is on the stove. My day didn't stop til they were in bed unless she had other household projects for me to do | /r/MensRights | 08/08/24 01:31 PM |
| 19 | The poor guy :( . The defination of I am okay with settling downI don't think you understand quite how some of them think. I literally married one who basically threw in the towel after she was done with kids, always trying to change me, and admitted she married hoping she'd grow to love me, but never happened. She married me because she thought I was a decent guy, time to settle down (and her clock was ticking) | /r/MensRights | 08/08/24 01:24 PM |
| 2 | I’m kind of shocked society isn’t talking about how common “back up boyfriends” areYeah it's not all of them. I'd just say it's more common to see with women. You could argue because they're more in demand, more likely to less idealistic in relationships, rise with social media, but boils down to certain ones and unfortunately more common than you might think | /r/MensRights | 07/08/24 08:11 PM |
| 13 | I’m kind of shocked society isn’t talking about how common “back up boyfriends” areFunny enough I was visiting my sister the other day. She brought up the fact our other sister always had a backup plan and other times even cheated on current guys with old exes. I remember a time where she was already hanging around with the new guy before she left the old one. What I didn't remember that she reminded me about was when she brought a guy back from college who she'd arranged to at our neighbors (same college) because my parents didn't have an extra room. The kicker was she was pi… | /r/MensRights | 07/08/24 04:56 PM |
| 1 | Id rather be dead than alone the rest of my lifeAt this point in my life in happier having the freedom of choosing when in alone and when in not (prefer more time alone). You don't have to have a partner to not be alone and in fact you loose the ability to choose. | /r/MensRights | 06/08/24 04:59 PM |
| 7 | Id rather be dead than alone the rest of my lifeAnd you're always guilt tripped any time you want to go meet up with friends (best case is being asked can you take a kid with you?). Yeah I felt far more alone at times than I ever did as a single person. I got to choose when I wanted to be around people and when I wanted to be alone, instead of just feeling alone most of the time I'm back to being able to choose when I'm alone and when I'm not. For now I'm a parent for a good chunk of time and I enjoy my days alone even though I do start to mi… | /r/MensRights | 06/08/24 04:58 PM |
| 1 | Worst mistake of my lifeHonestly while it sucks scraping by the financial side pales in comparison to the emotional damage and all that most time. Still have flashbacks and still see.old emails and can't believe some of the shit that happened. Maybe not typical for everyone, but enough I wouldn't risk it even without the financial side. Yeah I miss cuddling and it does suck not knowing what to do with your sexual urges. But sex is also so fleeting I wouldn't sacrifice much for it, although to be fair I'm probably under… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Worst mistake of my lifeThat doesn't sound like it's asking for a lot, but it's still fairly rare to get all that. Considering the terrible odds and that the downside is so much worth I'd rather not take those odds even if the reward is what you state. Would have to offer a lot more than that to get me to ever consider it again. Bad divorce leaves mental scars and bad mental health for years, leaves with you years to recover financially and potentially struggling until your kids leave home etc.. I'd rather just have my… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 04:09 PM |
| 6 | Worst mistake of my lifeThe thing is those.wjo seem like they married the 'right one ' they may write a lot of mushy stuff online but the ones you know in real life it's nothing to really wish you had. It's underwhelming and they just seem to get along ok. The ones who are still crazy for each other don't generally exist and generally have just become comfortable enough. Thr downside is so massive and understated and all for chasing more of an ideal than anything, something that can't possibly live up to it. Thr risk/r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 04:29 AM |
| 3 | So...does anyone still talk to the EMIL?Nah she's awful and I've learned enough to tell anyone look for a wife to make sure she comes from a good family. I eventually realized personality disorders run in that family... | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/24 03:09 AM |
| 1 | Are you doing better than your ex?My ex blew the whole thing up but is privileged in the sense she doesn't actually know what being a single parent is like. Shes got rich family and doesn't have to worry much about finances and has a large fully paid house, while I still send lots of support payments and struggle in that regard trying to secure a place or my own. She went a few years without eveb looking for a job, and supposedly is working a little.bit for her boyfriends clinic now. I don't think very many hours. She has basica… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/24 03:49 PM |
| 0 | Do you think that when a woman is pregnant and doesn't want to abort but the man doesn't want the fetus he should be able to sign a document to the government that says he doesn't want this fetus and then he doesn't have to pay child support when it's born?No. It's already bad enough some women choose to end a life growing inside of them. Don't make it even worse allowing deadbeat parents as an option if the mom actually decides to take responsibility. I wish every mom would choose to keep the baby, but forcing them to do so is a complicated issue that infringes on personal freedom/autonomy (on the other hand who's going to speak up for the child who has no voice at this point?). I'm surprised america actually went there with abortion after the ca… | /r/MensRights | 04/08/24 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Kamala Harris telling people to man up and questioning their manhood is misandryTbh I haven't heard the man up thing. I generally don't like that term being used. What trump says does sound more like locker room tali even if it's gross. For the record I'd definitely vote kamala over Trump if I was American. I don't think she's a great candidate, but way better than him. I feel he will try to eliminate all checks and balances by getting his own men into places that are supposed to tell him no (and has already done some of that) and threaten democracy there. | /r/MensRights | 04/08/24 06:04 AM |
| 1 | Kamala Harris telling people to man up and questioning their manhood is misandryYeah I'm up north and it still blows me away the three best candidates were supposedly trump, Biden, and now kamala after he stepped aside. She sounds like a bit of a mess, but I'd prob lean that way.. trump sounds like a very real threat to dismantle the a lot of checks and balances and the democratic process if he gets in. Replace all the ones who are supposed to keep him in check with yes men | /r/MensRights | 03/08/24 06:51 PM |
| 5 | Kamala Harris telling people to man up and questioning their manhood is misandryLiterally doesn't seem like it belongs here. I really despise the man, but there is at least some plausible deniability he was speaking metaphorically saying they basically would let you do what they want to them | /r/MensRights | 03/08/24 06:49 PM |
| 2 | JK Rowling about the boxing controversy: men enjoying punching women in the head is summary of men's rights movementYeah either way she grew up most of her life being told she was a girl and I guess appeared that way on outside. I lean towards making it fair for the majority and not making a. Exception, but it def sucks for her. Not the same as someone being 100% undisputed male then decide they want to be a woman and compete with women, but ultimately yeah same kind of advantages end of day | /r/MensRights | 02/08/24 09:40 PM |
| 1 | JK Rowling about the boxing controversy: men enjoying punching women in the head is summary of men's rights movementA person's record is kind of irrelevant..by the same token id get my ass beat by these women every time but shouldn't qualify for women's boxing..if anything it makes it sound like you don't believe in separating them by male and female , but by competence It's definitely a complicated issue when trh person is essentially intersex and assigned female at birth, but has xy chromosomes and more testosterone (I'd lean towards competitive fairness unfortunately at their expenses, but have to look out… | /r/MensRights | 02/08/24 07:15 PM |
| 4 | JK Rowling about the boxing controversy: men enjoying punching women in the head is summary of men's rights movementYeah it's definitely a very complicated issue, as you said an anomaly. Id be curious if they had a uterus and eggs. It sounds like externally she was female and was identified as such at birth..it's not really their fault and I actually feel sorry for them with all.the nasty comments. They don't see themselves as a dude skirting the rules and beating up girls. That's ignorant talk. For the other competitors yes it definitely does sound like they have an unfair advantage.. I'd tend to lean toward… | /r/MensRights | 02/08/24 07:10 PM |
| 5 | What the actual fuck guys? You ever seen this before? Are we nuts?Yeah I got the same thing a couple weeks ago. Like heck no I'm not deleting everything and licking your boots. Shove off. Bad faith for what? Speaking out against suffer like the flawed family courts, dei hires, women manipulating men for $$$ on only fans, not wanting to be held accountable etc? | /r/MensRights | 01/08/24 02:29 PM |
| 5 | Only fans girls be likeIts exploiting men who are not mentally well in many cases. It's indeed sad. St some level Im sure the girls must have wake up calls along the way that remind that or what they're dealing with. They know... They just choose to exploit sad situations | /r/MensRights | 31/07/24 11:32 AM |
| 6 | Did you ever consider the possibility of divorce at the beginning of your marriage?It definitely can. Some of them are only in it for kids, especially if bio clock is ticking. Realized it way too late myself | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 08:54 PM |
| 5 | Did any of you have mental health issues as a result of your marriage or divorce?It's been around four years since ei moved out and I'm still unpacking that part. I definitely believe I will never quite be the same, but some healing will happen. I find I have a lot more difficulty sitting at my desk and concentrating for the full 9 hours (I work a 44-36 schedule) than I used to. I just feel a get overwhelmed with anxiety more/builds up faster and have a harder time coping with it. I also have a bit of a harder time getting to bed | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/24 12:55 PM |
| 3 | Did any of you have mental health issues as a result of your marriage or divorce?It's been around four years since ei moved out and I'm still unpacking that part. I definitely believe I will never quite be the same, but some healing will happen. I find I have a lot more difficulty sitting at my desk and concentrating for the full 9 hours (I work a 44-36 schedule) than I used to. I just feel a get overwhelmed with anxiety more/builds up faster and have a harder time coping with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/24 12:54 PM |
| 3 | Found the love of my lifeYikes love bombing makes me think of how bpd act at first. Let's hope she isn't one of those | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/24 01:59 PM |
| 0 | Swiss court ruling only mothers have legal say in abortionHence I said extenuating circumstances. Both genders more and more just want to be deadbeats and avoid responsibility for their actions. I'm not in favour of extending that further | /r/MensRights | 26/07/24 04:59 PM |
| 6 | Swiss court ruling only mothers have legal say in abortionWe need to stop with that brave nonsense, that's the problem. Can't force someone to carry the child, but it's a deplorable thing to do except for extenuating circumstances. Nothing brave about seeing an unborn child as too incovenient or justifying it with dramatics acting like so many women die or are ruined by childbirth | /r/MensRights | 26/07/24 04:31 PM |
| -10 | Swiss court ruling only mothers have legal say in abortionI'm personally not in favour of providing more avenues of abandoning our offspring. The fact women can be deplorable enough to kill their unborn children doesn't mean we should then insist on our right to be deadbeat dads likr some tit for tat. We should be asking what is wrong with society that our women are so willing to do that to begin with. Lack of support or alternatives? The more people want to uo trh ante in terms of lack of responsibility the more our children lose | /r/MensRights | 26/07/24 04:30 PM |
| 10 | How’s life once check out of dating?I'm not much older at 38. My finances are a bit of a struggle with support payments taking so much, I have a couple solid friends, a couple hobbies l (although my kids limit my time at them), however I do have children which make a huge difference. I rarely feel lonely. I do miss my kids after not seeing them a few days. I do actually enjoy the days I have to myself. Maybe when I get older I'll feel a little different as my kids move off. I do like to think I'll join more groups/clubs. Then at s… | /r/MensRights | 26/07/24 04:16 PM |
| 2 | Did it feel like your S.O. "flipped a switch"?I don't desire or believe in second marriages so I don't have to worry about it happening again | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 03:14 PM |
| 6 | Did it feel like your S.O. "flipped a switch"?I feel it was more like frog slowly boiling in water. Over time she gradually showed more of her real self.. and then of course each time you gave her what she wanted she would show more, then she'd be on her best behavior leading up to the next thing she wanted. Once she had that house and kids she stopped pretending altogether | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 02:56 PM |
| 2 | Just discovered long affair while on vacationI often ask myself if I'd even want to know if my kids weren't mine. After you've helped raise them and spent years getting attached and bonding it wouldn't really change much. If anything it's important to know in terms of medical history I guess. Not that I advocate paying support for another man's kid, but that's kind of the cost if you still want legal rights and custody, at least here. If I was going to just peace out of their lives I'd have to know within first few months or something | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/24 09:03 PM |
| 8 | Companies hire women over men in 2024If anything there is actually a valid argument for favouring the few male teachers. Outside of hopefully a dad at home young boys re lacking male role models and spend so much of their time around women | /r/MensRights | 11/07/24 03:52 AM |
| 28 | Companies hire women over men in 2024Always get the feeling I won't get a call back when I'm filling out an application and it asks if part of all these visible minorities. Also the epcm I work at recently released stats about how they actually hired slightly more women than men. When you think about how few women go into engineering they're basically bragging that they're discriminating against men | /r/MensRights | 10/07/24 09:25 PM |
| 32 | A major study claiming men leave their wives when they become ill has been debunkedThe whole idea of assuming that the one initiating the divorce is the "victim" in the marriage or that the other person is the problem is flawed to begin with. We all know there are people out there that are impossible to please and those that complain the most are often the problem | /r/MensRights | 08/07/24 10:37 PM |
| 1 | This is not 'advocacy', it is bigotry.Yeah as the slide indicates it's not an exclusive thing to one group. I mean I know after nasty divorces it's easy to see women the same way. Many have used the analogy of Russian roulette. Anyone that's been hurt can feel that way. It's.not even necessarily false, but becomes an issue when you dehumanize a whole group. I personally wouldn't risk a committed relationship again.. feels like a poor risk/reward ratio, but I recognize the lovely ladies who have been in my life Tbh in no entirely sur… | /r/MensRights | 08/07/24 06:23 PM |
| 10 | Who initiated the separation/divorce? You or the wife?She did. People shouldnt confuse that to mean she was the only unhappy one though. Which often happens. I wasnt happy either, pretty damn tired of her rediculous expectations and wild mood swings (positive she's bpd and it nearly took my sanity) but I tried to work with her and a counsellor and try to make it work, she didn't and figured there were greener pastures out there that was worth not working on things for the family. That and she never did love me from what I gathered and she basically… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/24 10:51 PM |
| 4 | I have the deepest empathy for all divorced men.Yeah.. I mean I'm certainly not going to root against people that have made that choice. I wish them well and good luck. Unfortunately most will need it at some point. It really seems like the best you can hope for is that the familiarity sets in and you're 'comfortable' with them even though they can be annoying at times. Hopefully a good team that divides and conquea raising kids etc. . as opposed to so many couples that either get bored or just grow to resent their partners over time. End of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/24 07:39 AM |
| 6 | I have the deepest empathy for all divorced men.I'm fortunate to be a very big part of my kids lives. it's awful when they suddenly shut everything down the moment thryr are done having kids. The moment she got that last + test and knew she was pregnant I never saw her naked again. Once he was born and we moved she basically stopped trying altogether and it was just open hostility | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/24 06:33 AM |
| 3 | Your Post-Divorce Perspective Of WomenWell it's true everyone was more worry free, young, active (part of that was everyone adding responsibilities by getting married/kids). On the flipside very few of my better memories are with a romantic partner. Like yeah maybe my wedding day and definitely birth of my kids, but otherwise most of my memories are bad ones tbh. I think the most painful memories were related to chasing or being involved with a partner | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/24 06:47 AM |
| 4 | Your Post-Divorce Perspective Of WomenNah I'm glad I'm a reasonable person who has restraint, fairness, honour.. especially when kids are involved. I'd rather just not play the game than stoop to that level | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/24 03:04 PM |
| 5 | Your Post-Divorce Perspective Of WomenRealize how they think is not going to make any sense most of the time. Pick your battles wisely. Handling a women’s emotions is a skill that needs to be learned and requires a lot of patience which I think equates essentially to dealing with a child. The funny thing is if anything I feel I did all of that too much. Most of the time I'm the poster child for picking your battles, being patient, letting people vent or get it out, being understanding.. but my ex was the type of you gave her an inch… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/24 06:33 AM |
| 6 | Your Post-Divorce Perspective Of WomenGreat for some people. I dunno I've just always preferred the simplicity and extra time I have being single. Worst times in my life were always in pursuit or during relationships and most of my memories tend to be on the painful side with few good ones. They're exciting at first if you're successful. I won't say there aren't good women. I have a couple solid friends and I've seen some that would probably have better odds of working out. Id just rather not add extra complication again. All about … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/24 06:23 AM |
| 3 | Your Post-Divorce Perspective Of WomenYup best years or my life were single, just hanging out with my bros, whether I realized it at the time or not.. was always thinking of the white picket fence. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/24 06:15 AM |
| 2 | How much money did you lose during the process of divorce?I tried to settle just to get it over with. Somehow still ended up like all the other stories. At some point she would have taken the shirt right off my back and I'd still be waiting to have equal time with my kids..doesn't help she fired two lawyers (three if you count the one she signed up with, he sent one letter, then she fired lol). Also insisted we had to switch arbitrators | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/24 09:39 PM |
| 1 | Escape child support?Yeah my ex doesn't have many financial worries due to her family. I was heading to arbitration with lawyer with intent to inpute min wage at full time hours. Night before sends a job offer form her bf half the hours but same salary so we took it and inputted a few k more every year for the next five. If she makes more we use that. I'm still paying her a lot despite barely scraping by and her living a relatively easy life in a nice big house. Don't really have much choice of I wanna be a big part… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/24 09:41 PM |
| 4 | Should I get a divorce?I respect her and I trust her Tbh that's plenty to build around and at least try counselling and such to hopefully work on the rest. You're better off than majority of people who divorce if you actually still have those two things. You're not always going to have those warm and fuzzy feelings, but they can be rekindled. Imo it's at least worth kicking the can. If you guys were constantly fighting in front of your kid that would be detrimental for him to be around, but that doesn't seem to be the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/24 03:52 PM |
| 9 | Involuntary Celibate vs Voluntary Celibate difference.Ive been voluntarily celibacy a good chunk of my life. Ironically the only time I was involuntarily so was during marriage to figure. I waited until marriage, had great sex first couple of years but tapered off for a while after first, then died once she got the second. Now I choose to remain celibate again. Tbh life would have been far simpler if I'd just remained celibate, but I'd miss my kids. Or course it's hard to tell anyone that who's never had it | /r/MensRights | 14/06/24 08:47 PM |
| 1 | Subconscious assumptions about "the woods" explain why most women choose "bear" in the man vs bear meme.As another poster pointed out, no the issue with the surgeon isn't the assumption all surgeons are men.. it's simply the fact we wouldn't expect the other parent to also be a surgeon and it's natural to assume we are talking about the same one. Little to do with gender. I kinda agree with the other poster though. Why are we still talking about choosing the bear? | /r/MensRights | 13/06/24 03:44 PM |
| 0 | How much did you spend?I think around 80k might be a bit more with that last bill. Have to double check. Sucked. Took 3 years. Hers was over 100 cause she changed lawyers twice (technically three times.. never met the first one. Think he sent us one piece or paper and then gone. Also forced out hand in switching arbitrators. First one basically said she was a crybaby so maybe had a case. Could have gone ahead cause it was binding but would have had an expensive court day for both parties to see if arbitrator was throw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/24 05:33 AM |
| 1 | Mediation next week. Any tips?I know here we have first refusal where they get dibs before any childcare or babysitter is required. Maybe you guys don't have that there. Mine definitely did try to use it as a reason she couldn't work, but she was going to regardless whether I hired childcare or not. She actually used my oldest who has some mental health issues as the main reason at the final meeting. I said well like if your taking her to one or two appointments a week I can take a bit or time off one dua a week to do that. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/24 04:57 PM |
| 1 | Mediation next week. Any tips?After school I see two options. Either she gets them after school and looks after them til you're able to pick them up (that's want we do) or she pays her portion of daycare (I know here this stuff is split based on income...but you should be inputting an income to her for child support.. she can work a min wage job). I know herr in Canada any childcare required due to work is considered section 7 and is split In terms of moving kids should ideally stay in same school with same friends. Not thei… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/24 04:08 PM |
| 4 | Four and a half hours of mediation to get nowhere.Unfortunately at least here (Alberta, Canada) they won't even let you into a courtroom for the most part unless you at least try mediation first. And then I'd you make it there there is a different procedure for every issue from what I was told. We did end up going with a med/arb process where if you can't agree the third lawyer acting as mediator puts on his judge robes basically. Does help move things along somewhat. We should have just done it right away, although she was convinced the first … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/24 03:30 AM |
| 5 | 'Evil' teaching assistant who had sex with boy, 10, after she groomed him during a sickening campaign of abuse is jailed for eight yearsWasn't good looking so they actually gave her jail time and rightly called her evil. Will see how much of it she serves | /r/MensRights | 11/06/24 01:40 PM |
| 5 | Just had an eye opening experience about the word “female” with 3 of my friendsDefinitely a contributor. Just feels like they turned the dial up these last few weeks in particular | /r/MensRights | 08/06/24 09:22 PM |
| 55 | Just had an eye opening experience about the word “female” with 3 of my friendsI feel I must have missed some worldwide event that suddenly reduced everyone's IQs. What's wrong with using the word male or female? I mean we just spent all kinds of time talking about them choosing the bear.. then people spent weeks being outraged at some kicker sharing his traditional values at a speech for some Catholic college. Apparently people have way too much time in their hands | /r/MensRights | 08/06/24 08:42 PM |
| 7 | My Ex wants to adjust her income to $0 on CS calculatorIf she's already been paid out for the summer and that's all she's taking off then her yearly income should be the same. Not sure what case she would have if she's already been paid for those months. If shr wants it somehow play the fa e for naki t nothing those three. I the then she needs to pay back the difference from the month she get the advance at the very least, but yeah it shouldn't matter if she got paid earlier or late You're fortune you're not in Canada. At 30% custody their income al… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 04:24 AM |
| 11 | The idea of dating again disgusts me… 2 yrs post/divorceI find it more unusual that people have their lives practically ruined for years and say well let's do it again, I'm sure it'll be different this time. I also question the family model at that point. Maybe because in a person of faith I look at these things differently, but spouse is suppose to come first then your kids. But thats also usually with the assumption that's also their mom and kids thrive when dad makes mom #1. When you bring some stranger in, tell them this is how mom and she's #1 y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 03:51 PM |
| 1 | 100+ Million Leftover Women In China Realize Their Degrees Mean Nothing To Men.This isn't all he said, though. He started by saying women had been lied to. They kinda have. They've been told their identities are completely in their careers and I'd you're at home with kids you have low value. her life didn't start until she married and had kids, He said that she would have said that's when her life really started d condemming both natural family planning and IVF. Yeah that's a pretty prevalent Catholic belief where I just agree to disagree. Many don't believe in birth contr… | /r/MensRights | 04/06/24 01:47 PM |
| 7 | No more Mr nice guyI never expected to get rewards. I just grew up and as part of my beliefs that you treat others how you'd want to be treated whether they reciprocate or not. Its just the right thing. You try to see others as better than yourself. It's best to do these things in secret etc. tbh if I know I can easily help someone and I don't I feel bad/guilty. I feel good to be helpful. Is that a reward? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 12:50 AM |
| 13 | 100+ Million Leftover Women In China Realize Their Degrees Mean Nothing To Men.Yeah it it's really fulfilling to them go ahead, but what Butker said is right, some of them will be more fulfilled by being a mother and wife, even if they do work as well. I feel like what really upset people and why some were so defensive is that they wish they could, but need both incomes.. a bit of jealousy because him and his wife are privileged. I know I sure as heck would prefer to stay home with my kids than the daily grind in the office. But if you have to it's easier to get mad and ac… | /r/MensRights | 04/06/24 12:38 AM |
| 6 | No more Mr nice guyI didn't make it very far in that book. Right off the bat he comes across as jaded or something. Like altruism doesn't actually exist and that nobody ever does anything nice just because it's the right thing to do, you like helping people, you put yourself in their shoes etc. He basically says you do it for a reward. I'm sure for some people thats true though. Glad it's useful to people though and I know it's helped a few around here | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 12:24 AM |
| 1 | Wife says she wants a divorce, and full custody of our 5 month oldYeah that one's complicated. I know tried with both and she was never able to do very well with breastfeeding. Both did fine on formula despite the huge breast is best approach. Pumping can help fill in but maybe for only a couple days.. Like you said I'm sure even 100% formula mom's would abuse it..def 100% mom is so damaging to the kid and once off the boob there is zero excuse for not having 50/50 | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/24 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Single dads, did you consider having an Au Pair ?Overall it’s not expensive, especially that having the kids 50% should remove the child support I pay the devil. At least in Canada it depends on your incomes. Mine didn't even bother looking for a job and we were gonna inpute just over 30k when we went to shared custody (min wage full time here). Might before arbitration sends a job offer from her boyfriend for half time but same pay so that's what we went with to start but ramping up a bit for next five years. I'm still paying her a bit over 9… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/24 03:55 PM |
| 7 | Wife says she wants a divorce, and full custody of our 5 month oldFull custody is essentially child abuse imo unless the other is a danger. She may get more custody if she's breast feeding, but there needs to be some custody and ramp up in the next couple of years | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/24 03:50 PM |
| 2 | 45 Years of Data Disproving the Myth That Husbands Are The Abusers - useful articleYeah in general women have always been more prone to depression and if you look up any psychology websites they will all agree women have a tendency to be more neurotic in nature. Guys tend to cope better because they compartmentalize.. which is also an asset at the workplace. And yeah I think one thing article didn't explicitly say but implied is that bio dad's don't generally allow step mom's to be abusive. Bio moms more likely to allow it to continue, whether out of fear, or whatever the case… | /r/MensRights | 30/05/24 10:22 PM |
| 6 | 45 Years of Data Disproving the Myth That Husbands Are The Abusers - useful articleSome people will attack it based on remarks about socialism and gyno centric (words that trigger them), but a lot of good data that's hard to deny. I was reading it thinking yeah partly because men don't have their kids as much, but then noted with increase in custody it hasn't changed. Also the mental health part. Oh and I couldn't help but think as I got closer to the end.. see butker was actually right lol. Not the first time I've heard women were happier (and why wouldn't they be?) when both… | /r/MensRights | 30/05/24 05:02 PM |
| 2 | equal distribution of work ≠ fairnessYeah I spent far too much time bending over backwards doing stuff only my ex wife really saw a need for. It's.not just basic cleanliness, it was like renovations, tweaking furniture around the house (like trading our old one for someone else's), and yard stuff. I'm her case she didn't even work so she just had too much time on her hands and it often seemed she thought I had the same With some house stuff it's the condescension like I'm not your mother, you should know this, and yet they never st… | /r/MensRights | 29/05/24 08:34 PM |
| 3 | Is it wrong to feel relieved and “lighter” after being asked for a divorce?Nope.i fought hard to do what I could to save it cause it was the right thing to do, I didn't want to be a part time dad, and worried about my kids.. I suffered for years though, became isolated, lost some of my hobbies, and didn't have much to look forward to. So yeah when she refused the even meet me part way not only was my conscience clear about it, but the had a lot to look forward to suddenly, like old friends, hobbies, not having to put up with tantrums and screaming etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/24 04:41 PM |
| 1 | Why isn't this movement more mainstream in society?Unitarian churches have been known for a while to try and be appear to be cool and hip imo. It's been happening for a while. Normally the rest of us just say well it doesn't follow scripture but that's their choice... But yeah my main issue was being a distraction on Easter which is such a sacred day. Not a day to be making statements and quite frankly blasphemous between you and I. I was banned for simply saying it seemed like a bad time to make such a statement. Easter is supposed to be about … | /r/MensRights | 29/05/24 01:45 PM |
| 7 | Why does everyone call their ex a narcissist?Never used narcissist. I actually believe my ex mother in law is. I believe my ex is bpd, but will likely never be confirmed as they've never do any wrong. I spent years in my marriage accepting the blame and apologizing for everything to the point where my buddy would tease me and ask if I apologized for being born. By the end and then by the end she admitted she didn't love me when she married but hoped she would grow to. So for me it's been kinda catch up time to realize I actually do try pre… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/24 11:43 PM |
| 14 | Why isn't this movement more mainstream in society?Yeah I got banned from a local sub. Some chruch was having a drag show around Easter service. Lots calibrating it and saying this is how it's done. I thought I was fairly civil and simply said it's one thing to be controversial and make a statement that goes against traditional beliefs and scripture, there have been churches doing that a while, but I'd rather they choose to do it on another day than Easter. I feel a sacred day like that shouldn't be overshadowed by political statements and contr… | /r/MensRights | 27/05/24 08:51 PM |
| 21 | Why isn't this movement more mainstream in society?I think underlying what you said (and most of us have the same mentality) is that for most of us men we just refuse to play the victim. We recognize the issues, but just tend to roll up our sleeves instead of asking for everyone else to help us fix our problems | /r/MensRights | 27/05/24 08:43 PM |
| 1 | Women problems are society problems but men problems are individual problemsYeah I'm convinced you're just trolling at this point. He didn't tell anyone their accomplishments were meaningless or they they shouldn't have a career. He simply told reminded them not to get caught up in becoming too corporate minded and focus on family. He did leave a bit of a note to men about that as well to prioritize family. Id you're wondering why he spoke more to women it's because he's a hardcore Catholic and Christians in general believe men and women have different roles. That's fin… | /r/MensRights | 27/05/24 08:29 PM |
| 1 | Women problems are society problems but men problems are individual problemsYeah that's not at all what he said. For all the talk about fragile males this comes across as something fragile females thought. He didn't tell anyone their education was meaningless or that they shouldn't have a career. He simply pushed back against the narrative that they had to be career minded women with something to prove, that they had to climb the corporate ladder. He said their role with family should be first that's it. People are way too sensitive these days. Can't tell people to prio… | /r/MensRights | 27/05/24 08:11 PM |
| 1 | No sex drive after divorceAbsolutely check up your health as others said. That's important. Assuming you're healthy just enjoy it my man. Don't put pressure on yourself to desire them. If you simply don't anymore then it's a freedom a lot of other men only wish they had. Often wish my sex drive was gone (although I realize I'd probably feel different in your shoes). I still feel horny but I just know its never led to anything good and likely won't on the future | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 05:44 PM |
| 5 | Its never enough.It really does mess you up. I was surprised how little I cared when she finally left.. I was over it before it even happened.. had already greived the relationship years before , but it's still been years of unpacking stuff I suffered over the years and just didn't take the time to process til it was over.. I look back at old emails and it's like holy crap she was crazy | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 03:42 PM |
| 4 | Its never enough.My ex threatened divorce almost every time we fought for years so unlike a lot of other posts was no surprise for me. Actually spent many years trying to please her and was never enough. Only good times were the beginning (actually both extremes) and now I realize leading up to a kid or new house. Pretty sure shes bpd though so no filter and the biggest mistake I made was thinking she couldn't possibly actually believe what she's saying when she is upset | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 02:48 PM |
| 7 | Its never enough.Tbh I rarely remember them either. Spent so many years just trying to please someone impossible to please. I realized later things only seemed good before having a kid or moving to a new house | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/24 02:45 PM |
| 2 | Man vs Bear is only answered bear by the terminally onlineIt's for dramatic effect. Very few would ever actually pick bear. Just look at people that go hiking. Everyone carries bear spray for an actual bear, not for some random man they meet in the woods. Ive know women that go solo hiking knowing they'll be coming across random men all the time as well. Ive also hiked in groups where it was just me and a random woman or two or started out in a larger group and ended up that way. But methinks these are probably not the type making dramatic social media… | /r/MensRights | 22/05/24 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Women problems are society problems but men problems are individual problemsThese last two weeks have been very telling. First three was the whole we choose the bear thing.. the meme were fun but always people that got heated over it.. then we spend so much time and effort talking about a kicker of all people making comments in a little Catholic college. All I can say is first world problems and that people have way too much time on their hands.. you'd never see men making such a fuss about these things. Could you imagine calling out fragile femininity? I mean the guy b… | /r/MensRights | 20/05/24 04:31 AM |
| 3 | Where did the idea come from that women should have the expectation of never lifting a finger their entire lives and have everything handed to them?No definitely not.. my ex came from humble origins but uncle got rich followed by her mom and others. She basically retired a year after we married at 33. I kinda hoped she'd go back to work but had planned to look after trh kids.. except oh she needed time to get chores done and her back.. got a doctor's notr and everything so gov paid for her to send them to preschool a few days a week with both. What did she do? I dunno. Always said she was busy but half of it was work she made for herself li… | /r/MensRights | 18/05/24 09:09 PM |
| 1 | Harrison Butker ControversyTbh it comes across to me as a bit of defensiveness with possibly just about of insecurity. That and society says submissive stay at home women are weak. You need to go br part of a productive society and take the bull by the horns. The reality is most families also don't have trh luxury of a stay at home partner either so there can be push back from the majority that don't have that luxury.. so then it becomes easy for people to band against it | /r/MensRights | 18/05/24 08:54 PM |
| 7 | Harrison Butker ControversyThis is what's wild to me. If LGBTQ were offended about his pride comments I'd get it, or people about abortions. For some reason the biggest thing people are complaining about is him saying that some will try to climb the corporate ladder, but that being excited about being a wife and mom is great, hat family is important and stay at home moms are as valuable as any of that. He then goes in to praise his wife. You can't praise stay at home wives without all the career types getting offended. It… | /r/MensRights | 18/05/24 06:05 AM |
| 3 | Stop waiting for a Fish will Climb a TreeYeah she never stopped complaining I matter what I did to try and be a loving husband and do things her way. It became evident she wanted someone else. Definitely not the man she married. Some of.her complaints were against just the way I was wired like being an introvert who didn't like confrontation and picked and chooses my battles. By the end it was well you know what. No matter how much I work in this or that it's never enough. I can't really just try any harder. Let's go see a counsellor a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/24 01:59 AM |
| 1 | Marriage insurance for menYou'll get screwed if they ever leave. Don't get me wrong if they actually did that it has value. My ex literally made all kinds of reasons why she couldn't be with them full time and sent them off to preschool for a few days a week while hanging out at home. Even got a doctor's note about her back so gov paid for a portion of it. Can only argue about that stuff so much | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/24 02:53 PM |
| 1 | Marriage insurance for menAmd hope they don't just stop working..maybe not right away, but once kids come along... | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/24 02:42 PM |
| 4 | Would you ever think about trying again?I fully intend on never dating or anything again. Tbh I've never really had a positive experience from it aside from it seemingly going well enough I thought it was a good idea to marry somehow. Reality is she settled and never felt the same way. Ive always fallen really hard and don't know what it's even like to have the other feel that way... Except I think with a childhood friend shoe was on the other foot and a girl who catfished me. Never had it line up mutually. In general life has always … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/24 01:54 PM |
| -2 | UK: Maths teacher, 30, got pregnant by pupil while awaiting trial for 'grooming' another schoolboy, 15, who she took back to her luxury apartment for sexI mean I literally said that in my post. But if you're shortening something already why leave the s? | /r/MensRights | 08/05/24 05:27 AM |
| -4 | UK: Maths teacher, 30, got pregnant by pupil while awaiting trial for 'grooming' another schoolboy, 15, who she took back to her luxury apartment for sexYeah i just don't know why you'd keep the s in an abbreviation. Just feels kinda pretentious and unnecessary lol | /r/MensRights | 07/05/24 10:00 PM |
| -7 | UK: Maths teacher, 30, got pregnant by pupil while awaiting trial for 'grooming' another schoolboy, 15, who she took back to her luxury apartment for sexIt's strange but outside of North america they do in fact call it maths as in mathematics. No idea why the s wasn't done away since math is easier to pronounce and no confusion as to what you are talking about but it's that way in much of the world regardless | /r/MensRights | 07/05/24 08:31 PM |
| 5 | Man or Bear: which would you chooseReality is some women know how rediculous it is. Why do I say this? I know women who hike solo and gasp they do run into men in the trails regularly. As far as I know they aren't preparing themselves to use that bear spray on them When you dramaticize and exaggerate it kinda of detracts from the point you're trying to make. Not sure why people still try to argue that way | /r/MensRights | 07/05/24 03:18 PM |
| 2 | A simple summary of the whole man vs bear debate.Meh I kinda thought it wasnt even worth my time, I understood the idea we should all be asking why women might respond that way, but also they need to understand that exaggerations and dramatizing stuff makes it less likely you'll be taken seriously. It's just not a good way to argue and can be smelled from a mile away. It kinda left me asking why is it that so many women tend to do that to begin with. Having said all that for the most part I've just been enjoying seeing the bear memes everywher… | /r/MensRights | 07/05/24 05:35 AM |
| 1 | First offer, defeated.That's sexist as hell. What justification do they have for dad paying 100% of table amount when they both have equal costs? What makes her more of a parent than dad? I thought it was stupid when we say it's 100% if dad dips below 40% (same here that they will do their damnest to keep dad at something like 35%). All about $$. I was at 35% for a while and still needed to rent a place with extra bedrooms, supply clothes (instead of them lugging bags or clothes and fighting with ex) and food | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 10:28 PM |
| 2 | First offer, defeated.I was asking the American. As a Canadian I was just as confused as you were. Even the 60/40 seems stupid here..they do their best to keep you at 35% for that $$ and we just pretend you don't still need extra bedrooms, clothing (nobody wants their kids lugging suitcases), food etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 09:32 PM |
| 1 | First offer, defeated.So even if it's 50/50, 60/40, etc. they still consider it majority custody? How does that work? We don't consider it majority unless you have more than 60% | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 09:29 PM |
| 1 | First offer, defeated.Good grief why a second one? Lol. One wasn't painful enough? Or /s? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 05:56 PM |
| 1 | First offer, defeated.How does that even work? So it you have your kids 100% of the time you still have to pay the mother???? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/24 05:53 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone considered Legal Separation? Why did you choose divorce instead?It's one of those let's take some time apart and see if we get back together. it almost never happens.. let's face it. One or both have already got one foot out the door. Actually my sister has spent years being separated but not divorced. Apparently she wanted him to keep her in health benefits and he just complied. Tbh I kinda wonder what the insurance company would think and wonder if they've even disclosed that. Imo he should cut her off if she doesn't want to be with him but not my circus. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/24 02:09 PM |
| 5 | Has anyone considered Legal Separation? Why did you choose divorce instead?Can only speak to Canada, but the difference between separation and divorce is basically just a piece of paper. You still have the same support requirements. Also if they decide ar any point they would rather have the piece of paper so they can move on there is nothing you can do to stop them, only delay at best. There is no real advantage to legal separation over divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/24 01:49 PM |
| 4 | Leonardo DiCaprio is smartI personally couldnt because of my faith and just the fact I don't think I could be that intimate with someone in not close to. If I was someone just living for the here and now and was more into casual sex absolutely. Why wouldn't you go for someone in their prime years .. and often a win win where they get to be in the spotlight and he gets to enjoy a young beauty. They both know what they're getting | /r/MensRights | 02/05/24 11:29 PM |
| 1 | Calculating child supportI went back and forth with her lawyer and mine for inputting minimum wage as we went to shared custody. She had rich family and they paid off her house so no desire to work Finally when we took he to binding arbitration suddenly the day before her lawyer sends a job offer she received from her boyfriend to make min wage salary on half the hours. Fine..we went with that for this year. he whined after we were signing that it should only apply to next year. While generally she might be right she co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/24 11:14 PM |
| 1 | Divorce StallingAnd his wife by the sounds of it was kinda the backup plan even if he didn't think of it that way when it all started. Chance that one or even both would cheat. In his case I guess the writing was already on the wall and didn't feel he had much to save, probably felt starved for affection, but then don't go running back. Just end it and take time to sort yourself out. Running into another relationship before last one is even officially ended never ends well and never thinking straight | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/24 03:12 PM |
| 5 | Remaining friendsNope. There is a reason you got divorced. If both people really enjoyed being around each other that much then why did they divorce to Begin with? I'd say especially if kids were involved. As others said if you're looking for a friend there are a ton of better options.. plenty of guys and girls out there (tbh I've never had a female that was a better friend than my dudes, I've only had a couple good female friends that felt close to comparable.. usually relate to other dudes more on that level..… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/24 06:18 PM |
| 10 | Divorce StallingNah he's got a good point even if you don't want to hear it. More often than not affairs don't have happy ending. Youvr got two people that crossed those boundaries and you're expecting both to be loyal in the next relationship | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/24 02:46 PM |
| 1 | Kids at age 14 can "decide who they live with." How does this work?Well here we consider anything above 60% primary custody. 40/60 or 50/50 is considered shared. That makes sense to me. What doesn't make sense is that there isn't any scaling. Expenses didn't change that much when I got those two extra days a month from 35% to 40% or whatever. I still had to have extra bedrooms and feed them almost ad many days. In theory she buys the clothes until it's shared but most parents realize quickly it's nice to have some things at your place and not have them packing … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/24 09:35 PM |
| 2 | From my kids mouth: ex’s new partner hates me and wants to fight me. What should I do?And buddy is a simp for just taking it at face value (let's face it many of us naturally are conditioned to, especially if we think she's the one). I'm lucky in the sense my ex is obvious enough and her bf is aware enough (apparently not enough to leave her) that he's not ignorant she makes crap up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/24 07:14 PM |
| 2 | Kids at age 14 can "decide who they live with." How does this work?Ir does in Canada. If you have over 60% custody your income is basically considered 0 and they pay the full amount of their entire income even if they have them 35% I'd the time. It's a crappy incentive to take kid away from the other parent, but that's how it works here. My ex did her damnest to keep me just under that 40% and I even overhead a lawyer when we were first divorcing tell her to be careful how much custody I got | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/24 07:34 PM |
| 2 | Divorce has been final for months, I won, but I'm still not at peace.Grief is complex and has its stages. Can't just talk anyone through them all at once when they're processing it. Take your time. Anger is ok as long as you don't let it affect your judgement too much or do anything dumb. You also don't need to apologize or justify yourself if it's not directed at the most logical choice or anything either. I think it is helpful to discuss them though as part of the process. Hardest parts are hopefully behind you and it's road to recovery | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/24 06:41 PM |
| 10 | Divorce has been final for months, I won, but I'm still not at peace.That's pretty damn shitty if him, but he didn't owe you anything personally. Just a shitty general moral compass. Your mother in law is the worst one here because she schemed it all and convinced her daughter and this dude. Your ex is the one who actually made a commitment to you and had the biggest personal obligation. So I guess maybe MIL is arguably #2. In reality her whole family is trash.. (you realize looking back your marriage was doomed becaise they were raised by trash and bound to be/b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/24 06:18 PM |
| 5 | Divorce has been final for months, I won, but I'm still not at peace.Was her affair partner someone that knew both of you personally? Trying to understand the rage. It kind of feels like you're still holding onto the image you had if her instead of realizing you're actually too good for someone that does that. The other guy didn't ruin what you thought you had. Merely exposed a weakness. She's the one that betrayed you. You can add him if he's a personal acquaintance, but he still didn't make the same commitment to you. The sooner you realize shes actually a terr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/24 06:07 PM |
| 6 | Teenage girl lured her ex-boyfriend to a remote Scottish nature reserve before getting her new lover to brutally kill him - after she couldn't pay him the £1,000 she owed OP: The boy got life in prison, she got 10 years.Judging by title is have thought maybe she was a minor and they weren't. Title is misleading as heck and tries to paint her to be more innocent. She's an adult even if 19 has the word teen at the end | /r/MensRights | 24/04/24 01:45 PM |
| 2 | 2 years in litigationI guess yours listened to reason then? Lucky. Mine expected life wouldn't change I'd just be gone. She'd keep everything. She expected to keep almost everything, collect from her rich family and me, and hang out at home. She spent all of mediation in another room crying and our mediator was even like what did she expect? She needs to grow up. That's the one she insists we couldn't use again. Mine was a bit messy because she took a bunch of money from her family a d paid off rest of our mortgage … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/24 06:37 PM |
| 8 | 2 years in litigationThink mine was almost 3.5 years of each counsel just sending emails back and forth, a mediation for financials, emergency court order for custody (her panic attack and me moving out suddenly) her changing lawyers a couple times, her forcing hand in changing arbitrator, more emails, mediation where we agreed on some custody and expenses but didn't have any signed agreement, hoping it would get resolved with rest shortly, more emails, final arbitration | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/24 04:56 PM |
| 3 | LonelinessGot a divorce... But seriously even though she wanted it the moment writing was in the wall I just started thinking about the people I needed to reconnect with (was so isolated), hobbies I was going to get back, being more relaxed around my kids etc. marriage was the one place I felt truly lonely. I occasionally feel a tinge of it when my kids have been at her place a few days but volunteer as a scoiter and some amazing families involved with it so a privilege to know some of.tbr other scouters,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/24 12:24 AM |
| 1 | I just found out that I’m going to be forced to sell my house and pay around $1,500 monthly for alimony, child support, and health insurance. I only bring home $3,000 every month. How am I going to survive?If she's not working then you should consider trying to inpute at least minimum wage. My ex has rich family and even though we were supposed to be shared custody a year ago it wasn't officially recognized and signed until just recently. Anyways. We kept telling her we were going to inpute min wage and night before arbitration sends a job offer she got from her boyfriend for that exact amount with only 20 hours a week. Whatever. We took it and for next five years we have a step up of s few thousa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/24 06:54 PM |
| 2 | Being alone sucks, still better than being ignoredBeen around three years I think since I moved out. So far aside from missing my kids when they've been a their moms a couple days I actually really enjoy my quiet. That's the only time I really feel any negative feelings about my living situation Last time I really felt that lonely I was married. Stikl often times wish I was less busy and could just have a whole day to chill here alone with my hobbies or do basically nothing | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/24 07:33 PM |
| 4 | Any stories of amicable separation?I'd definitely try the counselling route based on what you said I love my wife, she is a good person and a good mother Big reason you should really consider just working on the one you have. Probably a ton of divorced or even married people that wish they could say that don't seem to gel anymore and it makes dialy life really hard Be hard to imagine everybody doesn't feel that way at times. It's generally well past that point where you think they're not such a great person after all and argument… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/24 06:47 PM |
| 2 | Megan Fox offers her best advice to single women: Don't waste your energy on menEh I get what you mean but I honestly think it's just people getting kinda lazy with language and throwing common shaming words around without thinking of meaning. The idea is generally to make them feel inferior with the common 'well you can't get laid so nothing you say matters'. As if that just shuts down any argument because that's what a person's self worth comes down to. Sometimes they have zero issues getting laid, but they're just terrible human beings people are just happy to use and di… | /r/MensRights | 16/04/24 05:08 PM |
| 3 | Megan Fox offers her best advice to single women: Don't waste your energy on menAs I added to my post femcel is literally female incel further abbreviated. It was I my added because incel was already implied since origin to be men | /r/MensRights | 16/04/24 04:59 PM |
| 3 | Megan Fox offers her best advice to single women: Don't waste your energy on menYou clearly don't know the origin then. Incel literally stands for involuntarily celibate. Femcel is just the female version. Itw female incel abbreviated further And to regardless I'm pretty sure Megan Fox gets laid plenty her grievance is she can't get a decent one to commit | /r/MensRights | 16/04/24 04:56 PM |
| 1 | Megan Fox offers her best advice to single women: Don't waste your energy on menYou're not wrong. If you're willing to sleep with anything you prob could. In this case I think someone like Megan Fox would have a pretty long line of suitors still imo even with her looking faker all the time. She's just not someone that's ltr material | /r/MensRights | 16/04/24 04:54 PM |
| 2 | Megan Fox offers her best advice to single women: Don't waste your energy on menThis is the definition of femcel Is it though? The cel generally stands for celibate so i was under the impression it was related to sexual activity.... Imo you gotta come up with a different word if that's what you mean Edit: a bit of googling and femcel does indeed mean they can't get laid just like the male word. | /r/MensRights | 16/04/24 02:48 PM |
| 10 | Megan Fox offers her best advice to single women: Don't waste your energy on menEh to be fair femcel doesn't really fit imo. Pretty sure she can still get laid just fine. Finding and keeping an actual decent dude is another issue. This only irks me because incel is already thrown around way too much when it doesn't apply | /r/MensRights | 16/04/24 02:13 PM |
| 1 | Why do we seem so rare?It sounds about right and is what I'd approximate realistically, was just curious if anything to back it.up | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/24 01:40 PM |
| 4 | Why do we seem so rare?Weird anytime I go to a kids bday party it's only ever one parent with them here. I remember even seeing one of the dads after we dropped our kids off at school and knowing my situation he opened up how he had a tough period where he really had to set his wife straight and be was on the verge of leaving. Threw me for a loop cause I'd only ever briefly talked to him like a couple times briefly at bdays (often be like see ya at next one because several parties with same classmates) | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/24 04:27 AM |
| 1 | Why do we seem so rare?Yup..you find out that perfect family almost divorced and then you actually start to pick up in her disrespect and little cutting comments or body language once your eyes are a bit more open | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/24 04:25 AM |
| 1 | Why do we seem so rare?Is that an actual stat? I wouldn't be surprised tbh I'm just curious Unlike op I don't see happy couples everywhere. Most couples I know are just comfortable at best. Never see couples that seem inseparable or anything unless they're newly weds | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/24 04:22 AM |
| 0 | Divorced and nofap?Nobody is without sin except Jesus. The idea is when you choose to follow him you are filled with the spirit and a new creation with new desires, but you do war against the old ones. There is no way to earn your salvation aside from faith. You are a work in progress, one that won't be finished in this lifetime. You should start to display some fruits of the spirit, not as a requirement but just evidence a change has happened. Joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self control. And no… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/24 01:11 PM |
| 5 | AZ just made abortion illegalI agree a d I'm glad Canada doesnt currently have a draft. Absolutely right that nobody has the right to tell you to risk your life and/or take the life of another person. Screw that | /r/MensRights | 10/04/24 03:34 AM |
| 8 | AZ just made abortion illegalIt's always been wild to me how hard people will fight for the right to kill their unborn child. To just wipe their hands clean or the responsibility of the life growing inside of them and be ready to riot (but I'd kids are starving in another country or enslaved it's out of sight out of mind).. I get that getting accidentally pregnant is scary though, it's a bit responsibility (adoption is an option). I do think despite my moral objections the government doesn't really have the right to tell pe… | /r/MensRights | 10/04/24 12:35 AM |
| 0 | Divorced and nofap?It's a mix of both my own reluctance but also scripture. There are very few exceptions given for remarriage not being adultery to my understanding. Or at least that's my personal conviction along with the general idea of one flesh (no longer two but one) and it feeling silly making the same vows in front of God to yet another person. Additionally spouse is suppose to come after God and then children. I would rather focus on my kids than being someone from outside that's not their mom who is goin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/24 11:07 PM |
| 0 | Divorced and nofap?Yes. I'm a Christian and have been trying to abstain from it altogether. Be good for months then slip occasionally. Sometimes the beating yourself up can be detrimental even though you when to want to stop as well. Better to think time to start a new streak and see how long next one is. I can sorta relate. Wasn't unhealthy sexual habits as much as her seeing she's pregnant and done having kids and never even seeing her naked again. Held strong for a couple years I think but the rejection got to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/24 06:07 PM |
| 6 | I really appreciate my x wifeI don't wish any ill will towards her. Ive also learned my lesson. Just wish it didn't have to be the hard way and she kinda wasted my time and energy. Unlike you it was never real. She basically just settled and clock was ticking. I was used for 10 years and discarded basically a couple years before that once she was done with kids. Admitted to a lot of this actually, including marrying me with the hope she would grow to love me but not happening. So yeah naturally I feel used and if I was gonn… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/24 05:25 PM |
| 6 | Choosing singleIt's been around 3 years since I moved out (hunkered down for like a year after we started it around covid). Will see how it goes but so far I'm pretty satisfied with my peace and quiet. So far no real desire to seek out a relationship, just the odd time I see a beautiful women and my mind wanders a bit. Then I remember what it's like to allow one person to have so much sway over your time, money, self esteem, mental health etc. Its also against my faith (although many conveniently gloss over it… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/24 09:15 PM |
| 2 | Why are psychopathic men with antisocial tendencies, deemed as attractive to women.Some answers in here make perfect sense.. In cases I'd like to think are extreme (might just be naiive or optimistic) they are actually attached to murderers and law breakers .I'd like to think that's the exception. In terms of the more average case where narcissists and the like have more success.. I think of it like this. When you're the most important person and you could care less about what she thinks.. well approaching them and conversation is easy and you never have to deal with hesitatio… | /r/MensRights | 01/04/24 08:56 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else’s ex try to “get out in front” of your divorce?Mine did some of that before she even decided to pull the plug. The actual divorce part I manage to tell them months after Before that, it might have even been before she decided she wanted one she decided she had to basically let my parents know I'm not the angel they think I am. That she had to ruin that image. So she sent them an email with some grievances (we knew we had issues but don't think divorce had even been discussed much and bby all rights we were trying to work in things). Yeah the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/24 06:28 PM |
| 3 | Is your ex-wife better off after divorce?My oldest just turned 11 and I've been out of the house for around 3 years. But yeah she had to grow up way too fast and got exposed to some of it. My exes mom was abusive when she was a kid and still.has issues with her. Heck my ex MIL had some of her own siblings basically afraid to cross her | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/24 01:02 AM |
| 10 | Is your ex-wife better off after divorce?Possibly in some ways.. but that's only surface deep. She's got rich family so finances were never an issue, got somr job working for her doctor boyfriends clinic. Goes on multiple vacations a year...but is she happy? I dunno. The new guy is a bigger pushover than I am and think she's got her control over him. Not sure if that's actually satisfying for her. She has pushed away at least a couple friends since we split. I don't think she's really the type that will ever be satisfied. Our poor kids… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/24 09:33 PM |
| 6 | Why so many decent single men are singleWell my ex always told me about her toxic exes (should have run). She literally was willing to move overseas to be with her ex in eastern Ontario but told me he was abusive and moved out west. She friend zoned.me until I dated someone else (should have kept it that way) then suddenly wanted to try it. After second kid shut everything right down. Never saw her naked again. Managed to get her to admit to the fact she didn't love me when she married me, but I ticked all the boxes, was a decent guy,… | /r/MensRights | 23/03/24 06:12 PM |
| 14 | The term "loser" is gender specific.Yeah my sister has called my ex a loser and I've said the same. Even think I had my daughter say that (which when I'm in front of her I don't and generally tell her she shouldn't say those things about mom). But for the most part it is used for guys | /r/MensRights | 21/03/24 04:00 PM |
| 1 | Did I get "too good" of a deal in my divorce? Should I pay her back money she gave to me?Rules definitely different there. No way out of child support here with different incomes like that. Would be a few hundred. Extra curricular and health care would also be 66/33 based on that. That's about the only thing I would have expected differently. Everything else seems pretty standard imo. Not sure how Texas works and maybe she would when a case for that support and different ratio for those extra costs (she would here in Canada). No way would I offer to pay anything back unless state ex… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/24 05:55 PM |
| 3 | Cuckolded husband, 46, who put up with his wife's 'multiple affairs' finally snapped and punched her rugby-playing new lover OP: The wife cheats and the husband loses his house and childrenYeah that's pretty much the mindset you need to keep. Even her perception of being threatened is enough real or not | /r/MensRights | 19/03/24 05:47 PM |
| 5 | Cuckolded husband, 46, who put up with his wife's 'multiple affairs' finally snapped and punched her rugby-playing new lover OP: The wife cheats and the husband loses his house and childrenSociety definitely has this I almost wanna say double standard between the physical and emotional/verbal/bullying. I sorta understand because physical is in your face and the other is harder to prove, more subjective, invisible. The only way you'll ever be charged for being a complete pos and being verbally/emotionally abusive is when some guy kills himself and they find texts literally telling him to do it. You ever lose your cool and throw a slap or a pinch and you're in deep crap I feel like … | /r/MensRights | 19/03/24 04:41 PM |
| 4 | Cuckolded husband, 46, who put up with his wife's 'multiple affairs' finally snapped and punched her rugby-playing new lover OP: The wife cheats and the husband loses his house and childrenApparently if you're good at finding a decent partner you're in the minority. There are hr divorces, the ones that suffer through.. then there is a decent sized camp where their partner kinda nags them from time to time but they stay out of each other's way most of thr time and parent well enough together.. and it kinda works... Very few and far between at least from what I've observed genuinely feel lucky to be together. I can't say I know anybody in real life I'd put in this category. It's pos… | /r/MensRights | 19/03/24 04:35 PM |
| 3 | Do you want to find a new partner?Not really. Still attracted to them and like the idea of what it's supposed to be. I just find reality is often detached even when I look at others who are all struggling in their relationships. Actual upside is limited and lose so much. I'm so busy already with my kids, work.. volunteering with scouts in my kids age groups. I barely have time for the gym anymore and want to do more hiking. I jump online for some games with buds. I can't see where I'd really fit one into my life. I was almost al… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 06:01 AM |
| 6 | Why are you guys seriously dating shortly after divorce?You're right that some people are just codependent and don't enjoy their own company enough. Kinda sad because chances are it won't end well. Getting your stuff sorted first is a good thing. Also some people think with the little head too much. Honestly I don't even have time for a woman even if I wanted one. Spend a lot of time with my kids.. in addition to our normal shared days I have scouts (I'm a scouter) with each kid a different night if each week. My only frustration is I basically have … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/24 05:45 AM |
| 5 | The removed this post within 3 minutes lol: "The chores lie"Lol I was just commenting on this. Always the bs claim that dishes and vacuuming means she will suddenly want sex. I suspected if anything it might trend the other way | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/24 03:23 AM |
| 15 | The removed this post within 3 minutes lol: "The chores lie"Just like how they claim so many women don't sleep with their husbands because they're so tired of doing everything.. yet I'm almost positive when the husband does more around the house they'll be another reason. There are even husbands that do most of the work and I'd wager if anything they're getting less sex. The idea she will bang you if you do the dishes and vacuum has always been laughable lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/24 03:22 AM |
| 1 | My Favourite Part About the DivorceI've fully accepted life will be difficult until my kids leave home. Until that point I'll basically be pay cheque to pay cheque while she hangs out at home and collects. I'm attempting to inpute some income before we finish settling, but it will be min wage at the very most and it won't be worth the legal fees to go back regularly to increase her inputted wage. Got a little over six years in the oldest and four more on the youngest. I'll try not to think about it too much and enjoy the time I h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/24 06:26 PM |
| 3 | My Favourite Part About the DivorceIt depends what you mean by successful. I'm not the op though. By many metrics my ex is a loser who will probably never contribute to society or work a job. But if we are talking money I will be scraping and clawing for a small place a d and will hang out in her huge house. Not matter how hard I work the moment her grandmother or mother dies she'll be very wealthy but in the meantime I'm still paying her tons every month. She is so out of touch. I said something about summer if she wants to look… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/24 07:45 AM |
| 2 | She’s trying to move the kids away.. feeling helplessYeah she's got a real burden of proof to show budget, costs (can she live in a cheaper place?) and that she's employed up to the level she's capable of (obviously this one's somewhat subjective) before it's even any kind of consideration and then there would have to be a consideration also for a mutually agree place with a lower cost. Perhaps a bedroom community nearby. Simply saying it's too expensive and I have to move cross country isn't good enough. And then it's why should they move with th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/24 07:04 PM |
| 2 | She’s trying to move the kids away.. feeling helplessNo idea why the default for moving kids away from mutually agreed place to raise them isnt that the other parent is sol. They can move bit they'll do so alone. Problem with family courts is that it costs far too much to entertain nonsense. She should have to prices significant evidence of extenuating circumstances before your legal fees even start. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/24 03:55 PM |
| 6 | Are our brains wired differently?Yeah I saw the thread and was like wait.. people actually thought this? I thought it was more or less common knowledge that men and women are wired differently in some ways. I'm pretty sure some of these commonly noted differences show in different times in history and if you look at remote villages | /r/MensRights | 26/02/24 07:50 PM |
| 2 | How you guys fucked up in your marriages?Yeah I dunno. My parents were very loving and supportive. My dad worked gov job and made all my sports events and took me to tournaments. My dad and I were both bigger dudes into contact sports and stuff but I did have a sensitive side. I was always more quiet and shy and the contemplative type. Also laid back though..I learned from a very young age a lot of battles just weren't wortj fighting. On the other hand I'm used to people being reasonable and I think being a bigger dude people gave me r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/24 05:31 AM |
| 2 | How you guys fucked up in your marriages?I read a bit but tbh it never clicked with me. I don't particularly like the assumption we are kind to people for some kind of reward. Whatever happened to the idea of just treating others how you'd wanna be treated? It's not dependent on anything in return. It honestly just bothers me if I mistreat someone. I guess the reward would be not feeling like an ass. It often just comes down to empathy and being able to put yourself in the other shoes. For that I'm not ashamed in the slightest. I would… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 04:40 PM |
| 2 | How you guys fucked up in your marriages?Yeah mine had childhood issues as well. I also bent over backwards trying to be the guy she wanted. Never was enough. Turned out surprise. Never loved me..was pretty obvious when she got pregnant the second time and completely shut down. Realized looking back things only ever seemed good when she wanted something and crappy behaviour started right after. Admitted she hop d when we married she'd grow to love me. Asked about this other friend who started showing up again and why didn't you pick hi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 04:08 PM |
| 5 | How you guys fucked up in your marriages?Honestly just shouldnt have married her. should have realized some things were not part of a normal healthy relationship. She admits when she married me she didn't love me but hoped to over time. Definitely rushed into it | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 02:19 PM |
| 1 | Is giving up custody my only option?And I thought it had it bad... Damn. I'm about 80k in, she fired a couple lawyers (well aslo had one at start she hired them never had) and forced out hand to switch arbitrators (wish I hadn't but some things she said about my ex may have got her dismissed after spending more money). Also has unlimited money from family. But you've definitely got me beat. She eventually coming around to roughly equal custody.. still wants to sign kids.uo for everything and have me pay even when I say I don't wan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/24 10:06 PM |
| 2 | Is it okay to talk to another woman during 12 month separation & couples therapy?Forget legal reasons. You're hurt and vulnerable and thinking mostly with the little head. You aren't likely to be making clear headed decisions right now. Give yourself at least a year or more imo after you've moved out. Otherwise you're likely to make some really dumb decisions imo. No offense but it's kinda revealing when people can't just be alone for a while and have some self control. It shows they aren't in a good place, codependent etc. and need that time to snap out of it. Have to stand… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/24 04:10 PM |
| 6 | I'm glad I took the high road.No reason to let them live in your head rent free. Holding onto bitterness doesn't hurt them at all, it only hurts your yourself. I'm pretty sure in of the reasons my ex has health problems is due to her high conflict type of personality and her unforgiveness combined with not taking care of herself | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/24 06:35 PM |
| 2 | Left wife 3 weeks agoIt's possible cluster B runs in their family. I'm pretty sure it runs in my exes family as I've put it together over the years and seems to run in the women for some reason. Now I'm seeing similar types of behaviour with my daughter being mean to my son and I worry. She's been assessed and early indications say conduct disorder or odd but those things often later hey updates to bpd and such. That stuff often a combo of genetics and abusive upbringing (both related obviously). Some of the outburs… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 09:10 PM |
| 5 | Single Divorced Men, how are you dealing with the void on Valentine's day?Can't say I really felt much of a void. Was just like any other day and didn't have to jump through hoops. Can't say valentines day generally held good memories even when I was married. After scouts I did think to myself everyone else is having a nice meal so I'll get a little desert to treat myself and play some fallout I actually have a buddy I am close enough with to joke about lack of sex in marriage and stuff and who was around when I seen through my divorce. I texted him some message about… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 06:46 AM |
| 3 | Cautionary tale, watch each others backs!Ah fair enough. Most of the time 'the most amazing woman" is generally word for word and it's often famous last words type of thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 05:24 PM |
| 3 | Cautionary tale, watch each others backs!Yeah I always wince when I hear a guy freshly divorced who says he supposedly met this woman who is so amazing and unlike any they've ever met. Like ok hope it works out, but everyone thinks that on the rebound | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 04:58 PM |
| 3 | Got called petty and sad for this portion of our divorce papersSounds reasonable. My lawyer siss to write a list of important stuff around the house. My ex got really detailed with what she wanted to give and I didn't mind. I pretty much just accepted it to keep things moving. You're right that it doesn't hurt to be detailed so there isnt any bickering later as long as you don't let it big you down. Most of that can be sorted between tth two of you directly and just have the final result in agreement | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 04:15 PM |
| 5 | Wife and lover not working outand now if I turn her down and she starts dating men that would really bother me to another level…. The fact that's even any consideration is a huge problem. You said she is a cheater. Your only response if other guy start checking that it is "lol good luck with that bro." You said your life is better without her. Why wouldn't their lives be better with her as well? You also shouldn't be making decisions out of any kind of jealousy or fear.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 09:27 PM |
| 1 | For those thinking about getting remarriedHmm I spent about 5 mins going through several posts mentioning husbands and similar. Tbh I didn't think any of it was out of line it their side was to be believed. Don't care to waste much more time looking for something incriminating | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 07:10 PM |
| 2 | For those thinking about getting remarriedThe amount of women who are using their husbands would shock so many guys We had our rough patches but convinced me enough she was trying to have #2 kid. After she got her + test I never saw her naked again. Pretty much said it all. One gal knew her entire 12 year marriage, said she never loved him. Was close to 10 years when we started our divorce. I basically got her to admit she never really loved me. She supposedly didn't even we married, thought she should stop dating, and hoped she'd grow … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 07:00 PM |
| 1 | Do I pay alimony even though wife refuses to work?It IS nuts. No way are you not the ahole to bail on the mother of your young kids because she won't work, yet if you don't you often pay for it down the road. Like who wouldn't want to just stop working and stay home with the kids? I mean to top things off she still sent them to preschool at least a couple days a week anyways. Then it also become a he said she said.. oh you wanted me to stay home. Yeah I loved not having much left over after working all kinds of overtime just so you could send t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 02:49 PM |
| 1 | “Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman”Unfortunately it gets drowned out by trad cucks and simps. The bible had lots of warnings but for some reason we only ever pay attention to what a virtuous woman looks like as if we all get one by default (somehow miss the fact it compares them to rare gems). We also think stuff like holding frame or bring Godly will make everything work out. King David came back from battle dancing and his first love was like that's not how a real man should act ans it implies they never had sex again after | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/24 03:46 PM |
| 1 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedWell some would simply leave. It depends a lot on whether you are religious or not, how literal you took your vows. Personally grew up believing divorce was something you avoided if at all possible (still do) and I personally don't believe in remarriage. It wasn't let her go and spin the wheel again/trade her in for another. It was work with what I have especially since kids were involved Well no longer anything I have to worry about again | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/24 01:18 AM |
| 1 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedSure but they can just as easily hold their ground. At some point you reach a stalemate and you either decide you can't accept it and leave them over it or you agree to disagree | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/24 03:38 PM |
| 1 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedWhat do you guys even mean by allow? It's not like you can force them to apply for jobs or to go to the office my ex got laid off due to a slow down about a year in and then had an accident on a horse where she was shaken up pretty good. Could not convince her to apply for jobs and she was the type to do the whole my back is still messed up I can't sit in an office chair etc. I'm fact she even got a doctor to write a note when our kids were young to get gov to pay part of childcare saying she ca… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/24 04:18 PM |
| 2 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedAnd? I'm guessing most of us are in this sub because either is or our exes didn't really care about every expectation trh other had. My ex rarely was ever very considerate of expectations I communicated very clearly. Kinda forces you either regretfully accept that they won't Listen or you leave | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/24 05:19 AM |
| 1 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedId say look at inputting min wage. There is no reason she can't do that for herself. Since you guys are older might not be able to do much more than that. But there is zero reason she can't find a minimum wage job. My lawyer and I are going to arbitration to have min wage inputted to ex next month. Zero reason for them to have a free ride | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/24 04:23 AM |
| 3 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedAlways blows me away when people get out through the ringer and say let's do that again. This one is different, I just got unlucky.. just like so many other guys...along with most people's second and third marriages (to be fair ie don't notice how long it has been for op.. maybe he took his time).. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/24 04:19 AM |
| 4 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedThe problem is you can't force them. So you're stuck with id they really don't want to go back to work and always have a reason they can't or don't want to do you divorce them? Say that's the ultimatum. You work or I'm gone? I think most guys don't like such ultimatums.. I'm sure it's fine if they were to do it.. you go girl, don't stay with a deadbeat...yet if a guy did it he'd be the worst of the worst. I dunno..i think it's just against the way guys are conditioned But yea objectively when it… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/24 04:14 AM |
| 2 | Why aren’t we even given a chance?We all have different experiences. Wasn't long into it before mine started complaining but then things would look better, we would have a kid and then nothing but complaints and repeat. Maybe made it easier in some ways when she did leave..no matter how much I tried to understand her and measure up it was never enough s d goal posts just moved | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 04:17 AM |
| 1 | My ex has spent $1,500 trying to fight me for $5,000 she owes my in child support.How did you even manage to get her to take a psych eval or was there some type of court order? Mine never did any wrong and it was always everyone else that was toxic or needed to be fixed. She even convinced docs both my kids have ADHD without any actual full assessment and neither talked to me. They might but I'd rather know for sure... It would really help with my daughter if they knew what mom had going on. Managed to talk to one therapist and mention a couple things but not with the diagnos… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/24 06:07 PM |
| 1 | My ex has spent $1,500 trying to fight me for $5,000 she owes my in child support.Damn you've got me beat. My ex is only on #4 (first one never even met, it was in and out) | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/24 06:03 PM |
| 8 | After your divorce did you realize that women added little or a lot to your life?I'm sure id you choose carefully and wisely some value can be added. Im just bit convinced it's enough to offset the risk of everything going to crap if she changes or was hiding her true self for a while. I don't know anyone where I really wish I had what they have. More like hey they seem to work alright as a team and don't get in each other's way too much | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/24 10:38 PM |
| 10 | Be honest did anybody cheat at their bachelor party if so to what extent?Yeah Im 37 (technically a millenial still) she's 45 though. And yeah I laugh at passport bros thinking marrying a non western woman solves everything. She ended.up being bpd who was always had no self awareness to ever think she was a problem it was everyone else. That's not where it ends though. I realized pretty quickly after spending more time around the family that that her mother and her fee sisters were all dragons (chinese term seems appropriate) that dominated and discarded all the men t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 11:28 PM |
| 30 | Be honest did anybody cheat at their bachelor party if so to what extent?Went with a few buds to a family fun center where we did laser tag and some arcade games (player through all of time crisis 2 with one buddy). No idea why you want to watch strippers when you're marrying what you think is the woman of your dreams. Unfortunately I wasn't the man of her dreams. Just a means to an end. Put up with me until she was done having kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/24 10:48 PM |
| 3 | Bac together..Not op lol. I'm agreeing with you. Is it sloppy seconds or sloppy thirds when you've passed her to someone else and then back again? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/24 05:45 PM |
| 2 | Bac together..Oh I'm not op. Was just agreeing with your comment. You can't trust that woman.. and at some point the idea of passing her to another guy then taking her back.. other dude prob laughing | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/24 05:44 PM |
| 5 | Have men turned their backs on fatherhood and marriage? What about you? What do you think?I'd say the main benefit to getting married/having kids is giving your life a sense of meaning and purpose. See I had lots of purpose before I married and lost a lot of it after I was married. Pretty much rediscovering it after she left although yes a bit part of it is being a good father. Marriage was mostly just putting out fires and not having time and extra energy to be intentional about things Also it makes sense why they would stay out of each others way, "absence makes the heart grow fond… | /r/MensRights | 17/01/24 05:42 PM |
| 3 | Bac together..Yeah crazy isn't it? Obviously vows don't really mean anything Even the bible, which generally encourages reconciliation, says you should not take a spouse back after she remarried. Says she has been defiled and it is detestable in the eyes of the lord. Deuteronomy 24 if anyone is interested. Oh and that's even the guy sending her away, not her deciding to break her vows twice. Tons of fish in the sea I'd you really feel you want to try again... Familiarity and fear of the unknown isn't a good r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/24 05:15 PM |
| 7 | Have men turned their backs on fatherhood and marriage? What about you? What do you think?The problem is you can only make an educated guess until push comes to shove. Nobody thinks when they put the ring in they're going to be disloyal, or 'fall out or love' or suddenly stop working and demands go up, etc. Having a good, loyal wife is one of the most valuable things you can have in this world. Honestly from the people I know that generally found one I don't feel it's as valuable as people say. Being married I'd still kind of a pain in the butt for those people and most upside seems … | /r/MensRights | 17/01/24 04:55 PM |
| 1 | Supplemental Income Post DivorceYes, at least in Canada. There is a time set every year to review it. Always based on the taxes you file unless it's suspected you're hiding income then it's gets a lot more complicated | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/01/24 10:00 PM |
| 9 | USA: OnlyFans model Courtney Clenney is seen hitting boyfriend Christian Obumseli in video taken weeks before she stabbed him to death in Miami apartment.Tbh it triggers memories. It probably does for a lot of guys, especially if you've ever been involved with a bpd type... Kinda makes you wonder | /r/MensRights | 15/01/24 11:03 PM |
| 6 | How many of you got arrested during your divorce?Almost. They showed up, calmly opened the door and let them in, they could see she was unharmed and that I was in a reasonable mindset. Did a bit of good cop, bad cop, put me in car, talked to her, then let me out after a few mins and asked if I could forgive her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/24 03:50 PM |
| 8 | How Much Divorce Has Cost Me FinanciallyI make about the same as you. It's been over 3 years and have spent closer to $80k (Canadian) and should be a few k for this last arbitration here. Unbelievable the tens of thousands you can spend pussy footing around and not accomplishing anything.that and changing lawyers on her end a couple times and insisting we had to change mediator/arbitrator. Definitely gave her a huge chunk of money as well (probably similar, was complicated with her family money in the pot, but she got 2/3 of our wealt… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/24 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Actress Nia Long to get $32,500 per month in child support from NBA coach ex-fianceThe Texas of Canada (Alberta) | /r/MensRights | 12/01/24 06:48 AM |
| 6 | This is why women experience nosedive in romantic love while men don't. OP: Blaming men because women fall out of love after marriage. More male hate.Create work for herself so she could later complain how busy she was. Well tbh she was just the type that could never be satisfied with anything. Nothing was ever quite right. Always selling old furniture, buying second hand furniture and making pickups, always rearranging things. At one point she was even buying second hand furniture and refinishing them either to keep or resell for no profit etc. of course I'd get dragged in sometimes. I mean she even changed each of the kids preschool/daycare… | /r/MensRights | 11/01/24 07:09 PM |
| 48 | This is why women experience nosedive in romantic love while men don't. OP: Blaming men because women fall out of love after marriage. More male hate.I can't recall a man ever saying he fell out of love, didn't want sex etc. because he was too stressed out or the other one not carrying their weight or anything like that. Shows how different we are in some ways. We tend to just internalize it all. This all falls short in mine. My ex stayed at home, even sent kids to preschool/daycare, when I got home she's so overwhelmed that she goes upstairs on her laptop and they're mine til they go to sleep. The exception is if therr is something that need… | /r/MensRights | 10/01/24 10:48 PM |
| 4 | Actress Nia Long to get $32,500 per month in child support from NBA coach ex-fianceI agree we do have bigger fish to fry. Doesn't seem to affect him too much. At some point there should be a cap, like those guys paying hundred of thousands a month. Mom doesn't need to be rich because a rich guy knocked her up. Tens of thousands a month is where your kid won't really want for anything. You're right that we should be focused on guys handing over half a pay cheque or more every month... Heck my ex just reached out for more calling me a deadbeat while not working but living in a b… | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 01:27 AM |
| 2 | Actress Nia Long to get $32,500 per month in child support from NBA coach ex-fianceFrom a % standpoint it's not that bad. I only wish mine was 7% if my income. Just don't need that much to raise a kid. I agree that most guys get it worse. Possibly because she makes her own money. I pay 25% of my pay roughly (granted I have 2). I pay an extra 350 a month for extra curricular stuff.. and any medical is on top of that (like their ADHD meds I'm not even convinced they have but she talked the doc into) | /r/MensRights | 07/01/24 01:13 AM |
| 3 | Let's Stop Being Simp!I'd hope this is the type of group where we wouldn't have regular supporters as it is | /r/MensRights | 02/01/24 05:46 AM |
| 3 | Sexual IncompabilityNgl I always felt more horny when I went to the gym more regularly. Probably the increase in testosterone | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/24 09:50 PM |
| 3 | How bad did your retirement accounts get a shellacking during your divorce?Didn't lose any of it, but she got the fully paid house so... Yeah unique situation where a lot of family money mixed in. She still feels I stole from her cause I took a small payout in addition to my retirement savings and some in a tax free account. All in all she still got 2/3 of everything | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/24 09:31 PM |
| 5 | Does wife making more than husband contribute to relationship issues?Personally being wealthy is definitely lower on my priority list , always has been. Just want a modest and simple life in a small place with a little extra in case of emergencies that come up. Especially since my divorce work is just work. It's added that much extra perspective. Would generally rather spend time with my kids than work overtime unless they're with their mom, but even then I'd rather use the time to catch up with things while I'm free | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 10:20 PM |
| 4 | Does wife making more than husband contribute to relationship issues?A lot of the time I think it's just better to make enough to live comfortably within your own means and to heck with them. Saddling up with them often just means you'll constantly just be trying to make more and more to appease their lifestyle. Barring that hopefully you find one who is more down to earth and doesn't need that huge house or too materialistic | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 09:06 PM |
| 8 | Does wife making more than husband contribute to relationship issues?That's awful dude. Blaming you when you try to tighten down the budget saying you don't make enough when you really don't want any of that. I sorta faced some similar attitude probably more after divorce than before... But she stopped working a year into marriage. She had rich family though. I really didn't like feeling in their debt but she would take money from them and pay down mortgage. Anytime I mentioned going back to work that was always her contribution....but always looked down in me fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 09:02 PM |
| 1 | Dying alone... We shouldn't be scared of that.I grew up with all of my relatives on the other side of the country, my kids are growing up the same after my parents retired back there. My kids are already talking about living in another country when they grow up. There is no guarantees... You can hope you die before your partner I guess? Or hope there is enough warning that family came all fly in. That's about it. I agree why live your whole life worrying about your last moments. Especially when it may not turn out like you planned. Your fri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 08:45 PM |
| 21 | I feel like being a “good husband” is the worst job on Earth.I also found it incredible the amount of effort you spend trying to make them happy only for it to never be good enough. Not just that but if it was ever good enough then a year later it's definitely not anymore. Goal posts always moving. But just the sheer amount of your time and energy just to appease them, to convince them you're worth keeping around. The other thing that blew me away is how by yourself you can go years with a fairly predictable life and few if any fires to put out.. somehow … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 04:50 PM |
| 4 | She is going to have to work for the first time in her life hahahaYeah my ex doesn't... Big fight just to inpute min wage to her so I'm not carrying quite as much (that and her rich family/doctor bf). I think she retired at like 33 and will prob b fairly wealthy once grandma passes. Definitely when her mom does | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/23 01:17 AM |
| 2 | Why do some people here like Jordan Peterson so much? I think he is part of the problem, he seems like another tradcon who tries to force gender roles etcYeah prudence is still important. What you are talking about specifically are calculated risks | /r/MensRights | 23/12/23 06:37 PM |
| 1 | Why do some people here like Jordan Peterson so much? I think he is part of the problem, he seems like another tradcon who tries to force gender roles etcThat's odd.. my ex and I were completely switched in that sense. Im very risk adverse and feel too many people have to learn things the hard way. On the other hand she had to learn everything the hard way But in average I suppose you could be correct | /r/MensRights | 23/12/23 05:16 PM |
| 2 | After 14 months...Sock DayOh who knows whether she did or not. I suspect the biggest motivator with these lump sum mediators I'd wrapping it up as fast as possible. That means you lean most heavily on the more reasonable person instead of any actual concept of fairness. I'm sure she met my ex and thought no way is she going to compromise on anything. I even see some of that from the latest arbitrator (first one saw through all the tears and basically said she needs to grow up... That's why she wanted that one off the cas… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/23 05:57 PM |
| 10 | After 14 months...Sock DayYeah my experience not so much. My ex found a mediator who was not actually a lawyer. had taken some course in financial separation and I feel like maybe paid her extra behind the scenes. I was basically going to walk away with almost nothing and just be a visitor to my kids. Was complicated because her rich family money got mixed into the pot. Read reviews later someone complaining same thing. Was night and day when I started actually consulting lawyers (mediator had claimed she had lawyer frie… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/23 04:02 PM |
| 4 | STBX skipped court ordered mediation and todays status update court date with the judge. I'm pissed off. Still no closure.Ask the court to mandate that the only way you two are to communicate is through a family app like Our Family Wizard. It keeps your communication to a minimum and eliminates the aimless harassment. We actually had our mediator put that in. She didn't want to use ofw so insisted on this other one. I was reluctant but eventually said ok but only if we don't use those other functions (like oh boy free mediation remotely). She then made some excuse her phone was too old and don't work with it. So ye… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/23 07:23 PM |
| 1 | Yesterday was our final trial. It's such a huge weight off my shoulders.Depends. I honestly wish it was easy to ask for a trial here. As expensive as it is prob still would have been cheaper. Had asked a few times and was always a mixture of courts being backed up during covid, the fact they want to see you tru mediation, the fact you apparently can't just ask for a trial for all of your issues (apparently they ask wants outstanding and may assign a different process for each item), the fact it was at least a year, was also told things like custody judges don't make… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/23 06:40 PM |
| 10 | Scientists are on the verge of a male birth-control pill. Will men take it?They don't even acknowledge that. She says birth control only ever lies with the female. So she's completely forgotten about condoms | /r/MensRights | 19/12/23 06:07 PM |
| 1 | Divorce Realization: When friends get re-married, it sure looks like a good idea at THE TIME... But...Only explanation is that he's letting his little head do the thinking. That's only explanation why someone gets burned badly then turns around and does it again. The women.. I dunno. Some just live in a fantasy world and haven't grown up | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/23 03:33 PM |
| 1 | Men who pay Child Support - What do you pay per month?I hope so. It's up to the arbitrator. Our day is Jan 11. In the past he has seemed kinda on the weak side. He seemed ready to go to bat with me at reducing way too many extra curricular then changed his tune the next meeting. Her last offer was her income as 15k this year and a little more until 30k the year 2030 which is rediculous. Oldest would be off to school and she'd be early 50s. She has a university education in business and marketing | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/23 02:15 PM |
| 1 | Scientists are on the verge of a male birth-control pill. Will men take it?What if you accidentally get someone pregnant though... | /r/MensRights | 19/12/23 02:14 PM |
| 7 | Scientists are on the verge of a male birth-control pill. Will men take it?90% is a shit rate if you're banking on hopefully having children. That sounds like best case scenario. 65% is far worse still. Nobody would knowingly get a vasectomy with those odds of they thought they might have kids later | /r/MensRights | 19/12/23 05:29 AM |
| 29 | Scientists are on the verge of a male birth-control pill. Will men take it?Yeah nobody wants to be guinea pigs | /r/MensRights | 19/12/23 05:26 AM |
| 103 | Scientists are on the verge of a male birth-control pill. Will men take it?Yeah apparently doesn't realize condoms are even a thing to start | /r/MensRights | 19/12/23 05:26 AM |
| 14 | Men who pay Child Support - What do you pay per month?Canada 2 kids 91k (well it's 103 now but will be recalculated June). Hers she claims is like 5k but she didn't report the nearly 30k form exchange students she gets. Also deducted way too much for expenses in her hobby business. She's basically commiting tax fraud. Has been irrelevant to this point as I was at like 35% which means her income counts as 0, no offset. Trying to inpute now that we are 60/40 or more Alimony considered paid more than 100k. Just based on her keeping the paid off house.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/23 04:43 AM |
| 3 | I stopped talking to my daughter because of her onlyfansI struggle to see why men need women after they have children. Yeah.. being a single father I am asking myself that same question. The only advantage I can think for marriage is kids and id you're religious because you're horny and want to have sex. The second part is it worth it? As you get older your hormones rage a little less as well. I'd also never want to put anyone except the kids own mother (if still in a loving marriage) before them so don't understand dating as a single dad either. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/23 11:04 PM |
| 2 | Party Invitations…Ex-wife on E-mail ListTbh I can't think of any friends I have that didn't basically to no contact with her the moment we divorced. Even the couple I can think of where his wife had sorta hung out with her once or twice without husband's around even said they haven't talked to her since. Only thing j can think of is a couple that invites kids to bday party and it's just based on who has the kids that day. Could be partially due to us not being cordial I guess... But it seems bizarre they would just invite both of you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/23 07:32 PM |
| 1 | Girlfriend attacks, both arrestedBeen there done it. They showed up, made comments like oh you send really calm and rational, we expected to come to a bad scene, she doesn't have a mark on her. Grilled mr a bit with some good cop, bad cop type stuff. Made a note in file and left. Asked if I could forgive her before doing so. If you run they will find you at some point and you look guilty as heck. If there is any kind of warrant you've made things far worse. Never run from law enforcement and always be up front with them | /r/MensRights | 15/12/23 04:31 PM |
| 2 | Girlfriend attacks, both arrestedHonestly this is terrible advice. Evading the law both looks bad (especially if you haven't done much) and is likely to get you in even more trouble when they inevitably catch you. Waiting patiently and calmly explaining the situation when they arrive and see you are a rational person and they have no marks is the best step forward | /r/MensRights | 15/12/23 04:05 PM |
| 2 | So some women see eugenics and genetic cleansing as a way to lessen harmful men..01% of men or less ever commit violent crime let alone shooting but get your shit together men.. like yeah us 99.99 will just cure mental illness. I'll get right on that. | /r/MensRights | 15/12/23 03:33 PM |
| 3 | Why should I have to marry down and be a provider?Mixed feelings.. definitely better than the divorce easy lady, but damn do lawyers waste a lot of time here just posturing and telling you you can't just go to court, have to try mediation and stuff first, tneg will only assign judge for one particular issue, not entire thing etc. Some of it was covid basking everything right up too i. Sure. Then they spend so much time sending offer, counter offer, etc. so much of it you don't need any legal training for at all. Just really for procedures and p… | /r/MensRights | 15/12/23 07:39 AM |
| 4 | Why should I have to marry down and be a provider?That's just child support, braces, extra curricular. Alimony we consider paid lump sum in full (at least 100k) because she kept the fully paid house. There was a fair bit of family money involved on her side but she still got a significantly larger portion of our total assets. She still thought I stole that money that she had to pay. She literally thought I should only take my retirement savings and what I had in my tax free account. She was pushing for alimony on top for a while til I ditched h… | /r/MensRights | 15/12/23 07:26 AM |
| 3 | Could STBX force me to pay for BAC program?My ex stayed home and didn't work. She wanted time to 'run errands ' and had my son in daycare and then an after school program. I protested on the fact she didn't work and didn't need it. I was asked if I'd ever used it. I said I dropped him off the odd Friday because mom didn't want that time with the kids and was told I had to pay 75%.... So yeah be ready for anything | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/23 08:30 PM |
| 10 | Why should I have to marry down and be a provider?Its so aggravating.. you sob! You are hurting me and thr kids by having to involve lawyers etc.. well you're out of touch with reality.. no way we resolve without. She literally thinks she should just hang out at home while I continue to be the breadwinner despite leaving me lol. I'm not your husband. She's living comfortable and I'm pay cheque to pay cheque. Child support is literally pushing me just out of home owning range and with all the legal fees and rising prices last couple years she ma… | /r/MensRights | 14/12/23 03:10 PM |
| 17 | Why should I have to marry down and be a provider?Unfortunately letting (yes letting.. some feminists would lose their shit seeing that word... not sure how you force someone to work, never could, but staying home is never even an option for us generally) them stay at home and look after the kids is pretty much the worst thing you could ever do in event of things going south. Ex has went through multiple lawyers, we switched arbitrators, etc. and spent way too much in legls fees. She's dragging it out further because she won't agree to have any… | /r/MensRights | 14/12/23 02:52 PM |
| 1 | What is your opinion on the gender pain gap?Yeah I really think it varies person to person and most professionals know if they don't take it seriously they can be in real trouble. Man my ex was a hypochondriac that always had something wrong with her. Occasionally she was right, after all she didn't take care of herself at all.. but many time they do their due diligence and she would basically be fine. Like ambulance and hospital trip that turned out to just be a panic attack and her getting worked up. | /r/MensRights | 08/12/23 10:56 PM |
| 4 | How many of you have had an amicable divorce?Yup. The worst is my ex doesn't work (makes a fee k a year form a little hobby) but she has rich family. She complains about legal costs but has no concept of the value of a dollar. She cares more about winning at no regard to cost and is happy to see me suffer. As much as she complains I'm pretty sure her rich family bankrolls it all. It's been over 3 years and now that we are share custody we are asking as a very basic bare minimum that we input 32k a year to her as income since that is minimu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/23 10:43 PM |
| 2 | Costs?$70k for me over 100k for her and hoping we can somehow get this resolved soon. It's so damn frustrating how one person can drag it out and theres not a damn thing you can really do about it if they don't care about costs. She switched lawyers a couple times, did the false accusations thing, ran off to a shelter one time, made us switch mediator/arbitrator erf. If we have to do arbitration for this last stuff the retainer was supposed to be 15k each but I think our scope has been reduced a lot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/23 04:07 PM |
| 6 | An Analogy for "Having sex can lead to a child therefore you made your decision when you decided to have sex"Yeah I pretty much have always had the same attitude. I mean Im also religious but even when I was in my rebellious phase deciding what I believed I always had this mentality. I've always assume if I had sex with someone they could get pregnant. It's just a matter of odds. Soemtimes you roll a few ones in a row. I've never thought it was a good idea to have sex with someone you couldn't ever see yourself raising a kid with if it should come to it (you might say co-parent with but imo not a fair … | /r/MensRights | 06/12/23 09:01 PM |
| 5 | Do you think divorce is contageius?Eh I dunno. I was like the only one in my group if friends to go through divorce. My circle tends to be against it as many friends are also people of faith. I do know my one buddy who isn't a Christian was getting really frustrated and considering it.. he's generally a family guy like i was and always encouraged me to try and lay some ground rules and be firm with her (and by the end he's like you know what screw it . She's a witch).. he ended up having a very firm talk with her and expectations… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/23 11:35 PM |
| 0 | The man always has to be in the wrong huh?That's definitely different. Only hearing your side of the story, but it's definitely possible they just did something shitty like you said and you aren't to blame. Humans are complicated and without knowing any of them there are reasons they could have hitched their wagon with mom. Tough to say. She could have put on the water works and pretended to.be destitute or whatever. I'm still worried about my own daughter based on how she treats her brother (far beyond just sibling bickering) and the f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 10:56 PM |
| 6 | The man always has to be in the wrong huh?You didn't mention that age I'd your kids. My daughter was still 7 when I moved out and she had a lot of anger towards me and blurted out soemthing mom told her. Well I normally don't like to discuss these things but has to give my side in this case. I mostly kept silent and not discuss stuff about her mom and I. Her mom kept bad mouthing me and I believe early even had her acting out when she was with me to try and get me to make a mistake. Eventually she caught kn and started telling her thera… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 10:40 PM |
| 3 | My (28M) wife (24F) won’t stop bringing up the past. Any help?Thr thing is she always brags about visiting lio 30 countries by 25 or soemthing. She's done tons of travelling but wants to be an exception to every rule. Very entitled, always a victim, has insane disproportionate responses. Would keep me up to 2am on a work night with this stuff. Learned about personality disorders by the end. Her mom is npd to a T and she's definitely bpd.. And yeah nothing was ever good enough so she left a few years ago. Life is much simpler these days | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 04:41 PM |
| 2 | My (28M) wife (24F) won’t stop bringing up the past. Any help?Oh she spoke up. Her original request was you should go ask her why I wasn't invited to her birthday when many others were (a large group of us in young adults church group). Tbh I didn't even know her that well myself and was saying it's ok I don't need to go, I'll stay with you. I said I didn't think it was appropriate and said you know if you feel so strongly and have unresolved issues you should ask to speak to her sometime to clear the air.. kept insisting and even wanted to bring others in… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 03:54 PM |
| 10 | Anyone ever feel like never wanting a relationship again?Yeah I also never want one person to hold so much sway over how up or down I feel and my mental health. Takes years to recover from a bad marriage. Nothing brings you down faster when you are talked down and seen as basically worthless by someone who is supposed to be your biggest fan. I've always been a fairly steady unshakeable type throughout my life. Cautiously optimistic..seen as laid back. Always a contemplative type.. but one person can mess all that up. The types of inner conversations I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:57 PM |
| 9 | My (28M) wife (24F) won’t stop bringing up the past. Any help?Every time I got into an argument she'd go over the long list of everything I ever did to offend her over the last several years. I put up with that shit for 10 years and it never got any better. She even brought up soemthing when we were just dating about the fact I didn't confront someone that didn't invite her to their birthday. Marriage flat out can't work without forgiveness. This is definitely a her issue and needs to talk someone about it. Can't be holding grudges for years ins. Marriage.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:38 PM |
| 21 | Anyone ever feel like never wanting a relationship again?I'm staying single and celibate for two main reasons. I'm religious and don't believe in second marriages. Also I just don't feel the juice is worth the squeeze. Especially since I already have two kids. We tend to idealize marriage and the dream we are sold is a lie. Reality is perhaps slightly better than being single if everything works out perfectly. Kind of depends on the person. Everyone I know 'happily married ' it's debatable. They work well as a team and enjoy their children.. otherwise… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:30 PM |
| 3 | “How Can I Be a Victim When I Have children?” Abused Men’s Perceptions of Their Children’s Exposure to Domestic ViolenceMy daughter has a bad dynamic with her younger brother. We are hoping therapy can help and may be dealing with an adjustment disorder (hopefully doesn't end up with a personality disorder.. I believe her mom and grandma both do). I've worried that she may be modelling behaviour she saw from her mother towards me.. although it's also very possible she's also on trh wrong end of stuff from mom. | /r/MensRights | 28/11/23 11:51 PM |
| 8 | Confused - Divorcing but love each otherHard to pull someone back when they're already checked out. Sadly I don't think she will likely find what she's looking for. Maybe it will seem that way for the first few years | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 06:05 PM |
| 9 | Confused - Divorcing but love each otherDid you guys try counselling? Sounds like there is plenty to salvage there. Can't imagine divorcing when both parties still care about each other like that. Sounds like just some work involved if you're both willing to put some in. Not sure she's going to have much luck in her next endeavour as she may need to adjust expectations of a relationship that lasts several years | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 05:49 PM |
| 1 | Love being a dad. Not sure I love being a husband.Looks like we are finally there... I had to fight years and spend tens of thousands to get there. She cried as soon as our first mediation started and stayed in that room. Financial wasn't going as good as she hoped so started embellishing a coupoe things to make me sound abusive. Was told she would be in trouble if it was false and they'd have a psychologist talk to kids. No surprise that everything was ok except mom talked too much about money around kids since she owed me some for the house. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/23 08:30 PM |
| 6 | Love being a dad. Not sure I love being a husband.I'm the same way. What I did previously was basically decide to live for my kids . To just look forward to seeing the. Grow up and their life events but nothing else. I didn't want to be a part time dad and miss moments of my kids.childhood. Not saying it was a great choice. She was basically done after the second one and the act was off. Didn't take long before she left anyways. Definitely got a new lease in life and realized the quality of my time with them was better Tbh I've never really had… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/23 07:32 PM |
| 1 | Wife wants spousal support before house sells (among other things)I tried tthat route.. was only suppose to be like 4k for some last with a financial separation certificate. Basically wanted to give ex everything and said she checked with lawyers on the family loan notes ex produced after the fact. She was dead wrong. The financial was the easy part though. 70k later and I realize there was zero chance of doing it without lawyers and mediators (ultimately arbitrator). Tried to avoid arbitration but her latest offer was a joke. Also someone that doesn't want to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/23 02:45 AM |
| 8 | Kanye West to pay Kim Kardashian $200,000 per month in child supportYour last paragraph shows you are clueless how child support works. There is no accounting for where the money is spent at all. That's not how it works. I'm not saying they should get exactly the same amount as regular people. It's supposed to cover food, clothing, shelter. This is probably from a chef, designer clothing, a bedroom in a mansion. There is still 0 chance it's 50k a month. If she wants to take them to the Bahamas that's supposed to be her dime, not his. ..I'm also not saying Kim sh… | /r/MensRights | 22/11/23 04:52 PM |
| 9 | Kanye West to pay Kim Kardashian $200,000 per month in child supportYeah I definitely understand looking after children since I'm a single dad of two of them. I assume she doesn't contribute other than fun stuff because 50k a month more than covers any day to day basic necessities which is literally what every lawyer her will tell you what child support is supposed to cover. Had that conversation not that long ago. Anything that's a luxury or extra is on top of it. She has more than enough to pay for those things and banks a bunch on top of it. Hence she does t … | /r/MensRights | 22/11/23 04:12 PM |
| 11 | Kanye West to pay Kim Kardashian $200,000 per month in child supportTheir affairs aren't going to be based off some weird need based income system like they live in a trailer park and are just trying to get by. Except that's the entire point of child support. It's not a luxury tax. Kanye is free to give his children all.thr nice gifts he wants.. he can take them on great vacations too.. all this without legally forcing him too... Why should Kim not have to contribute? Is she broke or soemthing? Sounds like a deadbeat despite being a billionaire. | /r/MensRights | 22/11/23 03:59 PM |
| 10 | Kanye West to pay Kim Kardashian $200,000 per month in child supportYou realize it's per month right? Even with that kinda of wealth you would have to try really hard to spend 50k on each just for food, shelter, and clothing... And that's assuming she is a deadbeat that doesn't contribute anything herself. It's not supposed to pay for her entire mansions mortgage. It's just four rooms. That's 600k per kid per year. You can buy each kid a smaller house in cash every year | /r/MensRights | 22/11/23 03:48 PM |
| 5 | Kanye West to pay Kim Kardashian $200,000 per month in child supportI know at least here school fees, extra curriculars, medical is all on top of it. Child support is just supposed to be good, clothing, shelter | /r/MensRights | 22/11/23 03:31 PM |
| 1 | We reached a dealMy ex was doing the same shit trying to make me into an abuser and my lawyer said, let her go right ahead of may cost her primary custody eventually See that kinda stuff is just a pipedream/revenge fantasy we are sold. My lawyer and the mediator both said they had to do their due diligence and if nothing came of it she'd be in big trouble. Shocker nothing happened. Not only was my name cleared, but psychologist that talked to the kids found she was alienating them against me. Yet she did her bes… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 08:02 PM |
| 1 | We reached a dealMy exes parents are broke and she is broke so they just see me as a piggy bank. Next time I’m marrying up like you! Lol j/k no more marriages. Yeah trust me it doesn't work out in your favour. I'd be far further ahead if I'd never married or if I'd married someone from a more humble family that worked as well. She blew most of my money while holding onto most of family money. Legal fees she might claim are an issue but she has unlimited resource to make my life hell and drag out proceedings. She… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 07:48 PM |
| 1 | We reached a dealFirst found out about him about a year after I moved out. Could have been going on longer... although I think that's why she wanted the divorce so bad before having everything else settled legally. Despite all her dishonesty and morally grey behaviour she didn't want to be legally married while dating I think lol. Oh btw not the thread op | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 07:20 PM |
| 0 | We reached a dealWhat's crazy is when mom's move they actually have the audacity to expect the kids to go with them like they weren't the ones to leave where the kids were being raised. If you'd stayed 50/50 would have been possible but you'd have had to fight tooth and nail for it like trh rest of us and only you can speak to your financial situation My exes family was loaded overseas. I was always embarrassed about accepting money but they would just send it to her and she'd put it down. Her condo I had moved … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 07:10 PM |
| 1 | We reached a dealLol at thr second part. Your experience may vary. For some it can definitely be hard. For me it was like your poor idiot. You have no idea what you're in for.. and you actually seem like an ok dude but saying run wouldn't mean anything from me. Daughter has already said she feels sorry for him soemtimes. There is the kids side of things too.. luckily they generally like him and he's good with them | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 07:07 PM |
| 2 | We reached a dealI thought he was talking custody myself. Based on his comment he's talking financial which is standard here at least. He moved away and visits. And yeah it looks like I'm about 2.5 years myself for 50/50 custody.. clawing my way up after stuff she tried that was proven false but set the initial schedule | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 06:31 PM |
| 4 | We reached a dealBased on his comment to me it's 50/50 financial (standard). He moved away | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 06:29 PM |
| 1 | We reached a dealSaved a lot of money that's for sure. She offered you 50/50 and you moved away? I guess that made things easy from her. I initially thought wow you got 50/50 with so little effort. She tried nasty crap that was proven false but cause me to start at every other weekend treatment . From there it took tens of thousands of dollars and a couple mediations over the years to claw my way slowly up to 50/50. Man most of us would have been thrilled being offered 50/50 so easily. Not much left for her to c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 06:18 PM |
| 2 | We reached a dealI'm jealous man.. consider yourself lucky. Going on 3 years here.. feel we aren't that far apart, list I'd smaller but she keeps insisting on using her keep than minimum wage hobby money for purposes of support calculation, more than her month of summer vacation if going overseas cause apparently four weeks isn't enough (her lawyers offer actually said unlimited time if going overseas), and trying to tack on things above and beyond the $350/month I was begrudgingly going to accept for extra curr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/23 05:49 PM |
| 5 | Am I overthinking the consequences of getting married?I feel like when youre having regular sex and stuff it can have a positive overall affect in your esteem and mental health..but it can also go the other way where rejection means it tanks those things. Just like other things with relationship would rather not have those ups and downs. Took me a while to recover from my marriage. So much better now single | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 07:43 AM |
| 7 | Am I overthinking the consequences of getting married?Yeah it feels good, but it's over relatively quickly and often not worth everything that comes with it lol. But I mean I'm also the type that's never wanted to just hook up or do anything casual. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 07:12 AM |
| 15 | Am I overthinking the consequences of getting married?Personally having done it once I never want to be in a position again where one person can have such a huge impact on your emotional well being and mental health..not to mention schedule. That goes for romanticl relationships in general. I'd rather just be steady and in full control of those things. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 03:12 AM |
| 3 | I still miss her...I guess up until that point your marriage must have been pretty good? I cant understand it because I struggled throughout most of mine. Nothing came easy.. it just had it's seasons where it seemed it was improving and had some hope. I realized when we finished we kids and she gave up that those moments were just when she wanted soemthing big like a kid or new house. I had struggled enough, took enough blame when she wasn't happy that by the time she left it was.. I did everything I could to try … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 08:29 PM |
| 5 | I still miss her...Just like any time anyone asks how is married life or similar nobody will ever say it's just ok or that it's not what you hoped etc. we all maintain the facade because no one wants to admit it's not what they hoped for ot expected and they would never want it getting back to their partner | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 08:25 PM |
| 1 | For the men who never remarried and remained single fathers, is your life more fulfilling?My time with my kids is less, but in many ways better now that I'm not constantly stressed out and being told how to spend that time (well she still tried and signs them up for stuff..). For the kids themselves it's generally better for them to grow up in a two parent household ideally with two people that get along, love rach other, and work as a team... Unfortunately that's often easier said than done | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/23 07:50 PM |
| 6 | Watch out for red pill circle jerk contentEh In all honesty if people wanna bitch about it for a while let them vent. If they want to improve something about themselves great, if they don't and just want to enjoy themselves and don't feel the need to impress anyone that's also great. Not everything in life is about being productive or a 'better you'. Some seasons just enjoy the ride. That doesn't mean wallow in self pity a d spiral downward.. but it's up to you if you want to 'improve' or just appreciate what you have. It's also up to y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/23 05:20 PM |
| 3 | Why do you guys even bother getting married?Yeah... And then I realize not only do they spend most days only seeing each other at meal times mostly, but they also sleep in different beds. One sister also divorced.. other still going but calls her husband an idiot and stuff right in front of us | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/23 06:36 AM |
| 4 | Why do you guys even bother getting married?Unemployed, gainfully employed... It all sucks lol. My ex has a millionaire mother and her uncle is one of richest in his country. She hasn't worked since she lost her job one year into marriage. She has zero intention on looking for a job even more as a single mom. Best I can do is inpute minimum wage... It still kills my ability to qualify for much of a mortgage as I'll still be paying like $900 a month that gets deducted from my monthly income. My broker basically told me it's killing my abil… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/23 06:35 AM |
| 2 | Wedding ring after divorceMines the same, but kept in a dark corners somewhere so when I stumble across it I will be reminded not to marry again lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/23 07:20 PM |
| 2 | Wedding ring after divorceTbh mine is tucked away somewhere and only kept it as the occasional reminder not to marry again the odd time I'm digging through things and stumble across it | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/23 07:19 PM |
| 17 | She'll Snap Out of This Right?Of course after divorce it is always.. oh the only reason I stayed home with the kida was you wanted a traditional stay at home mom.. uh no... I remember you lost your job one year into marriage and you never looked for work even before kids.. I remember being upset we missed out on a year you could have collected maternity leave.. and I remember you sending the kids off to preschool and day homes so you may as well have worked . In fact I remember being laid off and scrambling to find a job whi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 03:29 PM |
| 3 | According to this feminist woman, men dont deserve any rights to have children.Wow they really don't understand how important a dad's involvement with their kid is do they? Nor did they ever stop their selfish thinking to ask how their kid would feel not knowing their father.. So their idea of an ideal situation for their kid is fine an anonymous sperm donor, raise a kid without knowing bio dad, have brother act as father figure? What could go wrong..I'm sure they'll be a well adjusted kid with no issues... | /r/MensRights | 19/10/23 05:23 PM |
| 4 | According to this feminist woman, men dont deserve any rights to have children.Nothing wrong with being afraid. Just don't go around telling men they are second class citizens, that they are making some noble sacrifice only for your sake and that thar their risk is so high that they may die or never be the same | /r/MensRights | 19/10/23 04:25 PM |
| 2 | According to this feminist woman, men dont deserve any rights to have children.Nah these dramatic claims of extreme danger are just hyperbole to try and further their feminist agenda. It's from people who have never given birth themselves most my likely or possibly revisionist history to suit the agenda. Know plenty who have given birth (along with being present for both my kids) and none of them describe anything that dramatic. It also doesn't fit the science. They're reaching and while technically possible it's a straw man basically. It's perfectly fine to be scared of e… | /r/MensRights | 19/10/23 02:30 PM |
| 6 | According to this feminist woman, men dont deserve any rights to have children.I know this first hand. Once she found out she was pregnant with the second never saw her naked again. She also basically gave up on trying. Apparently she married hoping she'd grow to love me and never did. So yeah I was a sperm donor and once my purpose was fulfilled I was toast | /r/MensRights | 19/10/23 02:26 PM |
| 12 | According to this feminist woman, men dont deserve any rights to have children.Privilege was the word and yeah...but then it's also a privilege for a man to get them pregnant too... It goes both ways. She's not just doing it out of self sacrifice for the man. She wants it too, or she wouldn't go through with it. They have to endure more of course. | /r/MensRights | 19/10/23 06:06 AM |
| 21 | According to this feminist woman, men dont deserve any rights to have children.My thoughts are ok... But doesn't the woman want the child as well? She's not entitled to have his sperm either. Pretty sure they are both being blessed by the child, not just him. Yes she has to go through more for the actual birth, no denying that.. but it's not just a service she's doing for him. You bet your ass she'd never go through it if it was | /r/MensRights | 19/10/23 06:03 AM |
| 20 | According to this feminist woman, men dont deserve any rights to have children.Yup absolutely dramatic bullshit. As another said their body is made for it. Yes I'm sure it sucks the last few months and giving birth. Yes some changes do happen to your body aftwr. In tired of hearing how they're all going to die doing it and their body is ruined etc. Plenty of women are back to work within a year and get back into shape etc. Or course a lot of it depends on support network like if you have family nearby | /r/MensRights | 19/10/23 06:01 AM |
| 1 | Thinking of getting married? These are your rights and notice how many people think that this is, "okay".My sister recently informed me 'due to various reasons ' my parents sleep in separate beds as well now. I know he uses a CPAP machine and has a special bed that can incline.. I also know she had a mastectomy lately and may have image issue or soemthing. I obviously don't want to prod... I do worry about them sometimes. My dad spends a lot of time computer gaming in basement and my mom is a traditional type that doe most of trh domestic chores and showed her love to us kids by making sure we were… | /r/MensRights | 18/10/23 07:00 PM |
| 6 | How much are you fathers paying in child support?So the ex has dragged it on and switch lawyers a few times and demanded we switch arbitrators (expensive and time consuming to demand we remain with them). She played dirty early and gradually worked my way up but was still 10 days a month (in Canada 12 days they treat it as shared and both incomes counted and offset is support. Anything less and it's like full custody for support purposes). Based on 80k I was paying 1169, which was about 1/4 of my take home, but that doesn't include extra curri… | /r/MensRights | 18/10/23 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Thinking of getting married? These are your rights and notice how many people think that this is, "okay".Well they were loyal at least and meant their vows. They weren't always thinking of greener pastures and how replaceable you were. I think many of them fall into the stay out of each other's way. My own parents have been together over 40 years but do their own thing mostly on a typical day. | /r/MensRights | 18/10/23 01:16 PM |
| 6 | Just found out the full extent of my ex's fuckeryShitty. Good thing her brother is being a bro and not just blind family loyalty crap. Dude is for real | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/23 05:16 AM |
| 14 | Thinking of getting married? These are your rights and notice how many people think that this is, "okay".Marriage can easily be the worse decision you ever make . Yeah also dealt with a toxic marriage, cluster B type . And I fear it's messing my daughter up bad as well. Can be a generational mess.. it can do irreparable damage me tally and it can literally ruin your life On the other hand 'really good' with a life partner is often upselling. When everything goes right it may feel that way for a few years and then just become 'comfortable'. Best long term couples I know are a good parenting team tha… | /r/MensRights | 17/10/23 03:10 PM |
| 8 | Is it just me, or are people extremely forgiving of female cheaters?Literally had a thread in unpopular opinion about how it someone wants to vacuum every single day they should do it and not be mad if the other doesnr want to do it for them. Of course you had to have that person say that some wives are like mothefs and do everything while still working. I said well there might be some traditional types around but in today's world it can be either gender. Of course downvotes. I had to mentiony ex who literally sent kids to daycare a d then when I got home disapp… | /r/MensRights | 14/10/23 04:55 PM |
| 5 | Single for years after divorceIt's amazing how you can go years without any sort of big oh shit moments or feeling likr soemthing is off and major adjustments need to be made.. and then you're in a relationship and things are always a panic and something is always wrong. I'll take quiet contentment and routine over that any day even if you don't get the feel good hormones. Level is better than those highs with all the extra baggage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/23 08:30 PM |
| 1 | Anyone else fed up the term "women and children" constantly being thrown around on Reddit these days?I've caught myself typing it as well and usually just say they attacked civilians | /r/MensRights | 12/10/23 07:55 PM |
| 0 | Single for years after divorceLike I said I had enough and put my foot down and one of the reasons she decided she wanted out. Wasn't able to control me enough apaprently. Found out about bpd and what it was around that time. At some point when you're still awake at 2am working through some stupid harmless shit and telling her you can discuss it tomorrow as you gotta get up early some concessions seem miniscule when you've already talked them off a cliff. Shit even lawyers and mediators try avoid fighting her too much. She's… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/23 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Single for years after divorcewell for one 30 mins isn't enough, and another you have to pick and choose your battles. But yeah women can be extremely controlling and manipulative. It's less about balls and more about appealing to your kind nature. Sob stories about poor me, I've been home with the kids the entire day (not even true with school/daycare) and need you to come home right after work. It doesn't help when they already have mental health issues.. It becomes not worth fighting at some point. I mean I'd you have a.l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/23 07:00 PM |
| -2 | Single for years after divorceWell to be fair how many of those guys were guilt tripped and given a hard time every time they wanted to work on fitness or hobbies? Many wives have a way of killong/sabotaging them. Most guys don't just suddenly lose interest in those. After divorce you have less guilt trips, but little time if you have young kids and are a single dad. You are listing off what men lack but what about women? Most are less interesting than the men, most are in even worse shape (seriously just looking at parents … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/23 06:50 PM |
| 8 | When it comes to personal wealth gained prior to marriage, men need to strategize more like womenI mean as long as you have records of it you will keep the wealth you entered into the marriage with. The only difference I guess would be in a trust fund you'd keep the interest gained as well. If there is a mortgage on a property still being paid then yes that muddies the water and it becomes marital property. But yeah if you have 1 mil in an investment and enter a marriage then get divorvred that 1 mil is exempt at least in Canada. | /r/MensRights | 06/10/23 03:10 PM |
| 2 | "Men seek custody less often"Yeah my expenses really don't change that much with a couple extra days or even going to 50/50 (14-15 days). No way my ex needs almost 1200 a month for food and shelter. She has a fully paid house with lots of extra bedrooms. I have to find a rental with extra rooms.. my rent is increasing by 550/month now cause my landlord sold and my lease is up | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/23 06:57 PM |
| 6 | "Men seek custody less often"The bullshit thing is that in Canada I'd you have them 11 days a month you pay that 900 a month plus the extra expenses when you have them like extra bedrooms and food for those days. Once it's 12 days a month it magically goes to what you described. You can well imagine what type of schedule mom is agreeable to..yeah 5 days a week per two week period. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/23 06:48 PM |
| 2 | New study shows that involuntarily sexless men are not more misogynistic or violent, and that misogynistic men often have more sexual partners.Tbh some of my friends I. High school literally told me you need to just not give a shit about them and be a bit of a dick.. you put them on too much of a pedestal. I was never willing to become like that because I didn't want to be that way just the get a girl. It wasn't me and tbh doubt I could have been that way even if I tried. After being married it rang too true though. She took advantage of my nature and probably the nail in the coffin of my marriage was when I started standing up for mys… | /r/MensRights | 24/09/23 11:19 PM |
| 9 | I owe an apologyDude it's not just the west. It's everywhere. After being married to someone who grew up in Singapore and Malaysia I can tell you all the women in that family treated their husbands as a pay cheque and rules the house with an iron fist. A lot of guys I saw over there seemed to be treated like that. I've heard guys in Japan swearing off marriage because their women also have similar views and expect to be in charge of spending. I'm a Christian too and while I think when marriage and the earth ear… | /r/MensRights | 24/09/23 01:42 AM |
| 42 | New study shows that involuntarily sexless men are not more misogynistic or violent, and that misogynistic men often have more sexual partners.This is just common sense. Majority of 'incels' are harmless and as others said if anything put woman on a pedestal. In fact I'd suggest the very axt or doing so gives them worse luck with women even though some may have lost in genetic lottery. I'd also suggest being cool and smooth talking is a lot easier if you see women as beneath you and/or just see them as a conquest. Possibly also a link to bring low on the empathy scale/being narcissistic. The 'confident' guys they like often fall into t… | /r/MensRights | 23/09/23 08:46 PM |
| 23 | I owe an apologyI swear like half or mgtow are divorced guys who just aren't ready to do it again. That's why the incel label is so stupid. Hating women is also stupid. Sure there are some that are going through a lot of anger that feel they need to direct it, but they get through that. I still can't believe how messed up and entitled my ex is. She thinks the world owes her for existing. But yeah there are women in my life i love, I still feel intrigued by some, still find myself curious, I just dont always tru… | /r/MensRights | 23/09/23 03:17 PM |
| 5 | Yes, women can rape men. No, men don't 'enjoy it'.There are a lot of steps and grasping to get there... first of all genital arousal doesn't necessarily mean physical pleasure, which we all seem to understand... but even if it's physically pleasurable that still doesn't mean you wanted it to happen. I don't say yes to every thing in life that brings pleasure. Thats callee hedonism and unfortunately society thinks thar way though. If it feels good why not do it. No | /r/MensRights | 22/09/23 04:13 PM |
| 2 | Did COVID ruined your marriage somehow?No, but as someone who started proceedings right before covid hit and then having to hunker down for like a year and a bit with her.. man that sucked and was miserable after a while. Felt bad one time when I called her a nitpicking cunt or soemthing a little too loud and I'm sure my kid heard lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/23 04:01 PM |
| 8 | Father's don't want custody?That's pretty much bang on. She did the false accusation thing which was quickly prove. To be false. I f act they found she was attempting to alienate them but no consequences. So I started with every other weekend. Firm there nobody wants to add more than a day or two per two week period for each adjustment. She changed lawyers a few times, made us change the arbitrator because she felt discriminated against. I'm alrund 60k and not quite there yet. The financial stuff was only a few k. Some of … | /r/MensRights | 21/09/23 04:43 PM |
| 2 | What is the benefit to marry? What did I do to myself?Yeah. I guess having an Asian wife that wanted a particular ethnic mix gave it away? Extended family so happy to have grand kids that were fairer... even worse her mom used to look at her and her brothers darker skin as tainted from their father (claims he's spanish who happens to life in the Philippines, but in pretty sure he was Filipino.. their whole family is racist against them). Looking back I'm pretty sure that contributed to it... | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/23 03:41 PM |
| 8 | Why won't married women have sex?Which is also complete bs. I know if she wanted to put me first occasionally, even if she's not feeling at her best, she could. How do I know? Well after we were talking marriage she revealed she escorted a bit in college. Stupid me went ahead and married her anyways... kinda made it all hurt they much more down the road. Screw randoms for money, but if I'm not the perfect husband you won't touch me, despite bending over backwards. But hey she used sex as a currency to get what she wanted earlie… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/23 01:01 PM |
| 6 | What is the benefit to marry? What did I do to myself?was she ever really in love with me? -was this exit planned for years? -was I a sperm donor? -was I just the best financial option? What's messed up is those are valid things to question. Basically during divorce debriefing I confirmed that.. no, she married hoping she would grow to love me but never did... yes she planned for years.. yes I was a sperm donor, I even asked if you were so dissatisfied why have another kid, said was either me or someone from the bar. Also asked why not choose out f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/23 03:20 AM |
| 3 | Are we ready for artificial wombs?From an individual stand point I agree being a father is often better than being a husband and not having to deal with custody bs in a divorce. On the other hand I do think best case scenario for a kid is a mom and dad both being involved in their lives.. ideally in a healthy marriage (sadly getting rare), but even split still better to have both involved | /r/MensRights | 20/09/23 06:46 PM |
| 4 | Blowing it up for a dead bedroom and no loveAnd at some point you realize improving yourself won't help. Sometimes it's a her problem and not a you problem. If you're spending too much time jumping through hoops to please them when others can see your value well nuff said. Self improvement should be mainly for you imo | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/23 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Man is awarded just £20,000 after his penis was chopped off during botched circumcisionThe fact this is in Malaysia sadly does not surprise me | /r/MensRights | 20/09/23 03:38 PM |
| 3 | Mom trying to move away, although we have 50/50 joint/legal custodyYeah my ex has rich family and found some poor sucker doctor guy. My daughter even says she feels sorry for him the way my ex treats him. I mean.. she got rid of a cat because his daughter was allergic.. then goes back and gets another and tells our daughter she will just have to go get shots.. show up and him and his daughter are weed whacking for this woman that made her home basically oppressive to his daughter. Last time she visited there she slept in a tent in the yard. Anyways yeah rich fa… | /r/MensRights | 19/09/23 03:19 PM |
| 0 | So-called "pick me" behavior is reviled in women. It is expected from men.Don't assume it's a lot better elsewhere. My ex grew up in Singapore with most family in Malaysia. Ended duo being bod with huge entitlement (my older co-worker from Hong Kong literally told me girls from Singapore had huge entitlement issues). Alo the women from her family were also very entitled and domineered their husbands and eventually drove most of them away or left them. Guys there are the work horses and women spend it and run the house. That's how it often is there | /r/MensRights | 17/09/23 05:18 AM |
| 6 | Follow what is right, not what is popular.Early in my marriage (should have been the end of it) my ex used to think it was ok to slap me even while driving and stuff. On one hand thankfully we got that boundary settled but verbal and emotional abuse still came in waves. It wasnt till years later after divorce that I actually told anyone else it happened | /r/MensRights | 14/09/23 02:43 PM |
| 2 | I’ve rewritten my past just like she didIt's interesting they would assume the person that's good to be around would be the one that intimates instead of the one who acts miserable. I was same as you. Nothing for her was ever good enough and everything was always someone else's fault, so if course she initiated. Doesn't mean I was happy in the marriage. But yeah I can easily see how much of a drag she was and even recognizing her behaviour as controlling and abusive | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/23 01:11 PM |
| 2 | Progress: A Systemic Review of Male Suicide, by Susie Bennett.Thanks. I'm not the quitting type. It's just demoralizing. I'm glad I don't have to deal with her crap every day anymore and can actually choose how i spend my time. Financial wise was obviously a lot easier having no mortgage and a big house whereas now just struggling to afford a little 2 bedroom apartment in my budget. I wish I didn't have to communicate with her at all but kids stuff and trying to close off this legal stuff. It's insane I have lots of evidence of her holding kids hostage for… | /r/MensRights | 11/09/23 06:07 PM |
| 2 | Progress: A Systemic Review of Male Suicide, by Susie Bennett.Sorry to hear that. I know the feeling of everything being out of reach lately. When my ex wanted out I tried to be positive. Had all these aspirations both financially and hobby wise. Also thought once I got through it I'd finally be out of this whole survivall mode I was in for much of marriage. Avoiding on catastrophe of her making after another and groveling to make things right. I've been in my own place for 2.5 years and the last part with our lawyers to wrap up last loose ends has already… | /r/MensRights | 11/09/23 05:30 PM |
| 1 | You Don't Get What You Deserve, You Get What You NegotiateIt's all fun a d games until you're dealing with a personality disorder. I'm trying to figure out how to wrap this up without the negotiation part. We send an offer and it's basically just no.. so we send another and it's no. We all agree on modifications to custody schedule but held off in writing final agreement because there as other items to go in there. Still waiting for the extra days we agreed last fall that was supposed to start in January. Early this year we spend a few hours going over… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/23 05:03 PM |
| 12 | Anyone keep in contact with the ex to witness karma?You'd be surprised at how much wicked people can prosper. I do believe justice is not always in this life but the next. I know not everyone believes that. My ex has got it made, n Prob will never have to lift a finger. She basically retired early 30s. When mother passes she was br a multimillionaire. Somehow she's roped in a doctor.. although you have to wonder when he'll have enough or if she will actually get a ring. She uses every subsidy and apparently food bank. Goes in multiple vacations a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/23 03:35 AM |
| 0 | Top 10 mistakes men make in divorceLast one is literally briffault's law | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 09:24 PM |
| 2 | Top 10 mistakes men make in divorceI think my lawyer said that, then she fired that one and my lawyer said that again, financial went well enough, then she fired that one before we got to custody and section 7 expenses and got this idiot who plays stupid all the time and drags things out. She warned me about him. There are literally things he plays dumb on that I flat out know as someone who has never been to law school. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 09:23 PM |
| 2 | Top 10 mistakes men make in divorcePretty much. Some of these I can agree with well enough and mostly followed them as it is. None of them really help much if you're dealing with a bpd ex who has rich backing and just wants to make your life hell, switched lawyers a couple times, tries to get your mediator/arbitrator dismissed etc | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 09:21 PM |
| 3 | I Left My Wife Two Weeks Ago, Today She Says She’s Pregnant.Def need to see ethr receipts.. if nothing is else to determine if you are going to be a part of this kids life or not and that includes financially. Def never had it happen. Never had breakup sex. Can't imagine things being decent enough to have sex and then walking out the door.. but makeup sex was never really a thing either I dunno | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 02:34 PM |
| 1 | How emotionally hard is the mere financial side of a divorce?Sounds more like you just need a friend in that case, bonus point she's a cute female. I don't mind having attractive friends either. Just as long as you don't get jealous if they're with someone else. Calling them a gf is more expensive no? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/23 03:22 PM |
| 1 | How emotionally hard is the mere financial side of a divorce?Emotional side was worse than financial but financial is bad, especially if you have kids. Depends on partner if course. Child support is pretty much single handedly preventing me from being able to have a mortgage. I realize I'll prob be stuck in this situation until my kids leave as she has no plan to find a job. She has rich family. We are trying to inpute min wage and in theory could bump that up a bit each year, but eve. Fighting her in this is costing probably thousands. I don't see that c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/23 05:18 AM |
| 1 | My lawyer told me today that my case is "a long shot." When I hired her she said that I've good chances and that she would take the case. Her statement kind of shocked me. Should I get a different lawyer?Unfortunately my ex life did end uo being an all paid vacation so far. Been 2.5 years since di moved out.. hasn't looked for a job, goes on multiple vacations a year, always adding stuff around the house... Collects from me, 3 exchange students at 800 a month each, rich family who flies her back there for a month etc. Has a little hobby shop in her home. Claims her kids need her despite being full time in school (last year youngest was half days). Also uses every subsidy available then claims sh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/23 11:34 PM |
| 1 | My lawyer told me today that my case is "a long shot." When I hired her she said that I've good chances and that she would take the case. Her statement kind of shocked me. Should I get a different lawyer?I believe my ex is 100% bpd but would never be self aware to get checked out for anything like that. It's always everyone else that has issues. Her mother is definitely npd and was abusive to my ex when she was a kid.. so genes plus environment. My ex and her bro had to pull her away from a window she was thinking of jumping out of as kids. Now my daughter is really concerning us. Def comes across ODD but cruel to her brother more than just normal bullying. I worry she's got some personality dis… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/23 06:33 PM |
| 2 | My lawyer told me today that my case is "a long shot." When I hired her she said that I've good chances and that she would take the case. Her statement kind of shocked me. Should I get a different lawyer?It's gonna be hell if your partner is disagreeable. I literally don't know what she's still holding out in with signing the agreement on last details. Dealing with an undiagnosed bpd with unlimited family money for legal bills so she will fight just to be 'right' down to every last detail even if it costs thousands. Don't think my lawyer knew what she was in for when she said don't wanna go the court route, although she did say her in canada you have trials only for a specific item you can't res… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/23 03:48 AM |
| 2 | Post-divorce intimacy: paid vs non-paid!Make that three of us. Also married 10 years. Hated the nagging , screaming, constant drama. I really am the type that can be happy not seeing another human being for a few days but still love physical affection and touch (doesn't even have to be sex.. being desired and physical affection in general more important. Have zero desire for sex without a strong connection and history). One of my biggest beefs was alone time.being so skimp and always having to account for what I'm doing/being guilted … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/09/23 06:58 PM |
| 4 | Why a Cat is a Divorced Man's best friendCats are really good at sensing how people are feeling. Or at least I've always thought. Seems it was picking up on the conflict. I know anytime I've felt sad my cat has seemed a bit more affectionate. I can also say they can sense hormonal changes and stuff too. I remember when my ex was pregnant the cat knew before we did. She kept thinking soemthing that was wrong with her because it wouldn't stop curling up right on her tummy, way more than usual | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/23 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Kevin Costner has Child Support Reduced in Half from 129K to 63k/monthYeah mine was complicated. She accepted lots form her family and uses it to eliminate a mortgage so I took a large cash sum but left it to her. Was going to get something a. Lot smaller like a little townhouse.. been kind of on the verge of affordability but still have legal bills and get the final agreement with custody wrapped up. My support should be going down a few hundred which will help. No inventory here now though lol. Even if I cast a very large net around the area where my kids are th… | /r/MensRights | 03/09/23 01:01 AM |
| 2 | "I ask men to show me their bank balance on the first date because I only want to go out with wealthy guys - I need to know if I'm wasting my time"Ive had a couple women try and never found them enjoyable. So I dunno. Maybe they were both bad. Or is it a circumcised/uncircumcised thing? I'm uncut and often felt over stimulated if anything | /r/MensRights | 02/09/23 03:02 PM |
| 4 | Kevin Costner has Child Support Reduced in Half from 129K to 63k/month20% after tax. By the time our gov takes 30+% (Canada) only so much left. | /r/MensRights | 02/09/23 02:57 PM |
| 4 | Kevin Costner has Child Support Reduced in Half from 129K to 63k/monthI know at least in Canada you can't prenup child support away. It's "supposed" to be for the kids, not her. I mean yeha it's rediculous kids needs tens of thousands every month and we all know mama spends plenty of it on herself (mine hasn't even looked for a job between rich family, my child support, money from hostint students in her big paid off house a d goes on multiple vacations and always adding new furniture and stuff. yet she apparently takes form food bank and cheapa out on shoes and b… | /r/MensRights | 02/09/23 02:50 PM |
| 23 | Kevin Costner has Child Support Reduced in Half from 129K to 63k/monthThe guy sure as heck doesn't maintain the same quality of life most of the time. Even the mortgage broker I talked to was saying he sees it all the time where guys can't qualify for much because of child support lol. Kills the motivation when any promotion or raise just gets sucked up between gov and ex | /r/MensRights | 02/09/23 02:37 PM |
| 35 | Women who "train" their husbands.Yeah I remember mine telling me I should never have a hobby that doesn't add value to the family or make money or work connections etc. Always tried to guilt me out of watching my on football game a week or playing games. Also yeah tried to change my personality. She was a karen and it was seen as a huge betrayal that I didn't like confronting people or demanding special treatment for her and our family. I remember telling her that no I can't ask them for hot water because we are about to land a… | /r/MensRights | 29/08/23 04:47 AM |
| 1 | Marriage kills loveAlso religious and feel marriage as God intended and first created was great, but like many things sin often ruins. Personally I wanted to keep working out and taking care of my body. While she liked my body she always guilted me anytime I wanted to go to the gym or go play sports, hike, etc. So yeah I got more out of shape. Once our marriage was near the end I said to heck with it, I'm going a s you'll just have to deal with me being home a bit later a coupoe times during the week and going on … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/23 09:26 PM |
| 1 | How did the dominant wife trope start?Beats me lol | /r/MensRights | 25/08/23 06:35 PM |
| 4 | How did the dominant wife trope start?Id assume it mostly starts once cohabitation starts.. but is it after marriage? Was one and same for me. It's partially related to nesting habits I think? Everything in the house has to be just right. I did see some studies that found controlling behavior was more prominent in women. Got that need to micromanage. I think it's been shown men have an easier time unwinding and compartmentalizing. Women's brains are just always going and often jump from one thing to another | /r/MensRights | 25/08/23 04:36 PM |
| 3 | Stop Defending Your Ex (Don't Be the Nice Guy!)Yeah as long as we were married I defended.. yes even against my family.. but when all I gave her still wasn't enough and she wanted out.. yeah the scales fell off my eyes.. I saw what a lazy leech she was and also saw her cluster B traits fully.. I don't wish harm on her, but she's not a good human being. I generally try to speak well of her around the kids but even my daughter is starting to see she's a loser and ha pretty much said she's a loser, she's mean, she has some kind of disorder etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/23 04:13 PM |
| 2 | Why is marriage still pushedYeah I tend to agree. I just don't think I've seen anyone actually win. Plenty that sorta seem no better/no worse and a lot below that. Society essentially lies and tells us bliss in marriage is the norm even though we know the statistics. Exception being people in the first few years. I think if we knew the reality we would prob not do it.. although hormones and wanting kids.. like I've never bought a lotto ticket. It thought I wouldn't be like those other divorced people | /r/MensRights | 23/08/23 08:56 PM |
| 9 | Why is marriage still pushedConsider me a tradcon who learned the hard way. It's odd though because I'd you read the Bible there is plenty of warnings in proverbs of just how bad it can go and some verses from prominent figures even saying single is actually better id you can accept it. Heck even King David had like his first kind of real love,. Michal, (eventually had many wives) go from adoring him to looking at him with disgust when she saw him dancing for God. Not soemthing a 'real man' would do or something. Not makin… | /r/MensRights | 23/08/23 03:56 AM |
| 14 | Why is marriage still pushedHonestly the first one is so rare now. I personally don't see it with anyone I know. Like truly know more than an acquaintance. It looks wonderful on trh surface, but once you get to know them it's really not and struggle just as much ad anyone. Like working well usually just means they work together well enough as a team and stay out of each other way a lot of the time. So many people with masks on.. to be fair it's not just marriage. | /r/MensRights | 23/08/23 03:50 AM |
| 10 | No peace for men without a wifeAgree to disagree. Irs hard to picture any couple in my life that I actually envy. Best case they sorta stay out of each other's way and work well as a team. Don't know any couples really thriving in their marriage | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/23 02:09 PM |
| 1 | I want to know why some of you are MGTOWI just believe modern laws and expectations and sin means it generally is doomed now. I think it's 'meant for life ' if you're going to bother at all. Otherwise it's just dating with extra steps and risks really. I realize it generally just doesn't work anymore. That's mainly just how I believe marriage was intended from a religious perspective. I believe remarriage is equivalent to adultery. When you say too death do us part it's supposed to actually mean something l, but for most people that's… | /r/MensRights | 18/08/23 02:17 PM |
| 5 | I want to know why some of you are MGTOWBoth religious and personal reasons. I believe marriage is for life but if one party leaves you stay single so long as they're still alive. Personally I got burned bad enough and known enough other married couples past social media to realize society understates just how badly marriage can ruin your life, it can be absolutely the worst decision you ever make. On the other hand I don't know any couples I really envy. Society completely over states the benefits of it long term. At best they work a… | /r/MensRights | 17/08/23 08:56 PM |
| 1 | STBX Wife is not telling mutual friends about her affair partner - correct record or no comment?Don't go around just volunteering the information, but don't cover it up and protect here. Answer truthfully when people K what really happened..refute inaccurate statements..that's already taking the high road while not airing dirty laundry.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/08/23 05:32 PM |
| 18 | What is she exactly? Incel? Femcel? At least she's glamourized instead of being mercilessly mocked...Well to be fair it doesn't say she is a virgin. Just hasn't been in a relationship. Very possible she's hooked up plenty, but as a career woman with probably high expectations hasn't actually been in a relationship with a guy a d now wondering what went wrong. | /r/MensRights | 12/08/23 04:13 PM |
| 9 | Most men commit suicide because of horrible circumstances (with no foreseeable improvement in the future) rather than mental illness.You wonder how many of them are single father's that realize for the next 10-15 years they will struggle just to make ends meet until their kids are adults. Some maybe had their careers even ruined by being painted as abusive or guys who have been falsely accused etc. | /r/MensRights | 11/08/23 03:20 PM |
| 2 | Men who are paying a huge chunk of your income on child support, how do you cope?Yeah and quite frankly for a bank mortgage it should be. My mortgage broker even mentioned he could try ommitting that detail..but I was like no .. the amount you tell me I qualify for I already knew was right on trh edge of my affordability. I save very little at the end of trh month with all of these expenses and with all the extra costs of condo fees, property tax, utilities, I would be right at my max.. so the banks math works. I would rather not use every last bit I'm qualified for because … | /r/MensRights | 10/08/23 08:36 PM |
| 7 | Men who are paying a huge chunk of your income on child support, how do you cope?Hopefully that works out. As far as I can tell my ex never plans on working, collecting form rich family, living without a mortgage.. claiming she's destitute Nd this is how much I made according to my tax return. So I'm in it til my kids re adults and from what I've been told basically until they have their first degree (told each of us owe each kid half of a degree) | /r/MensRights | 10/08/23 07:33 PM |
| 4 | Men who are paying a huge chunk of your income on child support, how do you cope?No doubt it sucks. I'm in a similar boat to you. Rouhly same amounts. I also pay 350/month for section 7 which is all the extra curricular, braces, etc. I try to ignore it and not focus on it. It does suck though when you get a raise and get so little of it. Also it's hitting home a bit harder as I consider buying a place of my own. I got a chunk of cash while she kept the house so I can put 30% down on a small townhouse.. however the child support puts me pretty close to being unaffordable for … | /r/MensRights | 10/08/23 06:53 PM |
| 28 | Men who are paying a huge chunk of your income on child support, how do you cope?Because despite what feminists will say most dad's actually want to be a part of their kids lives. Life might be easier if I moved but I would only consider moving if I was facing being homeless and burned through most of my savings. My kids need me | /r/MensRights | 10/08/23 06:46 PM |
| 7 | Is it even worth staying?If she does in fact have bpd (sounds like some symptoms) then that loyalty will be fickle. One day you will to from being that best husband to the worst and she will discard you. You will be the source of all of her problems in life. I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet. Makes me wonder if she really is bpd or soemthing similar instead As others said you're playing with fire. One day you may stand up for yourself and end up in jail and lose your career | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 02:53 PM |
| 1 | F*ck MediationIf you can that's great. Unfortunately the first question they ask in Canada is did you try mediation first? And then I was told they don't just do an all inclusive trial. It's like one trial for custody, one trial for section 7, one trial for assets etc. And they're a year or more out. Was pretty much told it wasn't an option except last resort | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/23 03:57 PM |
| 8 | Just bought a one way ticket to Thailand and won't date in western/feminist culture any longer.The women in that family had real nasty tempers and were always bickering amongst each other about thinfs likr money and who the rich uncle gave more money to | /r/MensRights | 06/08/23 08:45 PM |
| 60 | Just bought a one way ticket to Thailand and won't date in western/feminist culture any longer.Yup was married to a se Asian..she literally used me for money and kids then discarded me. Said she hoped she'd grow to love me when she married..her mother and all of her aunt's (but family) were also very cold and calculating, very loud, proud, and controlling (def not submissive) superficial, treated the men as nothing but a provider and drove them away in most cases. Might look more feminine, but act masculine. Those type exist in all cultures.. | /r/MensRights | 06/08/23 06:55 PM |
| 2 | It's interesting how it's almost always "men are afraid of approaching these days, they don't know how to talk to women" and never "women have become such and such and it is destroying society"I'm around that right now and I think we are thankfully almost done.. well except for yearly review of child support and section 7. She ended up on lawyer #4 (not even sure first lawyer counts as I never met them). We also had to switch mediator/arbitrator... That's as after we had tried to do it without lawyers and just this lady who was a mediator that had taken some financial separation courses... She had her in the palm of her hand and would gotten so screwed..I wondered if she bribed her...… | /r/MensRights | 04/08/23 10:55 PM |
| 14 | It's interesting how it's almost always "men are afraid of approaching these days, they don't know how to talk to women" and never "women have become such and such and it is destroying society"It's definitely not just Western. My ex grew up in SE Asia and ended up being such an entitled Karen. Became more and more like her mother and I eventually realized had bpd. The kicker is that in their big family none of the women kept their men around long term. The guys were somewhat down to earth, the women in that family were all superficial and catty with each other. Even the one uncles gf (don't believe he ever married her but has has two kids with.. many think one isn't even his) was will… | /r/MensRights | 04/08/23 03:05 PM |
| 25 | It's interesting how it's almost always "men are afraid of approaching these days, they don't know how to talk to women" and never "women have become such and such and it is destroying society"My ex just cherry picked biblical gender roles and twisted them. Anything bad she did was my responsibility.. she reflected any negativity.. but apparently never reflected my mostly steady attitude and anything kind i did. She also didn't follow my lead and constantly tried to control me. She even told me before I had to be responsible for anything bad either she or me kids did lol | /r/MensRights | 04/08/23 02:57 PM |
| 34 | It's interesting how it's almost always "men are afraid of approaching these days, they don't know how to talk to women" and never "women have become such and such and it is destroying society"Shit yeah I hate how people mask or cope by making all these true statements a joke. It's so misleading to young people. Then you end up married and try to cope as well but at some point realize you've been had.. for some it takes divorce before you drop the l blind optimism. Heck In the r/ask someone mentioned don't try to win an argument but solve the problem. One dude replied you can be right or you can be happy then said 48 years or soemthing he's never won an argument and is happy. Man I wa… | /r/MensRights | 04/08/23 02:53 PM |
| 1 | $30,000 spent so far on meditation. Why everyone insisting on more mediation?I have been asking myself the same question for a while. I'm up to about 50k I think. First it was that they wouldn't even see us in Canada because they won't even take you unless you attempt other solutions first and then they would ask your one or two issues outstanding and assign from there to one court process over here for this item and maybe another over here. Then after a year or 1.5 I asked again and was told well it would be at least a year out and would cost a lot more.. and when it co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/23 10:05 PM |
| 2 | As I fight to make my marriage the best it can be, I am fighting to be the best Father I can be.Why don't you go homeless from legal fees so you can have the privilege of equal and fair custody... Why do women spend all that money and effort fighting someone who just want equal and fair,? They fight so hard because they want 3/4 of the pie and leave you with 1/4. Even after studies have all proven what's best for their own kids is equal Both households would have a lot more money to the kids if they could just learn to share. Not everyone can afford tens of thousands of dollars (that's whe… | /r/MensRights | 01/08/23 10:37 PM |
| 1 | People who justify male-only military draft in any shape or form, anywhere and for any reason, are disgustingYeah in this modern age it's hard to accept that some countries see people are essentially property when it comes to times of war. At some point if there really aren't enough volunteers that are willing to fight for their country maybe democracy has spoken. Although someone might argue that they owe it for all the services they receive in that country (that their taxes pay for?). Then again I could see it being unfair expecting people to pick up the slack and not spreading out the burden. I dunn… | /r/MensRights | 01/08/23 03:05 PM |
| 15 | Singapore executes woman for the first time in 20 yearsSo standard par for the course there. Drug smuggling has always been a death sentence | /r/MensRights | 28/07/23 06:51 PM |
| 8 | Latest CDC stats: 80% of all suicides in the US are men/boysThat's a really interesting observation and could be something to it. I've always tried not to grumble too much. My parents always said I should speak up more sowmtimes lol. Even when my marriage ended and more came to light they're like you really just held onto all that? We got glimpses of his she treated you but we didn't know it started that far back.. you just took it | /r/MensRights | 28/07/23 03:33 AM |
| 61 | Latest CDC stats: 80% of all suicides in the US are men/boysThere was something posted on the sad/funny sub. A meme of d guy saying I'm sad but no one cares because I'm not a girl. It didn't surprise me it upset people. The tone is inflammatory. The comment were so incredibly tozic though. Some blamed it on other guys, some guys said they received help and didn't believe other guys who were turned down from help. A lot of us girls only get sympathy because of ulterior motives and theyr e actually creeps etc. One person did post a very interesting study a… | /r/MensRights | 27/07/23 06:42 PM |
| 5 | She's not the woman you marriedI mostly agree although my ex swore she never wanted to be like her mother and I swear over time she has gradually become more and more like her. While I'm sure she had some of those characteristics I believe it grew even more in her. Things like greed, entitlement, selfishness, pride, sends of superiority can grow over time | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 02:13 PM |
| 7 | ‘My husband can’t afford our family holiday to Disney – should I leave him at home?’We did go to Thailand just the two of us the following that winter when visiting family in a neighbouring country . That was supposed to be out honeymoon | /r/MensRights | 27/07/23 12:24 AM |
| 16 | ‘My husband can’t afford our family holiday to Disney – should I leave him at home?’So should ever guy with a stay at home wife just leave her at home and Vacation with the kids? Wives tend to drive a lot of spending you know.. it's one of the reasons commercials are catered towards females. Even upgrading to a bigger house or doing major renos is often initiated by the wives | /r/MensRights | 26/07/23 08:25 PM |
| 21 | ‘My husband can’t afford our family holiday to Disney – should I leave him at home?’Shit my ex went on a cruise the week after our wedding with her best friend and mom. I ended up staying and working. Should have realized leading up to it all she didn't love me the way she was supposed to..but wasn't experienced enough I'm relationships tbh.. didn't know some of these things were definitely be not normal. There were other things she convinced me weren't so unusual. Yesrlt she'd often take off longer and I'd just join her for a couple weeks inhad of vacation at work | /r/MensRights | 26/07/23 08:22 PM |
| 24 | ‘My husband can’t afford our family holiday to Disney – should I leave him at home?’It honestly hurt the other day when I thought about how saving for a house with enough bedrooms while paying all this child support means prob won't get to make memories with my kids doing something special like Disney..most of the time I can only afford to take them camping or to the pool. Meanwhile the freeloading ex in her huge house that abuses food bank, gets flown overseas by rich family every year for a few weeks where they have maids and eat bit meals out.. ttavem to neighbouring countri… | /r/MensRights | 26/07/23 08:18 PM |
| 2 | I don't do casual sex, and I feel like less of a man for it.Eh stay true to your values imo. I waited til I was married personally and I'll remain one and done. I also grew up conservative (still am, I'm a man of faith who believes marriage is once unless they pass away). Even if I wasn't though I don't understand how people can do something so vulnerable with someone they barely know. Not just exposing yourself like that but as others mentioned STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Even when I was exploring what my beliefs actually were I never wavered on this. … | /r/MensRights | 25/07/23 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Gents, what did you do that was definitely "wrong" to cause your marriage to end?Mainly couldn't live up to her expectations. She was looking for someone else and I was a project. She admitted she never grew to love me like she hoped she would. I definitely did miss some major red flags.. thought some of the changes were depression and didn't know anything about bpd when I was 24 young and naiive. She married me knowing I was a pacifist and introverted and was always mad when I didn't want to be her attack dog (when I go full Karen you don't stand up for me).. like what did … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/23 02:02 PM |
| 2 | DeSantis ends permanent alimony in Florida!The only reason it usually exists is because 'she gave up her career to stay at home with the kids'. It absolutely is relevant. If kids aren't involved it's often just not granted A coupe points down. The top two out of three reasons it's granted are directly related to children. The first point won't fly it it's just toe single people and she doesn't want to work. https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/fact3-fiches3.html#:~:text=To%20compensate%20a%20spouse%20who,the%20breakdown%20of%20the%20marri… | /r/MensRights | 25/07/23 05:17 AM |
| 12 | DeSantis ends permanent alimony in Florida!Why would they die in poverty though? It you have 2 or 3 kids how long should you reasonably be a stahm? It depends how far apart they're born or course.. like 10 years is one thing...often then get 5-10 years of alimony for that.if they split after that time. But why would you pay 30/40 years just because you were married to them another 10 years after that? Nothing keeping them home when youngest is old enough to take.thr bus to school and back and oldest can look after them. Heck even before … | /r/MensRights | 24/07/23 05:10 PM |
| 15 | DeSantis ends permanent alimony in Florida!The guy seems a little unhinged most of the time, but this makes too much sense. I can understand a few years of it because she took time off to be with the kids (although whose idea it actually was is he said/she said...) But why punish a guy if she doesn't want to find a job once the kids are older and independent and why would the nest 20 years after they even be relevant at all? Mostly bad arguments like women getting divorced at 60 what do they do... Well they've already split everything, i… | /r/MensRights | 24/07/23 04:48 PM |
| 3 | If men in Ukraine are forced to go to the military, why aren't the women forced to birthing kids out in a facility? oh but that's slavery? THEN WHAT IS THE CONSCRIPTION THEN?? 😆If she's implying it's an exchange of goods and that the sex isn't a mutual desire then she's essentially reducing them all to hookers. How feminist of her | /r/MensRights | 23/07/23 04:15 PM |
| 5 | Men have the right to peace like anyone elseYea I fear committment. So what? I've learned to fear it from experience .That's what comes to mind it anyone ever made that comment | /r/MensRights | 18/07/23 11:35 PM |
| 7 | Men have the right to peace like anyone elseYou mean being alone?. Feeling lonely and experiencing solitude are not always the same thing even. I was feeling lonely in my marriage and not experiencing solitude (I often wish I was). Now I'm experiencing solitude but not feeling lonely | /r/MensRights | 18/07/23 11:35 PM |
| 1 | What are some things you forgot or overlooked in your final agreement?Noy quite wrapped up. But our original separation order just had we would voluntarily contribute to resp (kids education savings in Canada) going forward. What I realized later is what about all of the resp that's already there.. and lawyer was like oh yeah.. just ask when to split it. And further stated here that parents it divorce have a higher obligation I'm the sense you can't write in there any obligation on the kid so mom and dad are expected to each cover half of their first degree. First… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/23 06:05 PM |
| 3 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportDon't see the point of dating any more tbh. Sucks for those that haven't already had kids who really want them though. Just so risky now | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 01:24 PM |
| 1 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportVery upper middle class at worst. You give any of us 4M and we could live with a fair number of luxuries most middle class people don't have. Cash.to right now would be giving you 200k a year.. which is def up there. I'm assuming this is all I'm addition to the existing assets they already split.. so she's already got a nice house with likely zero mortgage | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 06:20 AM |
| 3 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportShit aside from being so attached to my kids I'd almost wish I was still a virgin. Life is so much simpler without chasing that bit of pleasure | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 06:16 AM |
| 2 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportMy friend always makes comments like that and im like nah bro. She can be nasty but I don't wish that on her or my kids who'd be all kinds of messed up .Sadly a lot of men who get so hopeless and desperate end up taking their own life instead. I honestly understand now more going through it myself hoe hopeless and pointless it can start to feel that you'll never get ahead. But I've never been suicidal myself and I know my kids need me. | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 06:13 AM |
| 6 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportI'm blown away by the fact my ex seems to have zero moral compass. When i first started seeing her she was having lots of people over for meals from the church, people would share their problems and she'd pray for them.. used to work for a nonprofit run by a pastor. Even went on same mission trip. Now? She has rich family and her large house is fully paid off..Iwe started divorce process jan 2020 and I've been out two years. Has not looked for a job. Goes overseas 5 or 6 weeks after summer.. the… | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 06:03 AM |
| 1 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportYeah I'd be looking elsewhere if I wasn't sharing custody here... It sucks. I can't believe all the local Redditors aren't even willing to give anyone else a chance. Oh he will be just as bad as trudeau.. ffs it's pretty hard to mess up any worse than he has.. even if the other guy does end up being bad it's likely he won't be AS bad | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 05:53 AM |
| 7 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportJust don't cohabitate period. No need to play house to someone you're not married to | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 05:51 AM |
| 18 | Kevin Costner ordered to pay ex-wife $130,000 *per month* in child supportIt's absurd that guys who were providing for one household (with perhaps some help from partner or not) is just expected to now provide for his own household plus a portion of another and nothing is supposed to give at all. How is that even possible? If they're maintaining same lifestyle at mom's they definitely aren't at dads because that money had to come from somewhere. Courts are playing dumb or incredibly naiive to think a divorce happens and life just continues along. Some sacrifices have … | /r/MensRights | 17/07/23 05:46 AM |
| 3 | Just had to lie to my daughter about a photo of my ex-wife naked with another man.May wonder that now but at some point she will see he always tried to take the high ground in consideration for his children. My ex tried talking bad about me and had kids asking me questions. I tried.to.be diplomatic and only answer pointed questions. Now my oldest is.startimg to tell me her.mother.is mean and even saying she just relies on everyone else for everything she has | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/23 08:01 PM |
| 1 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise?Even worse they claim the guy is perverted and creepy and sexualizing it for some reason (nobody could explain that.. soemthing Bout them just assuming that he thought she might get pleasure.. no indication it even crossed his mind). Then for some reason I was apparently subconsciously doing that. Apparently they can read minds... Soemthing we are always expected to do | /r/MensRights | 16/07/23 03:14 PM |
| 3 | One of my friends has to pay alimony to his ex indefinitely, and I think it's insane.I don't get it. If two people share custody and one wants to move aren't they typically sol unless they both agree? And why shouldn't they be? Would think courts would typically rule against uprooting the kids. It's almost always selfish reasons and when you're removing one parent out of their lives it damaging.. psychologists all know that. Thr burden should be high to prove that you can't survive there because you can't make ends.meet but it's the opposite by the sounds of it | /r/MensRights | 15/07/23 03:07 PM |
| 1 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?As I mentioned the only real protection in place whem there isn't much hard evidence either way is suppress info to outside world in general. In most cases the results will be inconclusive which means either a perp got away or a guy suffered terrible consequences for nothing.. we can at least try to mitigate that with the above..but yes if they can prove with little doubt it was a scheme make an example of them and discourage others from it. Burden needs to be high though as usual. One person is… | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 07:42 PM |
| 1 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?Yes there should absolutely be consequences of it can be proved it was some scheme of theirs. Problem is it's rare to actually be able to prove that. If it were as simple as he wasn't even home and had an alibi absolutely.. otherwise you'd be looking at a friend's confession or having them on a recording admitting to it etc. Only real solution would be a gag order on there types of cases where everything is kept confidential between parties and those present. Many of these all you know is they h… | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 07:29 PM |
| 2 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?Thr burden of proof on the guy is high I'd he wanted to go after then for defamation. That's what we are discussing. I still don't believe the poster is wrong. Guilty and innocent are not just used in a legal setting. There are a lot of things I'm guilty of in my lifetime but no courts have made a ruling on them If it makes you feel better we can simply say he's declared innocent but it doesn't mean he didn't do it | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 07:08 PM |
| 0 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?Yeah that's my point. We agree here. Assumption of innocence doesnt prove guilt of the other. There is a burden there that may be hard to prove. There is a gap in between. All we can clean from the article is yes they had sex or physical contact on a bed (both parties confirmed). We just don't know much beyond that from details given | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:56 PM |
| 3 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?You seem to be missing the entire point of the thread. Nobody is saying he should be in prison. The whole thread is talking about why the women aren't being charged with defamation or facing charges of some kind. The point the poster was alluding to is that just because the guy is innocent in the eyes of the law you can't turn around and assume the other party is now guilty. It doesn't work that way for reasons it seems we both understand here. Somehow we got bigged down by semantics. You requir… | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:50 PM |
| 1 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?I feel it should be common sense but thank you stranger lol | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:41 PM |
| 0 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?We are getting too into semantics here. You can be personally guilty of doing something but not guilty in the eyes of the law. Happens all the time. You know what they mean and it is also dependent on context | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:40 PM |
| 4 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?Then it should become more standard. Be the same if you were accused of murder. Irreparable damage if you are innocent | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:35 PM |
| -1 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?If there were some that have evidence they never met the guy the. Absolutely they should be prosecuted. I don't see anything like that in here. The women outlined there is mutual agreement sed happened with one and the other there was physical contact on a bed with differing stories. It's anybodies guess. Nothing damaging saying that. It's the facts. Only thing you can do is try some kind of gag order so no one knows of tth trial if you want to stop anybody from pondering. It's plausible he thou… | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:31 PM |
| 1 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?I think the other poster meant legal innocence in this case is an assumed thing and it doesn't mean moral innocence. There are people guilty of crimes declared legally innocent all the time. Either way I think what he's getting at is that it's not proof that the accusers are guilty of lying. It simply means there wasn't witnesses or alibis of defendant being elsewhere at the time or signs they are beat up. He'd have to prove they consented willingly or have someone they confided in aboit wrongfu… | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:26 PM |
| 6 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?This is the right answer. Thr burden of evidence to prove someone was lying is high. Hopefully the burden of evidence to prove rape is also high.... unfortunately that does mean some guilty people get away with it. Om the other hand the way the world works is that even if there is proof you weren't even there a lot of damage is already done, which is awful..ideally there would be some gag order on ongoing cases like this but how realistic is enforcement? | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:11 PM |
| 1 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?Or.he did exactly what they accused him of and he got away due to lack of evidence. We don't know what really happened and doesn't sound like there was much evidence | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:08 PM |
| 4 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?That's literally his point though. You assume someone is innocent unless you can definitively prove they are guilty. It's an assumed.thing in the eyes of the law..it doesn't mean they didn't do it..it simply means you can't prove they did..the alternative to that is you consider everyone guilty and they have to convince you they are innocent..that means if there isn't much evidence either way and no one truly knows what happened you go to jail on any kind of accusation | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:04 PM |
| -6 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?Let's be real here. Not being convicted doesn't always mean innocence either. We have no idea what happened and maybe the courts don't either, hence the ruling..unless it specifically says there was evidence proving he was a Gentleman or we have a video of them eagerly consenting we don't know. That's the problem. The burden to prove they were just bring vindictive is super high | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 06:01 PM |
| 3 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?I'd expect burden to be high to do so. Sounds like the court prob doesn't have enough info to know which side is lying. Not enough evidence for either side | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 05:59 PM |
| 6 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?Don't need to go to law school to know innocent until proven guilty and reasonable doubt. In cases where not a lot of evidence or witnesses are present you could have a trial and counter trial for defamation or whatever and have neither one really convict either side of a.crime or of lying simply because you don't know for.sure who telling the truth | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 05:57 PM |
| 8 | Benjamin Mendy(Footballer) was accused of rape by 2 women, his career was (maybe is) ruined, lost all his sponsorship deals and endorsements, today he was found not guilty. My question now is, do the ladies face any jailtime or consequences for these false accusations and horror brought on this man?I was literally just complaining about a female echo chamber and unfortunately people are downvoting facts here. Not guilty by no means is a declaration of innocence..never had been. It simply means there is insufficient evidence or enough doubt not to declare you guilty..this guy may or may not have done everything he was accused of.. If we are going to start backlash on the accusers the burden of proof that none of.this ever happened is just as high..there is some unknown of what happened.behi… | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 05:54 PM |
| 2 | Marriage counseling failSurprisingly mine didn't go that way. She showed up basically saying fix him and thats not what she got. I'd say the first one wasn't particularly tough on either... She listened to both but ex still wanted out. Thr pastor of our church said give it another shot we will cover.this guy I know and he's good. Well the guy didn't beat around the bush. was kinda shocked.he was both a counsellor but also ordained I believe and he cursed a lot when role playing lol. He basically told my ex when you shu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/23 02:15 PM |
| 3 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise?Fair enough. That's probably wise. It does seem it often turns into them vs us somehow. Seemed less about their struggles and more just slandering a guy none of them know and downvoting and criticizing anyone that didn't tow the line. Pretty much zero to do with the biology or logistics of it | /r/MensRights | 14/07/23 12:18 AM |
| 17 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise?This was on parenting but never knew you can't even mention mommit on daddit. I'm pretty sure I've seent a female on there once or twice but maybe in wrong. I could be mixing that up with this group and I know we have a couple in here. Wouldn't even think to go onto mommit myself. | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 10:30 PM |
| 21 | I made a mistake, help (17m)Yeah that's a type you should def stay away from, but I guess you know it now. Wants to be a 'good girl' and then play with fire and blurs the lines. I'm a Christian as well and that's a very double minded person. You don't boast about being pure while bending every rule and tempting your boyfriend like that. It's someone who lacks conviction, boundaries, and a 'code'. No honour or integrity. Chances are she's saying this because she feels guilty after the fact and wants to still be daddy's good… | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 09:47 PM |
| 14 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise?I mean yeah that's essentially all i was pointing out too. No need to slander this guy becauss he may not understand everything about feminine hygiene.. doesn't make him a creep. But I'm a man so get out and let us keep slandering him and somehow making it about my lack of knowledge (which was irrelevant and stated clearly) and somehow making it us vs them | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 09:10 PM |
| 8 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise?No there are definitely pads. I had two older sisters and tampons in our household at least were always seen as more of an adult thing. Dunno if it was just the mentality badk then or just our household. Teenage sisters used to even joke about not wanting to put something up there. I literally came out and said I was clueless and was saying hey this other dad isn't just being pervy or creepy . He just doesn't know and has concerns about a little girl doing something that could potentially have r… | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 09:06 PM |
| 37 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise?Wow..I have been a. Part of daddit for a bit here and I can't say I've ever seen a post calling out wives like that. Really telling | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 08:57 PM |
| 54 | Is parenting sub a feminist (even misandrist?) sub in disguise?Yeah I've browsed daddit before. Seems like a bunch of bros just being supportive but don't think they are offended by any women that chime in, same as here. I'll stick to that one and unsub form parenting | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 06:38 PM |
| 2 | Now they're calling Trans Men winning beauty pageants brazen misogyny"Sure but since when is the most attractive girl in the room the winner of these things right? | /r/MensRights | 13/07/23 03:43 PM |
| 4 | Trying to take kids awayDunno about no problem..took me two years plenty of $$$ and looks like I finally have 50/50. All they have to do is try and make you out to be a bad.dad, embellish or make stuff.up the nthry start you every other weekend until they sort it out and then you're stuck making gradual changes instead of just fixing what should have been from the start. Also depends.how young they are I think | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 05:58 AM |
| 2 | Does Everyone Hate Their Ex?Yeah I get that. Is the child support and section 7 (not sure if you have it there) not enough for groceries? Has she been out of work for a while now? I take it yes to both as generally a person would give it almost everything else before having an empty fridge if it really was empty. I know my payments are like almost 1/3 or my take home and she has rich family, lots of vacations ,fully paid house..and yet when I see a crappy backpack or shoes I want to step in. I still bring it to her attenti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 05:53 PM |
| 3 | Does Everyone Hate Their Ex?I agree with you and try my best to get along with the ex. I'm saying some people actually hang out and still call their ex their friend..imo one or both have up too quickly I'd you still wanna hang out. Most people wouldn't divorce if they still enjoyed the others company. Kinda makes you wonder what they expected marriage over a long term to look like | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 04:32 PM |
| 10 | Does Everyone Hate Their Ex?Hate I'd a term I don't like to use. I hope some day she loses her restlessness and actually finds some kind of peace..In the meantime I wish she'd simmer down and stop trying to still control me and the kids so much and beimg manipulative.. trying to guilt etc..I wish she'd look for a job and stop expecting me to pay for most activities on top of all.thr support and relying on subsidies and abusing gov benefits. I always question those people who are apparently still buddies with their ex, espe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 04:14 PM |
| 9 | Male domestic abuse victims 'suffering in silence'Or they stand up for themselves and are suddenly criminals | /r/MensRights | 11/07/23 10:53 PM |
| 1 | Ex-Wife stole $3K…what recourse do I have?My ex was using my benefits still and had changed to her banking info for a reimbursement. She got my reimbursement for when I took my daughter to hospital in ambulance after hit and run. I promptly changed info, locked her out of it, told her reimbursement went through me and kept hers until difference was paid then I started transferring her the reimbursements going forward. Maybe some kids expenses (not child support, no no) you can take similar approach. If she protests you can tell her why | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/23 10:19 PM |
| 1 | How to deal with simps & how to deal with women manipulating empathetic men.Honestly... It kind of makes you wonder when you hear people don't want to work anymore, labour shortage etc. We all know shortage is in lower paid jobs.. so perhaps the women (not saying men wouldn't if demand was there) who didn't want to work lower end jobs and would rather do only fans are part of the gap? It's sorta humourous to think about. Like yeah a bigger population is retiring but this labour shortage did occur around same time as the rise of those platforms... | /r/MensRights | 11/07/23 08:34 PM |
| 2 | Is it worth fighting for shared custody if your partner accused you of sexually molesting your daughters, and it was proved that she made the whole thing up and left with the kids and never admitted she lied?Yeah for some reason I don't think Mary was adding fuel to the fire. Anytime someone says you should be willing to sacrifice yourself for your wife like Christ for the church I'd be tempting to ask if she is treating you like that church treats Christ or like how sarai submitted to Abraham and called him lord. Gets pretty tiring when it's only one sided. I do get not wanting mother away from kids, but it sounds like she needs help and it may be more damaging to just allow her to continue at some… | /r/MensRights | 10/07/23 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Marriage is not about love. It's an economic contract.Yup that is the problem. Everyone is on best behaviour until ring is on usually. Everyone thinks it's won't be them. The problem is there isn't nearly enough upside for the type of life ruining risk you take on. Most of the desire is simply hormonal and fades with time. Kids are the one main tangible benefit... Ans you hope they aren't too messed.up when it falls apart..they become part of that risk | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/23 03:15 PM |
| 3 | OLD - "My ex was abusive" lineMake sure they actually have something to offer themselves other than just not aging as badly ws the others in the pool. And yeah good luck you're touching the stove again. Hopefully it's.not too hot and you have better luck this time around... | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/23 05:40 PM |
| 8 | OLD - "My ex was abusive" lineSame. Very common for people with personality disorders I. Particular to call everyone else abusive when there is a common denominator in the middle of it all. The odd thing is normal.mentally healthy people don't go around telling everyone that their ex was abusive even if they were. Most people feel some shame about being in such a relationship warranted or.not | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/23 05:36 PM |
| 13 | I filed a petition for paternity testing today.I'd be worried she put your name in the birth cert. Aren't there like horror stories of someone owing support even though a paternity test showed they weren't their kid just because the mother put their name down? Best to find out either way. It's always a risk even if it's a small one | /r/MensRights | 06/07/23 03:11 PM |
| 6 | How much did divorce cost you?Not quite over yet but about 50-60k it's looking like... We have to be close at this point... But at least in Canada things like support and section 7 gets reviewed yearly. If she continues to be such a pain in the ass any adjustments I try fot.she will make it cost me every year. Legal costs are zero concern when you have rich family. It'll be well she should be paying more of her share but how much is it gonna cost me to get that | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/23 03:26 PM |
| 8 | How much did divorce cost you?Same... My kids are the one blessing I take from it.. did see a different part of the world too.. I try to take what I can from it.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/23 03:24 PM |
| 5 | Why is “incel” and “neckbeard” the go insult in any argument about men’s rights?Those are also terrible remarks. All come.back to attacking the person instead of having an argument and they don't know a damn thing about you. | /r/MensRights | 04/07/23 03:00 PM |
| 3 | Is it worth fighting for shared custody if your partner accused you of sexually molesting your daughters, and it was proved that she made the whole thing up and left with the kids and never admitted she lied?It's war at this point. I wouldn't just fight for shared I'd fight for full custody. I'd also ask for a psych evaluation on her even if it means you have to disclose her past. You can't be too focused on holding the high moral ground unfortunately at this point and it is relevant.. her past trauma is causing her to act irrational and it's even possible someone in her side of the family is guilty of what they're trying to pin on you. This is not the behaviour of a mentally healthy person.i would … | /r/MensRights | 03/07/23 05:15 PM |
| 6 | Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs a bill ending permanent alimonyMostly the MIL. Awful person, my family knee what kind of person her mother was day one. Yeah she kept trying to convince my ex to sign soemthing saying like if anything happened to her the wealth would go back to them and such. Yeah she never liked me from the start. It's funny cause I think she was the first person I knew past surface level that I just flat out decided I didn't like them one bit. I pretty much have always got along with everyone even if not everyone is my favourite person, but… | /r/MensRights | 02/07/23 03:25 AM |
| 38 | Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs a bill ending permanent alimonyMy ex has rich family, lives in what was formerly our nice big 5 bed house with a nice yard. Family paid it off. We started divorce before covid then hunkered down, had been wanting out well befofe that and did nothing to become financially independent. I've been out two years and she hasn't even looked for a job to my knowledge. She has no issues racking up legal fees to keep me below 40% for that time.. even being in contempt basically on our agreement that hasn't been signed yet. So I've been… | /r/MensRights | 01/07/23 06:54 PM |
| 2 | Wife’s new 23 year old bfShe may look good now, but it's all downhill. If he wife's that up before you know it she'll be 40 and not just less attractive but not as active.. meanwhile his buddies will be with 22 year olds who are more attractive and able to keep up with weekend activities | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/23 05:03 PM |
| 6 | "Not all men" is a completely reasonable response to sexist bigotryIf you decide you are done with dating/marriage they will gladly say not all some are like that.. to which you respond sure..but I'm not willing to take that kind of risk..some will use the Russian roulette metaphor of some chambers have bullets. Of course it's never all | /r/MensRights | 30/06/23 08:50 PM |
| 6 | Finding your next relationship"well they ended miserably, oo let's do it again!" | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/23 03:32 PM |
| 21 | It’s not misogyny staying a bachelor. For many men it’s common sense. Don’t let the media groom you or shame you into thinking otherwise.Yeah they love to spread this crap that women just slaved away all day, had no say in anything at home, etc. I dunno about you, but if I didn't have to worry about anything but cooking and keeping a place in decent shape while someone else worries.abiut financial I'd be pretty happy. The first few years in a child life can be stressful but then they are gone a good chunk of the day..the idea that they just do whatever the man says and are nothing but servants has also been shown to be a lie. We … | /r/MensRights | 30/06/23 03:02 PM |
| 4 | Why do people get married in 2023 when the divorce rate is so high?Pretty much I grew up basically with people around me saying the only reason divorce happens is because people are selfish, just don't be selfish and you'll be fine. I even encountered this is in Christian sub with someone saying getting married too young can be a mistake and another poster basically saying well mine worked out, just don't be selfish. Not only is it overly simplistic, but it also doesn't account for the other person at all and just assumes you are 100% in control. The reality is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/23 02:20 PM |
| 4 | I cannot believe this is my reality.At some point you start simply referring to them as 'my kids mother'. That's what they need to become and nothing more | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/23 06:39 PM |
| 7 | Declining female dating standardsNah I don't think so. Had in laws SE Asia and most of what I observed was women ruled the roost and men were mainly worker bees and ATMs.. the women may be thinner with more delicate features but often proud and masculine acting.. in some ways more superficial as well. My coworker used the word high maintenance and he's actually right. I remember seeing 40+ old women getting ready fot a family gathering and it was like a competition trying to strut their stuff mainly to try and outdo the other w… | /r/MensRights | 28/06/23 03:17 PM |
| 1 | What did you do with your ringYeah same as mine..I think I put it in a little box somewhere. No idea why I didn't throw it out. Think was like a reminder/warning never again lol..but also my beliefs is marriage is only once | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/23 09:49 PM |
| 7 | What did you do with your ringThat's a beautiful image actually. I'm also a believer | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/23 09:48 PM |
| 5 | More delay tacticsThat's the problem when you don't start out default 50/50 (of we are talking custody). Mine there false accusations which it course proved falSe, but in meantime I had started with less custody.. so or course delay as long as possible..you'd think I was trying to build a pipeline in Canada or something with the delays | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/23 01:16 PM |
| 3 | "A real man never hits a woman."Yeah I never understood that argument either. If they're twice your size and you go picking a fight you got what's coming. You're not a victim. If it was a smaller dude people would be saying let him have what's coming. Like that's just stupidity and lack of self awareness (sure it doesn't always work out that way, but generally you should try not to pick a fight with people much bigger.. women just think there is no consequences.. and quite frankly if you get hit in the head it doesn't matter h… | /r/MensRights | 26/06/23 04:52 PM |
| 1 | Where have all the MGTOW gone?It's nuts. Even debating Canadian politics someone brought up the conservative leader or at least someone on his team had linked mgtow. Twice now someone has said oh he's tied to incel groups and twice I've had to explain how that was and when I checked it out it was full of divorced men who were tired of it. Trudeau himself just labelled it misogynistic and seen other media claiming it as such. Way to paint everyone with a broad brush. I know it wasn't always moderated as tightly as it could be… | /r/MensRights | 26/06/23 03:10 PM |
| 15 | Anyone here feel like they're just never gonna date again?Really shouldn't be an outlier. No idea what goes through some people's heads. It's like oh I lost a bunch of time with my kids, I'm a shell of my former self and remembering who I was, my savings are depleted, and I'm broke until my kids move out.. oo let's do that again! Like what the...even kids don't want to touch the stove again after they get burned.. I mean sure they look appealing | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/23 04:19 AM |
| 2 | Lonely now as I was then.Yeah mine just always has to be the victim. If you were hurting she had to make it about herself and she could never accept blame if she was the source of it. Somehow the conversation would end with you being the ahole. And yes boundaries was a huge issue. Anything but a a very loudly stated no was a yes... I need time to think about it, or maybe, or any reluctance without offending her way a yes. Like for home renos or kids being signed up for soemthing etx. Was also never happy and always tink… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Lonely now as I was then.Mine was reduced to part time when we got married then laid off a year later. Always some reason she couldn't work like her back.. and then kids etc. Needless to say depsite my misgivings the story later was I gave up my career so I could watch the kids and we both wanted it. I did see her push away her best friend. She said some joke in bad taste, friend got offended, then suddenly she decided to turn the tables and bring up every last offense this friend ever committed over the years instead o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 06:32 PM |
| 1 | Lonely now as I was then.For some of us it'd less neglected and more guilted into isolation unfortunately. The rare time I went out I had to take a kid with me too lol. Oh that and she pushed people away. One couple I liked admitted after she made them uncomfortable and didn't like the way she seemed to undermine me. My sister never liked her either and vice versa and or course the 'roght thing' is to side with your wife, so didn't maintain much contact. Divorce hits a d we picked up where we left off | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 06:24 PM |
| 6 | Lonely now as I was then.Personally I realized I never actually felt real loneliness until I was married. Less lonely now then I was for years in my marriage and depsite being single for most of my first 24ish years I never felt as lonely back then as I did in my marriage. Always had at least a few solid friendships and kept active. I'm mostly happy being ledt alone now and choosing when I want to be around people, like hiking groups and odd meetup, although I also have time with my kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 02:46 PM |
| 4 | Kevin Costner's STBXW says $248,000 in monthly child support isn't enough. Men, here's yet another shipwreck on the rocks whose only purpose now is to warn others.How anyone can spend that much every month beiwlders me .. and if somehow they were in the past so what. Cry me a river that your kids will be slightly less spoiled brats because you left your husband. They can still live very good lives on a fraction of that and are much more fortunate than many other children of divorce wherr real sacrifices have to be made | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/23 10:38 PM |
| 9 | Was it worth it?My family basically said they were sad but not surprised. That they hated some of the behaviour they could see behind the scenes and some of the less subtle stuff. That they knew I bent over backwards for her but that she treated me as a servant a lot of the time. They also thought she was lazy as hell... | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/23 09:40 PM |
| 18 | Was it worth it?Well she is the one that wanted out, bur sure ran out of reasons to want to stop her. Can't imagine still being with her. It's bad enough having to still deal with her for co parenting. Became more and more like her mother (she sweared she would never be like her). Just became an awful human (and maybe true colours came out) being over time and worry she will rub off on my kids. Thank goodness I have my space. I had almost given up on having any personal joy outside raising my kids. I'll say I'm… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/23 09:27 PM |
| 13 | Reddit today is full of posts from husbands and fathers who’s wives shafted them on Father’s DayYeah I've certainly noticed a few as well..I did see one who's wife was pregnant and hard for both, but still felt bad for him. It wasn't bad for me a single dad just spending time with my kids. In past would get BBQ implements or shampoo or something stupid. Ex did manage to make my birthday shitty today though. Already screwd up my summer but booking 3/4 of it for her and the kids when I thought agreement was one month each.. then today saying I'm hoping she wants the kids during the day while… | /r/MensRights | 20/06/23 05:13 AM |
| 5 | Video Games in your 40s?You've found a long list of things you don't like lol. Surely there is something? All I'll say is a hobby doesn't need to be productive or contribute to any kind of development. Not everything needs to become some type of work. Could try joining an outdoors club where you can try a huge variety of things an maybe find one you like. Although judging by your list maybe you're not an outdoors person. Since you seem to be all about productivity you might like soemthing like woodworking, but that doe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/23 02:09 AM |
| 15 | Anyone else's ex completely change?She acted interesting and was at her best when you first married her too. Onxe she snared you all thar went away. It'll.be the same for the next guy | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/23 06:45 PM |
| 8 | Is marriage that bad?My question is usually is it that good? We all know how bad it is when the bottom falls out. Literally can ruin your life.. best case with kids is you concede you will probably scrape by until they're adults. So is a decent marriage good enough to take on that kinds of risk? If you go by the white picket fence dream we are sold sure.. if you have close friends and family (once you're married yourself they are more candid and you pick up on things more) I'd say that's a tough sell.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/23 06:25 PM |
| 2 | "Missouri moves toward 50/50 child custody law, raising concerns about abuse victims"I skimmed through the article and still left wondering what is their actual argument? They're worried that kids may be forced to live with an abusive parent (although article seems to call out only fathers), but it also states that judges will hear any objections with proper evidence.. it's just starting on equal footing. It says 28% of the time allegations from mothers make false accusations they lose custody. Note it says allegations.. maybe they had good reason and maybe it's not even high en… | /r/MensRights | 14/06/23 04:58 PM |
| 2 | "Missouri moves toward 50/50 child custody law, raising concerns about abuse victims"They do and I think you had his best interests in mind. You did nothing wrong. It is really too bad she prioritized the new guy over her own kid. She knew by doing so her kid would not have both parents in their life regularly. Selfishly put her love life first. Once they're grown up by all means indulge, but she would rather chase romance than setup their kid as best as she could | /r/MensRights | 14/06/23 03:26 PM |
| 3 | "Missouri moves toward 50/50 child custody law, raising concerns about abuse victims"I feel for the kids more than anything. Mom essentially abandoned them (unless she flat out couldn't find a job there and as gonna be homeless or soemthing). But yeah that legal bill is life changing. It's insane how the legal system favours people who have money and sowmtimes it's less about who's right and who can even afford to fight it. When you win you still lose. Like at some point there should be consequences for people maintaining frivolous legal battles and delaying the inevitable | /r/MensRights | 14/06/23 02:58 PM |
| 21 | Are we dating the same guy (screenshots)Irs funny because apparently the leader of the conservative party here in Canada has some YouTube videos tagged to mgtow (I'm sure someone uploads for him, not done personally). You ask why they think he's a fanatic and they say he's part of some incel group. Had to inform a couple people majority of mgtow are like older divorced guys who got burned really bad and don't want to do it again. When they said that about him it was like oh bonus points for him. It's funny how much it offends people t… | /r/MensRights | 14/06/23 05:53 AM |
| 3 | Kids vs careerI'm at the point I've conceded I may just be stuck renting for now based on where there mother lives and wanting to be within a 15 min drive. Otherwise I'd move into an cheaper area of the city. I've also stayed at my company as long as I have because I can still wfh and flexibility to pick up and drop them off and manage my hours better even though I could prob make more elsewhere. As costs go up I may not have much choice but to make another job work and they're getting older. I've conceded th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 09:16 PM |
| 1 | The end game :-(It takes both people really having self control and selflessness to work.. it only takes one person being selfish or taking the other for granted to come crashing down (albeit that it can be a slow and painful process). That's the problem with it.. a lot can set in over decades and you can do everything right (well not everything, but you can be a decent spouse) but that is still no guarantee it won't end. More often than not both have their little grievances or differences that grow and one or … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 05:48 PM |
| 3 | The end game :-(If you are really splitting (breaks normally end that way) onr thing I think you should try to at least mull over is the idea that there are no soul mates. It might help keep things in perspective moving forward. There are many people that will cross your path of varying degrees of like mindedness and compatibility, but a few people you come across in your journey will simply stand taller above the majority. I think the fact you are splitting is a testament to that and I think (my own opinion) t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 05:27 PM |
| 3 | Have your views changed on the idea that women are more empathetic than men?I think some of it is women group bias. They stick together and cover for each other even when they're in the wrong.. so seen as more empathetic to each other (and they seem to love labels and suggesting what a real man would do or not). Their kids are also an extension of them so yrs they're empathetic. They're generally a lot less empathetic to men. On the other hand we tend to not play favourites as much and a bit less partial. I've called out my ex bs but in a fairly gentle manner when she w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 04:00 PM |
| 1 | Have your views changed on the idea that women are more empathetic than men?I feel it has more to do with things like honour being drilled into a man that prevents them from being manipulative (although with honour deteriorating male manipulation on the rise.. especially men who prioritize things like wealth and status) | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 03:56 PM |
| 33 | Women Are Given Very Bad Dating Advice.I haven't had sex for years and don't plan to in the future. I also haven't masturbated in months. Yeah it can be hard to go cold turkey, but needs and wants are different. It is possible to have self control and difference between needs and wants | /r/MensRights | 12/06/23 05:19 PM |
| 2 | Couldn't control with money so tried to use the kidsDepends where. I know locally nothing like that is admissible. Need both people's consent | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/23 03:46 PM |
| 3 | Would you marry again?I look at it this way. The chances of everything going well even decades down the road is very small.. and what's the best case scenario? It's not some Disney ending. Best case it you stay enough out if each other's way, you're familiar, you're a team. At some point it isn't exciting anymore. On the other hand the chances that you'll either divorce or tough it out are very high and the consequences are life changing.. set you back years, damage your mental health, you might have a hard time enjo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/23 04:47 AM |
| 1 | One year after divorce, I'm fighting Parental Annihilation.Yeah when I moved out I found a place literally next door to my daughter school (grandma was paying for private because her family is too good for regular riff Raff). She was telling me I'd have to move because 15 min drive is too far. Kids need to be able to walk back to her place in case of emergency lol. I had same questions like what emergency.. and then further line of questioning like ok so even if it's around same neighborhood you want her walking 20 mins 8 years old by herself? Fr a whil… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/23 04:28 PM |
| 23 | The answer to 'misogyny kills, misandry only hurts feelings'I had the most frustrating argument in another sub with someone who argued that homeless women had it so much harder than homeless men and thus there is a reason there is more support to keep women off the streets. Reminder me of the women most affected by war bs | /r/MensRights | 11/06/23 04:18 PM |
| -1 | 1/3 of all men below 30 have never had sex, my brother being one, how do I help?You act like it's so complicated. Think there are many people that wouldnt mind helping a person learn some of the nuances. Better than being with someone who has a huge body count imo. My ex didn't mind who was 31 | /r/MensRights | 11/06/23 03:23 PM |
| 42 | 1/3 of all men below 30 have never had sex, my brother being one, how do I help?Yikes.. why is it such a big deal he's a virgin? I waited til I was married at 24 and quite frankly I'm no better off today because of it. Well actually I had kids so I am in that regard only. Aside from them I was better off early 20s as a virgin than I am today. Having sex doesn't suddenly make your life better | /r/MensRights | 11/06/23 02:04 AM |
| 5 | I've paid what I can to Child Support.Yeah us guys want to do the right thing and it hurts our pride, but when income loss comes we should be looking to reduce support. Unfortunately I could see legal costs being a barrier. I'm not in the site straits you are in, but just wanna say I can't believe the nerve or some moms to use.thr word deadbeat while sitting on their ass and collecting form everyone else. My daughter called her mom out the other day. Been a couple years since I've been out (and that was a couple years in the making)… | /r/MensRights | 10/06/23 04:34 PM |
| 6 | Misogyny helped jail a mother for 20 years - but science freed herIt's unfortunate the kids genetics was as messed up as it was. Not gonna lie.. if I heard a mother with traumatic past (or father.. stay at home dad's becoming more common) was looking after their kids and all four passed away without much explanation I'd assume funny business was going on as well. Reasonable doubt and innocent until proven guilty should be applied but it does look bad and it's got nothing to do with gender | /r/MensRights | 08/06/23 02:27 PM |
| 1 | How long did your uncontested divorce take?Two years and still wrapping up some final details. Kids make things take a long time.. well that and someone who is on lawyer #4 and strong arms everyone into switching mediator/arbitrator. I'd been told originally would be faster than waiting for court date and cheaper.. then I was told they won't just take your entire divorce case but one item at a time and only gradual adjustments to custody (which is what happened anyways). Apparently Canada courts will only take issues when you've proven y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/23 06:21 PM |
| 2 | Marriage is going down the drain and she has the kidIf you want to save the marriage this is knew case where counselling may help. A third party may be able to provide some perspective of how having the MIL may affect you and being disrespected in your home and give perspective hoe she might feel about having her mother there to help etc. Better than before it gets more out of Control and especially as you look to move back in | /r/MensRights | 07/06/23 01:21 PM |
| 3 | Why are we so easily to call the way she’s behaving BPD?It's always everyone else that's wrong. Every ex is toxic. Oh and accused me of being autistic. I've heard that's common too. If everything isn't the end of the world and you start to tune out my crazy outbursts you must be autistic. You have no empathy etc | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 06:57 PM |
| 2 | Why are we so easily to call the way she’s behaving BPD?As others mentioned good luck having them diagnosed. Most people that are cluster b by definition would never be open to actually thinking they have an issue and need to seek help about it. Personally I allowed myself to be blamed for literally everything for several years... I thought a lot of her reactions were extreme and unusual. I knew she had depression and chalked it up to that for a while. I saw her push away long time friends like one who had an issue with her (she was definitely in the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 06:50 PM |
| 1 | Why are we so easily to call the way she’s behaving BPD?May I ask how she even came to be diagnosed if she was resistant? You somehow talked her into going and getting it verified? | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 06:43 PM |
| 5 | Divorce is just brutal.I personally had my lines I couldn't cross, but I understand the temptation after being treated like crap for a while in my marriage. As bad as it sounds I remember when she was first pregnant how bad she could be.. not just regular hormones, but bringing me to tears and basically saying it's my right as a pregnant person to treat you this way and just suck it up. As you can imagine the same attitude didn't just stop after giving birth either. I remember having a pretty coworker who was not just… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 04:19 PM |
| 1 | Seeking anecdotes about spouse who moved too far away to make 50/50 custody possible.Don't see why any arbitrator or judge would see her move as anything but selfish. Everyone is supposed to have kids best interest in mind and she's already proved she prioritizes soneone else above them or two (herself and her lover). But then again a lot of that is lip service. Literally have thr castle and the shack situation where I'm the one living in the much smaller place working my tail off paying support... | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/23 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Seeking anecdotes about spouse who moved too far away to make 50/50 custody possible.Amazing how selfish people can be. Yeah I'm gonna create a situation where it's difficult for children to see both parents regularly and have to make long drives... All because I want to get laid.... That said she should be the one who gets the shaft in custody. Overall sucks for the kids, but mom is selfish and didn't put them first | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/23 11:04 PM |
| 2 | Story time, Have any of you ever experienced sexism when going to a female therapist or counselor?Sorta yes sorta no. We agreed in mediation that I'd have two extra days a month starting January. We just didn't type up the agreement and sign it because of pending section 7 stuff (extra curricular/medical). We could never come to an agreement on s7 so she has withheld those extra days over 5 months now. She's held my kids hostage because of money essentially. I'm stuck paying 8k for 16 months (original bill was 17k before splitting, I was willing to pay up to I think 6, but it would cost me t… | /r/MensRights | 05/06/23 04:23 PM |
| 2 | Story time, Have any of you ever experienced sexism when going to a female therapist or counselor?That's shitty. Sorry to hear all that crap. My ex tried to embellish too fairly harmless situations when she realIized shit was going sideways for her. Mediator and my lawyer essentially rolled their eyes and said mom's try this crap all the time and fine we'll have a psychologist talk to the kid. Well naturally psychologist didn't find anything.. most of her notes were basically saying way too much talking around the child, knows way too much about divorce. If you read between the lines it was … | /r/MensRights | 05/06/23 04:05 PM |
| 3 | Story time, Have any of you ever experienced sexism when going to a female therapist or counselor?If you don't mind me asking is it ADHD? My ex became convinced, partially do to her boyfriend who is some kinda gp that somehow deals more with kids that have those conditions.. the family doc referred her to a pediatrician and next thing I know oldest is in meds. I asked to speak to pediatrician. He basically admitted he just listened to what mom told him and said she was in tears and desperate. Said oldest def wasn't your classic case but showed some traits that could be.. said she was a compl… | /r/MensRights | 05/06/23 01:48 PM |
| 78 | Marry Him: The case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough*raises hand. Yup mine basically admitted that she'd settled and showed in her resentment. Moment she got pregnant a second time it was pretty much over. Last then i saw her naked. Oh ultrasound shows i. Pregnant? Close up shop | /r/MensRights | 04/06/23 12:09 AM |
| 1 | Question about potential child supportPeople exaggerate a little unfortunately. Condom properly used is 98%, or 2% chance of conception. With pill still about 1%. Still low, but not insignificant.. just something people don't realize when you spend a lot of time fooling around. Most of these stats are right on the walls in health clinics. I'd she's messing around with a bunch of different guys an accident could happen. If for whatever reason she does claim it's you simply get a DNA test | /r/MensRights | 03/06/23 07:58 PM |
| 2 | Did you all feel like a loser after all of this?Ngl I love just hanging around by myself when kids aren't here. Like to game. If buddies come in I'll drop what in doing and jump in soemthing multiplayer.. occasionally I do meet ho with themz but rarely feel bad about just enjoying my space. And yeah going to the gym | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/23 02:36 AM |
| 8 | Two of my kids are hinting that I should pay mom more so she can better take care of herself (disregarding my survival)... has this ever happened to anyone else?Sounds like mom has been telling them how destitute she is and how dad is just selfish etc. Mine tried that for a bit. Don't actually agree with the other poster about telling them exact costs, at least when they re young. Maybe his kids are older. I don't want to put that kinda burden on a young kid. I have said I give her money every month for food and clothes and left it at that. I've been out for 2 years and my oldest (10 yo) is starting to realize things..she has basically said her mom blam… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 07:13 PM |
| 3 | My ex had a mental breakdown during meditationYeah mine showed up and started crying almost immediately. The mediator/arbitrator at the time was making comments like what did she expect? She's only realizing now life is gkn a change? Also got a bit more than I originally asked for.. unfortunately she tried to take it out in me next day with panic attack drama and taking kids to a Shelter after.. never faced any consequences for that despite no explanation. That was just the financials. Unfortunately she also wanted to change med/arb person … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 02:55 PM |
| 2 | Why did she cry?A lot of time I don't respond as well. Can't just not read cause sometimes it pertains to the kids. The k is usually when she's mad | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 02:11 PM |
| 1 | Control is a helluva drugThat would go against our mediation that specifically says we have to let them know a coupoe months in advance and give them two weeks to essentially sign off on it. That's the very issue I had with her plans.. well that and she took more than her share. At this point I'm sure tickets have gone up too much a we are getting too close. The whole book it and just tell them when it is.. well that's the bulldozing arrogance she's know for. Def won't stoop to that level or be dumb enough to risk thous… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 12:58 PM |
| 6 | Control is a helluva drugA few weeks ago my ex tells me she's booked the first six weeks of summer, this is when she will leave and be back.. uhh that's not what we discussed.. I was just about to book a trip first week of August... She points to some obscure incoherent thing written in the notes of our last meeting that isn't signed and formalized... Even though right under summer it says one month each and have two weeks to say yes or no and should be reasonable. So yeah she's screwed me because now I can't take my tr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 01:57 AM |
| 1 | My brother was killed by his partner - men must speak up about abuseYeah struggling due to paying child support for two kids (yeah stuck around too long and actually thought things were getting better) and rent has gone up a few hundred dollars over last coupoe years. | /r/MensRights | 01/06/23 02:39 PM |
| 2 | Why did she cry?A lot of her long rants in chat get responded to with a 'k' | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/23 01:38 PM |
| 2 | My brother was killed by his partner - men must speak up about abuseAh man that's brutal. It's insane how their seems to be no consequences either. Pretty fortunate I avoided having my life ruined but wasn't far off myself | /r/MensRights | 01/06/23 01:37 PM |
| 1 | Am I right to be pissed?Yeah I'm pretty sure mine introduced them like within a few weeks. At first my daughter was trying to help hide it when i dropped soemthing off during a BBQ and she was quickly escorting me to car with the guys daughter asking who is this? And kids having sleepovers together not long after (along with the parents). On one hand my kids liked him which was a good sign, but I'm like I don't want them to get attached if it doesn't work out. So far it's been a year. He's basically been living there f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/23 03:02 AM |
| 95 | My brother was killed by his partner - men must speak up about abuseDamn. May he rest in peace..how many of us were tempting fate by remaining silent and staying in a similar situation too long | /r/MensRights | 31/05/23 02:36 PM |
| 18 | Why did she cry?Yup. Final nail in the coffin as we were heading to divorce was me starting to have a backbone, like saying I'm going to the gym again.. you're just gonna have to deal with me coming home a little later a couple times a week. Control is right. I remember when I moved out and I moved literally right next door to my kids school and she told me I was going to have to just move again because I'm too far away from her (11 min drive) | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/23 07:41 PM |
| 2 | Rant: Why is advice to guys on how to treat a woman so prevalent, even when it condones Domestic Violence?Personal experience is you can't fix her. If she crazy and toxic, doesn't matter how much of a victim she was in her childhood/past, you're not equipped to handle her. She needs a pro for that and st some point if she isn't willing to try help she needs to stop claiming she's the victim and realize she's created some along the way | /r/MensRights | 30/05/23 06:28 PM |
| 24 | She’s moving onI prefer to think another poor sucker is being snared... | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/23 06:24 PM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isI've told my lawyer and screenshotted nasty messages. No one really cares. It's just.. can you bear it? No judge ever got involved. They rarely do in Canada. Most of it is settled through mediation or mediation/arbitration with a third party lawyer acting as judge if it can't be settled in mediation. Judges generally don't want to see you here unless you have exhausted every other option and then it's usually just one specific issue. Most of the time it's ok, and really do relt on each other a l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 04:04 PM |
| 3 | She cheated but won’t sign papers unless I say I want a divorce.I'll say both genders have plenty of people with crap tendencies...biggest difference is society is more than ready to call men on it, but they let women get away with a lot more, will even try to blame the man. Like what did the pig do to chase you away? | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 03:57 AM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isYeah unfortunately mine just refused to OFW even though we agreed in mediation to use it. She basically just refused and figured out nobody wanted to enforce it through any punitive means | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 10:56 PM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isThat's what surprised me.. I thought she'd be in her best behaviour a lot longer than this. Maybe even until she had him locked down. Already showing her dramatic side and victim mentality and they've only been together a year. She was upset kids didn't make a bit deal about mother's day so he bought her a bunch of things. She has the audacity to complain about one of them then after he returned it had the audacity to complain she didn't get a replacement.. then when he said ok what would you li… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 05:03 PM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isMine somehow managed to snag a doctor at least for now. I honestly feel sorry for the guy and feel like screaming dude you can do better lol. Not because he has money (a lot goes to his ex) but he's an easy going dude that my kids like. We will see if it lasts. My daughter has told me a coupoe times she's more or less a B to him and that she feels sorry for him (she's 10). He even took some time away because of it recently. I think he's kind of a glutton for punishment cause his last ex sounds l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 04:20 PM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isYeah you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. Absent father, abusive narcissistic mother... Promiscuous past for validation... (And or course every ex was always tozix. Somehow we miss that red flag). And yeah I was only going to marry someone who shared my faith.. even a trusted pastor was like yeah it's amazing she is normal after all she's been through and he cared for both of us.. she had a lot of people fooled .. I'd somehow convinced myself God wanted me to marry her, that despite her … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 02:31 AM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isIf you have kids please try to put aside your anger enough to attend important moments of theirs together. Any counsellor will tell you it's important for the kids. It shows them that your love for them is greater than the enmity you have towards you let ex. That even though you don't like each other you can look past that enough to st least be united in supporting them. They can have good memories that mom and dad were both there at this or that.m instead of memories of only one or the other be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 02:02 AM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isCan't speak specifically for op, but it's very common for them to put on their best act until they've got you locked up. I remember my ex used to constantly plan different activities and even acted like she was into outdoors stuff... All that pretty much dried up after marriage. Became a huge coach potato and gained weight. Anytime I could manage to drag her along anywhere she was huffing and puffing worse than my parents. After divorce suddenly she's trying to get back in shape when this new gu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 01:59 AM |
| 1 | My ex-wife has a date tonight, and while it's killing me to know, it also reminded me of how fake she really isYup.. the moment she decides grass is greener and leaves she needs to be dead to you in that regard. Especially when you see how nasty she can be during divorce. No idea how guys can remain attracted. She's just 'my kids mother' at this point. I always said I'd feel sorry for the next sucker she ropes in. About a year after this doctor comes around.. honestly he seems like a nice dude and I'm like damn she's gonna eat you right up... But not like trying to warn him would do any good as the ex. M… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 01:51 AM |
| 0 | How’s the dating world in 2023?Either two possibilities occur He is more emotionally attached then he is letting on. He is in fact that emotionally detached.. in which case is it just for sex then mainly? Sounds like he paid an awfully big premium for an escort that doesn't leave when she done. Not only that, but he's planning on overpaying again for that service and being exclusive to only one Either way he's controlled by the desire for sex or companionship... By the posters own admission instead of enjoying his time off do… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 01:37 AM |
| 1 | How did your social life change after divorce?I was starting my divorce when covid hit, so still finding out. I feel like I at least have so many more options now anyways. So isolated and the moment I got divorced it was like people came out of the woodwork like the witch is gone? Lol. Also joined a hiking group. My sister probably literally said the line before.. she hated her. Ice got old friends that left our Bible study group, he stayed crushed at my place recently and said they left cause they were uncomfortable the way she undermined … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 10:48 PM |
| 0 | How’s the dating world in 2023?Maybe you just weren't married long enough or truly one of the rare ones. Out of all the guys I knew well enough from different walks of life I can't honestly say I feel any of them are significantly better off than when I knew them when they were single. At best them and their spouse stay out of each other's way and enjoy their children. I find many will say happily married but then you'll hear how stressed they are at home or how their wife is being a pain or unreasonable. I can't imagine some… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 08:55 PM |
| 0 | How’s the dating world in 2023?I dunno man. He sounds like too much of his self worth eas getting women. And that he wasn't comfortable just as a single dude. Pickup artists types that believe they come and go still place too much value on getting laid and what kind of women they could land. Kinda simp territory | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 08:43 PM |
| 2 | How’s the dating world in 2023?I dunno man. You were skeptical before, swear you found the perfect woman who hurt you like that. Now you're going in accepting more red flags and expecting it'll be better somehow? Or are you just changing priorities in a partner? Like loyalty is #1 but you'll accept someone less attractive etc ? I feel like most divorced people make the mistake of not joining groups and getting back into hobbies and meeting like minded people to be friends. If you're lonely and incomplete a marriage isn't gonn… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 08:26 PM |
| 3 | How’s the dating world in 2023?That's what friends are for. Can enjoy their company, they're less volatile, and if things really do go south they won't ruin your life and take so much from you. Oh and when they act interested in your hibbies they're genuine and won't end up suddenly hating them later | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 08:21 PM |
| 0 | How’s the dating world in 2023?Ngl he kinda sounds like a simp (which I've heard a lot of service man can be). He spent so much time working just so if his wife left him he could find another and go through the same crap? Even with the belief they might just run off like that? Was he really that codependent? | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 08:19 PM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenYeah.. exactly my point. Thats just a generic mission statement for that organization | /r/MensRights | 26/05/23 02:36 PM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their Children2/4 are women and children only. The lists at bottom are a description of what the organizations do | /r/MensRights | 26/05/23 12:51 PM |
| 4 | Family lawyers and courts are dehumanizingI believe she's got borderline personality disorder, but def shows traits of other cluster b conditions. Her mother is a narc to a T. Looks down on others or lower status, kisses butt when higher status, thinks very highly of herself.. he'd own siblings are like afraid of her. So seems to run in the family. Unfortunately her mother was also abusive so that contributed to it. My ex has the most extreme reactions to everything, is a victim her whole life, I've seen her lose friends who had a griev… | /r/MensRights | 26/05/23 01:52 AM |
| 6 | Family lawyers and courts are dehumanizingYeah that's awful. I guess she's pulling some bs that doesn't allow you to share custody? Either way she clearly doesn't need the support. I had a pretty good kick the other day. In always saying she has our oldest in way too many activities and obligations.. she's practically living through the golden child. She often makes nasty comments about wanting her kids to achieve more.. other day she started an argument in front of kids and said that and I said well I was a high achiever too and she go… | /r/MensRights | 26/05/23 01:25 AM |
| 1 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenIt's just that what I read form the article doesn't sound like a women's shelter or anything. Just affordable housing they're being exclusive on. But I could be wrong | /r/MensRights | 26/05/23 01:16 AM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenNo it doesn't say that for the property. There are like three organizations all chipping in. One of the orgs happens to have that mandate. I guess two of those properties could be specifically for that, but then where is the affordable housing for single dads that are vulnerable? You never see it. We had a men's shelter locally once ran by a former victim himself. He committed suicide and it shut down with no one that wanted to fund it | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 10:50 PM |
| 20 | Family lawyers and courts are dehumanizingIf my poor kids weren't getting enough financial support then why doesn't their mother look for a damn job? She's had a couple years since she pretty much knew she wanted to leave me and a couple more years since I've moved out..she's got a fully paid house, rich family, and a doctor boyfriend basically living there | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 09:45 PM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenYou mean that's one of the organizations that's partnered for these developments. Not sure what your point is though. | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 09:42 PM |
| 5 | When you realize that Zootopia can also be about misandry (as well as racism)...I think what's interesting as I read through your thoughts (well summarized btw) is that where you say prejudiced (Apt) instead of sexism or racism like in op, I'd be more inclined to put ignorance instead. It's not that they're specifically being hateful or targetting another person, it's that they just haven't been in the others shoes and find out what they were told and conditioned to believe was false. Some people don't understand the nuances between sexist/racist and ignorance | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenWhat I can clean at the very least is that there are millions of both federal and municipal money being thrown at them | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 08:17 PM |
| – | Guess I'm joining this group for the 2nd time.This. Can be easy to blame yourself when trb other person complains all the time, but often for the complainer oddly enough nothing is ever good for them and continue to be unsatisfied.. I don't even know what to say about ADHD... My own experience with my kids is they're pretty eager to hand out that designation, but when questioned it's... Oh well she wasn't a typical case, but your ex came in crying and she had SOME traits so I said we'd try... And push comes to shove they'll admit there is n… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/23 07:40 PM |
| 3 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenWhat you're reading near the bottom there is a it of general info for one of the financial partners involved and some of the stuff they do, not that properties in question themselves. A couple are just general affordable housing and a couple specifically just list women and their children. Gotta look back up top | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Does Female Privilege Exist?Definitely some toxic comments in there as well | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 05:39 PM |
| 3 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenKinda sounds like it's for single moms.. | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenAs far as I know just need to be a woman with kids as well as be under a certain income. . I share custody with my kids and my ex would qualify and I wouldn't.. unless I'm missing something | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 04:03 PM |
| 3 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenWas just thinking about that. Unfortunately we had to close it because lack of funding after he died | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 01:53 PM |
| 1 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenYes | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 01:52 PM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenWe apparently had a men's shelter locally.. started privately by a male victim of domestic violence.. sadly when he passed there was no funding to keep it going and it closed | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 01:51 PM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenYeah I've never understood why they act like they sacrifice so much being home. Although my ex never wanted to work. Id love to be able to do so | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 01:44 PM |
| 7 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenI'll be 50/50 come July. But yeah if you're getting child support that means she makes more than you is all. Mine hasn't even bothered looking for a job cause she has rich family. We are gonna inpute min wage to start. How'd you pull off spousal support? Did you stay home with the kids for a while? | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 05:43 AM |
| 2 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenPPC is what? Primary custody?? Cause even if you have them say 30% you still need those extra bedrooms, clothing, food. Man it always pisses me off that the assumption is that the parent with more custody somehow has like double the expenses lol. I'm officially gonna be equal here but it's only a few days a month more. Has kept me around that 35% mark for as long as possible cause you hit 40 things are more split. Was like one day Ina. Two week period short | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 04:56 AM |
| 20 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenI've always been pretty minimal but don't even have a choice at this point lol. 1/3 goes to rent, 1/3 to child support and extra curriculars, 1/3 ledt for gas, groceries, insurances, resp for kids... I rarely go out other than hiking and spend like $10 on a game on sale every so often. Not much left. Have some cash from divorce but saving anything I can for a small house | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 03:44 AM |
| 20 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenIn Canada it you're 40% or more you get to share most of them . It anything less than that and you get 0 of them. She pulled all kinds of crap, made false accusations, went through 4 lawyers and made us switch mediators.. so for 2 years I clawed my say up. Finally when I file taxes for 2023 I'll actually be able to claim half of those benefits and claim a dependent I'm supporting. Child tax benefit alone was like 5k for each kid. Then claiming a dependent is similar I think. 40% is 12 days a mon… | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 03:39 AM |
| 18 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenI think it's reasonable to have stuff like under market value housing for everyone under a certain income... only amendment I might make is under a certain amount of assets as well.... I know wealthy people that have like no personal income lol | /r/MensRights | 25/05/23 12:27 AM |
| 50 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenLiterally have people in the other thread arguing that homeless women are more vulnerable and more likely to be victim of violence (that one I'm positive is bs... In general pop homicide 3x rate for men). In some ways maybe they aren't able to defend themselves as well.. kinda goes against strong and independent.. but by sheer volume men are more affected by homelessness and (or because) they receive less help. | /r/MensRights | 24/05/23 10:26 PM |
| 126 | Affordable Housing in Canada Approved, But Only Women And Their ChildrenOh and I saw this in a housing thread but it course anyone that questions it is downvoted | /r/MensRights | 24/05/23 09:33 PM |
| 3 | What do you think about this study where the only thing that seems to decrease the sentencing disparity between the sexes is to have more female judges?I think the idea that a woman can see through another woman's bs def could have some validity. It's like the older sister always telling you no stay away from that one she's drama.. or even during my mediation/arbitration. My mediator had zero patience for all the crying and complaining my ex was doing.. also knew right away when she tried to make me out to be a bad dad and said it's always the moms that try this and brought in a psychologist to talk to the kids to confirm it. My ex insisted aft… | /r/MensRights | 23/05/23 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Jeff bezos engagedJust goes to show some people are brilliant at things like business but dummies in other ways. On the other hand even if he loses a bunch in divorce and child support he won't exactly be hurting... | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/23 05:56 AM |
| 12 | Women's in-group bias vs Men not having it.I remember actually getting in trouble in my marriage because of this. It was even if I'm wrong you back me up no matter what... Uh no it's because I care that I'm gonna call you on it when I think you're out of line or bring selfish. As I would with close friends too. I try to be objective and fair and not encourage/enable crappy behaviour among people I care for | /r/MensRights | 23/05/23 02:59 AM |
| 1 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Ok I guess my suspicion has always been when people say that it's because they don't have experience outside of western women and cling to the belief they haven't abandoned tradition. Having been married into an eastern family and spent a good chunk of time overseas, ad well as talking to others who have married into similar cultures the answer is often they're just as bad or worse. Don't know a ton about divorce overseas and I think it varies a fair bit. I know depending on which country it can… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 08:17 PM |
| 1 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Personally it's.. I'm not against it.. I'm actually religious and against playing house/cohabitating.. but it's hard to recommend marriage to anyone when push comes to shove. I believe Paul and the other disciples had it right lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:44 PM |
| 2 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Yeah I'm not even sure if my kids will stay in Canada. Oldest already talking about moving overseas where exes family are. May change her tune as she's 10, certainly has thoughts planted by her mother, but could certainly find more opportunities elsewhere if she keeps that same ambition. My son is a bit different and may remain close to 'home' | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:43 PM |
| 2 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?I wish it were true... Traditionally in the past you'd be correct, but not anymore. Marriage vows and kids do nothing to keep a woman around for many people. I think my ex stuck around and put just enough effort to have kids then the moment she had our last I was essentially discarded. I never thought anyone would have kids with someone they didn't plan on staying with but I was dead wrong and she essentially admitted as much. Apparently it was she was getting older and she was either going to h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:37 PM |
| 1 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?In all honesty I don't think you'd get said trust fund anyways I'd they document things properly. I can also say if it was just about money divorce wouldn't be as devastating as it is.. although yes it does suck to feel poor until your kids grow up. I was fine letting her have a bigger share because her rich family sent her money over the years... The whole divorce process itself and fighting over the kids was much harder | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:31 PM |
| 2 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Agreed. There is a spectrum of people some more or less suitable for pairing. There is no such thing as 'the one '. There are a few people in your life you come across that could be described that way and if you're extremely discerning, luck out, and both work hard, maybe you can be 'comfortable' over the long term. No Hollywood bs. I don't have to even say what the alternative is if it fails or one person doesn't put in the effort or gets distracted by another.. or what society says | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:28 PM |
| 1 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Too little upside if you somehow win (especially long haul even if it's exciting at first), too devastating if you lose | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:23 PM |
| 2 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Little upside if you somehow win, too much risk | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:23 PM |
| 3 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Why do people feel the need to qualify it as western. Plenty of people made the mistake of thinking SE Asian might be different, myself included, and found they're just as.big of a disaster or more..very matriarchal some of those societies..all women in that family seemed to throw guys away... mine was bpd too | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:22 PM |
| 1 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?Even if you somehow find that I'd argue life might be marginally better. You'll still have your disagreements and times when they're a pain in the rear.. still have to plan your life around each other..but yeah you'll be able to tag team some things in life and hopefully still have feeling dfo fondness. You'll have some emotional support. This is the best I've seen in those rare couples. They arent living in some Hollywood bliss | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:18 PM |
| 2 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?You could replace it with romantic relationships in general a d I'd agree. Kids are a desire that can be hard to deny, but so much risk involved whether it's in a committed relationship or not (for their sake committment is best, but that means so little today). Relationships may seem beneficial at first, and marriage can renew that... But one way or another it always depreciates over time and it's mostly hormonal | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:12 PM |
| 3 | There really is no upside to marriage, is there?I do think kids are the one place where they should be conceived and raised within a committed marriage. That's about the only exception. But then again people have proven that commitment falls apart pretty quickly for a lot of women so....yeah you're right. I mean I'm pretty sure that's all that kept my ex around. Once she was done with that no effort left. I'm just an idealist still and I have my convictions of faith. Women can unfortunately be a little too flexible with things like beliefs an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 03:09 PM |
| 2 | Custody? How much of an impact is the child’s decision?In Canada I think at 15 they can pretty much decide where they want to spend their time | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/23 02:31 AM |
| 21 | Another Victim of “Are We Dating the Same Guy” Facebook Group in NYC.. Any Guidance?Yup they're filtering themselves out. Alternatively yeah I'd you could get a members list so you know who to not waste time on..but would have to be able to search/filter cause that's too many lol | /r/MensRights | 20/05/23 02:39 AM |
| 8 | Has anyone ever seen even ONE video of a drunk man trying to avoid arrest by claiming police "sexual assault"? Why are there so many videos of women doing this? Don't they know they are on body cam?Plenty of guys will tell you some women will gladly do both (physical and social violence), myself included. Be very careful if you ever even try to restrain them, push them away, warning slap in return etc. At that point anything they did up to that very point does not exist in their minds | /r/MensRights | 19/05/23 09:39 PM |
| 2 | Anyone win her back?I feel once they're at that point you have to ask if you want them back, since they can't appreciate you for who you are. Obviously different if you majorly screwed up somehow, like cheating. If you were constantly trying to console them or appease them heck no though. Feels like just asking for them to rub your nose in it and spending years trying to somehow earn their good graces, which is a losing game. I'm happy to be wrong though and I personally tried to make things right to the bitter end… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/23 08:34 PM |
| 1 | I Am Finally Out From Under Child Support; WTF Now?Yeah I mentioned when kids go to college and my lawyer informed me (in Alberta, Canada) that actually as it stands currently divorced parents have more of a burden than intact families. Mainly because in a court order you can't order 1/3 parent A, 1/3 parent B, 1/3 child. The child can't be ordered to pay for any of their school. So each parent is required by family law to pay half of a 4 year degree. After that there in their own..I was floored.. as I fully expected to help,.but expected kids t… | /r/MensRights | 18/05/23 10:43 PM |
| 2 | Today I decided to have a little read up about what the gender pay gap is (or isn’t) meant to be and I’m absolutely astonished.The biggest exception is sports..but is it really? NBA salary caps are a % of revenue. They can insist on making the same salary as much as they want, they'll all be unemployed real quick as the league would go bankrupt. It's subsidized by NBA as it is. It's essentially commission based pay. If we really want to go there I think most athletes are overpaid but that's another discussion and it's just how society is setup. Itd a system thing and entertainers in general. CFL players don't expect to … | /r/MensRights | 18/05/23 09:58 PM |
| 2 | How do you guys overcome sheer loneliness?I know you'll still have the longing and it won't replace that, but I do still recommend the fur babies :) someone to see when you come home and snuggle with | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 09:17 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys overcome sheer loneliness?I overcame it by getting divorced... Ok maybe not funny. She actually left me but both isolated and miserable enough it was true in my case. I suppose I went through that process before divorce while yours was more sudden. So you're fditll in the process of adjusting. I miss seeing people time to time since I work at home, but don't feel lonely like I did married to her. Always kept a small company and liked my space though. Been two years as well. As for something practical. Look at your hobbie… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 08:27 PM |
| 2 | What do you think of women?That's a very broad demographic lol. I have family members and friends I care for. My sister's can be dramatic but I love them all the same. My mom is actually the opposite. Stoic af and will support me no matter what. Her and my dad have made it work all these years. Friendships I have one girl I've kept in touch with still that I was friends with from elementary school. Was like one of us guys. I've had a coupoe co-workera that were chill. Romance? I have a hard time trusting them. A lot of pa… | /r/MensRights | 17/05/23 03:16 AM |
| 2 | how to accept loss of children with evil stbxw ?Echo these thoughts and add check it her native country has signed onto the Hague convention, which is an international agreement to prevent child abduction by one parent | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/23 02:57 PM |
| 4 | She’s fighting 50/50Luckily for my kids it was only two nights. I basically told my lawyer I couldn't stand my kids there and I'd move out if they'd come back. Agreed she would come.vack and I'd move out after a coupoe days with kids. Or course the emergency custody order was just a coupoe days a week and set the tone. Never any real reason given. Just that she had a panic attack | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/23 01:27 PM |
| 7 | She’s fighting 50/50Don't give her any ideas (allege abuse). Mine did as well as run to a shelter. Even though they both were proven to be her craziness there were no consequence and kinda set the tone for stays quo that only got sought adjustments. After two years finally looking at having 50/50 Nd it's supposed to be pretty standard here in Canada. Ended up costing me 10s of thousands just to get it and all that time lost when they're young | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/23 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Being forced to pay child support for the months I have my daughter by myselfDefinitely varies depending on jurisdiction. In Canada she'd have been paying you full child support. What's stupid here is if they can keep you at 11 days you owe them 100% but the monent you have 12 days a month it's just the difference of incomes. You can imagine what most moms are willing o give you and end up saying oh you can have them 2 days one week, 3 days the next... nevermind you still need to have the extra bedrooms, clothes (like yeah on paper supposed to send. Who wants to argue wi… | /r/MensRights | 14/05/23 04:27 PM |
| 5 | What’s the pointI hear ya. It's never enough. Ours was kinda messy cause some money from her rich family invoked. I felt embarrassed getting help but she just took it and while most went into mortgage certainly wasted plenty on renos and stupid crap. Large fully paid house was gonna go to her, no qualms. All I asked was all the liquid cash, like her TFSA. Would have been like 70/30.. never wanted to eevr work either... Anyways in her mind I should pretty much just keep my retirement savings.. that's it.. had so… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/23 05:12 AM |
| 4 | What’s the pointMy experience is that it really sucks for a couple years... She doesn't even bother working and it was such an uphill battle to keep increasing custody..but looking like once summer starts I'll have 50/50 finally, support will then be offset of our incomes, and it's looking like we will be able to inpute more (lawyer even said there has been some recent push for that in the law) since she's capable and kids aren both fully school age with. I excuse for her. So yeah it'll suck for a while but gra… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/23 04:17 AM |
| 1 | Posted on "Are We Dating The Same Guy", stressed and scared.Just comes across as online gossip more than anything. | /r/MensRights | 11/05/23 02:49 PM |
| 1 | Posted on "Are We Dating The Same Guy", stressed and scared.I guess some women just love to gossip. This is essentially online gossip | /r/MensRights | 10/05/23 08:11 PM |
| 3 | Posted on "Are We Dating The Same Guy", stressed and scared.Pretty much. I'm out of the dating game myself, but anyone who would judge you based on something a complete stranger tells them isn't worth your time. No idea why anyone thinks such a group is a good idea. Seems like one of those stupid group think things. Unless we restrict it to only being criminal records, literally dating the same guy at the same time (like you found out he's also seeing someone else ) or soemthing that isn't subjective. I dunno everyone seems to be a self proclaimed intern… | /r/MensRights | 10/05/23 06:44 PM |
| 8 | Posted on "Are We Dating The Same Guy", stressed and scared.Yup. I was naiive before, ex used to always say how every ex was toxic and I was told stupid to question it. Now it I saw a group like that with crazy comments about exes it would be a good list of women to avoid (the ones ranting). But yeah it just reinforces in general so many are loose cannons waiting to go off and better to just not take the risk for what you get. Not like you win the jackpot if everything doesn't go to crap somewhere down the road | /r/MensRights | 10/05/23 03:55 PM |
| 102 | Posted on "Are We Dating The Same Guy", stressed and scared.This is exactly what I don't get about these groups (only heard about them other day and confused since). Don't girls know as well as anyone how other girls will always slander exes, embellish/even make crap up, and claim every ex is abusive/toxic? So why would they even put any stock in the group? Or have my experiences with a bpd jaded me so much and in fact there are plenty of girls out there that will speak glowingly about exes? Edit: I mean heck.. I think we are a lot less vindictive but I … | /r/MensRights | 10/05/23 03:29 PM |
| 2 | STBXW called 911, gave false story to dispatcher, almost got me killedThat's insane. What's crazy is she packed up the kids a d left. Why the heck wasn't she asked to leave by herself? Or was it just agreed in cause you had to work next day or soemthing? Always seems like it anyone leaves kids always stay with mom for some reason. I remember when my ex freaked out when mediation didn't go as hoped and she actually owed me a bit for keeping the house lol (some of her family money involved but she literally thought I was working to basically just pay for daily expen… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/23 03:28 PM |
| 2 | dick move or notOh.. why is it such a conundrum then? 50/50 down the middle. You mean some states don't default to that? Even in Canada it generally is minus what each party brought into the marriage, unless there is family money 💰 involved. Ex got closer to 75% because her rich family kept sending her money | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/23 01:41 PM |
| 2 | STBX basically planning on burning her share of our assetsBrought up a good point about vows. Not only do I believe what I said in vows (I mean I was suffering too), but in my religious beliefs (we were supposed to have shared) getting remarried is adultery. So yeah I had no right plans. Either we made it work or stay single. She was already thinking of the next guy who would follow her every beck and call and how is I'm not gonna do this or that shed find someone else who would. Always conveniently took what worked for her and rejected the parts she d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/23 06:09 AM |
| 3 | dick move or notHow's 50/50 gonna work if the kids are in school? Are there extenuating circumstances that caused you to move? Or just closer to family/better job? Don't mean to stress you out, but when they're in school and parents aren't within driving distance someone is gonna get stuck with weekends and I'd suspect preference would and should go to where the couple were raising them before the split happened. I'd think moving away would work against you here, but that's a question for the lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/23 05:48 AM |
| 2 | STBX basically planning on burning her share of our assetsThat's how i felt. Everything was always my fault and was like well we can go to counselling. I was always willing to put in the work and really just needed her to meet me at least last way . Nope. Didn't do any of the homework, so single minded and couldn't list positives when counsellors would ask . Would have to be silenced by counsellors cause she couldn't stop her rants, etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/23 05:34 AM |
| 1 | STBX basically planning on burning her share of our assetsCheck if her home country falls under the Hague convention. If so and she kidnaps your kid they will catch her on that end. If not might want to see if your lawyer can get you yhr kids passports to hold onto. They're supposed to always check single parents with kids at airport and ask for letter, but if they don't and it's not a Hague convention signing country it would be ugly | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/23 05:30 AM |
| 242 | “Study Reveals Queens Were MUCH More Willing To Pursue Violence Than Kings - Domestic Violence Awareness Australia”. Imagine my shock.Honestly makes sense. Defend my honour. Stand up to him for me, you gonna let him say that etc. | /r/MensRights | 08/05/23 05:18 AM |
| 6 | unconscionableSame. Ex it became. Sometimes when talking about my kids it's 'their mother'. The other day pissed me off so I brought up SouthPark song about Kyle's mom being a b and put my kids name in there for Kyle lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/23 01:12 PM |
| 43 | Is anyone else completely sick of the "man stupid and incompetent" trope in every single piece of media now a days?Yeah that part did feel like a bit of forced girl power. Just had to throw it in there | /r/MensRights | 03/05/23 02:18 PM |
| 1 | I'm tired, man.Yeah you have to be really perceptive to what people say. They will be tactful about it as they don't want to offend you. It'll mostly just be little comments, but later you find out oh ya never liked her lol. I wish I'd pay them more heed. People have a much better perspective than you do lol | /r/MensRights | 03/05/23 04:48 AM |
| 1 | I'm tired, man.Could definitely be that. We always had issues but then they'd get better for a while. I realized by the end she only put in her best behaviour when she wanted a kid or to move. After our second kid and she was done all appearances were off essentially. I was blind enough early on I missed the signs but others didn't like her from day one | /r/MensRights | 03/05/23 12:53 AM |
| 1 | I'm tired, man.Yeah I'm pretty sure mine has bpd.. it's funny how she thinks it's everybody else with the issues. Should have realized when every ex was supposedly crazy. Who knows maybe yours was too. I'd always be worried if it was quiet from a couple weeks. She'd start crap just out of boredom I think. Once she started going she'd bring all kinds of crap up from several years before and we'd to through it all for again | /r/MensRights | 03/05/23 12:34 AM |
| 9 | I'm tired, man.Crappy friends man.. that blows. I know how that can be. My ex used to be a b.. and then demand an apology when I snapped back.. she wouldn't accept a simple apology either and she'd keep me up late into the night when I'm asking her can we please talk about this tomorrow.. I have to get up early for work. I'm sure I've been late because of crap too, I'm fortunate no one watches clock and I sort of set my hours. Can't believe they'd bail like that after being friends so long. I remember a good c… | /r/MensRights | 02/05/23 11:41 PM |
| 18 | I'm tired, man.I hear ya. I'm lucky I have at least a coupoe people in my life who care. Just sucks they don't live closer. I do worry when my parents pass away that list will become a lot shorter. I'm so thankful for how they always ask me about how my kids are behaving, how my ex is behaving lol, encourage me etc. I also have a really good buddy who is keeping tabs to see if his legal case with his past employer or my divorce is wrapped up first. He was there to help me laugh about parts of it and ask me fro… | /r/MensRights | 02/05/23 11:24 PM |
| 1 | You guys are the fucking problemUsed to be some of these subs and mgtow would post daily examples of misandry. Just looked at fds and seems a lot of it is podcast spam labelled stuff like 'male power tactics and why scrotes are winnint'. There is one on there that's Titled something like man children are causing dry vaginas. The entire premise of the sub is about how so many low value men are out there and usually meaning they aren't gonna pay for every little thing..it may have been cleaned up a bit after all of the banning. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/23 09:33 PM |
| 1 | You guys are the fucking problemA few things here and there. It certain wasn't rampant. I honestly feel it's more agenda when you still have stuff like Female dating strategy alive and well and other feminist subs that actively make toxic comments or even wish harm on men | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/23 08:45 PM |
| 1 | You guys are the fucking problemSociety in general attributes valid to women and children for simply existing. Maybe you can add attractiveness as an additional scale for women. Men's value has always been based on what can you do unless you're 9/10 or higher maybe | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/23 03:00 AM |
| 2 | You guys are the fucking problemThere were a few that were really bitter and went over the line. Honestly why would anyone be surprised though? That's pretty much any sub. So many subs that are far more toxic out there.. some of them women hating on men, but it's just more acceptable for some reason | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/23 02:58 AM |
| 9 | You guys are the fucking problemI think it's less about evil and more that you don't know which ones you can trust and which ones you can't. And you often dint until it's too late. The reality is quotes like hell hath no fury like a woman scorned are based on people's experience. We are just wired different. One thing is that women tend to hold grudges longer, even other women will usually admit to that. My personal opinion is they also tend to be less concerned about things like collateral damage in disputes. I think others h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/23 08:51 PM |
| 9 | You guys are the fucking problemBecause everybody, like everybody... Even your closet friends and family sell you on a lie. Everybody basically just expects it and tries to say yeah it's tough (more as an aside) but worth it, sell it as man's ultimate purpose... Nobody ever spends much time telling you how badly it can ruin your whole life or basically say oh just make sure you find someone at church instead of a bar or as long as you're willing to compromise and help out it won't happen to you. It's all bs... The upside is so… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/23 08:00 PM |
| 2 | Divorced and wanting happiness with in new relationship but ex wife does not like new gf.I guess I misunderstood. Your first statement made it sound like you were moving across country for the relationship. So you're being forced to move for work and you already connected with someone there? | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/23 05:12 AM |
| 14 | Divorced and wanting happiness with in new relationship but ex wife does not like new gf.You're moving across the country away from your kids for a woman? (it may or may not work out) Yeah that's gonna be a hard sell to your kids or anyone else really. Can't say I understand | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/23 05:10 AM |
| 7 | I wish I could understandAgreed except wanting what feels like an equal partnership and picking and choosing my battles is 100% me. That's who my ex rejected..The fact I have to be someone else to attract and hold a mate meant I decided I'm out of the race altogether personally. I never did like playing any of the dating games growing up where my friends just told me I needed to be a dick to them. Was never willing to do it then either. Being flexible, quiet, and easy going just makes me easier to take advantage of. I h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/04/23 08:12 PM |
| 2 | Is this study real or just inaccurate? Women call out “medical gaslighting”?Not that far off. She was apparently so concerned that our daughter was hitting puberty so early and kept talking about precocious puberty. Supposedly is convinced that bit the route to go. I had to repeatedly tell her she's right on track with my sisters and that it's normal in my family to be an early bloomer. She always think everything is wrong with everyone else. You guessed the Karen part very accurately. Literally the type to ask to see managers and ask people to bend company policies jus… | /r/MensRights | 20/04/23 01:33 PM |
| 3 | Is this study real or just inaccurate? Women call out “medical gaslighting”?Yeah I added a bit as well to my edit. I suspect bs.. it's one of those things where if you can't easily disprove (or prove for that matter) it will get perpetuated until it's just accepted by as fact some. Happens too often | /r/MensRights | 18/04/23 04:59 PM |
| 2 | Is this study real or just inaccurate? Women call out “medical gaslighting”?Ah thanks. I mean I guess it's possible. There is a lot of conclusions without any actual figures or statistics. Just says they are more likely to misdiagnose women than men and it's because they have less research or info on their bodies. Doesn't even say why.. I know a lot of medical research happened during wars in general and the Nazis.. maybe more male corpses studied? More male athletes? That tends to have lots of $$$ for medical research. The specific examples given are very anecdotal and… | /r/MensRights | 18/04/23 04:31 PM |
| 6 | Is this study real or just inaccurate? Women call out “medical gaslighting”?Behind a pay wall. Seems to be about docs talking womens concerns less seriously. Can only say my own little anecdotal world that my ex is a hypochondriac that thinks everything is wrong with both herself and her kids. I feel the doctor seems to indulge all of her whims if anything. My oldest is a top student and can sit with a book for hours, but she's managed to convince doctors that she has ADHD and has her on meds... I'm scheduled to meet with pediatrician to find out more about how they ass… | /r/MensRights | 18/04/23 03:55 PM |
| 4 | Why do woman make accusations of rape so casually?Could also ask how they can do casually make allegations of abuse to themselves or kids during a divorce. Well we know in those cases they are trying to make a power play.. but don't seem to care how damaging it can be. Some of them really do seem to have a child's mentality with little regard for consequences | /r/MensRights | 18/04/23 02:41 PM |
| 1 | Beware of AgendaYes it becomes reality to them. The funny thing though is that if you let them talk they end up contradicting themselves eventually. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/23 03:18 PM |
| 2 | Beware of AgendaToo true. My ex went from having people over and praying with them to... Oh the wedding reception was short staffed, everything was delayed.. not only do I want it all covered but I was t to ask them for $50k in compensation and you'd better back my play... Truth be told still relatively restrained until divorce.. that's when it truly came out.. doesn't bother working cause support and rich family .. comes back from overseas where she has maids at big family house and signs up kid for summer cam… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/23 03:13 PM |
| 1 | Beware of AgendaYeah your idea of rationalism/emotionalism is also tied to their subjective trith I believe. Could also have been her bpd, but my ex always remembered events based on how she felt instead of the actual factual series of events. I was under the impression it's not uncommon among females to remember how they felt instead of what actually happened. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/23 03:08 PM |
| 5 | If marriage goes South. Call a lawyer first then proceed.I'm sure most people who are already going the pre nup route are being prudent and calculating. You can do all of the above and you're not unique. Heck even if your chances go up to 80/20 that's too low to not feel nervous if things go south | /r/MensRights | 15/04/23 02:58 PM |
| 0 | If marriage goes South. Call a lawyer first then proceed.A bit less than 50%??? You're kinda proving his point. That's no reassuring at all for anyone thinking they'll just get a prenup to protect themselves. I still maintain the money ain't the worst part about going through a terrible marriage and divorce | /r/MensRights | 15/04/23 02:54 PM |
| 1 | If marriage goes South. Call a lawyer first then proceed.Also just easier to not get married than to get the fire insurance and knowing you'll prob need it. Besides it only protects money, not the emotional damage where you come out a husk of your former self and years of recovery.. and fighting so hard just to get equitable custody.. | /r/MensRights | 15/04/23 02:51 PM |
| 15 | Hey guys, have you ever noticed how society seems to give women a pass when it comes to cheating on their husbands? It's time for us men to stop being biased and start supporting each other! Let's stop treating infidelity differently based on gender.Remove the western and you're spot on. I married into an Asian family before and as I got to know that family more.. man the women were all nasty except maybe the one that moved to Australia. You think men here are subservient? Far worse there.. they all wanted to rule the roost and all ended up discarding their men. Only exception is the uncle with F you money. He eventually committed to the baby momma, but for a while she'd even drop him off at the airport to visit his other gf. She'd rather s… | /r/MensRights | 15/04/23 02:38 PM |
| 2 | It turns out my now ex-wife was emailing everyone in my family throughout the divorce and they're so poisoned I've had to estrange myself from themHow did your own family not see through her bs. That's extremely disappointing. Need new family lol. The moment she tried to email them to complain about me they let me know and since I did t have her as a FB friend anymore they were screenshotting every nasty post she made saying look at all the lies she's spewing. We know it's fake because we know you and we've seen enough of her nasty side. I sent to my lawyer and she unfriended all of them lol. I still have her uncle on mine I think. Many of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/23 02:32 PM |
| 3 | From my observations of my siblings and others, I could be wrong, but it seems like good marriages are only suited for specific types of people. I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of living single indefinitely.Yeah... I honestly don't think I know any guy that really seems better off after marriage. Exception is they seem happy being a dad. Otherwise best case is a wash. They're comfortable enough not to get into each other's way too much, work as a team to raise their kids. I remember this family in our old church that seemed like a nice family only to get more involved in their lives and finding out as we went through divorce that they almost did too and finding she actually made a lot of comments a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/23 02:05 PM |
| 63 | At what point in your life, did you stop being affected by calls to "man up"?It's an ironic term, because what it's telling you to do is actually basically the opposite. It's essentially saying do what I say/let me order you around like a boy | /r/MensRights | 13/04/23 07:52 PM |
| 2 | How do you guys deal with the fact your ex-wives could pick anyone up in a week, but it might take you YEARS (or never)?Mine is on lawyer number four I'm assuming because they diddnt tell her what she wanted to hear. Almost done.. also has to switch mediator/arbitratoe because she thought they were bias against her lol. Of course with rich family she has ho motivation to ever try to wrap it up quickly | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/23 06:22 PM |
| 3 | How do you guys deal with the fact your ex-wives could pick anyone up in a week, but it might take you YEARS (or never)?Yeah even when things were going bad I was still found her attractive. Once divorce proceedings started though and her true nature came out.. her inner ugliness basically made all that attraction go away personally. I dunno what to say. There are plenty of good looking women out there to look at instead. Yeah I also had some codependency and at least a few of us are pretty sure she's bpd which tend to suck in codependent types. It IS annoying they won't get off the damn couch and take care of th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/23 03:38 PM |
| 10 | How do you guys deal with the fact your ex-wives could pick anyone up in a week, but it might take you YEARS (or never)?Eh honestly only time I was ever in a dark place and lonely was married to her. Only other times was having my heart broken growing up. Otherwise I spent around two decades single, but not lonely or in a dark place. Best moments of my life. I pity the sucker she picks up. Let em have her. I'm sure she's physically attractive for our age (she had let herself get on the fat side, but think she finally got off the couch a bit since we split and lost a bit) but after seeing her true side I have no i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/23 01:43 PM |
| 2 | Back child supportCheck with your lawyer. Where I am child support only starts when you're financially separated and you're moved out | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/23 03:45 PM |
| 13 | Does this ever happen?It even goes beyond that. She would lose her crap, saying nasty things etc.. but if i ever reacted in a way she didn't like I was the ahole, I was the one that needed to fix it. I was always expected to apologize for pretty much everything and make it right | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/23 11:55 PM |
| 28 | Does this ever happen?My ex ever apologized when we were married (or at least I can count them on one hand in 10 years). Why would she start now? Lol And why would anyone expect you to keep in touch once kids are out of the nest? Most of us would never see or talk to our ex ever again if it weren't for the kids and the fact we have to | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/23 09:13 PM |
| 4 | Did this kill anyone else’s Sex Drive?See I have zero interest in relationships anymore. I've never walked away from chasing anyone or being with anyone where I've felt positive. Lowest and most painful parts of my life were chasing after someone. Best ones aside from my kids were all being young and single. That tells me enough. I just love simplicity and quiet way more than excitement. Yet.... My darn lizard brain... I love curves too much lol.. I try to keep good thought life and keep my eyes clean, but feel like still hard not t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/23 05:30 PM |
| 6 | Did this kill anyone else’s Sex Drive?I think my sex drive was still good and strong.. actually struggle with temptation.. it's more that I don't want a relationship in general anymore. I wish I didn't have this sex drive sometimes. Prob most longings would be gone in general at that point as that feeling of attraction is hormonal and if I were to write a list of pros and cons of relationships the pros would be pretty short once you get rid of sex and hormones | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/23 03:32 PM |
| 1 | What was your experience with your (ex-) wife changing after you married her?Yeah that's the exact book I read when I first became aware of bpd and wanted to find out more (really last couple years of our marriage). And yeah all of the above. Had me questioning my own sanity at times. Even when we split and she started writing nasty stuff on Facebook a college friend of hers I met twice said he knows what's she's saying isnt true and that he knows from her past she embellishes and that it's not the rantings of a person at full capacity. I've also read from r/bpdlovedones… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/23 05:33 PM |
| 5 | What was your experience with your (ex-) wife changing after you married her?Everything bad in her life was always somebody else's fault. Every ex bf was crazy or abysive (should have realized that couldn't have been the case) Nothing but a victim. Lost her best friend because instead of apologizing for inappropriate remarks she had to bring up every offense her friend ever committed. Extreme outbursts and irrational when angered. I remember she used to tell me to stop the car or she'd jump out and start opening door when she was mad. At one point took to slapping me as … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/23 05:16 PM |
| 5 | What was your experience with your (ex-) wife changing after you married her?I remember her having a lot of insecurity, but after she came back from visiting family overseas she was noticeably different and her mom has tried to put a damper on the wedding. A trusted pastor said he thought she was going through depression and that she'd get through it as his wife had dealt with it. I should have held off on marriage... But yeah like you said it was pretty crazy once the ring was on. Was shocked our first fight already throwing divorce around.. first year was tough.. then … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/23 05:08 PM |
| 4 | "Equality" absolute joke, you couldn't make this stuff upDon't know who she is, if she's famous I know they do get ofd easier, but I'd imagine if a dude hit his wife and affair partner fame would only get them so far. This is a classic case of what is known as a pussy pass. No she didn't mean to hit them.. she only drove in wrong side of the rode 45 meters to get to them quicker, meant to brake earlier, then went out and assaulted the woman (why the heck do people go after the affair partner anyways? It wasnt them that made vows to you) | /r/MensRights | 04/04/23 04:39 AM |
| 1 | Hoe ti deal with the guilt?No prob if you want to | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/23 01:52 PM |
| 11 | Hoe ti deal with the guilt?Eh honestly as part of my religious beliefs I actually believe you're only free to remarry if the other dies (not you specifically, those that believe...).. so I don't personally plan to get past it. I'm at peace with it. Like you when I said my vows that was it. Even when divorce was coming it was we either fix it or I remain life the celibate quite life. Even if I didn't I have never really had much of a positive experience chasing women. It's always ended with some type of hurt. I'm sort of r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/23 12:29 AM |
| 2 | Why is cheating/adultery not a crime?Then all the more reason to not add more highly subjective laws with a lot of grey area. Guess I should have seen that coming, women and white knights abusing it | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 04:14 PM |
| 0 | Why is cheating/adultery not a crime?And other than extreme cases how often are those used? It's highly subjective in most cases what is too far. When you're in an exclusive relationship with a lot behind closed doors it becomes even more he said/she said | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 02:49 PM |
| 5 | Why is cheating/adultery not a crime?You're getting into a real messy can if worms legally when you talk about things like cheating. It's less black and white as other things. It's like trying to make bullying laws (aside from flat out assault if course). Do we make hurting others feelings in general illegal and where is the line? I guess only difference is marriage is a legal contact (or are you up extending this even to dating?) When it comes to cheating is it only when they've had sex? Are there situations, like abuse (and is it… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 02:43 AM |
| 3 | Young men who have divorced w/o kidsLet them grieve. Still sucks and hurts.. but yeah fortunate they aren't stuck dealing with her until your kids are grown up. The support payments can keep you from saving much until then as well depending on how motivated she actually is and/or how much you can inpute. Should they count their blessings that it could have been worse? Sure, good to see the bright side.. still a lot easier to rebuild Was rediculous. Was in another thread talking about wealthy people with low income that take advant… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/23 05:41 AM |
| 1 | 98.4% of rape accusations are without merit, somehow this is the governments fault.Headline is a little misleading. Some different numbers thrown around in article. 69% is what he's defending as a conviction rate "The 1.6% is the proportion of rapes recorded by police that led to someone being charged or ordered to appear in court in England and Wales in the year to September 2022." Doesn't mean they weren't raped. It means they either didn't have the identity of the rapists, there wasn't enough evidence (maybe they didn't go there soon enough to get rape kit done before DNA g… | /r/MensRights | 29/03/23 09:13 PM |
| 39 | So, it shocked me how many people believe that if a woman has sex with another woman, and is married it isn't cheating.That's insane. Maybe they're heterophobic! Cheating doesn't even have to be sex, it can be emotional when you cross a certain line. She being sexually stimulated by a woman instead of having sex with her husband..how is that not cheating? | /r/MensRights | 28/03/23 07:37 PM |
| 6 | 👉Build more awareness about your emotions during or after divorce.And being reminded of every last transgression (or in some cases perceived transgressions). I still remember several years into my marriage she still brought up how before being married I didn't ask if she could come to this other person's birthday party. She never forgave a single thing (which is ironic because we both claim to be Christians and forgiveness is kinda a big deal). My buddy would joke about me apologizing for being born.. the truth hurts | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/23 03:43 PM |
| 9 | 👉Build more awareness about your emotions during or after divorce.I'll add soemthing positive in there.. it's actually normal to feel relief and hope as well depending on the situation. Looked forward to rediscovering myself and old Passions I think any grief or mourning was experienced during the long breakdown in my own marriage. Didnt have much left to mourn. Mostly relief as I went through a lot to try and keep the peace over the years and he there for my kids no matter what. I did feel anger for sure for some of her actions.. also didn't feel much guilt a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/23 02:05 PM |
| 6 | My wife let me know she feels like she is no longer in love with me.Sorry to hear that. I think you're proceeding how you should. I have to wonder since it's only been two years if she married for a lot of the wrong reasons to begin with. In fact I can almost guarantee it. Many women have this grand idea of what it's supposed to look like and unrealistic expectations.. and/or they settle for a nice/good enough guy they sorta resent later. Anyways I know you feel crushed. I will only say if she really doesn't think you're worth it I can almost guarantee if you wo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/23 12:25 AM |
| 5 | An interesting idea.After a 'free' info session on real estate investment she spent another 2k for rest of weekend.. the. Tried to convince me to let her spend another 40k for mentoring, a trip to Vegas and some other supposed perks.. when I refused she said was using the equity in rental because it was money her and her mom put down. Ended up being a scam essentially..which is no surprise. The other was she saw online some people painted their hardwood floor all white. Or course I said it was a bad idea but she ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/23 07:04 PM |
| 3 | Splitting parents face fine for refusing mediationIn canada i knew who I was dealing with and already tried a mutual mediator (no independent counsel for either) with someone who wasn't even a lawyer, but has some courses.. explained to my lawyer how much of a disaster it was and how I just wanted to go to court. Was basically told they wouldn't even see us unless they saa is doing mediation and that it was going to be so much more expensive... Bills racked up and I asked again. Told she's not even sure where they'd assign us to, whether it was… | /r/MensRights | 23/03/23 02:52 PM |
| 7 | Vast majority of men were historically oppressed more than women, if not way more. Books and articles about history are extremely misleading and make people believe that ALL men lived life on easy mode, and not only the small minority of men who were born to noble families.Very enlightening stuff between op and the detailed voting history. Amazing how much of a narrative slant people can make | /r/MensRights | 23/03/23 01:25 PM |
| 11 | Settlement agreement not workingIt sucks when they are dillusioned, entitled, and have no self awareness. Unfortunately when one person is unreasonable it ends up costing both a fortune in legal fees. Nothing you can generally do but grin and bear it. You will have to fork out to settle it. You will also find yourself at intersections where it doesn't even matter who is right or wrong, but at some point it will cost you more to fight an issue than it is to give the more unreasonable person what they want. It becomes a game of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/23 06:49 PM |
| 1 | There's a lot of truth in blackpill, but hateful incels are hurting egalitarianismIt's more than just face, height, race.. can definitely play a part. I cant personally comment that much in my face, but tick off the other boxes. I've attracted people, but I also have some social anxiety especially with crushes.. anyways I digress. Science is finding out even things like personality has a lot to do with genetics.. and even things like being overweight can be definitely linked to genetica and some have a lot more to overcome (but it course for those its easy from they will just… | /r/MensRights | 22/03/23 04:21 PM |
| 3 | Breath breath… ventI hear ya... Im trying to co-parent with a borderline type... You find yourself getting those nasty messages and just want it scream out loud "don't you just want to move on with your life already?!!!" Like how can people seem to love conflict so much? It's exhausting. I just want to have peace. She was already told to use ourfamilywizard to communicate but when she basically refused the lawyers all just kinda shrugged.. Anyways what does one do when they get to strike 3? Do we really have a cho… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/23 04:37 AM |
| 2 | I'm dating a man who makes 270K a year, and wants me in his life foreverKinda half wondered if it was a troll post or fishing post to get material for female dating strategy or something lol | /r/MensRights | 13/03/23 04:28 AM |
| 2 | I'm dating a man who makes 270K a year, and wants me in his life foreverKind of a confusing post... Weird the subject and so much of post is about how much he makes and how important his job is. Not a big wig myself, but my ex uncle in law was one of wealthiest in his country. I don't think the women in his life did anything different than women in the rest of our lives... Some of the reservations were at fancier places sure.. but what women do to pleases us common riff raff I'd think would also please wealthy guys.. we are simple creatures when it boils down to it.… | /r/MensRights | 13/03/23 04:11 AM |
| 1 | Man ordered to pay ex-wife $215K for unpaid domestic laborI hear ya, but precedent has context as well and it doesn't sound like she is the first. It was specifically mentioned in the article it's something for womeb to consider if they had such a pre nup agreement. It's a substitute for the normal 50/50 split, not in addition to and judges are smart enough to know the difference. I'm not saying it can't be a slippery slope, but case law here is apples to oranges | /r/MensRights | 09/03/23 11:30 PM |
| 5 | Man ordered to pay ex-wife $215K for unpaid domestic laborIf you read the article they didn't have a standard split of their net worth when divorcing. She basically got nothing because of a pre nup. Apparently in such a case over there they can then at least inpute minimum wage of labour over the years .. seems pretty reasonable. The guy made millions and she walked away with 215k.. this isn't 'just alimony' by the sounds of the article | /r/MensRights | 09/03/23 06:59 PM |
| 13 | Man ordered to pay ex-wife $215K for unpaid domestic laborHonestly if I got to keep 90%+ of the wealth from the sounds of the article I'd be a lot happier right now personally. He made millions and a couple hundred k is all she got out of it. I do agree that the reasoning for itself is a little hokey and should never be factored into your typical 50/50 split | /r/MensRights | 09/03/23 05:40 PM |
| 15 | Man ordered to pay ex-wife $215K for unpaid domestic laborI see where you're coming from.. this should never become the norm.. but in this case the guy made millions and she got basically nothing from the sounds of it.. the key sentence in there is that they can go after it if they waived away their rights to sharing any of the wealth.. I'm perfectly fine with that as long as it's only for those cases Edit: did anyone actually read the article? | /r/MensRights | 09/03/23 05:21 PM |
| 4 | How did divorce change you emotionally?36, 2 kids, was married 10 years, moved out 2 years ago. Paying child support (will go down in June since my custody will be equal then).. so far 75/25 for medical/extra curricular... Still complains even though she's going on third vacation this year and hasn't looked for a job. Leeches off rich family and me. Will not date or marry again. I realize that while pursuit can be exciting, the lowest parts of my life all involved romantic interests and the most peaceful times of my life were when I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 04:40 PM |
| 2 | I'm being accused by 2 of my ex-girlfriends and my friends are leaving meDisproportional punishment is all too true. There is a reason they say help hath no fury like a woman scorned. | /r/MensRights | 08/03/23 06:14 PM |
| 3 | Why don’t men go to therapy?Cost is a big one I think... Although there are some free options. I remember when some concerns bright up that my daughter and I weren't as close as my other kid and she was having behavioural stuff I saw a guy for a few sessions. Was so expensive.. like a lawyer it's a few hundred an hiur. My benefits covered one session a year...got a couple general pieces of advice I found helpful, but a lot of generalities and him telling me about his own experience as a divorced dad (which again some good … | /r/MensRights | 07/03/23 09:09 PM |
| 2 | I'm being accused by 2 of my ex-girlfriends and my friends are leaving meYeah I think that's actually fairly common in Abrahamic societies/religions. Sometimes needed an additional person to corroborate. Doesn't sound good in today's society.. but many people, myself included, have witnessed women willing to lie and even perjure themselves to hurt someone out of spite when they feel they've been wronged. We are wired different (not just genitals that make us different...) and some are very reactive when emotions are involved.. tend to hold make grudges.. and at least… | /r/MensRights | 07/03/23 05:35 PM |
| 55 | I'm being accused by 2 of my ex-girlfriends and my friends are leaving meMy initial reaction would be cmon you know me, I'm not like that.. the. It would be if that's really the case then why aren't they filing charges? After that I'd be looking for new friends. My ex thrsw all kinds of accusations after divorce and put some on Facebook. I never faced any backlash at all. Everyone basically just said she's crazy and even one of her old childhood friends I met once or twice basically messages me on FB and said yeah I know from her past she embellishes things.. I don't… | /r/MensRights | 06/03/23 07:45 PM |
| 25 | Female-dominated careersIt's teachers that has me most concerned about it r next generation... Growing up I had some very strong male influences in my life (other than my dad) that helped me along the way. I worry my son doesnt have that in school.. he does have some of that in scouts | /r/MensRights | 06/03/23 05:47 PM |
| 102 | Do you think the system is bound to collapse?I mean... You're talking about the western world and in many cases we are having to import immigrants from parts of the world that are more 'traditional' just to support our social systems (pretty much a pyramid scheme.. no contingencies for anything but indefinite growth).. so I think it's already started.. if those other countries start to become more westernized then we really hit the breaking point. | /r/MensRights | 04/03/23 07:49 PM |
| 3 | #StandWithLeo: Feminists are all about my body my choice until men come up.From a personal perspective you're preaching to the choir here. I don't believe in hookups even in consenting adults... Children should not be messing around with adult things (and pregnancy is always a risk even if small with precautions). I waited until marriage myself as is consistent with my personal beliefs. I just feel like in a hookup culture people (particularly liberal/feminist types) have played themselves and shown how are inconsistent they are. It's entertaining in a sense in a world… | /r/MensRights | 04/03/23 05:57 PM |
| 4 | #StandWithLeo: Feminists are all about my body my choice until men come up.Canada. Plenty of gr 8 girls (13) were sexually active with the older guys (highschool was gr 8-12) when I grew up and that was over 20 years ago. First couple who had sex was in gr 7 (12). I remember some girls in my senior years jokingly calling them finger puppets... yikes..Can only imagine it's gotten worse. 19 year old models have generally been through the ropes... | /r/MensRights | 04/03/23 05:44 PM |
| 6 | #StandWithLeo: Feminists are all about my body my choice until men come up.I would agree personally.. except in a hookup society where sex is supposed to be empowering and children start having sex as young as 12/13 (and people think it's fine) I find it really inconsistent with modern society values...where body count doesn't matter and it's all harmless fun and even empowering and liberating etc. | /r/MensRights | 04/03/23 05:30 PM |
| 16 | #StandWithLeo: Feminists are all about my body my choice until men come up.There is some weird outdated idea that young women are still these innocent and delicate flowers not to be corrupted. Reality is by her age in today's society (especially in the modelling world) she's already fairly 'seasoned'.... We even have publicists telling their clients go have fun with Leo and it will give you some clout (prob same with Pete Davidson at this point) | /r/MensRights | 04/03/23 05:25 PM |
| 21 | #StandWithLeo: Feminists are all about my body my choice until men come up.I find the Leo thing entertaining... As a conservative Christian I have a very different world view.... Things like one night stands and 3 date rules I find very hard to understand.... Crawling into bed with someone you know nothing about... So I find it ironic that suddenly everyone is so concerned he can't have intellectual conversations with the latest young girl he's having some fun with (they both know what they're doing and I don't think either is seeing future spouse here). Like pick one … | /r/MensRights | 04/03/23 05:03 PM |
| 3 | Update - Divorce Papers SignedWow a few months that's it? Consider yourself lucky. I guess her moving away really helped. After 2 years almost wrapped up, but haven't quite closed the gap on the kids expenses she racked up after I moved out. I thought for stuff we didn't agree one she'd be SOL (that's what I've always been told) but somehow not completely.. don't know how you can sign kids up and send the bill later... Def will be around half what she hoped for though. Her switching lawyers a couple times (on 4th I'd you cou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/23 05:59 PM |
| 3 | She won't leave me aloneYeah no idea why they want to make life so difficult. We were actually told to use ourfamilywizard for all communications as well, but she tried to get us to use another one.. and then said that one didn't work on her phone.. so back to OFW but then refused so it basically just fell by the wayside. No one wants to suggest options to enforce it or anything | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/02/23 09:39 PM |
| 3 | Fathers, if you got equal custody, what factors helped you the most ?It's very telling and sad going through others comments. The common denominator from those of us that managed other than being an uphill.battle and a drawn out one is that it's going to cost you lots of money.... I get the sense of you don't have the finances for a drawn out battle you're basically screwed... something that really should be a default | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/23 08:06 AM |
| 5 | Fathers, if you got equal custody, what factors helped you the most ?Fighting for 2 years and paying tens of thousands the just have people in the room and do a bunch of posturing and stuff any lay person could do... Not the answer you're looking for but yeah.. it's gonna be an uphill battle. For some reason they like to watch the world burn and hope you give up. And yeah in Canada the courts basically want to make sure you exhaust all other options first and then they'll give you a date in a year. I was told if it even gets there they don't like to make major ch… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/23 08:52 PM |
| 2 | Wife "casually" told me what would happen awhile back. What is the reality in this situation?Yeah I get that. Didn't even really know what a normal long term relationship looked like from a first person perspective. I was always fairly shy. Was young and naiive, only a short term local relationship and a longer but long distance one (where I was catfished and also manipulated with guilt)... I planned on really taking my time originally..chalk it up as a very expensive lesson... Never dealt with anyone that had a personality disorder before | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/23 04:11 PM |
| 2 | Wife "casually" told me what would happen awhile back. What is the reality in this situation?Yup. Should have been a big red flag to me when every single ex was crazy, toxic, abusive etc... And how every thing that ever went bad in her life was poor her and never a result of simply making a lot of bad decisions with little foresight. I guess I was a sucker for a damsel in distress, but she also has extreme ways of looking at things that I should have seen | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/23 03:08 PM |
| 4 | Wife "casually" told me what would happen awhile back. What is the reality in this situation?That hit home. Sounds very similar to my ex. Believe she is bpd (really any of the cluster b could apply except anti social, but fits the best). Also expected her life not to change. Yours should be a bit easier since they're older hopefully... Your kids are this point should be basically deciding where they want to live.. even 15 is old enough. And no you won't be giving up your whole pay check.. I think it's worse in Canada, but I give up almost 30% of my take home every month because it's not… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/23 09:07 PM |
| 38 | I’m confused on what I did wrong. It seems like my comments got removed for being pro men since it was factual. I’m not sure if I can post pics here but I thought this would be the best place considering the subject matter.You're not wrong. There are even laws being proposed in some countries (I think even UK) that are trying to allow women not to go to jail at all for milder offenses in order to be mom at home. It's well known that they are likely to have more lenient sentences.. if they didn't there wouldn't be subs like pussy pass denied. You're correct that anyone famous and rich enough don't follow same rules the rest of us riff Raff do | /r/MensRights | 21/02/23 11:57 PM |
| 1 | Is CS and alimony calculated based on last year's taxes or your current pay?I'm sure it depends on the state. I know in Canada it is based on your tax return/T4 slip (T4 is income info used to file taxes). I know ours we setup to review every June | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/23 05:32 PM |
| 4 | Just one of those days.Don't really have a ton of answers. Only been a couple years myself... Sadly waiting for one final piece to get settled still. Hoping any day now. Some extra kids expenses and then should be written all up with the updated custody arrangement that will be equitable. Only thing I gotta say is..byou said it yourself. She showed her true colours in the divorce. At some point I realized my ex was never the person I married. Made tons of excuses for he behavior in the marriage, but scales fell off. I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/23 11:30 PM |
| 19 | What is the drive to find another partner ASAP?A lot of it is societal conditioning it feels like and.. people feeling horny lol .. we grow up being told the pinnacle of humanity is being in a relationship.. our hormones scream at us. You take those out of the picture and there is really no logical reason, especially if you have no future plans for kids. I can't think of any good reason myself. And even though we all feel longings I know reality is life has always been better when I'm single. Every relationship has always had too many ups an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/23 11:23 PM |
| 3 | Male victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault, the conversation no one wants to start.This one is still painful personally. My ex had a real temper and was quite controlling. When we'd get into arguments and I felt myself getting really angry I'd try to leave the room and she'd physically try to block me and tell me not to be a coward and then say I'm pushing her when I tried to get past. When I'd upset her while I'm driving she'd slap me. Wish I'd just have taken my exit but was so bound and determined not to divorce, was ingrained at a young age. I kept telling her no and how w… | /r/MensRights | 13/02/23 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Christianity in itself was a feminism movement.We generalize it because he goes right back to creation that's it really. Nothing else needs to be said. By doing so he's removed any kind of special context that may apply | /r/MensRights | 11/02/23 06:05 PM |
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